Harry Potter and the Power of Emotion
by Melindaleo
Summary: Harry is struggling to come to terms with the events of his 5th year. Can he learn to depend on those he considers family and become what he needs to be in order to survive? HG RHr
1. Default Chapter

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only and no profit is being made.

A/N: This is my first attempt at a fanfiction, so please be kind. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it!

****

Chapter One

Solitary Grieving

As evening began to set on Little Whinging, a cold gray mist hung in the air. The summer had been much cooler and damper than the previous year and the perfectly manicured lawns of Privet Drive were full and lush from all the moisture. As workers began to arrive home from the workday, umbrellas popped out of car doors as the occupants quickly made their way inside and out of the damp drizzle. 

One lone figure remained outside, in no apparent hurry to escape the rain as he ambled slowly down the street. He wore a sweatshirt that hung loosely, nearly to his knees but carried no umbrella. His shoulders were hunched and his hands thrust deep in the pockets of his very baggy jeans. His raven hair was untidy, while the front lay pressed against his head, flattened by the rain, the back stuck out at odd angles. 

The dreary day seemed to reflect his mood, the boy's face was pensive, his expression blank. His eyes, emerald in color and hidden behind round spectacles, were flat and listless, reflecting a great sadness. As he trudged home in the gently falling rain, his thoughts drifted aimlessly over his time at Privet Drive.

Harry Potter was not having a good summer. Not that his summers were ever great, but this one was proving particularly hard. 

Upon closer inspection of the boy's gaunt face, dark circles were clearly visible beneath his eyes. His pale complexion was unhealthy and seemed to radiate weariness. Harry was having difficulty sleeping. Even though he forced himself to stay awake to the brink of exhaustion, sleep was fleeting, quickly interrupted by dark dreams. Harry was no stranger to nightmares; both the regular ones and those inspired by witnessing actual events. He had been an unwilling witness to the torture and destruction Voldemort had been causing since that fateful night back in May. His scar had been prickling constantly, whether he was asleep or awake. At night, he'd sometimes wake up feeling his head on fire and hurting so intensely he couldn't open his eyes to see. He was sure the horrific images he'd seen were real, there was no one in them he knew so it couldn't be another trap. How was he, a skinny, not quite 16-year-old with no remarkable magic ability supposed to stop him? What was this Power the Dark Lord knew not—?

"STOP," his mind would scream. "Don't think about that"

He'd repeat this mantra over and over until his thoughts strayed to safer, more neutral ground. He had spent the past three weeks doing this anytime thoughts of the Prophecy occurred to him. If he let himself dwell on them, he'd become overwhelmed and a panic would set in. Since he didn't like dealing with that, it was easier to push the thoughts away. This was his usual method of dealing with anything that became too much.

His regular nightmares were somehow worse. They all started either in the Department of Mysteries or the graveyard in Little Hangleton. He'd watch either Sirius or Cedric fall, but somehow, as dreams often do, the events got mixed up. It always ended the same though, with everyone he loved dying one by one, always through some fault of his own. He'd wake up tangled in his sheets with uncomfortable moisture on his face. 

He had learned a long time ago that there was no point in crying, it did you no good anyway. He was very frustrated that he couldn't control his tears in his dreams as he did in his waking hours. His aunt and uncle were at the end of their admittedly short ropes with him. His screams were waking the house at an alarmingly regular rate, a source of endless amusement to his cousin, Dudley.

Harry's relationship with his relatives had taken a turn for the worse, something even he hadn't considered possible. The warning he'd received from the Weasleys and some of the Order at King's Cross enraged Uncle Vernon and he ranted furiously to Harry about it the entire ride home. Aunt Petunia had huffed about the nerve' and how ungrateful' Harry was for everything they'd done for him. 

"How dare those horrid people approach us and make such a scene in such a public place. Nothing like that had better ever happen again or you will rue the day you'd ever been born!'"

__

HA! As if he weren't doing that every day anyway! 

Dudley merely sat there cracking his knuckles. Harry had tuned them out and stared unseeing out the window as they drove. 

When they arrived, he'd been locked in his room immediately. His school things there with him, however, so it wasn't as bad as it could've been. He missed dinner, but it didn't matter, he wasn't hungry anyway.

The next morning his aunt let him out and gave him breakfast. No one spoke except to give him his list of chores for the day. Harry didn't mind the silence, it was better than having to argue or come up with things to say. 

The Dursleys began acting as if he wasn't there, which suited Harry just fine. He'd managed a bit of toast before excusing himself and making his way back to his room. 

Harry's appetite was non-existent and even with the small rations his aunt gave him, he never finished his plate. What he did eat was choked down, all the while resisting the urge to vomit. He knew he needed his strength, but lacked the energy or the will power to force down more than a few bites at a time. In turn, his lack of energy and will power was made worse by not eating. He welcomed the resulting numbness; when he was alert, he thought too much

As a result, Harry had lost a good bit of weight. That, combined with a growth spurt, left him looking terribly thin and haggard. If he caught sight of himself in the mirror that hung on his closet door, he could easily count each rib and his collarbone stuck out alarmingly. Harry knew he should worry about this, but couldn't find the energy to care. He just pulled on a heavy sweatshirt. 

His Aunt Petunia had taken to giving him funny, odd sort of glances when she thought he wasn't looking. She'd spent the majority of his life pretending he wasn't there, why shouldn't he treat her the same? 

On occasion he'd think back to the previous summer to the night the Dementors came. He and Aunt Petunia had _almost_ seemed to make a connection, but there was no trace of that now. He'd thought of asking her about the deal she'd made with Dumbledore, but quickly pushed the thoughts aside as soon as they would come. 

What difference did it make anyway? Like it or not, he was stuck here. It wasn't like he had anywhere else to go. 

Sometimes Harry wondered if maybe those Dementors did get a hold of him. He didn't seem to have any feelings left aside from hopelessness and despair. Maybe Uncle Vernon was secretly a Dementor in disguise? 

On his second night back, the phone had rung and his uncle flung open his door nearly knocking it off its hinges in his rage. "It's for you," he spat. "Don't tie it up for long!"

Harry wearily answered to Hermione's voice, "Hullo Harry"

"Hermione!"

"Mr. Weasley said you should be allowed to use the telephone. Since the Weasleys don't have one, I'm your contact! They've connected my house to the floo network so I can update them"

Harry felt a flicker of annoyance at being babysat. "I'm fine Hermione," he said automatically.

"You don't sound fine Harry."

"Look, despite being told he has to let me, it doesn't mean Uncle Vernon is happy about this. I just don't have the energy to fight with him right now Hermione, okay? So it would be better if we keep contact to owls, and only send them at night so the Muggles don't have to see." 

Everything he said was true, but it also let him off talking about things he didn't want to talk about. Hermione had a way of pushing and he just wasn't ready to deal with that.

She sounded put out, "Okay Harry, if that's what you want, but—"

"It is. Please," he said firmly.

"I'll write tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Bye Harry."

"Bye."

He grimaced a bit at cutting her off, but it was for the best. He was going to have to push both she and Ron back anyway. May as well start now.

True to her word, Hermione wrote the next day, as did Ron. Judging by the similar tone of their letters, they were using the floo connection to discuss him in detail. This irritated him even further. 

He didn't answer any of their letters, but they kept coming. Something about this warmed Harry's heart a little. They really were the best friends he could ever ask for. The one thing Harry did write as promised was a brief note to the Order every three days, always the same. 

Still here, all is fine.

Muggles are behaving.

Harry

Not long after he'd sent the first two notes, more letters began arriving. In addition to Ron and Hermione, he received notes from Ginny, the twins, Mrs. Weasley and Remus Lupin. All of them said basically the same thing, asking how he was, letting him know they were there if he wanted to talk. 

The twins were comical about it, and they did have a way of making Harry laugh, even if he didn't want to. They never sent individual letters, always one letter from both of them where they would switch off between thoughts and Harry was never sure which one was writing! He only noticed the switch by the different handwriting (and usually different color ink!). Their letters were nearly as confusing as the twins themselves could be and often-made Harry wonder if they did anything without the other. Both did their best to let him know they were thinking about him though, and were there for him. All he had to do was ask. 

Ginny's letters were newsy, and often funny like the twins. She'd easily go on a rant about Ron that would make Harry smile. She was tougher with him than the others, usually ending her letters with something like Don't Sulk! or Speak Up, Can't Make Out That Mumble! This would get under Harry's skin a bit. He did mumble when he was uncomfortable, but it didn't happen _that_ often! He was disgruntled that she called him on it and made a mental note to work on that. 

Mrs. Weasley's letters were a bit gentler and fiercely protective, usually sent with a batch of biscuits or a mince pie. Harry had yet to eat more than a bite of any of it, but the thoughts behind it warmed him just the same. 

Remus Lupin's letters simply sounded sad and made Harry's heart ache. He'd force himself to read them though. 

He read all their letters, and kept them under the loose floorboards beneath his bed so he could read them over and over again. They were the only things keeping him going. 

He didn't want their pity or concern, but he did want the letters. He was sure they'd stop writing when they didn't receive replies and he was terrified waiting for that day to come, but it hadn't so far. Every day there would be a letter from one of them, every day Harry would feel the same amazement and allow his heart a brief thrill before quickly squashing it. They'd give up sooner or later and that was better, right? It was better to push them away, the closer they were, the more danger they were in. He was Prophecy Boy and Merlin help anyone unlucky enough to cross his path. That was all too painfully obvious. No matter how determined he was to push them all away, Harry knew he was fighting a losing battle. He, himself, was his own worst enemy. He wanted those letters, desperately. In fact, he clung to them like a drowning a man. 

The summers had always been lonely, but this one was unbearable. The loneliness was all consuming and he couldn't escape it. He had an unreasonable desire to respond to Mrs. Weasley's letters most of all and couldn't understand why. She pleaded with him to write and his heart ached at the idea of hurting her. A secret, hidden, desire that he would barely admit to himself was that she'd come to Privet Drive and check on him herself. He banished the thought quickly when it came, but it came nonetheless. He wasn't sure why he wanted to see her so bad. He wasn't a little kid, he wasn't even _her_ kid, but the fact remained that he did want to see her and ask if she knew how to stop this emptiness within his heart from taking over completely. 

Harry stopped the train of his thoughts as he entered the yard to number 4 Privet Drive. He had stopped by the home of Mrs. Figg after Aunt Petunia told him Mrs. Figg had asked him to tea. Harry didn't mind an hour away from the Dursleys, so he'd gone over to see her. 

Harry was disappointed to find the house still smelled strongly of cabbage and cats. Mrs. Figg had tried to get him to stay and talk about anything, but soon Harry could tell she was frustrated by his lack of response. He ended the visit quickly, using the rain as an excuse to get back. 

It was getting dark now and he quietly let himself in and went upstairs. He'd skip dinner tonight, he wasn't hungry anyway and was tired of attempting to care about what was going on around him. He plopped himself down on his bed and prepared for another night of endless dreams. 

He'd told Mrs. Figg that he wouldn't go to Grimmauld Place. He couldn't go back there. Harry wanted to go to the Burrow but knew that would never be allowed. By insisting he wouldn't go to headquarters, that would keep the others safe. 

Thinking of Grimmauld Place brought his mind back to where it always seemed to end up, on Sirius. Harry remembered how awful this past year had been when he couldn't communicate with Sirius. The owls were being watched, the floo was being watched, and Harry was being watched. 

He had clung to the thought that maybe he and Sirius would get some time this summer, they could talk about Harry's dad and the disturbing images he'd seen in Snape's pensieve. They could talk about this damn Prophecy and what Harry was suppose to do with that! Hell, they could just talk about girls and what a complete and clueless idiot Harry was on the whole idea of how a girl's mind works! Somehow Harry suspected Sirius might know a lot about that matter. He'd never know for sure though, because none of those talks were ever going to happen. Sirius was gone, he wouldn't be coming back and it was all Harry's fault. 

He felt that familiar tightening in his chest as a lump formed in the back of his throat. "I'm so sorry Sirius," he whispered miserably as he forced his face into his pillow. It was going to be a long, long night.


	2. A Mother Bear

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only and no profit is being made.

****

Chapter Two

A Mother Bear

Molly Weasley bustled about the kitchen of number twelve, Grimmauld Place. She always liked to keep busy when she was upset; it helped her build up her rant. She and her family had arrived at headquarters a fortnight ago, only a week after Ron and Ginny had returned from Hogwarts for their summer break. Now that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was out in the open, and the Ministry had admitted his presence, the war had begun in force. Attacks on Muggles were happening with alarming frequency. The Dark Mark hung in the sky like times past, sending fear and loathing into the wizarding population. The terror was mounting, but, thankfully, they had avoided full-fledged panic.

Molly was doing her best not to dwell on times past. She could vividly recall the terror of the First War and was filled with dread at the thought of going through that hell again. Her family, the Prewetts, had lost several members during the First War and they'd never recovered to be what they once were. Molly had thrown herself into her own family. She had a flock of children to raise and wanted them to grow up as far from the horrors she'd witnessed as possible. But that just wasn't meant to be…

Two weeks ago, someone had attempted to breach the wards at the Burrow, forcing Molly and her children to flee in the night to the safety of Grimmauld Place. None of them were happy about being here, but she and Arthur agreed that it was safest for them to stay. Arthur, Molly, Ron, Ginny, Bill and the twins had all taken up residence, as they had last summer. Charlie was still in Romania, working for the Order but removed from the danger. And Percy…

Molly didn't like to dwell too much on Percy; it made her heart grieve to think he'd chosen his ambition over his family. After an entire year of attempts at reconciliation, he was still estranged from them. Despite the change in stance on Voldemort the Ministry had adopted, Percy stubbornly insisted his family went about things in the wrong way and should never have so openly opposed the Ministry. Percy was too deeply enthralled with Fudge at the moment, and Fudge was scrambling to salvage his shattered reputation.

Whenever Arthur passed him in the halls at the Ministry, Percy always looked away or pretended to be reading whatever he held in his hands. Any owls she sent were returned unopened, and Molly was at a loss for what to do to mend the situation. She could see the hostility in her other children towards Percy. She knew if ever the time came when he wanted to mend fences with his family, Percy would have a much harder time repairing the damage with his siblings. Ron, particularly, seemed to be holding a grudge. None of them wanted to talk about Percy or a possible reconciliation with his family.

Even if Percy ever did go back, he wouldn't find any of his family at the Burrow anymore. It was being watched, however, so she knew Percy hadn't attempted to make contact. Percy never knew his family had to flee in the night, or that his childhood home was now such a target. No, staying at the Burrow was out of the question. So the tattered Weasley family was once again away from home and living at the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix.

So far, they hadn't been able to learn what specifically had been planned at the Burrow that night. Their spies definitely knew Death Eaters had planned the attack to either look for Harry or at least try to determine when he would arrive. She cringed a little as her thoughts turned to the boy she considered one of her own. He'd been through so much in his young life already. The thought that he was suffering alone now made her want to break down and cry.

She knew what it felt like to lose a member of your own family. She knew the pain, the hurt, and the agony of that loss. There was no way Harry should be going through it alone.

She was waiting for Professor Dumbledore to arrive. She was angry with him at the moment. Arabella Figg, the Squib who lived in Harry's neighborhood, had called in with a troubling update after she'd had Harry over for tea. He was very thin and had a defeated look about him. She suggested they get him out of that Muggle house as soon as possible; when she'd tried to talk to him about leaving the Dursleys, he only replied that he would not return to Grimmauld Place. He wanted to go to the Burrow. He'd stay with the Muggles before he went to the Order's headquarters again. This tore at Molly's heart.

Of course, she knew he'd prefer to go to the Burrow to coming here. This had been Sirius' home, and only dark memories would remain for poor Harry. The Burrow had been a source of enjoyment for him. It offered an escape from his horrid relatives, a chance to be a normal kid. For Harry, it was the chance to be part of a loving family, if only for a little while. Molly had known that was what he needed the first time she had seen him alone on platform nine and three-quarters, even before she had known who he was. The neglect nearly radiated off the child. Harry had grown better at hiding it as he grew older, but Molly could still see it there.

She'd asked all of her children to write to Harry and try and draw him out, forbidding them to tell him where they were. He was under enough stress as it was. Ron agreed with her, saying Harry would just blame himself as he blamed himself for everything else that ever happened. Molly knew he'd be blaming himself for Sirius' death, too, but didn't think anyone could ever convince him that it wasn't his fault. His vision of Arthur and the snake had been real, and thank Merlin Harry had acted on that or she didn't like to think what would have happened. Though she would never condone those _children_ leaving school and nearly getting themselves killed in a battle with Death Eaters, she knew Harry's heart was in the right place and how much Sirius death must be eating away at him now.

She was furious with Dumbledore for leaving Harry to grieve alone with his awful relatives. She understood it was for his own protection, but what about his emotional protection? Though she may have had her own issues with Sirius, she knew Harry loved him and in his way, Sirius had adored Harry. It wasn't right, or fair, or just that Harry should have to lose that, too. He'd basically been orphaned for a second time and, despite all her pleas to the contrary, Dumbledore wasn't budging on where Harry was to remain. She suspected there was a lot more going on between Harry and Dumbledore than the old wizard was telling, and she was terrified by what that might mean.

She so wanted Harry and her own children - for she knew they'd follow him - to be able to remain children. They should be worrying about classes, and dating, and Quidditch matches, not Death Eaters, and Dark Lords and hidden prophecies.

It was that dammed prophecy! They'd spent a year guarding it and she still wasn't sure of what it said. She knew it somehow involved Harry, and the thought terrified her. It was obvious to her that Dumbledore cared very much for Harry, and she didn't try to deny it. She could see he was worried when the agents he had tailing Harry reported the boy's listlessness and drawn appearance. She also had no doubt that, regardless of how he felt about Harry personally, Dumbledore would use Harry as a pawn in the greater scheme of things.

What Harry needed was an advocate strictly in his own corner. It was what Sirius had been, and she fully intended to take on that role. Harry needed someone to put him first, and he needed to know there was someone there for _him_, and him alone. What he needed was a parent, but she knew that was impossible. He was too old now to accept anyone in that role openly, but she had every intention of quietly being a surrogate. She already looked at him like a seventh son; she'd just continue including him with Ron and Ginny. When she sent them owl post at Hogwarts, she'd send Harry one, too. Someone needed to step up and help Harry adjust to all that was happening to him.

There was always such sadness behind Harry's eyes that tugged at her heart. She longed to try to erase some of it. She feared what kind of condition he'd be in this year when they finally got him. His time with the Dursleys always left him with such a closed, defeated look about him that usually took a good bit of time and attention to change. This year would be so much worse. She feared that the more time he spent with his cursed relatives, the harder it would be for the Weasleys, his _real_ family, to reach Harry. He'd retreat too far behind his walls with his own demons. Molly was afraid they might not get him back this time.

In all the years she'd known Harry, despite everything he'd been through, she'd never seen him cry. He'd come close after the Third Task, and she knew he'd nearly broken, but still he held it back. It was this, more than anything else they had done, that made her hate the Dursleys. They had made Harry learn not to cry. What his childhood must have been like…but she didn't like to think about that. And so she cooked. Cooking helped. Cooking was something to do; it had a beginning, an end, a clear objective and a set of rules. She continued to cook as she waited for Dumbledore to arrive.

The door to the kitchen banged in and her youngest child bounced up to her, her ponytail swinging behind her as she walked.

"Mum?" Ginny's voice was tentative.

"Hmmmm?"

"Are you crying, Mum?"

"No, no. Just so dusty in here is all. No matter how much this place has been cleaned, the dirt never seems to come out."

"I know, Mum." Ginny's voice was quiet.

"Did either you or Ron hear from Harry today?"

"No, nothing yet."

"I'm worried about him. I just wish he'd send one of us something, anything."

"I do, too, but you know Harry; it's typical."

"He's not all right, Ginny; I know it in my heart. He's not all right at all."

"Well, he won't be able to ignore us for much longer," Ginny said, sounding irritated. "Dumbledore will have him here, and we can all gang up on him if we have to." Ginny bit her lip as if she wasn't entirely sure if what she was saying was true. It warmed Molly's heart a little, knowing her daughter was simply trying to make her feel better.

"I don't know if he'll be here, Ginny. He doesn't want to come back to this place. He told Mrs. Figg he wouldn't be coming here," Molly said gently. She knew Ginny was trying, but didn't want either one of them to get their hopes up.

"So he'd rather stay with the Muggles? His memories there can't be any better!"

"He's grieving, dear; it doesn't always make sense."

"Well, wouldn't it be better to grieve here, with people that actually care about what he's going through?"

"Of course it would, Ginny, dear. I completely agree with you. Unfortunately, it's not me, but Harry, that needs convincing of that."

Ginny turned and left the kitchen, determined, somehow, to make her mother at least feel better about this whole bloody situation. Harry might be in pain, but he wasn't allowed to make her mother cry.

She headed up the stairs, tiptoeing past the covered portrait of old Mrs. Black. Ginny had never met a more horrible woman in her life. _Poor Sirius._ Her mum could yell, but her intentions were always good, and Ginny knew she had her best interests at heart. Mrs. Black was just plain vicious.

She reached the landing where her bedroom was, but crossed the hall and knocked on the door to the room her brother, Ron, was staying in. The room where Harry would stay if he ever made it here.

"What?" Ron's rude voice sounded from the other side of the closed door.

"Ron, can I come in for a minute?" she asked. You could always get further with Ron if you started out sweetly.

"Okay, but make it fast."

Ginny opened the door and entered to find Ron lying on his bed reading a Quidditch magazine. Ron's favorite team, the Chudley Cannons, was on the cover. Even in the photo spread it looked as if they were losing.

"Ron, you haven't heard from Harry today, have you?" she asked.

"Why do you want to know?" he returned, raising his eyebrows in a way that made Ginny want to whip her wand out and hex him into next week.

Ginny felt her temper rising and she fought to control it. Ron had made no secret that he disapproved of her current boyfriend, Dean Thomas, despite the fact Ron had roomed with him for five years without complaint. It was only now that Ginny was dating him that he suddenly had a problem.

Ron's not so subtle hints that he thought Ginny should be with Harry were grating on her nerves. It annoyed her that her heart agreed, even though her head firmly squashed that notion. Harry had never paid her any attention. He wasn't interested; it was time to move on.

She sat down on the bed opposite Ron and bit back the angry retort as she replied, "Because I just found Mum in the kitchen crying about him. She's worried, Ron. She's really worried."

Ron lost the teasing expression and replaced it with one of concern. "I know she is. I don't know what to do about it, though. Harry won't answer my letters, and I don't know what to say to him, anyway. I know how much Sirius meant to him, but I can't say that I know how he feels. I don't know what I'm supposed to say."

"I know. We've been lucky enough never to lose anyone so close. Mum says he told Mrs. Figg that he won't come here, to Grimmauld Place. I hope Professor Dumbledore will try and convince him otherwise, but I'm not sure he will."

"I'm not sure if Dumbledore can convince Harry of anything these days."

"What do you mean?"

"I dunno. Something was off between them all last year. Harry wouldn't go to him anymore like he used to. Then, after everything…after Sirius…I don't know. Harry just kind of closed up. I thought it was strange that Dumbledore never came looking for him, or tried to talk with him. It was obvious even then that Harry wasn't handling everything so well."

"So you think they had a row?"

"I dunno. Something's going on with them though. And Harry's not saying."

"What does Hermione say about it?"

Ron's ears turned red and a goofy smile spread across his face causing Ginny to roll her eyes.

"Oi, Ron, I'm over here. Focus," she snapped in exasperation.

"She says we have to get Harry to open up, that he'll never do it on his own, so we have to push him."

"Do you think that will work?"

Ron sighed as his shoulders slumped in defeat. "I doubt it. Harry doesn't like to be pushed, and he certainly doesn't like to talk about anything to do with how he feels. I think Hermione might just be setting herself up for a fall with that idea."

Ginny nodded glumly, pursing her lips. "Do you think the Muggles are treating him all right?"

"I hope so. Bit mental, they are. Did you know that when Fred, George and I went to rescue him before second year, they'd put bars on his window? Had him locked in the room pushing what little food they gave him through a cat flap on the door."

Ginny shuddered, remembering hearing about that when it had happened. She couldn't believe his own relatives would treat him that way. That they'd treat anybody that way, but especially Harry. He didn't deserve that…

"The Order warned them to behave at King's Cross, though."

"I know; I was there. I hope they listened. Just knowing what Harry has said about them, I wouldn't count on it. His letters to the Order are still coming every three days, and he says he's fine."

"Yeah, but those letters all say the exact same thing, and they are never addressed to anybody. It's very strange."

"Yeah, well…that's Harry. If things were really bad, he'd say he was fine. If things were going okay, he'd say he was fine. If things were going really well, then you'd get some information. All we're getting is that he's fine, and that could mean anything."

"Well, something's got to give. This can't go on all summer. It's not good for anyone, least of all Harry."

"I'll try sending him another letter tomorrow. There's a good article in here about the upcoming Quidditch season; that might perk him up. Was Mum really crying?"

"I can't stand seeing her this way. She's so upset; Ron, I've got to do something," she cried, throwing her hands in the air.

"What? What can you do?"

"I don't know, but I'll think of something." With that, Ginny jumped off the bed and left Ron's room. She crossed the dark, dimly-lit hallway and entered her own room. She'd painted it yellow, trying to brighten it up some, but it didn't really help. Nothing seemed to help; this house just radiated drab. No matter how much they all scrubbed, cleaned, dusted, or painted, the somber darkness still remained. Somehow, Ginny could hear Mrs. Black's ghostly laughter echoing in the hallways over it.

A/N: Special thanks go to my old beta ChaoticK; and my new beta, Mistral, thank you so much for your help in getting me over my exclamation point addiction. (See, I wanted to use one at the end of that sentence but didn't.)


	3. The Howler

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only and no profit is being made.

****

Chapter Three

The Howler

A loud explosion rocked the air as a huge figure of a green skull with a serpent exiting through its mouth rose into the air. Hooded figures ran in all directions, brief flashes of light from the scattered curses flew through the air towards the backs of fleeing witches and wizards. The ground was littered with bodies, men, women and children, all staring blankly at nothing, life washed clean away. Agonized screams filled the air as the curses continued to fly. Suddenly, the scene flickered and changed again. A man in long robes kneeled on the floor of a small, dark room, a slight tremble in his body.

"What have you to report?" a cold voice hissed from the shadows.

"Potter remains with his relatives. We . . .We haven't found a solution to the blood protection as of yet."

"I want Potter brought to me, and I want it done quickly. Captured not killed, though you're free to use force."

"Yes, milord", said Wormtail quickly, trying to back out of the room.

"Not so fast. You need to be reminded of how I value prompt fulfilling of my instructions-"

"No, Master-"

"Crucio!"

Harry Potter sat up quickly, biting on his lip hard enough to draw blood trying to stifle another scream before it left his throat. He was sweating profusely and completely tangled in his sheets. He felt a wave of nausea hit him and his scar flamed again and he knew somewhere that Wormtail was still be punished. Bile rose in his mouth as he raced to the bathroom and heaved. Since he had skipped dinner, there really was nothing to come up. Harry stood weakly and went to head back to his room when he came face to face with a livid Vernon Dursley.

"What the devil is wrong with you, freak?" he demanded, spittle flying from his nearly puce jowls.

"Sorry to wake you," Harry mumbled, trying to steady himself on the wall as he made his way back to his room.

"I will not have you awakening this house every night with your bloody screaming! Some of us actually have to work for a living you worthless piece of. . .Every night you've been here you've done this and I've had enough. Find a way to stop it or I'll stop it for you, boy!"

"Right." _Oh that's bloody brilliant, if I thought you could stop these ruddy nightmares, I'd let you!_

Uncle Vernon seemed to be growing more enraged by Harry's lack of an argument, "Don't you take that tone with me!"

Harry's own patience, already waned thin, was about to snap, "What _tone_ would that be?"

Uncle Vernon slammed Harry against the wall and raised his hand. For an instant Harry thought he was going to hit him and silently willed him to do it, feeling he deserved it anyway. That hadn't really happened since before Harry got his Hogwarts letter, after Harry had other people in his life and aware of his existence. But Uncle Vernon let him go, perhaps an image of Mad-Eye Moody in his mind, and snapped, "Get in your room."

As Harry complied he heard the deadbolt snap into place. "You can stay there until hell freezes over, boy."

Harry slumped down at his desk and rubbed his hands through his hair. It was no use setting off Vernon; Harry only ended up paying for it anyway. Damn, he'd practiced Occlumency last night too, same as always. Why did that dream get in again? Harry was startled from his thoughts as a brown, barnyard owl swooped into his window carrying an ominous looking red envelope. _Who would be sending me a Howler?'_ Harry thought, panicking. He grabbled for the envelope and tried to hold it outside the window as it opened but the sound of Ginny Weasleys high-pitched rant echoed within the rooms seeming to shake the very foundation of the Dursley home.

HARRY JAMES POTTER I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TO THE REST OF US, THAT'S YOUR PEROGATIVE, BUT YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TREAT MUM THIS WAY! SHE'S WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU! YOUR REFUSAL TO ANSWER ANYONE'S LETTERS MADE HER CRY YESTERDAY! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? YOU LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN GOOD HARRY! GET OUT A QUILL AND SOME PARCHMENT RIGHT NOW AND JOT A NOTE TO MUM! YOU'D BETTER LET HER KNOW HOW YOU'RE DOING AND DON'T YOU DARE SAY "FINE", AS YOU'RE A TERRIBLE LIAR AND NO ONE EVER BELIEVES YOU WHEN YOU SAY THAT ANYWAY! GET OFF YOUR ARSE AND FIX THIS WITH HER NOW OR I'M GOING TO MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL WHEN YOU GET HERE, HARRY! WRITE TO MUM!

The Howler promptly burst into flames as both Vernon and Petunia stormed into Harry's room.

"What is the meaning of this," Aunt Petunia hissed in a remarkably good imitation of the voice Voldemort himself had used in Harry's dream.

"Look, I couldn't help it! It was a howler, they open no matter what you do. I had-"

"Do not mention that unnaturalness in this house! I've told you that a thousand times, you wretched freak!" Vernon raged, "I mean it Petunia, I've had enough from thisthis worthless miscreant!"

Aunt Petunia glared at Harry as if he'd somehow arranged this whole thing, "You're to remain in here for the time you spend here, hopefully the rest of those freaks will get you out of our hair soon. If you can manage to keep the noise level down, then you'll have your meals returned to you." With that, the two of them stormed out and pushed the locks on Harry's door back in place. He angrily sat down and wrote a scathing reply to Ginny. She wanted to know how he was, he'd bloody well tell her how he was! Half way through his rant he crumpled up the parchment and threw it in the trash. He'd never send it anyway. Wearily, Harry climbed back into bed and hoped there would be no more dreams. After he fell into a fitful slumber, Hedwig left her cage and retrieved the crumpled up letter from the bin. Without Harry's knowledge, his faithful snowy owl set off seeking help.

Ginny Weasley had slept in and awoken to find yet another rainy day. "Oh that's brilliant," she mumbled, slipping on her dressing gown over her summer nightdress. The kitchen was empty when she arrived so she set out getting herself some breakfast. She was just sitting down with a bowl of porridge when Hedwig swooped in the window, carrying a crumpled piece of parchment in her beak. _That's odd,'_ Ginny thought_, why didn't Harry attach his letter? I hope nothing is wrong._' She grabbed the parchment and quickly began to read

Hey Ginny,

Thanks ever so much for the Howler. Arrived at about 2 AM to the Dursley's endless amusement. Fortunately everyone was already awake thanks to my ritual midnight screaming. Uncle Vernon and I had it out and I really thought he was going to let loose and belt me. Now I'm stuck locked in this dammed room again. So you want to know how I am? I'll tell you how I am! I'm bloody awful and I feel like crap. I can't eat, I don't sleep, I've got these Muggles in my face non-stop, people following me everywhere I go and I feel completely dead to it all. I think maybe the Dementors got. . . 

The letter just stopped there. Ginny was horrified, she hadn't meant to send the letter in the middle of the night and she didn't even think of the Muggles' reactions. Why did the letter just end there then?

"Hedwig, did Harry give you this letter or did you just take it?" she asked, comprehension dawning. Hedwig just hooted and blinked her eyes.

"Damn," Ginny cursed.

Suddenly, there was a commotion in the hallway and Ginny peered out to see what was going on. Mad-Eye Moody was calling for Professor Lupin and Kingsley Shacklebolt, "We've got Death Eaters spotted all over Privet Drive!

Ginny's heart thudded painfully in her chest. Death Eaters in Little Whinging? _Oh Harry, please be okay,'_ her mind whispered, _Be safe.'_

Moody was issuing orders as her father and twin brothers entered the confusion, the look of seriousness on Fred and George's faces seemed remarkably out of place. "We've got Death Eater activity all over Little Whinging, the highest concentration at the opposite end of Privet Drive. They're going for him. Fred and George, I want you to take this portkey directly to the Dursley residence and get Potter out of there pronto," he said as he thrust an old paperweight in the image of a serpent into George's hands. "Don't wait for a signal, just get him and move. We'll ensure the safety of his relatives and get them out if we need to, you two just move with him. If there is any sign of trouble, leave his stuff and go". The twins nodded and each grabbed onto the paperweight and disappeared. 

"Arthur," Moody continued but Ginny tuned him out. All over the house various aurors and other members of the Order made their preparations to head for Surrey. They continued moving out the heavily gated front door as, like Harry's home in Surrey, you couldn't apparate in or out of Grimmauld Place. Ginny's mind was racing. Wasn't Harry supposed to be safe at his relative's house? Wasn't that the reason Dumbledore insisted he always stay with those awful people in the first place? Had something happened to change all that? Ginny again cursed the lack of news from Harry this summer; she wanted to know what was going on. She wasn't really angry with him, she knew he was suffering. She had a wicked temper, she knew this was true, her brothers accused her often enough. When she saw her mum so upset, she flew off the handle and sent that ruddy howler. If she'd taken the time to cool down, she never would have sent it. Harry had been through a lot, far too much for any one person. She knew how much Sirius meant to him. He was an adult that Harry would actually turn to if he needed help, that in itself was amazing. Knowing Harry, he would also be blaming himself for what happened to Sirius. To be alone with that kind of guilt had to be wearing away at him and Ginny had no right to place more demands on him. She was over her girlhood crush on the Boy Who Lived, but she'd never stop caring about Harry. She'd forced herself to move on, dating both Michael and now Dean, but Harry would always hold a special place in her heart, nothing could change that. If friendship was all he could offer, she'd accept that, and as a friend she'd let him know if he was being a real prat!_ Stop it Ginny, let's not get on this again, you just finished forgiving him!'_ Ginny grabbed herself a book and plopped down in the entry hall. This is where they'd be bringing Harry shortly, and this is where she'd be!

Harry was staring at the raindrops falling lightly against his window. He was trying to work on a potions essay but really hadn't gotten very far as his mind kept travelling in directions he didn't want to go. He couldn't stop thinking about the Howler from Ginny. The more he thought about it, it was kind of funny. Here was everyone else tiptoeing around Harry as if he might break and Ginny hauls off and sends him a howler! If it weren't for the fact he'd upset Mrs. Weasley, Harry thought he might actually be able to laugh at it. And laughing at anything at this point would be good! It was nearly midday and Harry was still locked in his room. They hadn't even let him out to use the loo and if they didn't soon, he was going to have a real problem! Several times he'd considered pounding on the door and asking them to let him use the facilities, then he realized that would only make them leave him in here longer. Best to sit quietly and wait. 

Tick tock, Tick tock. 

Time seemed to be passing inordinately slow. His potions wasn't any further along than when he first sat down so he began packing it away when there was some muffled sounds downstairs, then he could hear footsteps bounding up the stairs. None of the Dursleys moved like that! Harry drew his wand and rounded on his door just as it flew open with the sound of "Alohomora!" In stumbled none other than Fred and George Weasley, both looking warily at Harry's rigid stance and drawn wand. "Easy there, mate," Fred put his hands up in the air, "It's just us!"

Harry lowered his wand slightly, but remained rigid, "What did you nickname Percy when he made Head Boy?"

George grinned, "That's an easy one, Harry! Big Head Boy!" Harry lowered his wand and grinned at the twins, "Er. . .What are you two doing here? Hold that thought, actually, I need to use the loo." Moving quickly past the two, he heard one say, "Start packing his trunk!"

When Harry returned to his room, his trunk was packed and Hedwig's cage was perched on top. Both twins seemed agitated and Harry was instantly wary, something was going on. "How long have you been locked in here Harry?" George demanded angrily, "You look awful."

"Yeah, well, thanks. Nice to see you too. What's going on?" Harry asked, sidestepping both the question and the comment while he dug his stash out of the loose floorboards beneath his bed and stowed the items in his trunk.

"We've got trouble, loads of it. Death Eaters everywhere, we've got to get you out."

Harry felt a jolt of fear grip him, here we go again. His mind began to wander back to the Death Chamber but quickly he shook himself and tried to clear his head. Focus, he needed to focus. "Death Eaters, here? But. . . what about the wards? I thought the whole reason I had to come back here every year was that it was safe?"

"I don't know Harry, I'm sure we'll all get some explanations, but for now-"

"What about the Dursleys, we can't just leave them here. This is where they'll be coming and you know it."

"Dad and Moody are on the way, they'll take care of them, but we have to go!"

Harry's mind was racing; he couldn't just escape and leave the Dursleys to face Death Eaters. Though he felt no love or even any emotion at all for his relatives, he didn't want them to die, and he certainly didn't want them to die because of him! He tried to sprint past Fred and George but they grabbed him and pulled him back, forcing a paperweight into his hands before he could stop them. Feeling the familiar tug behind his navel, Harry was sped forth and dumped unceremoniously onto the floor in the entrance hall of Grimmauld Place. It took Harry a minute or two to orient himself. Looking around he saw the covered portrait of Mrs. Black and the bleak familiar surroundings of Sirius's family home. Harry thought he was going to be sick. He saw Ginny enter the room briefly before she launched herself at him and hugged him fiercely, "Are you all right?"

"I don't want to be here," Harry whispered, holding her tighter than he normally would. Suddenly, his world had yet again spun very out of control.

A/N: Please R/R and let me know if you have suggestions for improvements. To all those new reviewers, thank you!!! To those who returned and continued with the story, I can not tell you how happy you have made me! Thank you and I hope you enjoy!


	4. Grimmauld Place

**__**

Disclaimer: I own nothing; it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Four

Grimmauld Place

Images of Sirius flew through Harry's mind fast and furious: bursting through the kitchen door snarling at the portrait of his mother, singing Christmas carols on the stairs, arguing with Mrs. Weasley in the kitchen, whispering with Harry in the basement after his dream of being the snake.

He clung to Ginny as he took deep breaths and worked to master his emotions. Finally gathering his wits about him, Harry _realized_ he was clinging to Ginny Weasley and pulled back as color flamed to his cheeks. "Sorry," he muttered in embarrassment as she took charge of the situation.

Grabbing his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze, she dragged him right towards the kitchen. "Merlin, Mum's going to be so happy to see you for about a half a second before she lays into you about how thin you are. Honestly, Harry, you've got to take better care of yourself!"

He followed her without making a sound while the twins ducked their heads and tried to smother their laughter as they followed behind. He glanced at the portrait of Mrs. Black, but she remained silent behind the curtain.

The kitchen was warmer, friendlier, but still exactly the same and to Harry…it seemed to be mocking Sirius' absence. He fought against the constriction in his chest and tried desperately to hold himself together.

"Harry," Molly Weasley shrieked as she bustled towards him and wrapped him in a motherly embrace. "Oh, thank Heavens you're all right." He allowed himself the time to hug her without pulling away, but he bristled under the appraising look she was sweeping over him. "When was the last time you had a decent meal, Harry? Didn't that talk we had with the Dursleys at King's Cross do any good at all?"

Before he could utter a reply, George said, "He was locked in the room with a deadbolt, Mum. He scrambled to use the loo when we got there so I'd say he'd been stuck for a while."

Harry colored a bit at their discussion and tried to change the subject. "What's happening with the Death Eaters? Why are they at Privet Drive? How did they get past the wards? And what are you lot all doing here anyway?"

It was Mrs. Weasley's turn to try and turn the conversation. "Fred and George, take Harry's trunk up to Ron's room. I'm going to put together some food. Everyone will be hungry when they return, and we'll get your questions answered then, Harry. I don't know any more than you do about what's happening at Privet Drive."

Ginny and Harry moved over to the table. He avoided the chair where Sirius had usually sat, desperately trying not to look at it. Mrs. Weasley placed a plate of biscuits and sweets in front of them as she went about putting together some dinner. Ginny's guilt about the Howler intensified tenfold at George's words about Harry's confinement. She decided it was best to just bring it up.

"Harry, I'm sorry about the Howler," she said, keeping her voice to a whisper. Apologizing to Harry was one thing, letting her mother overhear was an entirely different matter. "I don't know what I was thinking and I'm not sure what possessed me. I never meant to get you in trouble with the Muggles."

"Don't worry about it, I was already in trouble. So, how long have you been here?"

Ginny knew she was supposed to keep this information from Harry. But, he was here now and going to find out about it sooner or later, anyway, so she might as well be the one to tell him. "We've been here for about a fortnight. There was some trouble at the Burrow, so we've been staying here ever since."

"Trouble? What kind of trouble?"

"Someone tried to breach the wards. The alarms Bill installed worked perfectly. We all got out safely and have been holded up here. We used the Extendable Ears to learn that it was some Death Eaters. They finally managed to get in, but Bill's traps gave them quite a run for their money before they succeeded." She sounded extremely proud of her eldest brother.

Harry was stunned. They'd gone after the Burrow. It didn't take a genius to figure out what they were looking for. So, he'd managed to get his adoptive family to lose their home. Why hadn't Ron said anything? What else had they been keeping from him? He dropped his face into his hands and rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses.

"Harry," Ginny said, pausing as if looking for the right words, "it isn't your fault."

Not removing his hands from his eyes, he replied, "Oh, no? Which one of you was Voldemort looking for, then?"

"Well, it could have been any one of us, really. More than half the family is in the Order, and we've made no secret we support Dumbledore. Bill and the twins can be right pains in the arse when they set their minds to it," she hissed as two bright spots of color appeared on her cheeks.

Harry sighed. This was going nowhere. "Where's Ron? Is Hermione here, too?"

Ginny seemed to pause a moment, an odd, quirky smile playing on her lips. "Hermione isn't staying here exactly, but the Floo network is open to her house so she's been here quite a bit. She and Ron went into Diagon Alley with Bill this morning. I suspect they'll be back soon. They've been doing a lot of _studying_ lately."

"Studying? But we don't know what classes we'll be taking yet. Did they get their OWL results?"

"No. I didn't mean schoolwork. More like studying each other," she said, a very mischievous twinkle in her eye.

It took him a minute, but he finally caught on. For the first time, he completely forgot he was in Sirius' home, and a real grin spread over his face, "No. Don't tell me they finally got a clue and I missed it!"

"Oh, don't worry, Harry; you'll catch plenty of it. Rather revolting if you ask me."

Harry was truly happy for his friends. He'd long ago put together the fact that their constant bickering was masking an attraction to one another. But he couldn't help the more childish part of himself that wondered where, or if, he fit into this new equation. This was what he wanted, right? He had to gain some distance from Ron and Hermione for their own protection. It was necessary and part of his plan, so why did it sting so much?

Ginny watched the play of emotions that crossed Harry's face. He always thought he was so stoic but to her his face was quite readable. She always thought it would be fun to get him to play poker. She would bet she could beat him without really trying. It was obvious he was having trouble being back at Grimmauld Place, even without his tortured confession when he had first arrived. His eyes kept darting all over the place and his hands had a slight shake to them. He couldn't sit still, and she decided it would be better for him to be away from the activity usually surrounding the kitchen.

"Harry, you know it's a risky business leaving the twins alone with your stuff. Why don't we go up and check that they're not leaving you any surprises?"

Harry merely nodded as he followed her up to the room he and Ron had shared the previous summer. Mrs. Weasley shoved steaming mugs of hot chocolate into their hands as they passed. Harry found himself drinking it simply for lack of something better to do.

He looked at the picture of Phineas Nigellus, former Slytherin Headmaster, on the wall. It was empty now, but Harry wondered if he was assigned the task of being Harry's minder again. He sat on the bed sipping his cocoa. The twins had come and gone and his trunk was at the foot of his bed.

"You know," Ginny began, biting on her lip, "When we arrived here last summer, the twins tried to prank Sirius." She watched Harry stiffen at the mention of his godfather, but he said nothing and seemed to be waiting for her to continue. "We were all a bit shocked at first to find him here and to discover that he was innocent. But the twins took to him quickly and they tried to get him to eat one of their Canary Cremes. He didn't fall for it, though. When they tried one of their new inventions on me, Sirius came up to me and told me what they were doing. Together, we switched the Belching Banger back to Fred's plate, and George thought that was the funniest thing that ever happened! Sirius loved life, Harry, and he lived it to the fullest. That's how you honor his memory, not by giving in or giving up, but by living. And having a damn good time doing it!"

Harry was quiet for several minutes, and Ginny thought she'd pushed him too far. Then, in a voice so soft it was barely above a whisper, he began, "I know that's what he would want, but I don't know how. It hurts to eat, to think, to breathe, to walk and talk, and to feel. I keep trying to push it away but it suddenly overwhelms me, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with that." Harry had no idea why he was revealing so much to her. Maybe it was the shock of the day, maybe he'd just been cooped up too long. He was sure he'd regret it later.

"You're supposed to let yourself feel it, Harry," she said as she slid off Ron's bed and moved to kneel in front of him. "Burying it only makes it stronger and more determined to get out. Until you let yourself feel the hurt, it's not going to get better."

Her words were becoming distant, and he felt his eyelids begin to droop. His head was getting awfully heavy and vaguely he wondered if Mrs. Weasley had put something in his hot chocolate to make him sleep. Ginny adjusted his head on to his pillow and rubbed her fingers gently through the hair at the nape of his neck. No one had ever done that before, and he found it very comforting. For the first time in a long time, he allowed himself to drift to sleep without feeling any anxiety about doing so.

Harry awoke several hours later to find Ginny gone, but Ron and Hermione sitting on Ron's bed holding hands and staring at him. Shaking the remnants of sleep from his foggy brain, he reached for his glasses that Ginny must have placed on the nightstand, as Ron and Hermione moved towards him.

"Hiya, mate," Ron said, smiling. "How are you?"

"I think your mum knocked me out."

Hermione burst out, "Well honestly, Harry, can you blame her? You still look like it's been ages since you've had a decent sleep! You're terribly thin, Harry, and you've got to eat!"

She looked like she was about to continue when Ron put up a hand to silence her. "Let him breathe, Hermione. Sorry, mate, mum did slip you a sleeping potion. She was just worried about you."

"What time is it? Have the rest of the Order arrived back from Surrey? Where's Ginny?"

"The other members of the Order are downstairs. The Death Eaters gave up without much of a fight after they hit some resistance. They probably figured you'd already been whisked away. Your relatives are fine and weren't even aware anything was happening until Mr. Weasley let them know you'd be gone until next year," Hermione said.

"It's just after dinner, but Mum saved you a plate. You'd better go and eat some of it or she'll have kittens," Ron continued, "Ginny is off sulking in her room, I suspect."

"Sulking?"

"She got an owl from Dean. He broke up with her, the git. Good riddance, I say. What the bloody hell was he thinking, anyway? It's beyond me." Ron growled.

"Ron," Hermione scolded, "you have to admit, from his point of view things were strange. Ginny couldn't tell him where she was, she couldn't meet with him and told him to limit the number of owls he sent. Not very encouraging from your supposed girlfriend, I would think."

Harry sighed, rubbing his forehead. He added the breakup of Ginny's current relationship to his list of responsibilities. _Just great._ She'd been awfully kind to him earlier, too. He'd have to find some way to apologize. "Maybe she can fix things when we're back at school," he said.

"Maybe," Hermione said, though she didn't sound very convinced. "Dumbledore is downstairs; he's waiting to talk with you."

Harry felt a bit of cold dread seep into his stomach. He really didn't want to talk to the Headmaster. He hadn't seen him since that awful night when he'd trashed his office. Harry was unsure as to what his feelings were towards the ancient wizard at the moment. Steeling himself, he got off the bed and said, "Let's go down, then."

Professors Dumbledore, Snape, and McGonagall, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Bill, Fred, George, Moody, Tonks, and Remus Lupin occupied the kitchen. The rest of the Order had long since departed. Lupin jumped up as Harry came in and rushed towards him, wrapping his arms around him in a warm embrace. "It's good to see you, Harry."

"You, too," Harry said, trying to muffle his voice in Remus's robe. He was feeling uncomfortable under everyone's appraising gaze.

Molly jumped up and got a plate for him as he sat at the table. "I hope you're not angry, Harry, but you really looked like you could use some sleep."

Harry nodded but didn't respond; instead, he turned to Dumbledore. "What happened?"

"We are still not sure. Though there were a significant number of Death Eaters on Privet Drive, they never got close enough to breach the wards, which remain intact. If they have found a way to get through them to enter the house, it is still a mystery to us. We are going to be keeping a close eye on the house for the next several weeks, but since they have at least figured out the location, we feel it is safer for you to remain here."

When Harry didn't respond, Dumbledore continued, "I thought it best to update you on what's been happening since the end of term."

Harry saw a sneer form on his dreaded Potions Master's lips and was grimly satisfied to see Snape wasn't pleased by this. He locked his gaze coldly on Professor Snape's face and said, "Right."

Snape could contain himself no longer. "'Right', Potter? Is that all you have to say? I would expect a bit more respect when addressing the Headmaster. Obviously, your arrogance has exceeded even–"

"Severus," Dumbledore said sharply, "that will be all."

Snape glared at Harry, letting him know this was far from over, and Harry glared right back. Before Harry could get another word in, however, an ancient, decrepit old house-elf entered the room. "So, the Potter boy returns," he wheezed. "Back to finish the destruction begun by your traitorous godfather before he met his end."

Harry was out of his seat with a roar, grabbing Kreacher around his neck and flinging him towards the wall as Hermione tried to pull him back. "You lied to me, you son of a bitch! I'm going to rip your foul, lying head off!" He lost his grip on Kreacher as too many other hands entered the fray to break them apart, and the house-elf was dragged from the room. Harry was panting heavily as he turned accusing eyes on Dumbledore. "You said you'd taken care of him."

"I'm sorry, Harry. He was suppose to stay away from you, but you arrived earlier than expected. I'll see to it you don't come in contact with him again".

Harry was far too enraged to be placated by this and too out of control to think about what he was saying. "You. Am I supposed to believe that? Am I supposed to believe anything you say anymore? How much of the truth are you actually giving me? How much have YOU decided I can handle? I don't know what to think, or believe, or, quite frankly, whom to trust at the moment!"

"Harry, you can trust all of us here, you know that. Let's sit down and get back to the meeting." Dumbledore spoke in that calm, soothing voice that was like fingernails on a chalkboard to Harry.

"NO. I'm not listening to this. I don't need to, I know exactly what Voldemort's been up to, as I've witnessed most of it."

Sharp intakes of breath were heard around the table, and Dumbledore slowly closed his eyes.

"If you had taken Occlumency seriously, this wouldn't be happening at all and you know it," Snape spat.

"Yes, and if you'd taken the time to actually teach me something and not used it for continuing a sparring match with a man who's been dead for nearly fifteen years, a lot of things might be different, wouldn't they?"

"You insufferable, arrogant little-" Snape began, but was cut off by an angry hiss from Professor McGonagall.

"Severus, that is enough."

Harry had had enough; he had to get out of this room before he suffocated. "You can all go on discussing and rehashing all you want; it changes nothing. You and I both know how this has to end," he seethed, glaring at Dumbledore before he stalked out of the room. Harry slammed the door behind him, awakening the portrait of Mrs. Black.

"YOU FOUL HALFBOOD! HOW DARE YOU ENTER HERE TO BESMIRCH THE HOUSE OF MY FATHER? YOU. THE DARK LORD WILL FIND YOU AND HE WILL REIGN ONCE MORE TO-"

"SHUT IT, YOU OLD BITCH," Harry roared, fleeing from the portrait.

He ran up the stairs two at a time and passed his own room, not wanting to be found. He burst through a door and slammed it shut behind him. Only once shut inside and looking around did he realize he'd entered Sirius' bedroom. Ginny was sitting on the bed staring at him with wide eyes, as he looked around the room in horror.

**__**

A/N: Special thanks to my wonderful betas ChaoticK and Mistral. I really appreciate all your help and suggestions.


	5. A Shoulder to Lean On

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Five

A Shoulder to Lean On

Harry felt like he'd jumped from the frying pan into the fire. The room looked like it hadn't been touched since _that_ night. All of Sirius' things were still scattered about, right down to dirty clothes on the floor and his cloak lying haphazardly on a chair by the fire. There were several coins lying on the floor beneath the cloak, obviously having fallen from the pocket when the cloak had been tossed there. A hairbrush, some parchment and a quill lay on the bureau and even from here Harry could recognize Sirius' writing. A book lay open on the nightstand, it's cover creased nearly in half from lying open so long. Harry felt like the walls were closing in on him. He took deep, trembling breaths, trying to control the emotions threatening to overwhelm him.

"What are you doing in here?" he choked to Ginny, who sat straight up and unmoving staring at him.

"I wanted to be alone and this seemed like the best place. There isn't much space for isolation here, as I see you've noticed. What's going on Harry? What are _you_ doing in here?

Harry was no longer listening but staring at the desk against a window. There, sitting right on the desk was the other half of the mirror Sirius had given Harry. It was _right there_! If only Harry had thought of it, none of this would have happened. Slowly, as if in a dream, Harry moved toward the desk and reached for the mirror, how could he have been so stupid? Picking the mirror up in his trembling hands, he slowly sank to his knees and gave in to the emotions he had kept at bay for so long.

Seeing his shoulders start to shudder as he went down, Ginny raced over to Harry's side and wrapped her arms around him, "It's okay Harry, just let it out. It'll get better if you let it out," she whispered as she rocked him back and forth. She wasn't sure what had upset him so, or the significance of the mirror, but it obviously meant something to Harry. He was shaking as she held him and his sobs were harsh, soul wrenching, and full of misery. Ginny felt her own eyes well up at the sound of it. Still she held him, and stroked his hair, whispering kind, gentle words that he wasn't really listening to. She heard the soft click of the door unlatching and looked up to see her mother peering in. Ginny shook her head negatively, warning her not to enter. Harry would close right back up if he realized he had an audience. Molly seemed to understand this and she closed the door just as quietly. Ginny had no idea how long they sat there like that, but eventually Harry's crying slowed and then ceased as his breathing returned to normal. Wiping his face, he took a deep breath and whispered, "Sorry," without looking at her.

"There's nothing to be sorry about Harry. I'm sorry I was in your alone spot when you needed it. We'll have to set up a schedule and time our bouts of misery accordingly," she said lightly, not sure how he would respond.

He snorted slightly and finally raised his teary eyes to look at her, "Thanks Gin."

"Not a problem. Have you seen Dumbledore?"

He reached up and used the pad of his thumb to wipe a tear from her face, staring at it in wonder for a moment, then replied, "Yeah. I think I just told off a whole room full of the Order. I don't remember all that much after Kreacher showed up. Snape was being a git."

"When isn't he? You certainly have a way with people, Harry. You're going to have to do something about that temper of yours." 

Harry didn't respond, he knew she was right though, he did need to find a way to rein in his emotions. He'd been flying off the handle at the slightest provocation and he really wasn't even sure why? He suspected it had to do with losing Sirius, he hoped so anyway. The alternative. . that Voldemort was somehow tapping in to his emotions. . .that was something he definitely didn't want to contemplate. That possession at the Ministry scared him, it scared him more than he was ready to own up to yet.

"Kreacher was there? They've been keeping him locked up."

"Well he wasn't locked up tonight and I swear when I had my hands on that traitorous–"

"It's okay Harry, I understand. Kreacher betrayed all of us and I think we ought to mount him on the wall with the rest of his relatives."

"Okay by me."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," he sighed, "I miss him. I can't believe I was so stupid."

"You weren't stupid Harry, you were tricked. Any one of us would have done the same thing in your place. Sirius would have done the same thing."

"It's my fault he's dead, I as good as killed him."

"Don't let me hear you talk like that again! Bellatrix Lestrange killed him, Voldemort organized it, and Kreacher plotted it! You were used as a pawn in all of it! I know how you feel Harry; I once had the same feelings. I felt responsible for what happened to Hermione, Penny, Colin, Justin _and you_! Merlin, I thought I had killed you! But I finally came to accept it was Tom, not me who did those things! He simply used me to suit his ends, the same way he did with you. You didn't kill Sirius Harry, he'd hate to hear you say that and know you were feeling this way! Don't let Voldemort win, don't let Sirius' death be for nothing!"

Harry was quiet as she spoke, but she knew he was listening. She didn't think he quite believed her yet, but at least he was listening. 

"I had the other piece of this mirror," he whispered, holding up the glass in his hand, "It-It's a two way mirror Sirius gave me last Christmas to use if Snape was giving me a hard time. I didn't want to get Sirius in trouble so I stuffed it away and forgot about it. I-I didn't find it again until after Si— If I'd only used it that night. . .It was sitting _right there_!" the last word was ripped from his throat in agony.

Ginny's heart ached for him, how could one person hold up under so much guilt? "Harry, you were still trying to protect him. You can't change the past, but your heart was in the right place."

She watched him shift and knew he was ready for a change in subject. "How come you needed to be alone?" 

Ginny was silent for a moment, not quite sure what she wanted to tell him, "Just feeling sorry for myself I guess."

"Er. . .I'm sorry about Dean. Ron told me."

Ginny sighed, "It's okay, I don't think it was really working anyway. I seem to chase them off at an alarmingly regular rate!"

Harry chuckled at this; he was surprised at how easy he found her to talk to, particularly after breaking down like that. He wondered what she really thought about that. She didn't seem to think any less of him, and it was easier sitting here on the floor with her than facing everyone on the other side of the door, so he stayed. Talking about nothing really, but relaxing and letting all the tension he'd carried with him for so long roll off him as he sat and listened to her ramble on.

Molly Weasley left Sirius' old room and made her way back to Ron and Hermione who were anxiously waiting in Ron and Harry's room.

"Did you find him?" Ron asked urgently.

"Is he okay? Did he say anything?" Hermione said at the same time.

Molly put both of her hands up to quiet them as the twins entered the room, the same questions in their identical eyes. "He's fine, he's in Sirius' room talking with Ginny. I think it best if you give them some time before going in though."

"Why?" Ron demanded. "There is something more going on between him and Dumbledore and I want to know what it is!"

"Ron's right, Mum," Fred joined in, "Harry's not okay and there was definitely something unsaid going on in that room."

"I know that," Molly answered, "but Dumbledore wasn't willing to elaborate further and he said Harry would talk when he's ready. We are all going to respect that," she said firmly, glaring particularly hard at Ron as she did. She looked at each of them in turn then continued more gently, "Look, losing Sirius was hard on all of you, but you've had time to talk with each other, share your grief, and begin to move on. The loss is even harder on Harry and he's been trapped in that awful house and I don't think he's even addressed the fact that Sirius _is_ gone. Being back here at Grimmauld Place is hard for him. It's going to take some time and you're all going to have to give it to him. Be supportive, but you have to remain respectful of the space he seems to need."

"Bloody hell," Ron cursed.

"Language Ron!" both Hermione and Mrs. Weasley scolded.

"What was the deal with Snape," Fred asked, "Something was going on there as well."

"_Professor_ Snape Fred," his mother corrected.

"He was talking about Harry's dad," Ron offered, "Harry never said what it was that happened during his last Occlumency lesson, but downstairs had to do with Harry's dad. Snape always criticizes him in front of Harry. You wouldn't believe some of the things he says to him."

"Nice," George spat.

"Yeah. Well, _Professor_ Snape seems to take it as some sort of cosmic insult that Harry looks so much like his father."

"Git," responded both twins.

"Let's go upstairs then and just see how he is," Hermione urged.

"Give them a little time first, okay? He seemed to be reaching out to Ginny and if she can help, let her," Mrs. Weasley said.

"Why would he talk to Ginny and not us!" Ron demanded.

"I don't know Ron, but he is, so let them be."

"Come on," began George, "let's put together a plate of some sandwiches and drinks and we can all head up there after it's done. Harry never ate his dinner, he's probably hungry. I promise not a trick sandwich on the plate! Wizard's honor."

"Like you've ever had any honor to begin with," Ron snorted, but seemed to accept the idea as they made their way down to the kitchen.

Both Harry and Ginny's heads turned as the door opened and Hermione, Ron, Fred and George all piled in bearing a plate full of sandwiches and crisps along with a tray of drinks. Ginny glanced nervously at Harry, his eyes were still red rimmed and it was obvious he'd been crying. She prayed her fool brothers would keep their mouths shut and not embarrass him. Trying to set the tone, she began the conversation, "Ah, food, just what we needed! I was just telling Harry here how you lot used to tie my dolls by their necks from the tree fort and make me beg for their lives!"

All three Weasley brothers grinned at this as Fred spoke up, "Ahh, but did you tell him how you _always_ managed to see your dolls up there when Mum was in hearing distance? You could walk by them fifteen times a day and care less but if Mum saw what we'd done, what a show you'd put on! You could have won awards, Gin Gin!"

Ginny grinned sheepishly, "Caught on to that one, did you?"

Harry laughed out loud, "You set them up!"

"I had to!" Ginny stated indignantly, "I had six older brothers to contend with! I learned fast how to play my cards!"

As the conversation continued, Ginny felt an upsurge of affection for all her brothers. She'd noticed the concerned looks they'd all given Harry, but not one mention was made of his blotchy face. _They really were decent blokes_, she thought proudly. It was Hermione who kept casting odd glances at Harry then Ginny that made Ginny nervous. She couldn't figure out what Hermione was trying to decipher, but wished she'd be less blatant about it. Harry, too, noticed the furtive glances Hermione kept sending his way, but was studiously ignoring her. He was also aware of all the other eyes in the room watching as he managed most of a sandwich. He knew they were merely concerned, but he also couldn't help that it was grating on his nerves. All in all, he was enjoying himself though, and the sounds of merry laughter rang from the room well into the night. Sirius would have been proud.

When Harry went to take a glass of pumpkin juice, George pushed one toward him, "Mum put a dreamless sleeping potion in that one, but she said to warn you this time. She thought you might need a peaceful night but it was your decision."

Harry hesitated for an instant, then took the glass, drinking it as he listened to the banter around him. His eyes began to get heavy and he felt Ron's arm tugging him up, "Come on Harry, let's get you to bed before the girls decide to give you a makeover or something while your sleeping. Ginny and Hermione might even join them!"

Hysterical laughter answered this but Harry was only vaguely aware as he allowed Ron to guide him back to their room. Ron pulled the covers back on Harry's bed and Harry lay down fully dressed as Ron tugged off his trainers for him. 

"Are you all right, mate?" Ron asked quietly, "I'm here if you want to talk."

"Thanks, Ron. I'm getting there," he whispered as his eyes fluttered shut. As he lay in bed drifting off to a blissfully dreamless sleep his mind kept going back to Sirius' room and how nice and comforting it was to be in Ginny's arms. She was quite pretty actually and he didn't know why he hadn't noticed that before. He'd enjoyed her company and actually drew comfort from it when he needed it. He wasn't exactly sure what to make of that, but he'd think about it tomorrow.

A/N: Thank you ever so kindly to all of those who reviewed, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I've tried to respond in person to everyone I could reach. To those of you who I couldn't contact — thank you! 

Ok, you know the drill, please R/R and let me know! Today is my birthday so no flames allowed on my birthday, LOL! I like this chapter, I hope you do too. I went back and forth on the whole crying issue, since Harry never does, but decided he needed to. Sirius deserves that kind of momentous occasion and it was my way to honor Padfoot.


	6. A Little Unwell

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended. The Chapter title belongs to Matchbox 20. I love that song and it makes me think of Harry's state of mind at this point in the story.

****

Chapter Six

A Little Unwell

As the week went by Harry realized that although it was hard to be back at Grimmauld Place at first, it was getting easier. Harry found he liked to have the company and the awful weight of loneliness was lifting. He still felt the heavy emptiness of loss when thinking of Sirius, but the mentions of his name didn't sting quite as badly and he found himself thinking of the good times too, not just the veil. Moony was also looking better and Harry was surprised to discover that actually talking about Sirius with Moony helped, rather than hurt. It seemed to help Remus too.

Remus had come up to see him the day after the meeting and they'd begun talking. He didn't want to be called Professor Lupin and Harry had trouble with Remus, so they'd settled on Moony and Harry liked that. He somehow felt a connection to both Sirius and his parents by using the nickname. Moony told him how nothing could have kept Sirius away that night. He loved Harry and would have done anything for him. He was going stir crazy in this house and it was only a matter of time. If it hadn't been that night, it would have been something else, Sirius had had enough of being confined. He died the way he would have wanted, with honor, in battle, and not held up hiding behind anyone else. The only thing that would have hurt Sirius more than anything was knowing how Harry blamed himself. Harry still couldn't banish that feeling but it had lessened. This was Voldemort's fault, and he, Harry, had to find a way to stop him. The days went by with games of chess or Exploding Snap, or just talking with his friends. Mrs. Weasley was constantly shoving more food on his plate and Harry did begin to put a bit of weight back on. She constantly would ruffle his hair, pat his cheek, or encourage him to have another of whatever she'd made. He found himself enjoying the attention and even though he was frustrated when she began to treat him too much like a child, he was warmed by it nonetheless. No one had ever done these things for him before and he found it was rather nice. The dark circles remained beneath his eyes, but he'd begun to look healthier than when he'd first arrived.

The nights were still the worst. He was only allowed to take the Dreamless Sleep Potion every third or fourth night and the nightmares in between were brutal. Ron watched in confusion the first night as Harry emptied the trash bin before turning in for the night and placed in next to his bed. He understood later when he was awakened to Harry's screaming and clutching his head in pain. Ron watched as Harry rolled over and used the bucket to be sick upon awakening. These visions occurred more and more frequently as Voldemort's activities increased. Muggle newspapers had begun to carry stories of the strange deaths and unexplained happenings. They were unable to find a cause of death in the increasing number of victims, and at a loss to explain the strange fireworks that appeared in the sky. Rumors of a terrorist threat using biochemical warfare led the headlines with panic over a plague filling the newscasts. Harry vaguely wondered what the Dursley's reactions were to all these events.

Harry was having at least one vision each night; his screaming would awaken a terrified Ron, who would try and rouse his rigid friend or shake him from his seizure while calling for help. More often than not, Harry would be physically ill after one of these visions. He was embarrassed by constantly interrupting everyone's sleep and knew the tired look on all their faces was due to him. He apologized profusely and repeatedly to whoever entered the room and tried to shoo them back to bed immediately. Harry planned to ask Ron to put a silencing charm around his bed as soon as they returned to Hogwarts and were allowed to do magic again. One night, after a particularly bad attack (as Harry had come to call them), he was again apologizing and Molly was exasperated, "There's nothing to be sorry about Harry, you can't help them. I'm just sorry you have to be put through this. Who would ever be upset with someone for having a nightmare?" Harry's withdrawn, downcast expression told her all she needed to know_. Damn those Dursleys to hell,'_ she thought venomously. 

Harry was still dreaming of Sirius falling through the veil too. At these times, it was Ginny who usually entered his room offering quiet comfort. She never said much, just rubbed a hand through his hair and gently soothed him back to sleep. He wasn't sure how she always knew when to come, but she never brought it up so he didn't either. Harry had been avoiding Ginny a bit, still embarrassed about breaking down on her. He really wished he hadn't done that. He hated showing weakness more than anything. She didn't mention it, and certainly didn't seem to be treating him any differently, so gradually he was letting it go. He found his eyes wandering to her more and more often when he knew she wasn't looking. He couldn't quite figure out what it was about her that had changed so. She'd grown up, she wasn't the same little girl he'd met on Platform 9 3/4 all those years ago, but it wasn't something physical. There was a _power_ about Ginny, a sense, a feeling that he couldn't put a name to but found himself being drawn to it like a moth to a flame. She confused yet intrigued him, like a puzzle he needed to work out.

For her part, Ginny was well aware of the intense looks Harry was giving her and she tried to ignore them. She could never figure out what was going on behind those intense green eyes. She liked that he was looking though and was annoyed that she liked it. She got over Harry a long time ago, she wasn't going back to that painful stage of her life. She _didn't_ look at Harry that way! Still, each night as she snuggled closer to him and soothed him back to sleep after his torturous dreams, she couldn't help feel that flutter in her stomach or squash the overwhelming desire to protect him and take some of the pain from his eyes. _But I don't like him that way!_' she'd insist to that annoying little voice inside her head.

It was Hermione, she'd moved into Grimmauld Place the day after Harry arrived, who'd asked her what was going on as they lay in bed in their shared room the previous night. She'd caught the older girl watching her and knew that she, too, was aware of the looks Ginny was receiving from Harry. The two had just settled down and said goodnight when Hermione's voice broke the darkness, "Ginny?"

"Hmmm?"

"What's going on between you and Harry?"

Ginny felt her heart start to beat faster, "What do you mean?"

"He watches you."

"Harry watches everyone, he's always been observant."

"Maybe. He talked to you that night in Sirius' room though, didn't he? About _that_ night."

Ginny had known this was coming, she'd just wanted to avoid it, "A bit."

"About Sirius?"

"He misses him."

"Yeah. How did you get him to talk?"

Somehow, Ginny knew Harry wouldn't want her to give his confidences away, but she also knew how tenacious Hermione could be when she wanted to understand something. "I asked him."

"You asked him? That never works with Harry!" Hermione's voice sounded annoyed and its tone was rising. Ginny remained silent.

"You asked what was wrong and he just told you?" she persisted.

"Yes."

"Ginny, what are you hiding? Why are you being so evasive?"

"I don't mean to be Hermione, I just don't think it's my place to tell you what's on his mind. Besides, I get the feeling that you're annoyed it was me he chose to talk to."

"Don't be ridiculous! I'm thrilled he'd actually admit something was wrong, I just can't understand why he won't talk to Ron and I!"

"I'm sure he will, when he's ready."

Hermione rolled over and pulled up her covers. Ginny could hear the disgruntled way she did this but couldn't think of what else to say. She could see how Harry pulled away from her insistence on knowing everything but couldn't tell Hermione that. She wasn't going to get in the middle of this; she'd finally been accepted into their little group, she wasn't about to start making waves now.

That had been last night and all seemed fine today. Hermione and Ron seemed to be happily making goo goo eyes at each other and Hermione was perfectly friendly with Ginny. She caught Harry's eyes on her again and this time turned to stare right back at him. She saw a blush rise to his cheeks as he quickly looked away. She shrugged and went back to reading her book.

Harry decided he had to do something to get his mind off the puzzle of Ginny Weasley. It had been quiet at headquarters all day and there didn't seem to be much activity in the house. Harry hadn't seen Dumbledore since that first night, but knew he was just putting off the inevitable. While thinking of Sirius was growing easier, thoughts of the Prophesy were getting harder and harder to push aside. Harry always felt on the verge of panic if he thought too much about it and knew he'd have to broach the subject with Dumbledore sooner rather than later. He decided to ask Moony how much he knew and maybe see where to go from there. He wasn't sure where Moony was but headed up to his room, figuring he'd start there. He could hear voices from inside, it sounded like Moony and Tonks, so Harry opened the door and walked inside, feeling his breath catch in his throat.

Moony sat in a chair by the fireplace with a huge grin on his face staring at the other occupant of the room who stood by the window. There, in full living, breathing color stood Sirius, well and alive as could be! Harry let out a gasp as he felt all the color drain from his face. He stepped back against the wall, as his legs give out and he slid down to the floor. He was fighting for air and couldn't see through his suddenly blurred vision. The smile had disappeared from Moony's face and he was at Harry's side like a shot. _Sirius_ was replaced by the face of a horrified looking Tonks, who also rushed over to the two on the floor, "Oh shit Harry, I'm so sorry! I never would have done that if I knew you were there!"

Harry was just staring at her in dull shock, still confused by what just happened. Moony helped him to his feet and walked him over to the bed; "I'm sorry Harry that must have been a shock."

"I-I d-don't understand," he stammered.

"I was just fooling around Harry," Tonks apologized, "I was telling Remus how rare it is for a Metamorphmagus to be able to do cross-gender transformation. There are so few of us as it is, never mind being able to control it to that extent. When I first learned I had inherited the ability; I was suppose to practice on family members, it's easier to begin transforming into those who share similar characteristics. I was telling Remus how Sirius used to get such a hoot out of me doing him and Remus wanted to see. Bloody Hell, I'm so sorry, Harry!"

"S'alright," Harry whispered. In truth, he felt as if he'd just been punched really hard in the gut and he wanted nothing more than to flee the room and the concerned stares the other two were giving him. His curiosity won out however; "Sirius liked to see you do that?"

Tonks smiled sadly, "He thought it was a riot to see a scaled down version of himself!"

"Scaled down?"

"Well, I can change my features to match his, but I can't control my height or body frame. That's why it's difficult to duplicate someone exactly. Sirius said he wished he'd inherited the ability, it would have solved a lot of his problems. The ability runs on my mother's side, though she's not a Metamorphmagus either. I think it's always bothered her that the ability bypassed her but ended up with me."

"It's just you in your family?"

"As far as I know. My grandmother was one, though Mum says not as advanced as me. Mum always used to try and imitate her but never had any luck. She's a Healer at St. Mungo's and she said she's never seen anyone who could transfer as far as me."

"Tonks was telling me how much Sirius would laugh when she'd put on his face, I asked her to show me, that's when you came in. I'm sorry Harry, we didn't mean to upset you. I can see how Sirius would enjoy that though, I'm sure his mind was plotting tons of clever scenarios in which to use your talent Tonks," Remus laughed fondly.

Remus was watching Harry closely, all the color still hadn't returned to his face, "Was they're something you needed to see me about, Harry?"

"Er yeah. I was wondering if I could ask you something?"

"Why don't I leave you to it, then?" Tonks said as she slipped past Moony and out the door, "I'll see you later Remus." An odd look passed between the two of them and it suddenly occurred to Harry that Moony and Tonks had been spending an awful lot of time together recently.

"What can I do for you Harry?" Moony asked gently.

Suddenly, Harry found he didn't want to talk about the Prophesy. His head was aching and his stomach was starting to roil he thought he'd rather just go lie down. "It's nothing Moony. D'you think we could talk about it tomorrow?"

"Anytime you want to talk, I'm always here Harry. I want you to believe that. I'm sorry we gave you such a shock."

"I shouldn't be just walking into your bedroom anyway," Harry grinned as the older man suddenly colored a bit.

"We were just talking."

Harry raised his eyebrows and Moony began fumbling on his desk, "Tomorrow then? Good night Harry."

"Goodnight Moony."

Harry's head was really beginning to throb and he considered asking Mrs. Weasley if she had anything for it, but decided he didn't want to deal with her fussing. He was just going to say goodnight to Ron and Hermione and head up to bed. He poked his head into the living room and stopped in his tracks. Ron and Hermione were lying on the couch, snogging to beat the band!

Harry knew they were together, they'd talked to him about it the day after he'd arrived, but this was the first time he'd actually _seen_ it, they were very discreet around him. Harry stood frozen in his tracks, his mind unable to completely comprehend what he was seeing. He suddenly was very glad they were discreet around him because this was just gross! It was at this moment Ginny entered the room and took in the sight of Ron and Hermione on the couch, blissfully unaware of their company and Harry standing there like a deer caught in the headlights, this was just too good to pass up! "Get up you too, I think you just scarred Harry for life!"

Ron and Hermione broke apart and pulled to opposite ends of the couch. Hermione's hair was in disarray and both their breathing was labored. "Really, you too," Ginny went on, a merry twinkle in her eye, "You have to find some more private places for this. It's revolting to walk in on; I don't want to see it. Do you Harry?"

Harry's eyes were round and wide, he just stood there staring at her as if he didn't quite know what to make of her. Or maybe it was just the situation. Hermione seemed to have recovered as she joined Ginny in teasing Harry, "Oh come on Harry, its not like you've never snogged anyone before!" 

"Yeah," chimed Ginny, "Cho Chang told the whole school about the two of you under the mistletoe."

Harry's face colored as bright as a Weasley, "I. . .Not. . .What? She what?"

Ginny burst into a fit of giggles at the look on his face, "Not the most discreet, that one!"

Harry was really feeling sick; "I'm going to bed. Good night Ginny. Ron and Hermione, continue as you were," he smirked as he left the room with Ginny giggling behind him.

"Goodnight Harry."

"Wands out, d'you reckon?"

"Kill the spare."

"Avada Kedavra."

"He can't come back Harry, he's d–"

Harry was standing in an empty graveyard; fog hung in the air making viewing more than a few feet in front of him impossible. Cedric appeared from behind a tombstone, still wearing the robes he'd worn during the Tri-Wizard tournament. Sirius arose next, followed by his mother and father, each from their own graves. They were ghostly images, not quite real and they circled and circled him, their glares cold and accusatory.

"Why Harry?" Sirius.

"You killed me Harry." Cedric.

"It's your fault Harry." James.

"How could you do this to us Harry?" Lily.

"Noooo," Harry whimpered, desperately shaking his head.

Sirius came closer, right up to Harry's face and Harry could see the decay behind his eyes. The foul stench of rot was overpowering and Harry fought the urge to retch. The others gathered behind him, holding him in place and not allowing him to flee, "We all died for you Harry. It's all because of you!"

Harry moaned and tried to pull away, Sirius kept coming, no matter which way Harry turned he was there, accusing, hating, angry. Suddenly, his blue eyes turned to red and Harry was staring into the evil snakelike face of his lifelong enemy. The scar on his forehead exploded in agony as Voldemort hissed, "I know you're here Potter, and I know you're afraid. You fear for the lives of those you love. You should be afraid. I will hunt down and kill everyone you hold dear until there is no one left. Then I will come for you. You can not beat me, no one can. So who shall it be next, Potter? Whom do you want to lead to their grave next?"

"Harry!. . .Harry!.. . Harry! Wake up, Harry! Come on, you're all right."

Harry awoke with a start, breathing heavy in desperate need to fill his lungs. His head felt like it was splitting down the middle and he held both hands to it, as if trying to keep it together. Mrs. Weasley was sitting on the bed with him, her hands on his shoulders, her eyes full of concern. Lupin stood above them both, next to Ron who was pacing back and forth. Though Harry didn't have on his glasses, he could make out blurs of brown and red by the door and assumed it was the girls come from across the hall. Harry was shaking and futilely trying to keep the contents of his stomach. Finally giving up, he pushed Mrs. Weasley away and once again retched into the bin. When he was through, Mrs. Weasley did a quick "_Scourgify_" with her wand before wiping his mouth and brow with a wet washcloth and gently eased him back on to his pillow. "What happened, Harry?" Moony asked, breaking the tense silence.

"Voldemort. He spoke to me."

"Spoke to you? What do you mean he spoke to you?"

"He knew I was there."

"What did he say?"

Harry's mind was going over the dream and he shut his eyes tightly. The pain in his scar was receding, but being replaced by a searing pain in his heart. He felt the corners of his eyes prickle and he fought to maintain his composure, "Dumbledore. I need to talk to Dumbledore." Harry felt a single tear streak along his cheek and angrily wiped it away.

"We'll let him know Harry," he heard Mrs. Weasley take over. He could sense her glaring at Moony willing him not to press Harry further and was grateful to her for it. He didn't want to talk anymore. He was extremely pale and Molly continued to stroke his hair as his breathing returned too normal. He heard the room clear out and Ron climb back into his own bed. Harry said nothing but waited patiently letting Ron's breathing fall into a deep regular rhythm. Once he was sure Ron was asleep, he sat up and adjusted his pillow to support his back, he knew sleep would not be returning tonight. Voldemort knew he was there. He'd threatened the Weasleys, Hermione and Lupin. They were the ones closest to Harry. There had to be a way to keep them safe! So help him, he wouldn't lose anyone else! So lost was he in his own tortured thoughts, he didn't hear the door quietly open again and Ginny make her way to his side. "Are you okay?" she whispered. When Harry didn't answer she sat on the edge of his bed and began her nightly ritual of running her fingers through his hair, calming him. Abandoning all pretense of dignity, Harry snuggled in close to her and leaned his head into her hand. Too tired to care what she thought, he pressed against her and shut his eyes. He wanted comfort and a human touch, she was offering it and it soothed him. After a few minutes of silence, the gentle feel of her fingers lulled him and he began to drift off to sleep. Right before the darkness claimed him, he thought he felt the soft flutter of a gentle butterfly kiss on his scar.

A/N: Okay, finished this up a day early and I'm off for the weekend! We're staying in a hotel with an indoor pool to watch the SuperBowl, GO PATRIOTS!!!


	7. OWLs

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Seven

O.W.L.s

The next morning, Harry awoke to find an empty room. He furrowed his brow in confusion and fumbled for his glasses. He had never replaced the watch ruined during the Second Task and had no way of knowing what time it was. It was a very rare occasion that Ron was awake before him, however and he wondered how late it was. Harry grabbed a change of clothes and after a quick shower, headed down towards the kitchen.

All the household members were there and gathered around the table, in addition to Dumbledore and Professor McGonagle. "Harry! Good morning, how are you feeling?" Mrs. Weasley asked, ushering him to a seat and placing a heaping plate of bacon, eggs and freshly made bread in front of him.

"I'm okay," he replied, glancing at Ron, "Why didn't you wake me?"

"Thought maybe you could use a bit of a lie in, mate." It was a testament to how concerned all the Weasleys were about Harry's sleeping trouble that even Fred and George refrained from making fun of Harry's late arrival.

"Good morning Harry," Professor Dumbledore greeted him, "I'm wondering if after you've had your breakfast you might join me in the library?" Although it was phrased as a question, Harry knew it wasn't a request. He made to stand up and follow but Dumbledore waved him back, "Eat your breakfast Harry. I wouldn't want to face Molly's wrath if I interfere with her progress in adding some bulk to your frame. I need a moment with Remus and I'll see you afterwards."

Harry colored slightly at Dumbldore's reference to Harry's being under weight, but sat back down and started on his breakfast anyway. Hermione had her head buried in a book entitled, _Advanced Preparation for the N.E.W.T.s_ while Ron and Ginny were arguing over the chances of Ron's team the Chudley Cannons in making the playoffs. "Oh come on Ron, why do you put yourself through this every year!" Ginny sounded exasperated. 

"This is their year Gin, I can feel it! They're due!"

Ginny rolled her eyes. "What about you Harry? Are you excited to get back to playing Quidditch this year?"

Harry blinked, he hadn't really given it much thought, "I dunno, can I? I still have a lifetime ban, don't I?"

"Oh, I'm sure that's been lifted. McGonagle probably burned all that old bat's ruddy decrees the moment she was gone!" Ron exclaimed, "No, I'm sure you'll be back as Seeker this year and the cup is as good as ours!"

Harry looked at Ginny; "Does that bother you?"

"Bother me? Of course not Harry, I told you that last year. The Seeker spot has always been yours. I want the House Cup to remain with Gryffindor as well. I do hope to take one of the empty Chaser positions though. Professor McGonagle is here, why not just ask her about the ban if it will make you feel better."

Harry nodded, "I think I will."

"Excellent," Fred joined in the conversation, "George and I are planning to make it up to Hogwarts for your first game, maybe we can even persuade Angelina and Alicia to join us. Ahh, the memories!"

"I think it'll be hard not getting on that train with you September 1st. You'll have to keep up the prankster image for us, Harry. We can't expect Ronniekins here to carry on since he went and got made Prefect!" George sounded scandalized; "It'll be up to you to carry on our legacy."

"Ron will have much more pressing things to worry about rather than a bunch of tricks," Hermione piped up, "We've got N.E.W.T.s coming up and we all plan on taking them!"

"That's not until next year, Hermione!" Ron complained.

"It doesn't hurt to be prepared! You don't want to start out behind like you did with your O.W.L.s, now do you Ron?"

Ron bowed his head meekly and remained silent. Fred cleared his throat with something that sounded remarkably liked "Whipped." Both Harry and Ginny hid their smirks behind their pumpkin juice.

Harry stood up and carried his cleared plate over to the sink where Mrs. Weasley beamed at him. She really had been awfully good to him since he arrived here. She'd always shown more concern for him in their brief times together than Aunt Petunia had his whole life. Spontaneously, he planted a quick kiss on her cheek and saw her eyes widen in delighted surprise. His cheeks colored and he murmured, "Thanks Mrs. Weasley," as he quickly left the kitchen without looking at the other occupants. He could have sworn he saw a brilliant smile cross Ginny's face and his stomach did a strange sort of flip-flop.

The door to the library was open and Dumbledore was alone, staring out the window. Harry took a moment to stare at the aged Headmaster. Dumbledore looked older than he ever had to Harry. He seemed to be stooped and the air of vitality that usually shrouded him seemed to be missing. His face looked worn and tired, and though his eyes still held their trademark twinkle, it was subdued. Dumbledore looked like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. In essence, Harry supposed, he was. He felt a thrill of fear course through his body. He'd never given the idea of losing Dumbledore a second thought! He'd always seemed so invincible. The sight of him now was troubling and Harry took a deep breath to steady his nerves.

Clearing his throat slightly as he entered, Harry made his way over to the older Wizard. "Ah, Harry, come in. Can I offer you some tea?"

"Yes, please," Harry answered, more for something to do than anything else. After Dumbledore handed him the cup and saucer, he turned those piercing blue eyes on him, "I understand you've been having trouble sleeping?"

Harry nodded, "I'm going to need to put a silencing charm around my bed at Hogwarts or the other Gryffindor 6th years will be failing all their classes in no time, sir."

"That won't be necessary Harry. Let's see if we can do something to ease the nightmares, shall we? Alas, I'd prefer you didn't use silencing charms even if it causes some embarrassment. We need to be alerted in case you're in distress."

Though Harry didn't want to admit it, he had considered this. Maybe they could put a charm around Seamus, Neville and Dean and he could just ask Ron for help. Dumbledore seemed to be reading the direction of Harry's thoughts and he continued, "I think we need to resume your Occlumency training straight away. The sooner you can block Voldemort from your mind, the sooner you can get some rest. What happened in your dream last night that was so upsetting?"

Moony must have filled him in, Harry thought. "It started out just as a nightmare, but then Voldemort kind of morphed in and he spoke directly to me. That's never happened before," Harry's voice grew quieter and quieter and he continued and Dumbledore had to strain to hear him, "He said I could never beat him. That he would kill everyone I cared for before coming for me." Harry didn't want to share the part about everyone blaming him, which was his cross to bear.

Dumbledore nodded solemnly, "This is nothing new Harry. You and your friends are protected at Hogwarts. The Weasleys and Remus are protected here, we are all taking precautions."

Harry turned tortured eyes to his Headmaster; "Precautions don't always work."

"No, Harry, they don't. This is a war and there are no guarantees. Our first order of business is to work on Occlumency. I will be stopping by here every other evening and we'll continue your lessons. I'm also going to arrange for some extra Defense lessons after you've returned to school."

"You're going to teach me?"

"Unless you'd prefer to continue with Professor Snape?"

"No!" although Harry was having his issues with Dumbledore at the moment, he was infinitely better than Snape; " I'll work with you. It was a disaster last year with Snape."

"_Professor_ Snape, Harry."

Harry locked his cold green eyes on Dumbledore's blue, "I understand that you trust him, Professor, but I _don't_. I've yet to see a reason to."

"Fair enough Harry, but when at school, you will show him the proper respect of a Hogwarts teacher. It is not my place to reveal any of his history with you, but I do have my reasons for trusting him. These reasons are solid. He can not escape his past, but he's certainly made a lifetime of trying to make up for it."

Harry remained silent, if this was Dumbledore's idea of making up for past wrongs maybe he didn't pay enough attention to Snape's classes! Shaking his head and getting back to Occlumency he asked, "If Voldemort can plant images in my mind, can the reverse work as well? Is there a way to teach me how to plant something in his mind?"

"No. Voldemort is far too skilled and has too much experience with Legilimency to fall for that," Dumbledore sighed, "We need to teach you to block him out. We're going to focus on protection before we can formulate a plan for attack."

All the pent up fear and anger seemed to explode out of Harry like a volcano; "He's more skilled and experienced than me with everything! Bloody Hell! How am I suppose to defeat him? I saw you fight him at the Ministry, it was amazing. You both were doing things I didn't even know could be done let alone how. How can I beat him? You say that I'm the one in this Prophesy, but you've also always said it's our choices that define who we are! Where is my choice in this? I don't want it! I don't want any of it! So in order to live, I have to kill! I don't want to murder anyone any more than I want to die!"

"You do have a choice Harry! Will you stand and fight or give up? What choice did Remus Lupin have when bitten by a werewolf as a child? He had the choice of taking the Wolfsbane and leading a productive life, or turning to a life of violence as many werewolves do. Mad Eye Moody, he had no choice in losing his leg, but he did have the choice of attaching his wooden limb and carrying on or becoming an invalid bound to a chair. Life hands us each our own situation, how we deal with it is our choice. I won't deny Harry that life has been cruelly unkind to you. Still, how you chose to live with the cards you've been dealt is entirely up to you. You do have power, and a strength he underestimates. He may have more experience, but this is why we need the time to give you to learn. You have to put all your energy into learning this and blocking out these visions. You've got to let go of your anger, Harry."

Tears of frustration burned behind Harry's eyes and Dumbledore was surprised to see this uncharacteristic display from Harry, "I'm trying," he whispered, "It won't stop."

"Let me see if I can help you with that. Can you do that Harry? Do you think you can try and trust me again?"

Unable to make his voice form the words, Harry merely nodded. They began by some mind clearing techniques, almost like meditation. Dumbledore was, by far, a more patient and gentle teacher. Dumbledore seemed perturbed Harry was unaware of any techniques at all for clearing his mind. The more Harry took in, the more the twinkle had disappeared from Dumbledore's eyes. It boosted Harry's confidence slightly to see his Headmasters annoyance at Harry's former Occlumency teacher. After about an hour of practice, he asked if Harry was ready to try and practice?

Feeling very apprehensive, Harry nodded. Dumbledore aimed his wand, giving a slight nod, and said, "Legilimens." At first, Harry merely concentrated on keeping his mind blank by focusing on an object on the wall, the room swayed and blurred as he fought against a pushing inside his skull. Soon, the effort became too much and he felt his mind drift as images began flashing in front of him. Ron falling unconscious on a giant chessboard. Ginny lying motionless in the Chamber of Secrets. Uncle Vernon raising his fist as they argued by his car. A Hungarian Horntail dragon whipping its tail in fury. Next he was back at the Department of Mysteries; Bellatrix Lestrange sent a beam of red light towards Sirius, who seemed to fall in slow motion back through the veil. Dumbledore lifted the curse instantly and Harry fell to the ground, shaking violently. He kept his eyes screwed shut and choked, "Enough."

Dumbledore gently helped him to a chair, "Yes that's enough for today Harry. You definitely showed some progress and succeeded in blocking me at first. I want you to keep practicing these exercises and I'll return the night after tomorrow. We'll give you a day in between to practice and recover."

Harry, his eyes still closed, nodded mutely. "Have you thought about the D.A. at all?" Dumbledore asked.

"What about it?"

"Will you be continuing it this year?"

"I dunno. Do we have a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher yet?"

"Indeed we do. Diana Trent is a former auror. She's been living in the United States since the end of the first war. Remus is an old acquaintance; you can ask him about her. She has agreed to take on the position. However, I think you should consider continuing with the D.A. It could be a school club and you could get a teacher to sponsor it, if you'd like. You don't have to answer now, but think on it Harry."

Harry nodded. Did he want to continue with the D.A.? He had enjoyed it; it was one of the only bright spots from last year. At the moment, his head ached and all he wanted was to lie down for a while. As he left the room, he ran right into Professor McGonagle. "Goodness Potter, do watch where you are going!"

"Sorry, Professor."

"Are you all right Potter?" Harry could see the trace of pity on her usually stern face and he instantly pulled back from her, "Fine. Professor McGonagle, am I allowed to play Quidditch this year or will the ban be upheld?"

"I wanted to talk with you about that Potter. No, the ban is indeed lifted. In fact, how would you feel about captaining the Gryffindor team?"

"Captain?"

"Well, I've offered the position to Katie Bell, as the senior member, but with her N.E.W.T studies, she's declined. You are the next senior member."

Harry allowed his heart a brief thrill, _Captain of the Quidditch team_! All too quickly, reality swept down upon him. He had to take Occlumency lessons, extra defense lessons, and possibly the D.A, how could he possibly manage it all. Knowing the other things were more important, Harry sighed heavily. "I'm sorry Professor, but I think I may be over-committed as it is, I'm going to have to turn you down. I think Ron would be an excellent choice though. He knows everything about Quidditch and really is a decent strategist."

"I'll take that into consideration. I'm sorry Potter."

"Me too," Harry sighed wearily, heading up to his room to lie down for a few peaceful moments uninterrupted. 

Harry was awakened what felt like just a few minutes later by Ginny tugging on his hand, "Come on, Harry, wake up! The letters from Hogwarts have arrived; your O.W.L results are here. Hermione is in a right state and if you don't get down there quickly, we're going to have to give her a calming draught!"

Harry was trying to orient himself. He didn't much care about the O.W.L. results; it wasn't like there was a specific one for defeating a Dark Lord. But he did like the feeling of Ginny's hand in his and so he procrastinated a bit, trying to keep her there longer. If anyone called him on it, Harry would deny it. But to himself he could admit that there was something about Ginny Weasley that just made him happy. Happy was a rare and very good thing these days, and he'd take it when he could get it.

"I'm coming," he laughed as Ginny nearly pulled him off his feet, "my, you're tenacious."

"You have no idea!"

Entering the kitchen, they found Ron and Hermione sitting with Mrs. Weasley and the twins. Ron and Hermione each had an unopened envelope in front of them with the Hogwarts seal emblazoned on the front.

"Harry! Our letters have just arrived," Hermione was so excited she couldn't sit still, "We waited to open them until you came down!" She nearly threw an envelope at Harry while Ron more gently handed one to Ginny.

"What are you two doing home so early?" Harry asked the twins.

"Lee is closing the shop for us tonight," George replied, "We've got dates!"

"Yep," continued Fred, "I'm taking Angelina to see the Weird Sisters and George is bringing Katie. It's almost like a reunion of our old team! We tried to get in touch with Oliver but he's travelling with Puddlemere."

A loud squeal broke into the conversation as Hermione could no longer contain herself and tore open the Hogwarts letter. "Now this is just not right! There should have been special consideration given to that Astronomy test! After all, there were extenuating circumstances! I can't believe they didn't take that into account! It just isn't right!"

Giving up on getting any kind of clear answer out of her, Ron merely grabbed her letter, "Hermione, you got twelve OWLS with an overall grade of Outstanding. In fact, the only test you didn't get an O on was Astronomy and that was an E! This is brilliant Hermione!" He leaned right over and kissed her, stopping her stewing instantly.

"How did you do?" she asked as she took his letter without waiting for a response, "Eleven! Ron, this is wonderful!"

"Yeah, overall grade is just Acceptable though."

"Future employers won't look at the overall, just the number of OWLS," Ginny said, earning a glare from both her mother and Hermione, "Congratulations Ron, eleven is brilliant!"

Rons ears went red as he beamed at his sister. "How'd you do, mate?" he asked Harry.

Harry shrugged; he hadn't opened it yet. Ginny grabbed it with exasperation and shoved the letter in his hands. It read:

Dear Mr. Potter:

Enclosed please find the results of your O.W.L.s:

SubjectTheoryPractical

DivinationAA

AstronomyN/AA

PotionsEO

HistoryDN/A

CharmsEE

TransfigurationEE

DADAOO*

Total Score: 11 Overall Rating: Exceeds Expectations

* Honorary Distinction

Congratulations Mr. Potter, you have done very well. Please select the appropriate course for your NEWT levels and return the enclosed form to me.

Sincerely,  
Minerva McGonagle

Deputy Headmistress

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

"You got eleven too Harry, with an overall of Exceeds Expectations and an Honorary Distinction in Defense Against the Dark Arts, well done!" Ginny smiled brightly at him. Although Harry had said he didn't care, he found himself quite proud of that smile Ginny gave him and thought that alone was worth it.

"Honorary Distinction? Did you really Harry? According to Hogwarts: A History that means you scored in the top 10 overall on that exam. Did it say what your score was exactly," Hermione asked. Although she was trying to cover, it was obvious to everyone she was feeling a bit put out by Harry beating her.

"Well aren't you all just a bunch of bright little students! I don't know Harry; I expected it from our Prefects here, but you! I'm not sure you'll be able to carry on in the way an investor of Weasley Wizarding Wheezes should. Eleven OWLS, really, do you think you'll be up to the task of taking up where we left off?" Fred asked sadly.

"If not, I'll help him," Ginny added, "Looks like I didn't make Prefect," she said as she shook her own letter revealing no shiny Prefect badge.

"That's our girl Gin!" George exclaimed, "Knew you had it in you!"

"Oh Ginny," Mrs. Weasley exclaimed and Ginny winced, "Being a Prefect is something to be proud of. You shouldn't have let these two hooligans intimidate you!"

"Intimidate her? Mum, how long have you been in this family? Ginny is the one who has always intimidated the rest of us!" Fred yelled hotly.

"Ron," Hermione broke in, "How did you manage to get an Exceeds Expectations on your Divination Practical Exam? I thought you said you made it up!"

"I did! Most of it I was just joking."

Harry remained quiet through most of this exchange. He found himself staring at the History of Magic grade. He didn't pass that exam; this was where the vision of Sirius first reached him. He cringed at the memory of how Voldemort tricked him and silently vowed that it would never happen again. He would somehow find a way to protect the people here in this room, and to never let Voldemort use him in that way again. He was going to learn Occlumency, no matter what it took. He was done being used, it was time to take control and do whatever it took to come out of this alive. He wasn't going to lose anyone else.

A/N: Hello all! Once again, thank you so much to those of you who left reviews, I really appreciate them. I've tried to reply to everyone I could but if you didn't hear from me — THANK YOU! Please continue to R/R as it really helps!

To those of you who shared my SuperBowl preference, we had a great time, despite the game being a nailbiter. I think I prefer when it's a blow out! LOL! To those fans of the Panthers, great game you guys; it could have gone either way!


	8. Sweet 16

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Eight

Sweet 16

Harry was able to take the Dreamless Sleeping Potion the night the OWL results had arrived; therefore, he'd slept wonderfully. He stretched lazily, unwilling to open his eyes just yet to start another day. He could hear Ron's snoring from across the room and knew his friend wouldn't be up for several more hours. He smiled listening to Ron; his snoring really had gotten worse as he got older. Just as Harry was considering rolling over and trying to fall back to sleep, the door burst open and Hermione and Ginny entered the room. Hermione wore a bright pink dressing gown and her hair was pulled back from her face. Ginny's dressing gown was a pale blue and tossed loosely over her yellow pajamas. Both girls had brightly wrapped packages in their hands. "Happy Birthday Harry!" they chorused.

Harry blinked at them in surprise, _birthday_? Today was July 31st, his 16th birthday! Harry had been so wrapped up in his other problems; he'd completely let it slip his mind. He'd never spent a birthday away from Privet Drive, and his birthdays there were always low-key, to say the least. The idea of spending the entire day with his friends pleased him and he couldn't help the slow, joyous smile that crossed his face. Both Ginny and Hermione were happy to see that smile; it had been a long time since they'd seen Harry so happy.

"Oi Ron, wake up," said Ginny, taking a pillow and tossing it across the room at her still snoozing brother, "You're missing your best mate's birthday!"

Ron sat up quickly, his head turning from side to side in alarm, "Whasamatta?"

Hermione giggled and went and sat on the edge of his bed, ruffling his sleep-worn hair, "It's Harry's birthday, Ron, wish him well."

Ron started rubbing his eyes, obviously not thrilled to have been woken up, "Happy Birthday, mate," he grumbled.

"Thanks," said Harry, "I lived another year."

All three of the rooms other occupants looked at him sharply. "That's not funny Harry!" Hermione scolded.

Ginny sat on the edge of Harry's bed, "Way to kill a mood, sunshine!"

Harry couldn't help but smirk at the sarcasm, he also couldn't help the way his eyes kept being drawn to the neckline of Ginny's dressing gown, which wasn't fastened at all securely and the creamy white skin of her neck was visible above her pajamas. Harry kept trying to force his eyes upward, but they seemed to have a will of their own! What the bloody hell was going on with him over Ginny?

Ron also noticed where Harry's attention was focused and fought hard to cover his grin. Though most everyone thought Ron to be unobservant and blissfully unaware of those around him, he actually noticed a lot. He noticed, he just usually didn't acknowledge that he'd noticed. He'd noticed the furtive glances Harry had been casting at Ginny all week. He'd also noticed the ones Ginny shot back that Harry was unaware of. He was also perfectly well aware of Ginny sneaking into their room each night and comforting Harry after his nightmares. Even though he wasn't about to openly condone the idea of Ginny being in Harry's bed, he was glad she was able to find a way to help him. He'd heard Harry calling for Sirius in his sleep and Ron wished he could do something to ease his friend's pain. Harry would never accept that kind of comfort from either Ron or Hermione, nor show that kind of vulnerability to either of them. If Ginny could help him, and Harry was willing to let her, Ron was grateful.

Ron wasn't stupid, nor was he naïve. There was something going on between his sister and his best mate, and no one could be happier about it than Ron. He knew Ginny had never really gotten over her crush on Harry, no matter what she said. He also knew Harry desperately needed someone in his life to care about him, care about him more than a friend could. Ron still kicked himself when he thought about the fight he and Harry had before the TriWizard tournament. He had let jealousy and petty envy blur his vision. Harry had never asked for any of the attention given to him, and truth be told, he hated it. Ron should have never doubted that. Harry had never asked for an apology and Ron was going to make sure he'd never need one again. Maybe it was just the fact that Ron was so happy snogging Hermione senseless that he wanted everyone else to be happy too! Too many bad things had happened to Harry; even his first experience with kissing wasn't exactly good! _Snogging should be a good thing_, Ron thought smiling goofily. Shaking his head slightly, Ron forcibly dragged his thoughts away from the direction they were headed. No one deserved a good snog more than Harry did, and Ginny deserved something in return for her endless patience with a slow-on-the-uptake Harry. Ron was aware he was one to talk, it certainly had taken him long enough to get over his own nervousness and admit he had feelings for his other best friend, but now that he had, he knew he was a fool for being so thick for so long! Harry certainly hadn't passed on the opportunity to poke fun at Ron over it, now it was Ron's turn to watch Harry stew and try to figure things out.

Both Harry and Ginny had been hurt by Vol-Vol- by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, far more than the rest of them, and Ron firmly believed that they were the ones who could help each other deal with their traumas. Ginny was his little sister and he couldn't think of a worthier match than his best friend. Harry could be moody, closed-off, and downright difficult at times! He couldn't think of anyone more stubborn than Ginny, who would be able to handle Harry and rein him in when needed. _Yes_, thought Ron, _this was going to be interesting_.

"I mean it Harry," Hermione was saying, "that's not the kind of thing to joke about! You're 16 years old, you have a long, wonderful life ahead of you!"

Harry gave her a look that for an instant held such an intense pain and raw sorrow that it nearly took her breath away. The shadow that fell on his face lasted only a brief moment before he covered it again but the looks on both Ron and Ginny's faces said they had caught it too, Harry was hiding something.

"Harry," Ginny began tentatively, "Is anything wrong?"

"You know Harry," Hermione continued, "If you ever need to talk, any one of us is always here and happy to listen." She said this last part while pointedly staring at Ginny, including her in their group. Ginny's heart swelled at these words; she'd always felt like an outsider looking in when they would get together. Being included meant the world to her.

"I know, you've all been great," Harry replied, also pointedly including Ginny in his gaze, "It's nothing". 

Ginny was sure it wasn't "nothing," but she was also sure Harry wasn't going to tell them more now. She knew she was going to have to lighten the mood or she would be the one to break down and cry, "Mum wanted to have a big party, but with security and all. . .we couldn't really do that. The rest of the Order will be stopping by and I know Fred and George have some surprises planned."

"Thanks for the warning."

"We asked if we could get just Neville, Dean, and Seamus to stop by, but no go," Ron added.

Harry's brow had creased momentarily at the mention of his roommates, "Neville would have been okay, but it's best to keep things quiet from the others. Even with the change in stance on Voldemort, I think the Order still would like to keep information about them quiet."

Ron was nodding, "Yeah, you're probably right. We don't know how much we can trust Dean anyway." Ginny rolled her eyes in exasperation as Ron continued, "Seamus would be all right though."

"Yeah, until the next Daily Prophet article calling me a nutter comes along."

"He apologized for that Harry, he doesn't think that anymore."

"He's lived with me since 1st year Ron. He should know me for me by now, not what some article in the paper says!"

Ron was stunned into silence, he didn't know Harry was still harboring ill feelings about the way Seamus had treated him the previous year. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't really blame Harry for it. Ron himself probably would have used his fists on a whole lot of others besides just Malfoy if he had been in Harry's shoes last year. Looking at his friends face, he could see Harry was more hurt than angry and he felt a sudden surge of annoyance towards Seamus Finnigan, much the same as the one he was feeling towards Dean Thomas, "Okay, so no roommates for a party. It'll be more fun with us anyway!"

"Let's get some breakfast, I'm sure Mum's prepared a feast," said Ginny. 

As they started downstairs, Harry paused a moment and put a hand on Sirius' door. _There would be no birthday greeting from Sirius this year_, he thought sadly. Noticing the sadness on his face, Ginny tentatively reached out and touched his hand. Without really thinking what he was doing, Harry turned his palm face up and clasped her fingers. She squeezed his hand reassuringly and pulled him along while a singsong voice in her head kept repeating, _I'm holding Harry's hand! I'm holding Harry Potter's hand!'_

Harry was lying on his bed a few hours before the party was set to begin running through the events of the day in his head. It had been spent much as any other, with chess, gobstones and some laughter. Ron had told everyone that he was to be the new Quidditch captain. He seemed awkward about it and Harry knew Ron was worried about Harry's reaction and his ever-present feelings of inadequacy were surfacing. Harry put a huge smile on his face and was very encouraging, which pleased Ron. Harry noticed both Ginny and Hermione giving him odd, appraising sort of looks, but he had refused to meet their eyes. Even though Harry would love to be captain of the Quidditch team, he really believed Ron would be better at it. There was no way Harry would have the time Ron could devote to it, and it was what Ron had pictured in the Mirror of Erised all those years ago. That, and being head boy. Ron was a Prefect; he was half way to realizing his innermost desires. Harry's thoughts continued to ponder that mirror. He had seen his family when he'd looked at it, he wondered if that is what he'd still see today? Maybe that was half his problem, Ron at least had the common sense to desire something attainable!

Harry was in a bad mood and he couldn't shake it. It started that morning staring at Sirius' doorway and his thoughts never seemed to go much further than that today. It didn't help when Moony had pulled him aside and informed him that both he and Moony had been named as the sole heirs to Sirius' estate. All the Order members had active wills and Sirius had been no exception. He'd left the entire Black fortune, including this house, to Harry and Remus. Moony said they should let the Order continue using the house as headquarters and Harry merely agreed. He would have agreed to anything just to get out of that room and stop talking about it. Somehow, the will made it all so much more real and . . .final. Sirius was really dead. Harry swallowed hard against the lump in his throat. He knew that. He'd known it all along, but this, somehow, this made it forever. Harry didn't want this house, he _hated_ this house with all it's stupid portraits and gloomy rooms. It had been Sirius' prison; just another one in his life and Harry would rather see it burned to the ground. He didn't want that money, he didn't need it and it was just another reminder of how wrong everything had turned out. He didn't want the money, the house, or any of the things in it, he just wanted Sirius. But some things were just never meant to be

Moony seemed to understand Harry's disgust, but he gently reminded him that if Harry refused, the estate would probably end up with the Malfoys, or worse, Bellatrix Lestrange herself! Harry would never allow that to happen! He'd asked Remus to take half of his share and have it transferred to the Weasleys account. He knew they would fight him, but he had no intention of backing down. They deserved it, they had been more responsible for raising him than the Dursleys and this was something good Harry could actually do for them. He wasn't about to let them take that away for pride's sake.

Harry didn't think Moony was any happier about the will than Harry was, though he didn't say anything. Moony never gave much away. There were several times Harry would have really liked to ask him some things about his parents, but he held back. Moony seemed so reserved and reticent to share anything. Harry just wasn't sure how to breech that wall, or even if he should. He certainly was harder to approach than Sirius had ever been. Harry worried that maybe Moony really blamed him for the loss of his best friend?

All these thoughts were storming around in Harry's head and giving him such a headache that he'd lain his arm across his eyes, leaning his forehead into the crook of his elbow. He hadn't noticed the door open, or Hermione enter until she sat beside him.

"All right Harry?"

"I'm fine, just a little tired."

"What's going on with you Harry," Hermione asked quietly.

Harry kept his eyes closed, "How do you mean_?" Either must die at the hand of the other. . ._

"I think there is something your not telling us, something that seems to be really bothering you. You can tell us anything Harry, we're all here for you," she said earnestly.

"I know that Hermione. You guys are the best friends I could ever ask for_." For neither can live while the other survives. . ._

"But your not going to tell me?"

Harry was quiet for a long time, Hermione thought he wasn't going to answer at all, than finally he said, "No." But it was an agonized whisper full of emotion and despair. It set her nerves on edge and her ever-inquisitive nature into overdrive.

"Why not? Why so many secrets? Does this have anything to do with Sirius?"

Harry's eyes flew open wide at the mention of his name. His feelings for Sirius were too raw at the moment to get into now, "No," he ground out, "it has nothing to do with Sirius or my saving people thing.' Just let it alone Hermione!"

Hermione looked at Harry, her face stricken, "Harry, I didn't mean that to hurt you!"

Harry felt the corner of his eyes start to prickle dangerously. There was _no way_ he was going to break down in front of her too, this just wasn't going to happen! What the hell was wrong with him anyway? "Drop it," he choked, "Please. I can't do this now. I'll tell you when I'm ready, but not now."

Hermione could see him fighting to hold his composure, and that scared her more than anything did. Harry had always kept his emotions in tight check, carefully guarded. If he was this close to losing control, whatever it was that was bothering him was worse than she thought. There was nothing to be done than wait him out though, "Okay," she leaned over and hugged him quickly before disappearing from the room. 

Harry lay back down on his bed and groaned, he didn't mean to upset her. For crying out loud, it was his job to save the wizarding world, he shouldn't have to comfort them because of it too! That wasn't fair and Harry knew it, but he didn't much care at this point. He had to do something to change his attitude before the party so he grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the shower.

Mrs. Weasley had gone all out and there was more than enough food for a small army. After a festive dinner loaded with all of Harry's favorite things, the small group entered the sitting room. It was decorated with a number of items from Fred and George' shop and everyone in attendance was slightly leery of entering the room. This caused no small measure of delight from the shops' proprietors. The party consisted of all the Weasley family members staying at Grimmauld Place, in addition to Moony, Tonks, Alastor Moody and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Mundungus Fletcher made a late appearance and could be seen huddling in the corner with the twins. Molly Weasley was keeping a close eye on that situation.

Tonks and Remus sat on the couch, deep in conversation while Bill Weasley was in the midst of a brutal chess match with Moody. Ron was paying close attention to the match while Hermione absentmindedly kept peering over at Moony and Tonks, a knowing smile on her lips.

It was Ginny who had captured Harry's attention. She wore a pair of faded Muggle jeans and a simple green T-shirt. The T-shirt, however, must have been old for it was slightly too small and would reveal a thin band of skin on her abdomen each time she moved. Harry was mesmerized and couldn't take his eyes off her, waiting for each time her belly button would appear. He began to think she was doing it on purpose, knowing the effect she was having on him! _There it went again!_ Harry felt a slight twinge in his shorts and shifted uncomfortably.

What in the name of all that was magic was going on? He remembered having similar feelings for Cho Chang before he'd actually got to know her, but this was different_. This was Ginny!_ She was a friend. She was Ron's sister! She was part of the family who had taken him in as one of their own, she was NOT simply an attractive girl. He should not be feeling these things when he looked at her.

The extent of Harry's knowledge on the facts of life came from overheard conversations between Ron and his other roommates. Harry wasn't entirely sure if everything they said was accurate to begin with. He knew that all of them had had fantasies about one girl or another, and probably others that they wouldn't admit too, he thought, thinking of Ron and Hermione. Still, this fascination with Ginny all of a sudden couldn't be normal, there had to be another reason!

His thoughts were interrupted when Mr. and Mrs. Weasley asked him if they could have a word. Harry's face flushed guiltily but he quietly followed them from the room, stealing one last look at Ginny before he left. 

Mr. Weasley was holding up a piece of parchment. Harry could see the name of Gringotts printed at the top. "I received a very interesting owl this afternoon Harry," Mr. Weasley was saying.

Harry looked at the floor, "It's from Sirius' will," he explained softly. 

Mrs. Weasley grabbed his chin and raised his head to face hers, "He left this to you Harry, we couldn't possibly accept it. It's incredibly generous but—"

"No!" Harry interrupted, "You have to take it! I don't want it, I don't need it!"

Both of the senior Weasley faces held both sympathy and pity, something Harry couldn't bare to see. He didn't want pity from them, he _never_ wanted pity from them, so he changed tactics, looking at a spot on the floor as he talked, "Look, you've always been more a family to me than anyone else has ever tried to be. I've spent all my summers with you and you've always taken care of me. Let me give something back," Harry was getting more and more embarrassed as he went on, but he forced himself to continue, "I never told S- S- Sirius how much he meant to me, and I'm not going to make that mistake again. Please accept it, there has to be something good to come out of all this."

When Harry finished speaking, he was quiet for a moment, neither of the Weasleys said anything. Finally, he looked up and saw tears in Molly's eyes; Arthur had taken Harry's position of staring at the floor. Mrs. Weasley opened and closed her mouth several times and Harry thought vaguely, _Someone should write this down, I've actually got Molly Weasley at a loss for words!_

Instead of speaking, she wrapped Harry in a tight embrace and pulled him close to her. For once, Harry didn't fight it but instead held on and hugged her back. He could tell she was crying and his own vision was quite blurred. This was how Ginny found them when she entered the hallway.

Unsure of what was going on, but knowing it was somehow important, she wasn't confident what to do, "Mum? Dad? Are we going to do Harry's cake or what?"

Mrs. Weasley and Harry broke apart and Molly whispered, "You will always be a Weasley Harry," softly as Arthur squeezed his shoulder before they re-entered the sitting room. Harry and Ginny followed behind.

"All right Harry?"

"Yeah. . .I am."

"Good then, let's have some cake! I don't think Ron can wait much longer."

As everyone was finishing up their cake, double chocolate, Molly sat down on the couch next to Remus Lupin, who was eating the last few bites of his cake while surreptitiously watching Harry and Ginny laugh over something the twins were saying. Remus leaned over to Molly and said just for her to hear, "Harry seems to finally be coming around."

Molly watched as Harry's eyes followed the rise of Ginny's shirt on her waist as she leaned over to smack one of her brothers. "Yes," she smiled, "Sixth year sounds about right. I remember seeing Arthur on my first day at Hogwarts, he was in his second year. I decided then and there that he was the one for me. Took him until about sixth year to see the light. Once a Weasley woman sets her mind to something, there's no stopping her!"

Moony laughed, "You've got to cut Harry some slack, he has no experience whatsoever with any kind of relationship. He's learning it all from scratch."

Molly smiled sadly, "Sometimes I really want hex those people he lives with."

"Me too. I cringe when I think of Lily. She must be turning over in her grave. She never had a lot of nice to things to say about her sister."

Molly shook herself out of her morose thoughts, "He certainly seems to be enjoying himself tonight. Maybe tonight's dreams will be a bit better."

Moony watched Harry yet again glance at Ginny's bare midriff, "Maybe you're right."

A/N: The idea that Ginny's shirt must be old because it's too small and shows her belly button comes from my young son. He said that about Kim Possible one day and I thought it was hysterical. I imagine Harry isn't any more aware of girl fashion than my son is!

Thanks to all who reviewed, I really appreciate it! Please continue to R/R and let me know what you like and don't like!


	9. Blasts from the Past

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended. 

****

Chapter Nine

Blasts from the Past

Harry awoke with a gasp, his eyes wide and looking around the room frantically. From the look of the pale gray light seeping in through the window, he guessed it was just after dawn. His night had been plagued with nightmares, but fortunately no visions. There hadn't been any visions for the past several nights in a row. Harry continued his Occlumency lessons every other night, but was unsure if the lack of visions indicated he'd finally succeeded in mastering it, or that Voldemort was just lying low planning his next attack. Lessons with Dumbledore were infinitely better than with Snape. The Headmaster had shown him some relaxation methods utilizing meditation in order to clear his mind. Slowly, the relationship between Harry and Dumbledore was being repaired. It would never go back to the way it was, but it was maturing and forming a new bond between the two. There was no relief, however, from Harry's painful dreams about his Godfather. Ginny had been in at one point during the night, but it seemed even the small bit of comfort she provided couldn't keep them at bay for long.

Several weeks had passed since Harry's birthday, and the teens were growing restless with their confinement. Mrs. Weasley tried to keep them busy with the ever-needed cleaning and redecorating that was being done, but the kids were bored. There wasn't even a yard for them to get outside. Since the arrival of their school lists, the four students had talked of little else but their trip into Diagon Ally. Harry hadn't been since before his third year and was thoroughly looking forward to it. The Order didn't think it was a good idea for Harry to go but he'd insisted he was going to. There was no way he was going to let Voldemort hold all the cards. Harry wanted out of this house for a while, he wanted some of his life back. Sensing Harry's growing frustration, Dumbledore finally had granted the okay, under the condition that a guard would accompany them at all times.

"All right Harry?" Ron queried from his bed, the covers still wrapped snugly around him.

"Yeah."

"Nightmare?"

Harry sighed, "What else is new?"

"Want me to go get Ginny?"

Harry started and looked over at his friend, a slow smirk was spreading across Ron's face. "Sod off Weasley!"

"You know Potter, you probably shouldn't have done so well on your O.W.L.s, you're not very bright. How smart is it to get a girl in bed with her brother in the same room?"

Harry's face went crimson, he opened and closed his mouth several times like a fish but emitted no sound. Ron was openly laughing now, his eyes twinkling in much the same way Dumbledore's did at Harry's discomfort.

Finally Harry tossed his pillow at Ron and nearly bolted from the room calling, "Wanker!" as he quickly headed for the shower. Ron's howling could be heard down the hallway.

Ron found this endlessly amusing. Here was his best friend, the legend Harry Potter. The Boy Who Lived. TriWizard Champion. Fearless defeater of Dark Lords, basilisks, and acromantulas — completely and utterly flustered by Ron Weasley's baby sister! Teasing Harry about it was just too much fun, he had absolutely no clue how to take it! Ron enjoyed seeing Harry so flustered; it was good for him to have something _normal_ to focus on!

The day was a brilliant one, bright, sunny and warm. The four teens were up, showered and dressed by nine and waiting in the kitchen for Tonks, who was to accompany them. She arrived sporting short, spiky hair in a shade of red much like the Weasleys. Ginny found this rather funny and admitted she'd always wanted a sister. Hestia Jones, another Order member, accompanied her. "We'll be taking the floo to the Leaky Cauldron," Hestia told them, much more business like than Tonks, "From there you're free to go about your shopping, but you must stay within our sight at all times."

"Here," Tonks joined in handing each of them a small metal cylinder on a string, "Put these around your necks. They are emergency portkeys that will bring you right back here if you tug on them. Keep them on and within easy reach if you need them."

Even Harry was too excited about the day to complain about the precautions, he was going out! Tonks went first, then one by one the friends entered the fireplace with Hestia taking up the rear.

The Leaky Cauldron was much as Harry remembered it, dark and shabby but doing a booming business. Tom, the barkeep, was still there and stood drying glasses behind the bar. Tonks steered them over to a table near the door where Bill Weasley sat casually reading the Daily Prophet. There was no doubt in Harry's mind that he was there to watch the floo while they did their shopping in Diagon Ally.

"Bill!" Ron exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

"Just some minor business," the elder brother answered vaguely, "You lot here for your school supplies?" After nods from the teens, Bill offered, "If you want to hand me your school lists, I'll pick up your books and supplies and give you more time to look around."

Harry had to smile at the beyond horrified expression on Hermione's face. The idea of missing out on the bookstore had nearly paralyzed her and she stood staring at Bill in stunned disbelief.

Ron took pity on his girlfriend, "That's all right Bill. I think Hermione only came for her visit to Flourish and Blotts! We couldn't make her miss out."

Bill grinned, knowing the answer before he had offered, "Good move, brother mine. You've learned more than I thought."

Ron grinned sheepishly and Hermione visibly settled. "Okay," said Tonks, "You've got the day to yourselves but need to be back here at 4:00 sharp. We'll return for tea. Got it?"

"We'll be with you the whole day, but we'll try to remain inconspicuous," Hestia added.

"Yeah," continued Tonks, "so go be kids on a date!"

Both Harry and Ginny colored, though Harry admitted to himself that the idea of being on a date with Ginny was rather intriguing. _But it wasn't a date._ They were just here for school supplies, nothing more. _Sure_, that nagging voice in the back of his head said, _and Malfoy was going to be his new best friend_. Get a grip Potter.

As Bill stood to let them out, a new patron entered the pub. He was a rather short man with dark hair and a mustache. "Declan!" Bill exclaimed, "Long time, no see!" 

The man started in alarm than seemed to relax, "Bill! What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing! How long have you been back from Egypt?"

"Not long. Just visiting with family, you know the drill."

"Don't I?" Bill laughed, "Speaking of, these are my two youngest siblings-" Bill broke off without using their names at a warning glance from Tonks.

The man didn't seem to notice, he was looking around the pub as if expecting someone. Harry thought there was something shifty about him and the way his eyes raked over them all as Bill introduced him as Declan Morrissey, a fellow curse breaker. His gaze seemed to linger particularly hard on Harry, and Harry unconsciously shifted his fringe to better conceal his scar. The teens said their good-byes and made their way out onto the street. Tonks moved to the brick wall and tapped it with her wand, waiting for the archway to appear.

Harry stepped through, a wave of nostalgia overtaking him. He remembered his awe and amazement the first time he'd entered here with Hagrid. He'd wished he'd had more eyes to take it all in. That seemed like another lifetime ago now. He'd been a child then, innocent and naive. The Dursleys had barely let him out of his cupboard to see the Muggle world, let alone a world like this. The sights and sounds of the bustling street were the same, witches and wizards in brightly colored robes doing they're shopping. The Apothecary was still there with it's potions and ingredients that seemed so mystical to him. Eeylops Owl Emporium, where Hagrid had bought Hedwig for Harry's 11th birthday was also still open. Harry fondly remembered the day before third year that he, Ron and Hermione had gone in and Hermione bought Crookshanks. So lost was he in his reminiscence, he didn't notice Ginny tugging impatiently on his sleeve, "Harry, are you listening? We need to go to Gringotts, do you need to make a withdrawal as well?"

"Yeah, I do. Then where to?"

"Flourish and Blotts," said Hermione decisively, "We'll get our schoolbooks out of the way first, just to be sure."

"I need some new potion supplies that I'm low on," added Ginny, "so I need to visit the Apothecary."

"And Harry and I need to check out Quality Quidditch Supplies," said Ron without saying what he needed. Harry didn't really care which shops they visited, he wanted to see them all again and the order didn't really matter to him.

After they all got their money from their respective vaults, Hermione exchanging some Muggle money for Galleons, Sickles, and Knuts, they crossed over to the bookstore.

Hermione immediately disappeared and it would probably take a small army to drag her out. Ron and Ginny made their way to the second hand section while Harry walked to the desk and quietly handed over his book list. While it was being filled, he wandered through a section of Defense books. A book with dueling wands on the cover caught his attention. The book contained a number of advanced hexes and curses and looked really interesting. He tossed it on the counter and the clerk added it in with his other purchases. They puttered around in the shop for over an hour until finally, Ron bodily dragged Hermione up to the counter and she made her purchases. Again as they were leaving another patron was entering. The woman was squat with a wide toad-like face that occasionally appeared in Harry's nightmares. He had walked squarely into his defense teacher from the previous year, Dolores Umbridge. He instinctively grabbed his hand, a hand that still bore a faint scar from her detentions. She was thinner and looked like someone who had not yet recovered from a long illness. Her curly hair was limp and longer than the last time Harry had seen her. 

Her eyes flicked over the four of them and a brief flare of anger appeared as she looked at Hermione. It was Harry she turned her gaze back to and said with a voice that dripped with false sugary sweetness, "Mr. Potter, how pleasant to see you again."

Harry's rage at the unfairness this witch had inflicted on him boiled beneath his skin, but Dumbledore's words about needing to control his anger won out. Without saying a word, he coldly brushed past her and out the door. He took long angry strides as he headed down the street, not even aware that his friends were hurrying to keep up.

The others could see how angry Harry was, but also recognized he was trying to control it and patiently held their tongues. Finally, it was Ron who spoke, "Never thought I'd see _her_ again, the old bat!"

"I can't believe she's walking around free as you please. Certainly the Ministry must have pressed some charges considering she was physically abusing her students!" Hermione raged.

"Since when has the Ministry ever done what it ought to do Hermione? Fudge is so busy trying to salvage his bruised reputation, he's not about to call attention to another one of his endless mistakes," the bitterness in Harry's voice was disturbing. Trying to shake off the sour taste, they continued their shopping and Ron nearly ran to Quality Quidditch Supplies as they neared it.

This was proving to be Harry's day for unpleasant encounters, he decided, for inside was his school archrival and nemesis since first year, Draco Malfoy.

"Well, well, well," the blonde boy sneered with his familiar drawl, "look what the cat dragged in, Potty, the Mudblood and two Weasels."

"Sod off Malfoy," Harry replied, he had no desire to waste any more time on the likes of him. Harry had bigger fish to fry and he was determined to not get dragged into petty squabbles with Malfoy this year. Moving to get around him without another glance, he was stopped in his tracks by the Slytherins' next words, "Still in mourning over your dead dog Potter? Should have kept him on a tighter leash."

He felt rather than heard Hermione and Ginny's sharp intakes of breath. Everything was silent save the rushing in his ears, he felt like he's been hit in the gut. Harry had his wand out before Malfoy had even seen him move and his eyes widened in alarm. It was Ron who held Harry back and dragged him out of the store as they heard Ginny's scathing, "How's your daddy like Azkaban?" If it wasn't for the fact Harry really didn't want to hurt Ron, he might have cursed him. He still clutched his wand tightly and he had to forcibly restrain himself from rushing back in there_. So much for his new resolution!_

"Easy mate, take it easy. I'd like to kill him too, but we can't afford a scene in there or Tonks will have us back at headquarters so fast our heads will spin." Ron was right, but Harry wasn't used to Ron being the voice of reason. Using Dumbledore's hints, he tried to take deep, calming breaths, but his rage was hard to diminish after encounters with both Malfoy and Dolores Umbridge.

"I'm sorry Harry," Ron said quietly, "About Sirius, I mean. I don't think I've ever told you that."

Harry closed his eyes tightly, "I don't want to talk about it right now." The girls came out and Ron quickly shook his head, telling them to leave it alone.

"I think we should get some lunch," Ginny smiled brightly, "It's a beautiful day, how about we go to Florean Fortescue's and eat outside."

"But they only serve Ice Cream?" queried ever practical Hermione.

"So? You've never had ice cream for lunch?" Ginny asked with an amused look.

"Ice cream for lunch sounds brilliant!" Harry smiled, and it was settled.

All four had sundaes with healthy doses of chocolate for lunch and felt much better for it! Even Harry managed to have his spirits lifted sitting in the warm summer sun laughing with his friends. They ran into several other students while they ate and pleasantries were exchanged all around. When they finished, they began walking around, dropping in various shops and looking around along the way. They had finally decided to visit Fred and George's shop. Harry hadn't been there yet and was anxious to check out what it looked like and how business was doing. Ron knew a shortcut so they followed him through a small alleyway. Harry noticed a stone stairway off to the side and recognized it as leading to Knockturn Ally. He had ended up in the seedy area by mistake once in his second year.

After all the unpleasant run-ins they had that day, Harry felt he should have known, should have suspected something. He hadn't though, and was caught completely off-guard when it happened. They had just passed the stone stairway and were walking past a witch dressed in heavy black robes when Harry heard a voice that turned his blood to ice, "Is itty baby Potter having a day out wif his wittle fwiends?" 

The voice was full of malice and loathing. Harry spun around and looked into the heavily hooded, insane eyes of Bellatrix Lestrange. She was standing there, plain as day on the street as if she'd been waiting. Harry's mind whirled, he was back at the Ministry of Magic watching her jet of red light strike Sirius in the chest, chasing after her through the brain room, attempting the Cruciatus, her infuriating laughter. . .

"This must be my lucky day Potter," she switched from the baby voice to one as hard as steel, "My master will be _so_ pleased."

Hermione was glancing around for Tonks and Hestia and began to frantically wave her arms. Bellatrix realized what she was doing and raised her wand. Ron instinctively moved in front of Hermione. 

Harry couldn't let this happen again! He had to get her away from his friends so they could use their portkeys to escape. With a snarl he rushed at the woman, grabbing her around the waist and sending both of them head over heels down the stairs. Harry saw stars as his head connected painfully with the stone and he desperately fought the blackness threatening to overtake him. _Don't black out now Potter!_ He heard rather than felt the crack of a bone in his wand arm. When they landed at the bottom, both jumped up despite their injuries and faced each other in a dueling stance. Other Death Eaters were appearing now, Harry didn't know where they were all coming from. Both Tonks and Hestia had followed him down the stairs and were heavily outnumbered yet battling fiercely. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were still standing in the same spot on the landing above, it appeared one of the aurors had placed a barrier preventing them from following. They stood as if alternating between frozen in shock to desperately trying to get down the stairs to assist, all the while watching what was happening with Harry and Bellatrix.

Bellatrix was a mess, panting heavily, her head was bleeding profusely and her shoulder was twisted at an odd angle. Harry didn't imagine he looked much better.

"Go!" he yelled to the others in irritation, _what were they waiting for_?

"So the itty bitty baby wants to pwotect his fwiends? Isn't dat sweet?" she'd gone back to the annoying baby talk. Vaguely it crossed Harry's mind that today he'd met up with both Dolores Umbridge and Bellatrix Lestrange. All he needed was to see Aunt Petunia and he'd have all the women who'd made his life a living hell in one-stop shopping!

Bellatrix sent a stunning spell at him that Harry easily dodged. Forgoing the ban on underage magic, Harry fired one back at her but she also blocked in time. Between Harry's broken arm and Bellatrix' dislocated shoulder, they were both having trouble getting off their curses. They volleyed back and forth for several seconds before a yell sounded from the stairs. Hestia Jones had been hit with the Killing Curse. Harry's brief moment of distraction was all Lestrange needed, she pointed her wand at Harry and snarled, "_Crucio_!"

Harry's head exploded in pain as his blood began to boil and his bones seemed to be cooking from the heat. The agony was so all consuming, so intense that Harry wasn't even aware of the howling he emitted as he dropped to the ground and writhed in pain. He just wanted it to stop, he could think of nothing else but making it stop. It went on for what felt like hours, but she finally lifted her wand and Harry was left panting and gasping for breath. His head throbbed fit to burst but through his blurred vision he could still make out Ron. Knowing he only would have an instant, he gave Ron a clear view of the cylinder clutched in his hand. Brief understanding flashed on Ron's face as he grabbed the girls closer to him and all four disappeared instantaneously despite the furious screech of Bellatrix Lestrange.

They reappeared in the entrance hall of Grimmauld Place, Harry still on the ground struggling to hold on to consciousness. The other three made their way over to him as Tonks appeared in the room looking significantly bruised and bloodied herself. "Remus! Moody! Molly!" she called. When no one answered she hissed at Ron, "Find someone and get Madam Pomfrey here, now!"

"Harry," Ginny said as she gently cradled his head on her lap, "can you hear me?" His entire body was shaking and he couldn't seem to stop the tremors.

"I'm okay," Harry slurred.

"Honestly Harry!" Hermione huffed, "You are NOT okay! She held you under the Cruciatus for a long time! I can't believe you're still coherent!"

"Do you think you can sit up," Ginny asked, trying to gently raise him. She grabbed hold of his injured arm however and he yelped in pain, "Oh! I'm so sorry," she cried and actually had tears in her eyes.

Harry's head was swimming and he blinked against the spots that keep appearing in front of his eyes. The whole room seemed to be swaying and Harry tried to hold on to the rug to keep himself steady.

Mrs. Weasley came running into the room with Ron right on her heels. "Oh Thank Merlin you're here! We got word of an attack in Diagon Ally and everyone headed over there." She knelt down next to Harry and gently swiped the hair on his forehead, "Madam Pomfrey is on her way Harry, let's get you up to bed. Tonks, no! You sit down there, she needs to look you over too. Ron, help me with Harry."

As Ron and Mrs. Weasley lifted him to his feet, the dots that had been appearing before his eyes suddenly grew until they connected and he knew no more.

**********

Harry was confused, he didn't know where he was. It was a house of some sort, small but inviting with a warm fire blazing. Harry felt warm and content, safe andpeaceful. As he looked around the room, a figure emerged from seemingly nowhere. Harry looked up into the smiling face of Sirius Black. His godfather looked wonderful! Healthy and younger somehow. His hair was cut short and close and the haggard lines around his mouth and eyes had all but disappeared. 

"Sirius," Harry whispered in disbelief, "Am I dead?"

Sirius laughed, a deep, rich laugh full of warmth and humor, "No kiddo, you're very much alive. You just managed to get yourself wounded again."

"I miss you!"

"I miss you too kiddo. I'm so sorry to have left you like that. Typical me, running off at the mouth without using my head. Some things never change," he shrugged.

"No! It was my fault! Voldemort tricked me and I fell for it. I'm so sorry Sirius, I'm so sorry," Harry felt his eyes well up and watched as Sirius' did the same.

"I don't want to hear you say that anymore Harry. I would die a thousand deaths for you, but you are not the cause. My lovely cousin did this. Voldemort did this, not you. Hell, I did the same thing! We each thought the other was in danger, are you going to blame me?"

"No! But—"

"Then I don't want you to blame yourself anymore."

"I don't think I can do this Sirius. I can't defeat him alone, I don't know how."

"You're not alone Harry, you'll never be alone. Let Remus, Hermione, and the Weasleys in. They love you Harry and they want to help. They'll be right there with you and you can do this. Ron, Hermione and your Ginny are your strength, draw from that."

"She's not _my_ Ginny."

Sirius laughed deeply, "She's always been your Ginny, Harry. The only question is how long it will take you to realize it."

The image of Sirius began to fade. "No! Don't go, please! Don't leave me!" Harry cried.

Sirius voice was soft but distant, "I'll always be with you Harry, just think of me."

"Don't go," Harry yelled. But Sirius was gone.

*********

Harry awoke some time later to the sound of Ron opening the door to the room they shared and peeking in. "He's awake," he turned and said to whoever was in the hallway. Ron, Hermione, and Ginny all entered the room and gathered around his bed. "How are you feeling mate?" Ron asked.

"Like I got hit by the Hogwarts Express," Harry croaked. Ginny handed him a glass of water and he sipped it gratefully. "How long have I been out?"

"Pretty much all day," Ginny answered, brushing the hair from his forehead, "It's really late, everyone else is in bed."

"Madam Pomfrey was here," said Hermione, "you've got a broken arm and some broken ribs. She mended the arm, but your ribs will be tender for a few days. She said the aches from the Cruciatus would take a few days to wear off too."

"Your head took the brunt of the fall down the stairs," added Ron, "You're going to have quite a shiner to show for it. Madam Pomfrey said maybe it would be a reminder to you to stay out of trouble."

"What were you thinking pushing her down the stairs like that Harry? You could have been killed!" Hermione was trying to restrain her exasperation with her wounded friend with little success.

"Why didn't you use the portkey after we went down?" Harry whispered, growing more and more fatigued.

"We couldn't just leave you there! Come on Harry, you know we're going to stick by you no matter what!" Ron was indignant.

Harry didn't have the energy to fight with them, he was losing the battle to stay awake, "Is everyone else okay?"

Ginny nodded, "Except for Hestia Jones. You saw that."

"They had a big meeting here afterwards, the twins filled us in. According to Snape, the attack was planned for Gringotts, it was just a bonus for them that they ran into you. Apparently, Voldemort has orders to bring you to him at all costs. I'm betting it was Malfoy who tipped them off!" Ron stated angrily.

"No," Ginny said, "Umbridge."

"I don't know," Hermione went on, "I was wondering about that fellow Bill knew. Declan something. He's a curse breaker like Bill. Voldemort must have someone like that working for him recently considering all the trouble with the wards."

"You think he's a Death Eater?"

Harry was having trouble following along and his eyelids grew very heavy, Hermione noticed him trying to stay awake, "Mrs. Weasley wanted to get you a potion for dreamless sleep but Madam Pomfrey wouldn't allow it. She said there was too much in your system already. You go to sleep though; we could blind you with dental floss Harry. We'll all stay here with you tonight," and she kissed him gently on the head.

"Hey!" Ron said.

"Oh, get a grip," responded Hermione climbing into Ron's bed and settling herself beneath the covers.

Ron watched her do this in confusion but shrugged his shoulders and moved towards the bed himself. "You can stay on top of the covers and use the quilt," Hermione stated.

"I knew that!" Ron spluttered.

Ginny had been watching the two of them settle down, unsure what was expected of her. She kept looking in confusion at Ron, certainly he wasn't suggesting she should stay with _Harry_?

Ron looked over and smiled at the puzzled expression on his sister's face, "It's not like you haven't come in before! Besides, lover boy over there is no condition to try anything!"

Harry didn't open his eyes but smirked at Ron and muttered, "I've been underestimated before."

Ron grew suddenly somber at the comment, "That you have, mate. That you have."

A/N: Thanks to all for reviewing, I really appreciate it! Please continue to R/R. One note however, this IS going to be a Harry/Ginny romance, so if that isn't your thing, you most likely won't enjoy this one! J 

I firmly believe H/G is the ONLY Harry ship that floats and feel I can say so with authority. How you may ask? Tomorrow is my 12-year anniversary to a man I am very happy with. You know how we met? He was (and still is) my brother's best friend. It works! Happy Anniversary Honey, I love you!!!


	10. Homeward Bound

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended. The Chapter title belongs to Simon and Garfunkel. I've always liked that song and imagine it's how Harry feels going back to Hogwarts.

****

Chapter Ten

Homeward Bound

Three days after the attack on Diagon Ally, it was time to return to Hogwarts. The attack had left the Wizarding world in a full panic and the Ministry had its hands full trying to instill some calm reassurance. Many Wizarding families were fleeing Britain in an effort to get away from the coming war. There was a heavy presence of Aurors now at Gringotts but another attempt on the bank had not been made. The Death Eaters had disapparated quickly after Harry's escape. His appearance in Diagon Ally had completely sidetracked the original plan and Harry had never been so happy to be in the wrong place at the right time.

Mrs. Weasley had insisted he remain on the couch while recuperating and Harry had allowed her to fuss with little complaint. He'd even grown to enjoy the way she constantly fetched him drinks, or blankets, or adjusted his pillows. Better yet was when she made Ron do it! Harry found this very funny and delighted in Ron's grumbling over it. Ginny had taken to slapping him on the arm and calling him a prat for "milking it," as she put it. Harry found he enjoyed the teasing too so he kept it up. Both Ron and Ginny realized this was the first time Harry had ever really been taken care of within a family or fussed over when sick so they played up their roles well. His eye was still black and blue, now with a sickly green and yellow tinge around the edges. Otherwise, he was feeling good and ready to begin his 6th year. He sincerely hoped this year would be better than the last.

Despite the fact Mrs. Weasley had woken them with plenty of time to spare, they were still rushing in the morning and Harry was secretly glad. It wouldn't be a normal trip to Hogwarts without the chaos of the Weasley family behind schedule. Ron had, of course, left his packing for the last minute and Hermione was scolding him for it. Ron kept running around muttering, "Mental, that one," under his breath. Fred and George wanted to see them off but Mrs. Weasley thought it was a bad idea to have the two of them accompany Ron and Harry, too great a temptation for mischief. Instead, Hermione and Ginny went with the twins on the Underground. Mrs. Weasley, Remus, and Mad Eye Moody escorted Harry and Ron to the train station using a muggle taxi.

They made it to Kings Cross with about 10 minutes to spare. Dumbledore had arranged for most of the Order to be on hand at the train station and there was also a large team of Aurors on duty to ensure the train got off smoothly. Harry noticed there seemed to be a smaller number of students and wondered if families were keeping their children away this year. Harry went through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4 with Moony, who pulled him aside before he boarded. Moony had fixed the broken pieces of Harry's mirror with a _Reparo_ spell and recast the charm to make it work. He told Harry he'd keep the other one with him and Harry could contact him if he needed anything.

"Take care of yourself Harry and try to have some fun this year. What's coming will come whether or not you've pulled a prank or two," Remus smiled, "Make the Marauders proud."

"Moony, are you actually encouraging me to break the rules?"

"Like you weren't going to anyway? I knew your father Harry, remember? I know exactly the kinds of things you get up to."

"Fair enough. Thanks for everything Moony."

Moony wrapped him a tight bear hug, "You might be seeing me sooner than you think," he said mysteriously, "Stay alert and keep in touch."

Fred and George had managed to quietly corner both Harry and Ginny, "Remember our legacy," Fred said.

"It's down to you two to do us proud, and use lots of our products in doing so," George added dumping a stack of magazines in Ginny's arms. "Here are some of our catalogs, leave them around the Common Room and try to get friends from other houses to leave them in theirs."

"We're counting on you! Don't let Ron catch you, he'd probably have to take points!"

"Ruddy Prefect."

Ginny just shook her head and walked away, Harry waved his goodbye and followed her.

Mrs. Weasley hugged them all and kissed each goodbye as they boarded the train. As she pulled Harry into a tight embrace she whispered, "Take care of yourself Harry, stay safe. You make sure you get enough to eat. You're looking much healthier these days and I don't want to see that spoiled when you come home at Christmas." Harry hugged her back and promised to do his best as he boarded the train with the others. Ron and Hermione had to ride in the Prefect car for the beginning of the journey, but promised to join them as soon as they could. Harry and Ginny found an empty car relatively easily and stowed their trunks inside. As the whistle blew and the train departed, Harry stared out the window at the platform. He couldn't help but be reminded of last year when Snuffles had chased the train as far as he could. A wave of melancholy washed over him and he shut his eyes tight, resting his forehead on the glass of the window. He'd give anything to see that wagging tail and lolling tongue now

Ginny was watching him and noticed the sad expression that crossed his face. She, too, remembered how Sirius had refused to follow orders and joined them here last year. She reached over and touched Harry's hand; he caught her eyes and gave a weary smile.

"I wonder where Neville and Luna are?" Ginny said, trying to force his mind away from his Godfather.

"Dunno, they'll probably be in at some point."

"I wonder who the new DADA professor will be?"

"Oh, Dumbledore told me, Diana something. She's been living in the States. He said Remus knows her but I forgot to ask him about her."

"Hem Hem, she's got to be better than Umbridge."

Harry and Ginny chatted easily for a few minutes before the compartment door slid open. Harry looked up and was surprised to see Cho Chang, smiling tentatively at him. Her long dark hair was pulled back and although he still thought she was very pretty, he realized his feelings for her had completely evaporated. Harry wasn't sure what she wanted, but he knew he didn't want to be alone with her. When Ginny went to rise and give them some privacy, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back down, "Don't go," he mouthed silently. Ginny frowned at him but stayed put.

"Hullo Harry," began Cho.

"Hi Cho, how are you?"

"I'm okay I suppose. I heard about what happened to you in Diagon Ally. Is that where you got that?" she indicated his black eye. The Daily Prophet had reported the attempted kidnapping and Harry's escape in glorifying detail, trying to divert attention from what the Death Eaters were really after.

"Yeah, I'm fine. You remember Ginny Weasley, right?"

"Yes, hello Ginny," she said rather coolly.

"Cho," Ginny answered in an equally frigid tone.

"I was wondering if I could speak to you for a moment Harry?"

"Sure, go ahead," Harry purposely misunderstood her. Ginny looked up tilting her head and smiled sweetly.

"Alone."

"Oh. Well, Ginny and I were in the middle of a conversation, I'll get back to you, okay," Harry said this all very quickly.

Being put off was not something Cho was used to and she was visibly annoyed by it. "Fine," she snapped, "I'll see you later."

"Bye Cho," called Ginny merrily as the other girl stormed out of the compartment.

"You. Were. Brilliant," Harry smiled.

"What was all that about Harry?"

"I dunno. Just the idea of being alone with her was not something I wanted to deal with right now. Thanks for staying."

"No problem, I rather enjoyed it. I never much cared for her, too much the drama queen. She's also dating my ex-boyfriend."

"Oh, right, I forgot about that."

"Are you still interested in her Harry?"

"NO! No, not at all. Whatever it was between us was a disaster before it even started."

Ginny smiled, annoyed at herself again for being pleased with his answer. Those eyes of his still had the power to melt her heart and she couldn't help but be thrilled to hear him say he felt nothing for Cho Chang. He's just your friend Ginny. _Yeah right_! If she really had to admit it to herself, Ginny knew her crush was back in all its embarrassing glory. She couldn't seem to help herself. There was something about the fact that Harry was hurting, that he was vulnerable that made him all the more appealing to her. She wanted to be there for him, she wanted to help him. She knew she helped him with his nightmares and was glad of it. She had no intention of letting that slip away now that they would be back at Hogwarts. She just hadn't figured out how she'd see to it. That day in Diagon Ally was like a nightmare for Ginny. Watching Harry suffer in agony under the Cruciatus brought back all kinds of unpleasant memories from her first year. Tom had wanted to hurt Harry, and Ginny had unwittingly helped him. Harry saved her life anyway, and she was determined that somehow, some way, she would repay him for it. It was more than a Wizard Debt though, much more. She didn't just want Harry to survive, she wanted him to _live_! She wanted to see him happy.

Harry was having his own internal dialog, wondering if Ginny still had feelings for Michael Corner. She certainly seemed to harbor some hostility towards Cho. It certainly couldn't be over _him_, so maybe she still did feel something for Corner. Harry suddenly found himself disliking Michael Corner a great deal. Both were startled out of their reveries as the compartment door slid open and both Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood entered, holding hands no less!

"Hi guys!" Neville said cheerfully sitting down in the seat next to Ginny. Luna sat on his other side, "Hello Ginny. Hello Harry."

"Hi," Harry and Ginny both chorused. "What's new with you?" Ginny asked leaning her head toward their linked hands.

Neville blushed but Luna answered calmly, "We worked together on a project at the Ministry Horticultural Society. We've been dating ever since."

"Oh how wonderful, I'm so pleased for you," Ginny gushed sincerely.

"Yeah, that's great news," offered Harry with a puzzled expression, he had trouble getting his mind around the idea of Neville with Luna. Ginny elbowed him in the ribs and mouthed, "Harry, you prat."

Harry didn't have time to answer as once again the door slid open and this time it was Ron and Hermione who came in. "What a joke!" Ron exclaimed, throwing himself in the empty seat next to Harry, "I'm so glad that's over!"

Hermione sat down next to him, "You barely paid attention as it was Ron. Honestly, you should take your Prefect duties more seriously."

"Who's the new Head Boy and Head Girl?" Ginny asked trying to divert an argument.

"Head Boy is David Garrett from Hufflepuff," Hermione answered.

"And Head Girl is our own Katie Bell!" Ron added.

"Is she really? Good for her!" Harry exclaimed.

The lunch trolley arrived and Harry bought Cauldron cakes, Pumpkin Pasties and a boatload of sweets for all. As they ate, several members of the D.A. stopped by and poked their heads in, all very pleased to hear the D.A. would be continuing and promising to pledge their support. Several members had graduated last year and Harry began thinking about posting a sign up sheet for new people. If the new defense teacher was any good, however, he doubted there would be much new interest.

As they were cleaning up the remains of the lunch, the compartment door slid open and outside stood Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle_. What trip to Hogwarts would be complete without a visit from them_, Harry thought irritably. Taking a good look at the Slytherins, Harry noted that Malfoy was looking amazingly smug, more so than normal even. His steel gray eyes showed a hint of malice, something hard and bitter that Harry had never seen there before. His blonde hair, always so perfect, seemed ruffled and out of place and even the air around him seemed electrically charged.

"Potter," he drawled, "Hope you're enjoying the trip, it'll most likely be your last."

"Why is that Malfoy, think I'm so brilliant they'll graduate me early?"

Malfoy flushed slightly and Harry thought, _now_ _there's the Malfoy I know_, "Things are changing Potter, it's in the air. There's a feeling of, say, a break out happening. Your days are numbered."

"Sod off Malfoy," Ron barked, "Why is it you feel the need to barge in here every trip. Get too lonely over the summer without us?"

Malfoy's gaze flicked over Ron, then Hermione and finally the others in the compartment, "You've chosen the losing side, all of you. Of course, the Mudblood here _is_ the losing side."

Ron lunged at Malfoy but Hermione held him back, "Just ignore him Ron! He's trying to get you riled."

"Get out Malfoy!" Ginny spat as Neville closed the door behind them. Harry's mind was racing. Malfoy's comment about a break out made Harry immediately think of Azkaban. Was he insinuating his father had escaped? He caught Hermione's eyes, she thought so too. Harry took a deep breath, nothing to do about it but wait and see. It was going to happen sooner or later anyway.

"Harry," Hermione said, "you need to stay away from him this year. There was something different about him, harder."

"Yeah, I noticed it too. He's still just a git though and I've got bigger fish to worry about than Draco Malfoy." They were all silent at that.

Ron and Harry began a game of chess. Harry knew he would lose, he always did, but he enjoyed playing and it was a way to pass the time. The next time the door opened, Harry, Ron, and Neville's other two roommates, Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan, entered. This time it was Ginny who grabbed Harry's arm and mouthed, "Don't leave!" Harry figured he would return the favor. Dean was very cold to Ginny, not even acknowledging her presence as he spoke to the others. Harry found himself feeling unusually protective of Ginny and wished Dean would just hurry up and leave. The tension was obvious and the air was very uncomfortable; they were all just as glad when the two boys moved along.

It was when Harry made a trip to the bathroom that he again ran into Cho. Resigning himself to talking to her, he pretended casualness and said, "Hi Cho, what did you need to talk to me about?"

"Oh, I just wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings from last year, you know, the way things ended between us and all. I really hope we can still be friends."

Harry didn't know why, but for some reason he doubted the sincerity of her words. After all, they had never really even been friends. Nonetheless, he responded, "Of course we're friends. No hard feelings."

Cho seemed to be waiting for something more, "I mean I'm seeing Michael now, and you're seeing Ginny. . .so things could be uncomfortable."

For an instant Harry went to correct her, but stopped himself and just said, "No. Nothing uncomfortable. I'm glad you're happy Cho, I'll see you around." With that, he headed back to his compartment and didn't see the vicious glare Cho was giving to his back. Before he had even made it back to his seat, the rumors were flying that he was now dating Ginny Weasley.

When Harry returned, Ron and Hermione had left to do a patrol of the other cars. Ginny challenged him to a game of chess and he readily agreed. He found he enjoyed the game even more when he had a slight chance of winning. Neville and Luna eventually grew tired of watching them play, and went to visit the other cars to see who was around. Seizing on the moment of being alone with her, Harry muttered, "I need to apologize for something Ginny."

"What's that?"

"Well, I ran into Cho when I was walking and she assumed we were dating. I didn't correct her," Harry said willing the blush that stained his cheeks to die down.

Ginny looked up sharply and stared at him intently, "Why is that?"

"I dunno really. I didn't want to keep the conversation going any longer than I had to and. . ."

"It's okay Harry, don't worry about it," Ginny giggled, "The idea she and I switched boyfriends is probably bugging her!"

"And you enjoy that?"

"Sure. I'm not above admitting I don't mind getting on her nerves!" Ginny was smiling evilly.

"Remind me never to cross you." 

Ginny's grin spread even further and Harry felt his stomach give another of those now familiar flip-flops. His eyes widened in alarm as he quickly placed a book on his lap. "I'll be keeping my eye on you, so you'd better watch your step."

"I'll— I'll keep that in mind," He had wanted that to come out sounding casual but his voice had cracked in a embarrassingly high-pitched way.

Ginny giggled at his discomfort, "Nice one."

The level of excitement on the train grew as the students who hadn't changed into robes already did so and the great red Hogwarts express lumbered into the station. They'd arrived in Hogsmeade.

As he exited the train, Harry looked eagerly up towards the castle, waiting for that feeling of warmth he'd always felt on seeing it to overtake him. It never came. Somehow, staring at the peaks and turrets of Hogwarts, Harry's mind flashed vividly on scenes of the previous yeardetentions with Umbridge, the Quidditch ban, Occlumency lessons with Snape, Sirius' head in the fire, his vision in his History exam.

He looked over at the carriages lined up to take the students up to the castle. The Thestrals that pulled them seemed to be staring back at him, mocking yet another death he had witnessed. Harry wanted to be sick.

This had always felt like home to him, a safe haven, and a place to belong. Suddenly Harry had the overwhelming childish desire to turn and flee, to run and never stop running. In actuality though, where would he go? Where was home? Privet Drive? Grimmauld Place? There was no place else to go.

Closing his eyes tightly, Harry forced these thoughts back. This was Hogwarts! He'd always loved it here and he wouldn't allow that to be taken from him. There were more pleasant memories to outshine the bad and he had to latch on to those. Gritting his teeth, he hunched his shoulders and led the way toward the carriages, he was going home.

A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews on last chapter! I'm so pleased you seemed to like it. Action/Adventure really isn't my strong suit; I'm much more comfortable with the high drama/angst kind of stuff. The response was great though so I'll work on adding more in. You guys are great!!! Please keep the R/R coming!


	11. Breakout

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Eleven

Breakout

It was a bright, clear, early autumn evening and there was a distinct chill permeating the air. The summer had been a cool one and autumn seemed to have arrived early in all its glory. Stepping out of the carriage, Harry took a deep breath into his lungs; he always liked the fall. This kind of weather brought to mind apples, roasted chicken and Quidditch matches. He allowed himself to be swept along in the rush of students making their way up the stone stairs into the massive entrance hall of Hogwarts. Torches lit the hall as Harry glanced longingly at the marble staircase, wishing he could just bypass the feast and head straight up to the Gryffindor common room. He wanted nothing more than to settle down by the fire in his favorite arm chair and take it all in without really having to be a part of it. Harry wasn't sure why he was feeling so overwhelmed, but his stomach was lurching unpleasantly and his head was beginning to throb.

His friends had noticed how withdrawn Harry had become on the carriage ride up from the train and they all sympathized with him. Determined to not let him retreat into himself, however, Hermione and Ginny each latched on to one of his arms and Ron led the way as the girls frog marched him through the double doors into the Great Hall. It was splendidly decorated for the start of term feast and the long house tables glittered with their finery. The enchanted ceiling showed millions of stars that all seemed to be twinkling in welcome. Ron took a seat at the Gryffindor table and Hermione moved to sit next to him. Harry and Ginny took seats on the other side of the table, opposite them. Neville walked Luna over to the Ravenclaw table before rejoining them. Harry could see Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor ghost floating at the head of the table, no doubt waiting to startle some new first years by pulling off his head, Harry thought.

"Hiya Harry!" Harry turned to find Colin Creevey and his younger brother Dennis moving to take the seats on the other side of Ginny, "How was your summer? Ours was great! Dad took us on a trip to the coast and we got to try water skiing. Dennis almost drowned!"

Harry tuned him out as Colin continued to ramble on about their summer adventures by the sea. Harry had never seen the ocean; the Dursleys had never taken him on their summer holidays. He thought that was something he would like to see one day. Maybe he could make a deal with himself, if he survived his final confrontation with Voldemort, as a reward he'd take a holiday by the sea_. Sure! What happened to setting attainable goals Potter?_ Harry shook his head, forcing those thoughts away. He had time yet, there had to be a way this could be done. A way that he could live, and still be able to live with himself.

Dragging himself back to the feast, Harry looked up at the staff table. Hagrid was there, towering over everyone else even from a seated position, waving merrily at Harry. Harry's return smile was genuine; he couldn't help but be pleased to see Hagrid. Snape was in his usual spot at the other end of the table, scowling at everyone as his eyes traveled the length of the tables, waiting to catch the slightest hint of misbehavior. On Snapes left sat a witch Harry didn't recognize. She had mousy brown hair that she wore pulled back in a plait. She was neither beautiful nor unattractive, more average and plain. The kind of face you would swear you knew, but it was because it was a face you'd seen on many others before. Harry guessed this was the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Hermione's thoughts were mirroring his own, "That must be the new DADA teacher. I hope she's good. Snape is ignoring her, but nothing new there." It was common knowledge that the hooked nose Potions master wanted to teach the Defense class, but was denied each year. He usually displayed a great deal of animosity towards whomever it was that did hold the post.

"I hope they just get on with the Sorting, I'm starving!" Ron complained.

Hermione rolled her eyes, "Exactly when aren't you starving?"

"I'm a growing boy, I need nourishment!" It was true, despite Ron's constant appetite he never seemed to grow out, only up. He was easily one of, if not the, tallest student in their year.

The doors to the Great Hall swung open and silence fell as Professor McGonagle led a group of quiet and utterly terrified-looking first years up to the front of the hall. Harry remembered the feeling and commiserated with the young students. He had been so worried that he wouldn't get picked to belong in any house and would get kicked right back out the door. As Professor McGonagle moved the stool on which the Sorting Hat rested into place, Harry once again drifted back to the previous year.

It was at the start of term feast that they had all set eyes on Dolores Umbridge, although Harry had seen her once before at his mistrial in the Ministry of Magic. She'd actually interrupted Professor Dumbledore's welcome, something unheard of judging by the shocked expressions on the faces of the rest of the staff, and went off into a speech of her own. Hermione had caught the subtle references that hinted the Ministry was digging its claws in at Hogwarts. Harry hadn't paid much attention then, but looking back, all the warning signs had been there.

After running into her at Flourish and Blotts, Harry had again put her out of his mind. Now, however, he wondered what she was doing and if she still held on to her connections at the Ministry. She and Fudge seemed thick as thieves and Fudge was still holding on to his position, though very precariously. 

With a jolt, Harry realized he'd missed the hat's yearly song altogether and that the Sorting had already begun.

"Baker, William," McGonagle called out and a small, wiry blonde boy shuffled up to the stool. He climbed on with great trepidation and the hat shouted out, "HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Bennett, Tracy."

The Hufflepuff table had exploded into cheers as William Baker hurried over and took his seat. Harry saw Hannah Abbott reach out and shake his hand.

"GRYFFINDOR!" shouted the hat.

Harry turned quickly and joined the applause of his own table as a young girl with very short hair joined their table. She didn't seem to be as frightened as Will Baker did, but wary nonetheless.

"Keep an eye out for potential Quidditch talent," Ron muttered to Harry.

"How can you possibly tell if they are any good at Quidditch from merely sitting under a hat," Hermione demanded.

"I can tell," Ron answered confidently, "I'll bet that Tracy girl will show up at tryouts, you wait and see."

"We need a new Chaser, but we can also use some reserves. We'll lose Katie next year, than you and I the year after that," Harry responded.

"Two new Chasers," Ron clarified.

Ginny turned and scowled at her brother, "What—"

"You have to try out same as anyone."

"But I was already on the team!"

"You can have the reserve Seeker spot if you want it, but if you want to be a first round Chaser, you'll have to try out."

Ginny glared at Ron but Harry saw the determined glint in her eye and felt Ron would be the one to eat his words. Harry ducked his head and turned back to the hat.

"Duckett, Nigel."

The Sorting Hat took a long time on this boy, and Harry sympathized with the boy's discomfort.

"SLYTHERIN!"

Nigel quickly scuttled over to the table on the opposite wall of the hall and was welcomed by Malfoy.

"Elliott, Iris."

A girl with fringe so long it covered her eyes took her turn on the stool.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Iris ran right over and sat next to Will Baker.

The Sorting Hat continued on with Ron's complaints on the lack of food growing louder and more frequent by the minute. Finally, the line had dwindled and when McGonagle called the last name, "White, Andrew," and the Sorting Hat shouted, "RAVENCLAW!" huge cheers burst throughout the entire Great Hall.

"Finally," Ron muttered, "now we can eat!"

Professor Dumbledore rose to his feet and the hall quieted down and looked at him expectantly. His robes of deep midnight blue shimmered in the candlelight and Harry admitted he looked better than he had recently. Dumbledore smiled benignly as he looked around the room at the assembled students, "Without further preamble, Tuck In!"

Instantly the tables were filled with a wide variety of items to tempt any palate. Their goblets were filled and Harry had to cover a grin at Hermione's frown over the work the house elves put into the feast. Ron dug in immediately and hunched over his heaping plate ignoring the conversation around him. Ginny and Hermione, though more selective, began to fill their own plates while Harry looked around in dismay. He was really feeling quite sick now and the idea of even putting the food on his plate was making his stomach churn unpleasantly. Catching Ginny's eyes watching him, Harry steeled himself and plopped some mashed potatoes with steak and kidney pie onto his plate. He swished his fork back and forth, but avoided putting anything in his mouth. "Harry, why aren't you eating?" Hermione asked.

"Mum told us all to make sure your plate was full Harry, you're not going to get away with skipping meals while we're here," Ginny added.

"I'm eating," Harry said a bit crossly, "I'm just not very hungry."

"How can you not be hungry?" Ron asked after swallowing, he was now loading his second plate, "It's been hours since lunch!"

Harry sighed, "Look, I know you guys are just trying to help, but I'm okay, all right?" Ron shrugged and went back to his plate, the girls eventually did too but Harry could tell they weren't happy. He felt like a little kid trying to hide his uneaten vegetables in his napkin.

Neville, who was sitting on the other side of Hermione, asked Harry about the D.A. "I got an O on my Defense O.W.L. and I owe that to you Harry. Gran actually said she was proud of me!"

"Well she should be proud of you Neville," Hermione turned towards him, "You worked very hard for that! I'll bet all the members of the D.A. who sat for O.W.L.s last year did well. They are probably the only ones who did since Umbridge wasn't actually teaching anything!"

As the eating eventually slowed, the plates were magically cleaned and pudding appeared. Harry was feeling more than nauseous at this point and the treacle tart in front of him wasn't helping. He turned to Ginny beside him and tried to avoid looking at the food on the table. "So Ginny," he said softly, "I could tell by the look on your face you're going to try out for Chaser, any ideas on who else might make a good one?"

Ginny turned to face him, her forehead scrunched up, as she thought about it, "Not really. We had Katie, Alicia and Angelina for so long, they were all pretty young when they made the team. I haven't noticed much of anyone else because I haven't seen them play."

Harry nodded; it was another reason they should make sure they get some reserves.

"Harry, do you feel all right? You're looking very peaked."

Harry's standard denial was on the tip of his tongue, but looking at her warm chocolate eyes that were simply filled with concern he found he really didn't want to lie to her, "My stomach is a bit upset, I'm sure it's nothing."

Ginny's eyes widened in surprise at getting an honest answer; "You always get a nervous stomach before Quidditch matches too."

Harry smiled weakly but said nothing.

As the pudding was being cleared away, Professor Dumbledore once again stood up and raised his hands in welcome. 

"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts. Let me begin by telling the first years that the Forbidden Forest is just that — forbidden. I think there are also several older students who need to be reminded of this." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as his gaze flickered over the Gryffindor table. Both Harry and Ron shifted in their seats while Ginny seemed to slouch down a bit. "Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has a list of banned items available in his office; this list now includes the entire stock of items sold at Weasley Wizarding Wheezes. He also asks that I remind you there is to be no dueling in the corridors."

Ginny was rolling her eyes, "Blimey, when Fred and George hear about this! It'll be like they were awarded the Order of Merlin, First Class!"

"They'll probably have a sale to celebrate!" Ron added.

Harry was about to join in the conversation when his stomach lurched yet again and just as suddenly his scar exploded with pain. It felt like his head was on fire and he just wanted to put it out. He reached for a glass of water as he fell to his knees but the pain became more unbearable and he dropped the glass, never realizing he'd summoned it to his hand while his wand remained secure in his pocket. He grabbed his head with both hands and let out an agonized cry before the blackness overtook him.

When Harry awoke, he knew by the glaring lights and crisp white sheets covering him that he was in the Hospital Wing again. He groaned and moved slightly as Madam Pomfrey came rushing over, "Easy now Mr. Potter, just relax," she soothed as she adjusted the blanket over him. Ron, Hermione and Ginny stood behind her, all peering anxiously over her shoulder to get a better look at Harry.

"I'm okay," he whispered shakily, "I can't believe I didn't even make it one night before ending up here! That has to be some kind of record."

"I'm glad to see you've retained your sense of humor Harry," said Professor Dumbledore, coming from behind the curtain, "Good man." He turned to the others; "I'd like a moment alone with Harry, if you don't mind. He'll be spending the night here and you'll see him in the morning."

They all went to protest but Dumbledore held up his hand, "The feast has now ended and I'm sure both of you have Prefect duties to attend to. I assure you Mr. Potter is in quite capable hands."

They obviously didn't want to go, but weren't about to argue with Professor Dumbledore. Hermione, at least, took her Prefect duties seriously and grabbed Ron by the arm. Ginny followed them out the door, giving one last look back before she left.

"You gave us all quite a scare downstairs Harry. How are you?"

Harry shrugged and thought about it a minute, he actually felt much better than he had at dinner, "A little achy, but okay."

"What happened?"

"He's happy. Beyond happy. Azkaban. I'm not sure what happened, or why that got in. I haven't had a vision in a while. The Occlumency has helped."

Dumbledore was pressing his finger horizontally along his mouth, "Hmm. Either you were simply overwhelmed by the day, or perhaps, and more likely, he was so focused on his task he didn't block you out. I take it Azkaban has been cleared?"

Harry nodded, "The Dementors have joined him."

"I feared as much. We're going to continue with your Occlumency lessons, you've made progress but there is still work to be done. I've also arranged to have both Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin come in to tutor you on some more advanced spells than are to be covered in class. I plan on having them teach you to apparate."

"I thought I had to be 17?"

"Due to your special circumstances, I've quietly obtained a waiver. I'd prefer it if you kept this to yourself Harry. It would serve you well if your enemies were unaware of this ability."

Harry nodded, _more secrets_. "Should I keep the fact I'm getting tutored a secret too?"

"I think it's for the best. I'm sorry, I know this is difficult for you. Have you shared the contents of the Prophesy with your friends?"

Harry shut his eyes tightly, "No. I don't want them in any more danger than they already are by being my friends."

"It's a large burden to bear alone Harry."

"I don't see an alternative to it. How much does the Order know?"

"Very little. They are aware the Prophesy involves you. I think you may find Lupin to be privy to more, though he hasn't confirmed this with me. Perhaps you could confide in him? I don't think it's a good idea to hold so much in Harry."

Harry remained silent.

"When you had your vision in the Great Hall, you reached for some water?"

"Yeah. My head felt like it was burning. I think they set fire to Azkaban. Why?"

"You summoned the glass without using your wand. Have you done things like that before?"

Harry furrowed his brow in concentration. "I think so. I remember vanishing some glass at the zoo once. Oh! When the Dementors attacked last summer, Dudley had knocked my wand out of my hand and I summoned it back. Why, what does that mean?"

"I'm not sure. Maybe nothing. It's common for young witches and wizards to perform wandless magic when under duress, which certainly qualifies here. You're at an older age than it should be happening, however. We'll have Remus and Tonks run some experiments. I'd like you stay here for tonight Harry, so Madam Pomfrey can keep an eye on you. You can take a sleep potion if you like."

"I'd prefer to wait until tomorrow when I'm in the dormitory, if that's all right."

Dumbledore looked at Harry appraisingly, "The nightmares are nothing to be ashamed of Harry."

"Yes sir, but I still don't like waking everyone up."

"Very well, take it tomorrow. Get some sleep here tonight, however."

With that, he patted Harry on the shoulder and swept out of the room leaving Harry to his own thoughts in the dark.

Harry wasn't sure what time it was when the nightmare woke him, but he didn't think he'd been asleep for very long. He tried to turn and settle himself but couldn't seem to clear his head. He felt like he was missing something. He went over his day, trying to think if he'd forgotten something back at Grimmauld Place or on the train, but nothing came to his mind. Suddenly, realization dawned and it was like a beacon on a foggy night — he missed Ginny. He'd grown accustomed to her soothing presence after his dreams wreaked havoc with his slumber. She was always there, offering comfort yet never demanding anything in return. Harry found it strange they never spoke about his nightmares and realized he really did owe her a proper thank you. He was surprised to realize how much he was going to miss this brief comfort, more than he ever knew he would.

Suddenly, the door to the hospital wing sprung open, though no one entered. Feeling the hairs on the back of his neck raise, Harry reached for his wand and glasses, eyes darting around the room. He relaxed an instant later as Ginny emerged from under his invisibility cloak, her long red hair standing on end from the static cling.

"Put your wand away Harry unless you plan on using it," she smiled and he blushed a moment later when he caught the double entendre.

"What are you doing here? If Filch or Pomfrey catch you, you'll end up with detention before a single night back or a single twins product used!"

Ginny smiled, "Ron gave me the cloak. He and Hermione are running around getting all the first years settled. Two of the boys already had a fist fight over the bed by the window and one of the girls is crying wanting to go home. You should have seen the panic on Ron's face when Hermione told him to comfort the girl!"

Harry laughed at the image, then sobered, as he wouldn't have wanted to have been given that job either. "Poor Ron," he said.

"Poor Ron? Try poor first year! And poor Hermione who is going to have to give the girl some comfort from Ron's comfort!"

"True," Harry agreed, "Ginny, I want to thank you."

"Thank me, for what?"

"The nightmares," Harry began lamely, then wasn't sure what to say, "You've helped."

Ginny smiled gently and took the seat next to his bed, "I'm glad I could help Harry. Nightmares are no fun, I know that better than most."

Harry looked at her quizzically, "You have them then?"

"I did for a long time after first year. They got better, although after the Third Task they came back for a while. One still gets in every once in a while."

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered.

"I think you're probably the only other person on this planet who can understand how bad they really are, that they aren't _normal_!"

"I know! I hear his laugh all the time. I hate that laugh."

"With me it's more his voice, soothing and manipulative. You know the monster he became, I know him as a boy about our age before the monster was unleashed. It was always there though. Pure evil."

Harry noticed Ginny shuddering as she said this and he reached out and grasped her hand. She grasped his back just as tightly. "What do you remember about being possessed," Harry asked quietly. He'd never asked her about this before but he suddenly needed to know. Did she feel the same intense pain he associated with the experience? Harry had been blocking his own experience out for months now, but in Ginny, he realized they shared this awful secret. If anyone would know how this felt, it would be her. He was terrified of the idea Voldemort could get inside him, manipulate him, _be a part of him_! Ginny would know, she would understand.

Ginny was very pale, she began speaking, haltingly at first, but gaining strength as she went on, "I really don't remember much. There were huge blank spots in my day, I'd snap awake and realize I was somewhere with no idea how I'd gotten there. He was so insidious about it, always knowing what to say to shake my confidence. He'd tell me people would hate me when they found out what I'd done. I was eleven! It's not like I had a whole lot of self-confidence to begin with, he completely shattered what there was. He'd talk about you a lot, how silly I was. He tried to get me to hate you and if I defended you it would infuriate him even further. He became obsessive about it. He was furious my loyalty to you wouldn't be swayed. By then I was so far in I didn't know how to get out. He could be so cruel, yet so manipulative at the same time."

"When he actually possessed you, did you feel pain?"

"No, no pain. Just...nothingness."

"Were you aware of anything happening in the Chamber?"

"No, not until I woke up and saw you there and realized he hadn't succeeded. I'd never been so happy and so terrified both at the same time in my life. You looked awful, so battered and bloody and I kept thinking it was all my fault. I thought for sure that you would blame me. You never did though, you even tried to cover for me with my parents. I don't think I've ever said thank you."

Harry squeezed her hand, but still waved it off as if it was nothing, "There was never any physical pain at all?" Her experience was different from his, _why_?

"Why do you keep asking that? What's going on with you Harry?"

Harry looked at her steadily for a long time, if there was anyone who could understand this it was Ginny but he was still afraid to share it. He'd spent his entire life hiding things; it wasn't all that easy to let it go. Taking a deep breath, he decided to try, "At the Ministry. . .Back in May. . I- He- " Harry couldn't seem to find the words. Ginny was staring at him intently, but remained silent and allowed him to continue, "He possessed me too," he finally said.

Ginny's eyes widened in surprise! "What? When? Why haven't you told anyone?"

"Dumbledore knows, he was there. He tried to get Dumbledore to kill me. The thing is, I can remember it though. I can remember everything _and it hurt_! It hurt worse than anything else I've ever experienced. Worse than I can even describe. He used me to taunt Dumbledore, but I can remember wanting Dumbledore to do it just to make the pain stop. I was completely aware of both of us. Why do you think it was different?"

Ginny was still in shock over his revelation, she hadn't even begun to process the fact that Harry had wanted to die, "I don't know. What did Dumbledore say?"

Harry sighed, "He said it was my heart that saved me, but I really don't understand what he meant. By that time, I was more focused on the fact Sirius was dead and I really didn't care what he was saying. I'm going to have to talk about it with him sooner or later, I'm just pushing for later."

Harry and Ginny were still clinging to each other's hands and they sat there just staring at one another. Finally, Ginny lay her head on Harry's shoulder and he rested his head on top of hers. They sat there for quite some time each lost in their own memories until Harry finally dozed and Ginny headed back to the Gryffindor dormitories. Harry, sleeping peacefully, didn't see the worried expression on Ginny's face as she stared at him before closing the Hospital door.

A/N: Okay, the Sorting. I made several attempts at a song for the Hat and finally decided not to subject you all to it. Trust me, they were bad! I didn't include Mark Evans; I went back and forth on this and finally decided I think the name being Evans is just a red herring. The Ministry closely watches magic around Harry and I think it would have been noticed before. This is what my gut was saying, so I went with it.

Please R/R and let me know what you think! Come on, I can tell by the number of reads that there are more of you there who aren't reviewing!! To those that do, my most heartfelt thanks! It's really appreciated.


	12. Teach Your Children Well

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Twelve

Teach Your Children Well

When Harry awoke the following morning, he didn't want to face all the questioning looks in the Great Hall so he ate his breakfast in the Hospital Wing. He figured he could face his classmates in small doses during each class rather than all at once at breakfast. Looking around at the sterile walls and crisp linens, Harry realized he'd actually spend a significant amount of his time at Hogwarts right here in this room! He remembered a time back on Privet Drive when he was about five or six. He'd been really sick and Aunt Petunia had been forced to take him to the doctor. He'd had pneumonia and spent several nights in hospital where the nurses had fussed and fawned over him. He'd never had so much attention lavished on him in his life. It was one of Harry's best childhood memories and each time he'd got sick after that he'd always hoped he'd have to go to the hospital. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon had been furious, but still it was worth it. Thinking back on it now, Harry knew those nurses must have felt sorry for him, a little kid alone in hospital. The Dursleys hadn't returned until it was time to pick him up. He didn't know that then though and enjoyed the company. Harry was so lost in the past that before he had finished his breakfast, Ron and Hermione entered the Hospital Wing. Ron handed him his timetable, "Could be worse," he sighed, "we've all got Double Charms first thing."

Harry nodded looking over his timetable. He was taking Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration and Potions. These were all the classes he needed for his Auror training. He had also signed up for Care of Magical Creatures but Dumbledore had pulled him out of that one. They were going to use that time slot for his extra Defense lessons. Of course this didn't escape Hermione's notice. "Harry, what happened to your fifth class? I thought you were taking Hagrid's class?"

Harry kept his eyes on his timetable so he didn't have to look at her when he lied, "Dumbledore wants to give me extra Occlumency lessons so I had to drop a class." _Either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives_

"So your evenings will be all free then?" Ron asked, "Excellent for when we begin Quidditch practice!"

"Er. . .No. I still have to do some evenings, not every other night anymore though."

"He's really worried about what happened to you last night at the feast, isn't he? Did you see something Harry?" Hermione queried. _But he will have power the Dark Lord knows not_

"Yeah. Azkaban has been cleared and the Dementors joined him. He was deliriously happy. Dumbledore thinks he got so caught up in it he forgot to block me."

Both of his friends caught his downcast expression and the weariness in his voice. Wanting to start classes on a good note, Ron tried to change the subject, "So what's this I hear about you dating my little sister?"

Harry choked and sprayed the remains of the Pumpkin Juice he was drinking everywhere, "What?!"

Even Hermione was grinning, "That's the rumor all over the school. Apparently Cho Chang is the one spreading it. We saw Dean Thomas giving Ginny a hard time about it at breakfast."

At Harry's horrified expression, Ron was quick to clarify, "Don't worry about Ginny, she can handle herself. She put him right in his place. She didn't deny it though."

Harry groaned, "I ran into Cho on the train and I didn't really want to talk with her. She assumed and I left without correcting her. I didn't pay it much attention, I certainly didn't think she'd announce it to anyone!"

Hermione was shaking her head, "No, you never did catch on to what Cho is all about. Don't worry about it Harry. Ginny's not upset and sooner or later they'll realize your just friends and there will be some new couple who's the hot topic." Hermione wasn't sure Harry wanted to be just friends with Ginny, so she thought she'd gauge his reaction. He didn't give her much of one, although it was obvious that the idea everyone was talking about it him again worried him greatly. 

"Come on mate, we have to get to class. No sense starting off the first day with detentions," Ron said.

They made their way to the classroom, Harry kept his eyes down and didn't meet anyone's gaze in the hallway. He could sense the looks and pointing from the other students and sighed wearily. Couldn't there ever be a year when this didn't happen? Virtually all the students in his own house had witnessed one of his attacks at some point, whether in class or in the dormitory. For the others, however, last night's display in the Great Hall was their first view of what had been printed about Harry in the Daily Prophet. He imagined that some of them were back to thinking he was mentally unstable. Ron and Hermione walked on either side of him, flanking him and trying nonchalantly to shield him. He was grateful to them for their efforts. 

NEWT classes were smaller and more intensive than the classes from previous years. They would always be partnered up with at least one other House. For Charms, it was Ravenclaw. Harry noticed Padma Patil sitting with her sister Parvati and Lavender Brown. Harry always wondered why the Patil sisters were in different houses, especially being twins. Sitting in class watching them for just a few moments answered that question for him. While Parvati laughed, flirted and chatted nonstop waiting for class to begin, her sister studiously prepared her notes and studied her outline for class. Harry glanced over at Hermione. While Hermione too had her notes ready and her books open, she was arguing animatedly with Ron at the same time. Harry turned as Neville came in and sat beside him.

"Hi Harry, how are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, how's it going Neville?"

"All right. Gran sent me an owl this morning with the book for this class. Must have forgot it." Neville smiled sheepishly.

"What did your Gran say when she met Luna," Ron asked, and Harry could tell he'd been dying to ask this question since he'd seen Neville and Luna together on the train the day before. He noticed Hermione shot Ron a glare but Ron was oblivious to it.

Neville grinned widely, "You know, it was the funniest thing. Gran made polite conversation, her usual thing, asking all kinds of questions. Luna answered very politely. But you know Luna, her answers can beunique. My Gran absolutely didn't know what to make of her! I've never seen anyone stump her the way Luna did! I'd ask her out a hundred times more just to relive that scene!"

Harry, Ron and Hermione all laughed appropriately at this statement. The idea of a conversation between Neville's prim and proper grandmother and Loony Luna Lovegood was rather entertaining.

They had their first Defense Against the Dark Arts lesson after lunch. This class was to be just Gryffindor since the entire house had signed up for the course. They were all members of the D.A. and wanted to continue to prepare for the upcoming war. Harry, Ron and Hermione got there early, eager to judge the new DADA teacher for themselves. The classroom was nearly half full already however, clearly the others had the same idea in mind. Professor Trent was sitting at her desk and smiling pleasantly as the students entered the room.

"Hello and welcome to your 6th year Defense Against the Dark Arts course. My name is Diana Trent, I'm a former auror and once a student here at Hogwarts myself. I understand there is a rumor that this position is cursed and that none of the more recent applicants have lasted more than a year. I plan on breaking that trend," she smiled warmly as she said this, "I'm going to start with the roll until I'm able to put some faces with the names. Lavender Brown?"

"Here Professor," Lavender raised her hand.

Professor Trent continued with the roll and stopped briefly when she got to Harry's name. Her eyes did the familiar upward glance to his scar, than she looked at him with a faraway dreamy expression before moving on.

"Now, I've reviewed some of the notes from last year and I must say, I'm not impressed with the level of instruction. However, I understand you are all members of a Defense group who did extremely well on your O.W.L.s, I'm very impressed and I hope to see that level of work continue. We'll be starting off with shield charms this week. Learning to put up a shield can be critical and lifesaving, but it also can severely drain your magical resources, so we're going to work on it. Yes, Hermione?"

Harry looked over to see Hermione with her hand raised, "Professor, I've heard you've spent the past several years in the United States. Were you teaching there?" Ever practical, Hermione wanted to know all there was about this new professor before letting her guard down. _Constant vigilance_, thought Harry.

"No. This is my first teaching position. I continued my work as an Auror while over there, but I missed home. When I heard about _his_ return, and the upcoming war, I decided it was time to return."

"How long have you been away?"

A far away, pained expression covered her features for a moment before she covered, "I had a life altering experience 15 years ago that resulted in the loss of several friends and I decided I needed a change of scenery. The U.S. was wonderfully freeing, but I was always a bit homesick."

Harry froze at her words, Dumbledore said Moony knew her, but nothing about his parents? Was that who she was talking about? Both Ron and Hermione glanced uneasily at Harry, noting his rigid posture, they too caught the meaning in her words.

She didn't say anymore, however, and class continued while they practiced their shield charms. When the bell rang, Ron and Hermione were out the door when Professor Trent asked Harry to wait. He sent them on their way and turned towards the woman.

"Harry, I'm sorry to stare. It's justIt's like looking into the past. The resemblance to your father is uncanny."

"So I've been told," Harry replied.

"I knew your parents well, they were good people and I was very fond of them."

Harry bristled and continued to back towards the door. He suddenly didn't want to talk to her about this at all. Visions of his father's actions in Snape's pensieve swam in his head and Harry felt very insecure about knowing nothing in regards to his parents. This stranger knew them, he didn't, and he never had. Suddenly, Harry felt an unbearable sense of loss that he couldn't explain. His face must have given something away because suddenly Professor Trent seemed very concerned, "Harry—" she reached out to put a hand on his shoulder but Harry flinched and pulled away, "I need to go," he said and nearly sprinted from the classroom.

There was still over an hour until dinner so Harry joined Ron, Hermione and Ginny in the Common Room. "What did she want?" asked Ron.

"Nothing."

They could all see the set of his jaw and shoulders, knowing he wasn't ready to talk. "I think she'll be good," Hermione said, "She's forthright and upfront and her shield instruction was quite good."

"We'll see," grumbled Ron.

"You didn't like her?"

"She was okay, not a great track record there though, is there?"

"You can't hold the mistakes the past teachers against her!"

"We'll see."

"Honestly Ron! Is it just the fact she's a woman or did she do something to earn your mistrust?"

"Just being a woman would do it!"

Even Harry knew Ron had just gone too far. Seeing the rise in both Hermione and Ginny's eyebrows, Harry knew Ron was about to get reamed. Ron knew it too and he had paled considerably.

"She knew my parents," Harry blurted, trying to save Ron but also anxious to get this off his chest. It was the first thing to come to his mind, and it worked. Ron shot him a grateful nod.

"She did?" Hermione looked at him, momentarily distracted from her ire towards Ron, "Was that who she was talking about losing 15 years ago?"

"Dunno. We never got that far."

"What did she say?"

"Just that she knew them. I sort of left after that."

"Did she say something to upset you Harry?" Ginny asked perceptively.

Harry was quiet for a minute, not sure how much he now wanted to share. "It's strange," he said quietly, "I have no way of knowing if her perceptions of them are true It's an odd sort of feeling."

"I think you should talk to Moony about her. Didn't you say Dumbledore told you he knew her?"

"Yeah, I think I will." He could see the sympathy in all their eyes, but oddly, it didn't bother him. He knew they were concerned out of friendship and he found that actually, it was a good feeling to know they were there for him when he needed them.

The next morning started out with Double Potions first thing and despite being pleased he'd gotten into the class, Harry was dreading it. He got an O on his Practical Exam, but an E on the written yet still made the class. Harry suspected either McGonagall or Dumbledore had something to do with it, and Harry was sure that wouldn't go over well with Snape. Snape hadn't returned to Grimmauld Place after the argument the first night Harry was there; and Harry suspected Dumbledore had some things to say to him over Harry's lack of preparation for Occlumency. Dumbldore never gave any hints, however, so Harry was unsure what had come of it. He'd gotten to take the Dreamless Sleep Potion the night before, he was glad he was facing Snape on a full night's sleep. He and Hermione were the only two Gryffindors taking Advanced Potions. Ron was in Divination during this class time.

When he and Hermione arrived in the dungeon, they found three Ravenclaws, Hannah Abbott alone from Hufflepuff and the rest of the class was made up of Slytherins. Harry hadn't seen Snape since their fiery encounter at Grimmauld Place and he was anxious about their reunion. Snape whirled into the classroom, his black cape flowing behind him as he made his way towards the front of the room and turned on them with a sneer. 

"Welcome to Advanced Potions. You'll find I expect a level of excellence that most of you should be able to master judging from your O.W.L. scores. Most of you," he repeated looking down at Harry. "Today we will begin mixing a batch of Veritaserum. It's a complicated mixture that should take several classes to complete. The order is very important, including the setting time between each ingredient. Be sure you haven't left until you reach a portion of the brew that requires setting for at least 24 hours. For tonight's homework I want an essay on why Veritaserum is not used in trials. The assignment is on the board. Begin." 

With that, he sat down at his desk and didn't look up again. Harry breathed a sigh of relief that Snape caught, "When the potions are completed, we'll test them. I'm sure there are some of you keeping some secrets here." Harry looked Snape straight in the eye without flinching. "Just let it go," Hermione whispered, "Don't let him goad you."

"He's not," Harry replied, "He's already been in my head, what else does he think there is to know?" Time passed agonizingly slow, but Harry was glad he had Hermione to work with and was determined not to mess up. He'd show Snape he could do this and did deserve his spot in this class. When the bell finally rang, they headed up to the Great hall to meet Ron and Ginny for lunch.

"How's Divination?" Harry asked with a grin as Ron threw himself next to him.

"That old bat! She's mental. I'd say she misses you mate, couldn't decide on which of us she'd predict death for and ended up saying the whole class had a bad aura!"

Harry laughed, "Can't say as I miss that one. Homework was never too bad though. If all else fails, you can always make it up!"

"Don't I know it," Ron grinned.

"I just came from Muggle Studies," Ginny said, "I don't get this electricity stuff at all! It seems so much more complicated than candles! I can't believe the amount of homework I've got already. It's only the second day!"

"OWL year is brutal Gin, remember how bad we had it last year? Barely ever saw the sun!"

"As I remember you kept putting off doing your homework so you got swamped at the end," Hermione said waspishly.

"And I never left detention," added Harry, rubbing the scar on his hand, the words _I will not tell lies_ were still plainly visible.

"You really should have told someone about that," Ginny said pointing to his hand. Then, turning on Ron and Hermione, "And you two as Prefects should have made sure he did! She was abusive!"

"Yeah, well, Harry was pretty abusive last year too!" Ron exclaimed.

Harry laughed outright, "Ron's right, I would have strung them up alive. I wasn't always thinking clearly last year. I'm sorry about that. I should have never taken everything out on you."

"It's all—" Hermione started before Ron broke in, "Of course you should have, that's what families do! Fred and George always take it out on me when they have bad days, unless Percy's around."

Harry smile lit his eyes from within like they hadn't seen in a long time, "Thanks Ron."

"When have you ever demanded an apology from us Harry?" Ron continued and Harry knew what he was referring to, "We've all had our disagreements. It's over and I certainly don't need an apology from you!"

Harry was truly touched by Ron's show of loyalty. Both boys reached out awkwardly as if to give each other a hug, but stopped before they made contact and each pulled their hands back to run them through their own hair. Ginny rolled her eyes but Hermione's were sparkling as she huffed tearfully, "Boys!" She reached out and grabbed both their heads in a fierce hug. Ron and Harry shared a grin over her head.

"What do you have next?" Hermione asked all three, not looking at anyone in particular.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts for me," said Ginny.

"Care of Magical Creatures," said Ron simultaneously.

"I'm off to Arithmancy, what about you Harry?"

"I've got a lesson with Dumbledore," Harry answered quietly. He was really meeting with either Moony or Tonks to begin learning to apparate, but he wasn't sure which one. He hated having to lie to his friends and found he couldn't look them in the face while doing it, particularly after the fond exchange they had just shared. As the other three headed off and promised to meet back in the Common Room, Harry pulled the Marauder's Map out of his backpack. Near the entrance to Dumbledore's office he saw a dot marking Remus Lupin standing with one called Diana Trent. So they did know each other! Harry was excited to see Moony and he had some questions about the new DADA teacher he wanted to ask. When he arrived at the stone gargoyle, however, he was alone.

"Sugar Quill," he gave the password and headed up the moving staircase. Moony was inside waiting for him.

"Harry! It's good to see you. How are classes treating you?"

"So far so good. Made it through my first Potions class without blowing anything up. Had DADA yesterday and met our new teacher."

"Yes, I just saw her. She said she thinks she upset you yesterday?"

"Did she know my parents?"

Moony seemed surprised at Harry's forthright question, "Very well actually. She was a year behind us and I dated her briefly. She and your mother were friendly. She and Sirius were not."

"She didn't like Sirius?" Harry found it was still difficult to say his name, but he was getting better at it.

"Welllll, you see Harry, Sirius had a bit of a reputation with the ladies. He kind of liked that reputation too. After they found out about it, girls didn't."

Harry nodded, Sirius was a player, that fit. He smiled fondly wishing Sirius were here now to give him some advice, "Did my father have a reputation too?"

"James? Egad no! Your father only had eyes for your mother. Always."

"And what about my mother?"

Remus hesitated a moment before answering, "She was involved with one other boy briefly, but by 7th year she and your father were an item."

Harry was quiet for a while, wanting to ask yet afraid to at the same time. There was so much about his parents he didn't know, but the little bit he'd learned last year hurt, and he thought that maybe it was better not to know. The curiosity was digging at him and Moony's silence seemed to spur him forward, "Did my parents really love each other?"

Moony laughed out loud, it seemed like such a silly question. Anyone who knew James and Lily could see the adoration shared between the two, it was a thing Lupin sometimes found himself jealous of. The idea anyone would question their love was ludicrous and he was about to give Harry a hard time until he saw the desperate vulnerability behind the young man's eyes. This was really bothering Harry and it pierced Lupin's heart that he truly didn't know. "Harry, does this have anything to do with what you saw in Snape's pensieve last spring?"

Harry blinked his eyes furiously and nodded.

"That was one brief moment in time, not the whole of who your parents were. You can't judge your parents on that one afternoon. Harry, if I was to borrow Dumbledore's pensieve and put some of my own memories of your parents in there, would you want to see them? Again, they will be biased towards my experience, but still, I think I knew them better."

Harry nodded eagerly, he'd love to see more memories of his parents, see some kind of evidence that they did care for each other and that his father didn't stay the bully he'd been at 15.

"Okay, I'll talk to him about it. But for now, we've got to get moving on your lesson. We're just going to work on the theory today, when we're ready for some experiments, we'll head down to the Room of Requirement. You can't apparate in or out of Hogwarts, but that room can be set up so you can move about within it. When we're ready for more long distance travel, we'll have to go into Hogsmeade. That's not for a few more weeks."

"So that's why Fred and George can apparate within Grimmauld Place but not into it?"

"They figured that one out, did they? Figures," Remus said with obvious amusement.

Harry was nervous about splinching himself, but eager to get started too, "Let's give it a go!" The time passed amazingly quickly and Harry was shocked when Moony announced he had to be going. "Your friends will be looking for you and I need to get out of the castle before the dinner rush. Have a nice weekend Harry and I'll see you next week."

The weekend was quiet, although Harry had a significant amount of homework, it was manageable and not as overwhelming as the previous year. Ginny was snowed under and he barely saw or spoke to her at all. He received an owl from Fred and George on Saturday asking if they could borrow the Marauders Map. They were trying to put together a similar kind of project and wanted to know if they could look it over. Harry hated to part with it, but knew the twins could be trusted. They were the ones who gave it to him, after all, so he sent if off with Hedwig.

Harry and Ron were both anxious for Quidditch to resume but Professor McGonagall had yet to announce when the tryouts could begin. On Sunday news came of yet another attack on Diagon Ally. Although Gringotts was well protected, several other establishments were burned and some aurors lost their lives. Nothing in Knockturn Ally was touched. The attack was just outside the Ministry and it appeared Voldemort was flaunting how close he could get. Harry glanced at the staff table; it was starkly empty this morning. Professor Dumbledore wasn't there, neither were Professors McGonagall, Snape or Trent. Harry assumed Snape was either with Voldemort or reporting to the Order, he wondered about Trent though. He hadn't asked Moony if she was now a member of the Order?

The day was a warm one and Indian Summer was making an appearance. Harry tried to let his fears go as he lazed by the lake with his friends, watching the giant squid. Many students had their shoes off and were wading at the water's edge. Harry sat with Ron, Hermione, Neville, and even Ginny and Luna had been persuaded to drop the books and join them for a while. Harry tried to keep up with their banter but couldn't help that his mind kept drifting back to Diagon Ally. There had been civilian casualties too and he couldn't help but think that any death that happened before his final confrontation with Voldemort was his responsibility. He knew the others would argue with him if he told them this, but he couldn't help how he felt. These people died because he wasn't ready to face his fate. He was aware that Dumbledore would argue this point with him too, and he tried not to let the guilt overwhelm him. He was struggling with it though and wished he didn't have to keep so many secrets. He felt like his head was going to explode. The others noticed his distance and each tried to draw him out whenever that lost, far away look would appear in his eyes to no avail.

As he settled in to bed that night, Harry glanced over at a sleeping Dean and Seamus. He'd awakened them both the previous two nights and wasn't looking forward to a repeat. They hadn't been pleased with him the second time. He was going to ask Ron to cast a silencing charm when Neville informed him that they had put them around their own beds already. He told Neville to do the same but Neville declined, he'd be there if Harry needed anything. Harry was touched by Neville's loyalty. He had been surprised by Ginny sneaking into the dorm both nights and checking on him after his nightmares. None of the other boys had mentioned it so he didn't think she'd been spotted. He didn't want her to get in trouble, and he also didn't want to deal with the embarrassment if she got caught so he lent her his invisibility cloak. He knew where to find it if he needed it, and he didn't want to give up his time with her. In his entire life, no one else had ever managed to make him feel so secure just by their mere presence. That security was hard to come by these days and he'd fight for it fiercely if he had to.

Classes started back up on Monday. Harry was worried about seeing Professor Trent after blowing her off the previous week, but she didn't mention it. In fact, she seemed much colder towards Harry and barely even looked at him. Harry thought he'd probably insulted her and should apologize, but he really wasn't ready to talk with her about his parents so he let it go. She briefly touched again on shield charms, but quickly moved on to more offensive spells. When asked what this had to do with defense, she'd responded that if they were going to duel Death Eaters, they'd have to know how to attack as well as defend. Hermione was still very taken with the new instructor and she and Ron kept bickering back and forth about it. Harry still hadn't made up his mind but she wasn't trying to block the D.A. and that made him happy.

A/N: Okay, there you go! Please R/R and let me know what you think! Thank you so much to all whom reviewed the last chapter. I try and respond to everyone, but if you don't like to sign in, know I'm still grateful!

I'm off to the Caribbean so this update is early. I'll be back next week and work to get another chapter out then! By this time on Thursday, I'll be sitting on a beach with a tropical drink with a little umbrella in my hand. The only thing that could make it better would be having Book 5 to read!


	13. Put Me In Coach!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Thirteen

Put Me In Coach!

Quidditch tryouts were announced for the following weekend. Ron was manic in his glee and even Harry found himself avoiding getting into yet another Quidditch conversation with him. Ron's enthusiasm had gone so over-the-top, Harry feared no one from Gryffindor would show up at the tryouts in fear of the team's new captain. Then again, they showed up for Oliver Wood and he certainly was no less enthusiastic about the sport. In an effort to focus on something besides Quidditch, Harry had begun making preparations for the D.A. meeting to be held the following week. Professor McGonagall had agreed to sponsor the club and it was opened to all students. Ron had been horrified at the thought of the Slytherins being able to join but Harry didn't think any would come anyway. He'd posted the flyers and set his galleon to alert all the former members.

On Friday afternoon, Harry had another apparition lesson with Moony. They were going to meet in the Room of Requirement and Harry was going to try and apparate for the first time. He was both thrilled and nervous. He'd enjoyed spending time with Moony and they'd developed an easy camaraderie. Harry still found him difficult to talk to sometimes and often held back asking things he wished he could just say. He had yet to bring up the Prophesy and was determined this would be the day. 

His nightmares had begun to improve and Harry found he could actually go a night here and there without his sleep being interrupted. He hadn't had a vision since the Welcome Feast and he was cautiously optimistic that the Occlumency was working. The Prophesy, however, was still weighing heavily on his mind. The more he'd been able to pull himself together and start focusing on his schoolwork, the more the panic would seem to set in. It was little things like a casual comment about the future, or overheard musings about the upcoming war that would make Harry's heart beat faster and a cold sweat to moisten his brow. Sometimes he was sure his friends could hear his heart pounding and see the utter terror in his eyes. _How was he going to do this_? Harry didn't think he could. In all likelihood, he would be dead before he ever had the chance to graduate. But if he was dead, all hope for the future of his friends, of the Muggles and Wizards alike would be lost. If he couldn't find a way to do this thing, Voldemort would win. Harry found he kept having to force his mind away from it or the panic would completely overwhelm him. He'd reached a point that he was desperate to talk to someone about it and hoped it wouldn't be too difficult to approach Moony.

Steeling himself, Harry made his way towards the Room of Requirement. Moony was waiting for him just outside, "Harry! How are you? You're looking well, this seems better," Moony said, pointing to Harry's eye. The black and blue coloring had faded leaving the area just a tint yellowish.

"Yeah, doing okay. How are things with you? I saw Tonks the other day, she seemed happy."

Moony chose to ignore Harry's bait and it made Harry's grin widen even further. "How's Ginny doing?" Moony returned with a sly smile and it was Harry's turn to falter.

"GoodI meanShe's a bit swamped with OWL preparation. She's trying out for Chaser on the Gryffindor team tomorrow so we're going to practice some after dinner tonight," Harry knew he was babbling but couldn't seem to stop himself.

Moony wasn't even bothering to hide his smile anymore but decided to let Harry off the hook, "Okay then, are you ready for this?"

The room was set up open and sparse with a single bookcase dividing the center of the room, "We're going to try and move from one side of the bookcase to the other. Ready for a go?"

Harry took a deep breath and plowed on before he lost his nerve, "Can I ask you something first Moony?"

Detecting the serious, hesitant tone in Harry's voice, Moony stopped and looked at him intently, "Anything Harry."

"Do youD'you know about the Prophesy," Harry's voice was nothing more than a strained whisper.

Remus sat down on the floor and leaned his back against the bookcase, "I do," he sighed, "Sirius told me the night he showed up on my doorstep after the Third Task."

Harry sunk down on the floor next to Moony and drew his knees up protectively against his chest, "Sirius knew?" This was news to Harry.

"Your parents told him when they asked him to be your Godfather."

"H-How did they learn about it?"

"I believe Dumbledore told them."

Harry nodded, taking this in. It would make sense, he wondered if the Longbottoms had been warned about the danger to Neville too? How had his parents taken the news, he wondered. Told that their new infant son was destined to kill or be killed by the most powerful Dark Lord of their time. A Dark Lord who wouldn't want to allow that infant enemy to grow up. Harry felt a tight constriction in his chest; "This was the reason they died!" he blurted. That thought, though never spoken, had been tormenting Harry's mind for months. Voldemort killed his parents trying to get to him; he went after them because of him. They had both died because of him.

Moony put his hands on Harry's shoulders and shook them gently; "None of this is your fault Harry! They died trying to protect their child, as any loving parent would! Prophesy or no they would have given their lives to keep you safe!"

"Voldemort never would have gone after them if it hadn't been for me!"

"Yes he would. Maybe not then, maybe it would have been later, but he would have tried eventually anyway. Your parents were heavily involved with the Order long before they knew of this Prophesy. They believed he had to be stopped, for their own future, for everyone's future, for your future. They wanted the best for you Harry, you meant everything to them."

Harry swiped viciously at his uncooperative eyes before any tears could leak, "How am I going to do this?"

"With help. You are not alone, you never will be alone. It may be your destiny to take him down in the end, but you'll have a fiercely loyal group of us surrounding you when you do it. Never feel alone Harry, we all want to be there for you."

This was the most passionate Harry had ever seen or heard his former teacher and he was slightly taken back by the emotion. He stared at Moony for a moment before stuttering, "I-I think I'm getting b-better at Occlumency." This had been Harry's greatest mistake and the guilt of it was still nearly all consuming. Although Ginny's words had helped him see that he wasn't entirely to blame, he couldn't banish that responsibility entirely. If he had just learned to block Voldemort out when he had the chance, Sirius might still be here. He felt suffocated by that thought.

"I know, Dumbledore has told me of your progress. I'm afraid you still may need to let Snape have a go though."

Harry's eyes widened in alarm, "What?"

"Snape is a master Legilimens Harry, and no one has spent more time utilizing it in the presence of Voldemort than Snape. It will be an excellent way to test you and you won't be alone. I'll be in the room with you."

Harry never wanted to let Snape into his head again, but he'd promised himself that he was going to do everything within his power to see this through. So help him, if this is what it took, so be it. "When?" he asked simply.

Moony seemed surprised at his easy acceptance, "Not yet. You still need some more practice with Dumbledore so you won't be tricked again."

"Tricked into costing someone else their life," Harry whispered visualizing yet again Sirius falling through the veil. He could no longer stop the tears from falling and he didn't even bother to try. Lupin went to reach his arm around Harry's shoulders but pulled back again before making contact. He stood up abruptly and began to pace, "You were used Harry and I know nothing I say will alleviate what you're feeling. Si-Sirius would never want you to suffer this way."

Harry hugged his knees closer to his chest and pressed his face to them, he wished Moony hadn't pulled away but didn't know how to get the closeness back. He began to rock back and forth slightly trying to master himself but it only seemed to make Moony retreat even further, "Look Harry, we can't have this lesson today. You're not in the right frame of mind to apparate, you'll only end up splinching yourself. Continue to practice the spells you worked on with Tonks and we'll try this again next week. Are you going to be okay?"

Harry nodded mutely. In truth, he didn't know if he was okay and he was beginning to think this talk had only made things worse. Moony had nearly sprinted from the room and Harry shakily gathered himself together and made his way back to the dormitory. He'd promised to go flying with Ginny after dinner and put her through her paces for the tryout tomorrow. He didn't think he'd be able to eat so he jotted her a quick note telling her to meet him on the Quidditch pitch when she was through. Grabbing his beloved Firebolt, the first gift Sirius had given him, he dragged his heavy heart outside.

Harry hadn't been on his broomstick since the middle of last year and holding it now he couldn't help but be reminded of Sirius. This broom had been an anonymous Christmas gift in his third year. Little did Harry know then how out of his control his life was about to spin. He stood on the pitch for a moment, the broom in his hands; just staring at it and letting the memories wash over him. 

Mounting the broom and taking flight, Harry felt the familiar exhilaration of being in the air. He'd always gotten such a thrill out of flying. There was something wonderfully exhilarating and freeing about being in the air. Harry could be anyone or anything he wanted when he was up here, and the world below ceased to exist, none of it mattered for a little while. As he swooped and dove through the air, his mind replayed the conversation with Moony. 

Sirius had known of the Prophesy too and never told him. When Sirius had mentioned a weapon that Voldemort wanted last year, they had all assumed it was something hidden at Hogwarts. It struck him how right they were, _he was that weapon_! And Sirius knew it all along! He couldn't help that it felt like a betrayal but he didn't want to be angry with Sirius. He couldn't be angry with him. But he was. He was angry he'd left him_. How could you leave me_?' he railed at the sky, _I need you_.' 

He knew it was childish to feel angry with Sirius for dying, it wasn't like Sirius had planned it. Hell, it was Harry's own fault. But he also couldn't help that he felt abandoned, _again_. He remembered feeling this way as a child on Privet Drive. Alone, unwanted, unloved. He'd thought his parents had died in a car accident then. They'd left him to rot with the Dursleys and sometimes, just sometimes in the darkness of his cupboard; he'd rail at them for abandoning him. He hadn't been that lonely little boy in a long time, but somehow knowing it didn't make any sense to feel that way wasn't helping now. 

Harry continued to zoom around the pitch letting the wind dry the tears he couldn't stop. For someone who prided himself on never giving in to them, these days Harry couldn't seem to stop them. He'd opened the floodgates that night with Ginny and now it seemed anything could set him off. He had no idea how long he'd been out there flying from one end of the pitch to the other, but eventually he noticed Ginny sitting in the stands, her broomstick lying across her legs. He flew down to where she was and took the seat next to her, "You made it."

Ginny looked at his profile, he kept his eyes guardedly away from her and she knew he was upset, "Yeah. We missed you at dinner."

Harry didn't reply, "What would you like to do?"

"I dunno. Feel like playing Keeper and seeing if I can get this by you," she asked, tossing a Quaffle in the air.

"Okay. I'm not very good at playing Keeper though, you probably should have asked Ron."

"NO!" Ginny seemed startled, "I don't want him to know I'm out here! Besides, I don't think he'd help me anyway. Can't have the team captain playing favorites and all."

"Then it's just you and me. Come on!"

Ginny followed him out and they spent some time tossing the Quaffle. Harry was right, he wasn't a very good Keeper and Ginny had no problem scoring on him. "If Ron would just put you in tomorrow, I'm sure I'd have no problem making the team!" she laughed.

Harry turned on her in mock seriousness, "Are you suggesting I'm not up to the task?"

"Are you suggesting you are?"

"Only if we're playing a team who hasn't yet reached school age," he joked, laughing outright for the first time that day.

"And don't have brooms. Even than I wouldn't guarantee your chances!"

Now Harry thought maybe he ought to be offended, "Hey!"

Ginny just laughed and began racing toward the Quidditch shed, "Last one there has to put the equipment away," she called. She was nearly there as she finished the sentence and Harry's competitive spirit kicked in. Lying flat against his broom until they were nearly one, he forced it forward. The superior broom caught up to her with relative ease and they reached the door together.

"Not bad Potter, not bad at all. I guess it's just the Keeper spot that doesn't suit you!"

"Looks like we're both putting this stuff away then, eh?"

Ginny smiled and nodded at him, her cheeks were flushed pink with exhilaration and the cool night air. Harry thought she looked amazingly pretty, "Thanks Gin."

"For what?" she asked, her eyes twinkling merrily.

"I needed some fun today."

"Pleased to be of service sir," she replied. Then, laughing, they took each other's hand and made their way up to the castle, neither letting go until they reached the heavy double doors.

The next morning, it was Ron who woke Harry up bright and early. Harry had been having a peaceful night and wasn't thrilled to be awoken just yet. "Come on," Ron shook his shoulder roughly, "Out of that bed and down to breakfast in fifteen Potter!"

Harry clamped the pillow over his head, "I don't wanna," he whined.

Ron ripped the pillow from his hands and threw it across the room, "Move."

Harry climbed out of bed glaring at Ron, "Maybe you're paying more attention in Divination than you think cuz I swear you're channeling Oliver Wood right now!"

Ron puffed up like a peacock taking Harry's words as a compliment rather than an insult, "Let's hope we can build a team as good as his then!"

The boys made their way down to the Great Hall where Hermione was already sitting with her nose in a book. "Morning," they greeted.

"Looks like you have a good day for tryouts, I saw a bunch of people already heading down to the pitch. Ginny went with them."

"Are you coming to watch?" Ron asked.

"Of course," answered Hermione as the two leaned in to share a morning kiss.

Harry quickly turned his gaze the other way and grabbed a slice of toast and a few pieces of bacon, "I'll see you there mate!" He was happy for Ron and Hermione, and pleased their new relationship seemed to stop a lot of their bickering, but it still made him uncomfortable to watch them kiss. He also realized it wasn't just Ron and Hermione, it was anyone. Neither of the Dursleys had ever been overly affectionate with each other (thank Merlin for small favors), and they'd certainly never shown the least amount of it to him. Harry found he was just very uncomfortable with any kind of public displays and tended to make himself scarce when they began.

Harry joined Katie Bell, Andrew Kirke and Jack Sloper already on the pitch. He could see Ginny in line with the other candidates and he smiled to her. She gave him a thumbs up. The team started lining people up and when he arrived, he told each of them to watch for people they thought would be good in their own positions. Ron hoped to get a full reserve team out of the lot as well. Harry looked over the lines, there were a lot of people trying out, maybe they'd get lucky. He was proud of the Gryffindors, from the looks of it; Ron hadn't scared a lot of people off with his rabid enthusiasm.

Harry took off and took his place high above the pitch. He watched the tryouts below, Ron was putting all the potential chasers through their paces trying to get goals past him. He stopped and watched as Ginny successfully beat him for the second time. Watching Ron's ears redden, Harry couldn't help cheering her on! Harry noticed the little first year Ron had pointed out at the Welcome Feast; Tracy Bennett was her name. She was small but quick and seemed to be a natural in the air. She'd make a good reserve and possibly be ready to take over Katie's position next year. When Ron finally called for a team huddle, Harry flew down to join them.

"Well, what do we all think?" Ron asked.

Katie answered first, "Ginny for sure." Andrew, Jack and Harry all nodded while Ron grinned, "Good, then I won't be getting a Howler from Mum."

"And I get to keep my spot," Harry exclaimed, pretending to wipe his brow.

Ron looked at him in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"Well, if Ginny didn't become Chaser, technically, she's the first round Seeker. I'd have to take the reserve spot."

Ron paled, that was obviously never even one of his considerations, "Okay, Ginny is one, what about the other?"

Again Katie answered, "I think Holly Proctor is the best choice." Holly was a third year with a long blonde ponytail and an innocent looking face. She was super fast and, after Ginny, scored the most points.

"What about the reserves?" asked Ron.

"Dennis Creevey for a Beater spot," said Jack.

"Tracy Bennett could work as a Chaser," said Harry, "with Ginny as Seeker."

"Patrick Nelson for Keeper," said Katie all at the same time.

"Okay," answered Ron, "Tracy Bennett is only a first year, but since she's just on the reserves, we don't really need to worry about her own broom. Listen up!" he yelled to all the candidates, "In the two open Chaser positions, we have Ginny Weasley and Holly Proctor. For a reserve Chaser — Tracy Bennett; Reserve Keeper — Patrick Nelson; Reserve Beater — Dennis Creevey; and Reserve Seeker — Ginny Weasley. The rest of you, thanks very much for trying out!"

Several disappointed faces made their way back to the castle while an excited Ginny wrapped her arms around her brother's neck and pecked him on the cheek, "I knew you'd make the right decision, brother dear."

Ron blushed but hugged her back, "Easy choice Gin, you earned your spot!"

Ginny beamed with pleasure as Hermione joined them on the pitch, "Nice work Ginny, congratulations."

"Thanks Hermione."

"Okay team, first practice is tomorrow. I've reserved the pitch for two hours right after lunch," Ron announced as they broke for the day. Harry was happy he was going to be getting back into the routine of Quidditch practices. He hoped the turn out for the upcoming D.A. meeting would turn out just as well.

A/N: Back from Grand Cayman and I had a wonderful time! Thanks for all the well wishes, I highly recommend a visit there! Long flights allowed me to get some work done on this chapter and a future one that I think is really shaping up nicely!

Please R/R and let me know! I know I have Harry emotional again but I still feel it's part of his growing process. He's slowly learning to let people in. Next chapter talks a bit more about that


	14. Rumors

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Fourteen

Rumors

Ron was awoken by the sound of a pleading whimper. Straining in the dark, he heard it again, "No, please no." Ron sighed, Harry was dreaming again. He wished his friend could find some peace. He knew there was something bothering Harry but as yet Harry hadn't let on what was going on with him. At first he thought it was something to do with Sirius, but now he wasn't so sure. Ron suspected it had more to do with You-Know-Who. "Have to protect them," Harry pleaded in his sleep. Although Ron knew Harry was somehow inexplicably tied to the evil one, he didn't understand the pressure Harry put on himself. It wasn't like bringing the Dark Lord down was Harry's responsibility. After all, he was still just a kid. He knew Harry always took whatever You-Know-Who did to heart and felt an overwhelming sense of guilt about it. 

While he sympathized with Harry's plight, he couldn't fully understand it either. He didn't understand why the evil git was so obsessed with Harry and wanted to kill him so badly. In the end, Dumbledore and the Order would win, they would bring You-Know-Who down; Ron needed to believe that. While he was exceedingly proud of his family, well all except for Percy, and all they were doing to help, he was worried about them too. They were deeply involved in all of this and Ron was fearful if they all would make it out alive. The danger of being such a large family involved in a war. Ron heard Harry gasp and sit up, "Are you all right, mate?"

"Yeah," came Harry's shaky reply and he knew that his friend was lying.

Ron heard movement and he peeked his head outside of the bed hangings. Harry had pulled his own hangings aside and was fastening a dressing gown over his pajamas. Harry saw Ron starting at him, "I'm not going to get back to sleep for a while, I'm going to do some reading in the Common Room."

"Want some company?"

"I'm okay Ron, thanks. I've got some preparation to do for the D.A. meeting tonight anyway."

"Okay Harry. Let me know if you change your mind."

Harry padded down the dormitory stairs into the Common Room. The fire was just about out so he stirred the embers and added another log. His nightmares had strengthened again since his talk with Moony and Harry was sure it was just his subconscious struggling with the new information. He was tired of waking Ron all the time and weary of the sympathetic looks his roommates gave him. Ron had been great and never uttered a word of complaint, but Harry knew it wasn't fair to him. It shouldn't be Ron's responsibility to keep him company after he had them too; he'd lost enough sleep already. Harry curled up on his favorite chair and pulled out his notes for the D.A. He tried to study them, he really did, but his gaze kept being drawn to the flames and his mind to the nightmare he'd just escaped from. 

He'd been facing Voldemort, battling him with everything he had. Voldemort was just batting Harry's curses away as if they were nothing more than annoying insects. He smiled lazily and laughed at Harry's efforts. That laughter went on and on as Harry's frustration grew. Soon, Voldemort had pulled out an odd, circular device and silkily asked if Harry wanted to play a little game. Harry instantly knew he didn't but couldn't stop himself from reaching over and giving the wheel a spin. It stopped on Neville's face. Neville looked in horror at Harry as Voldemort cast the killing curse. "Don't you just adore Wizard Roulette?" Voldemort hissed as Harry spun the wheel again, this time landing on Ron. Hermione. Mrs. Weasley. Bill. GinnyOne after the other they were all dying because of him yet nothing he tried was working. He couldn't stop himself from spinning the wheel. And all the while that insidious laugh continued to echo. 

Harry feared this was more than a nightmare, what if it was a premonition? What if somehow Harry did manage to stop him in the end? Would there be anyone left? If Harry managed to live but without any of the people closest to him, did he really want to? Was that winning? What if that's how it ended, Voldemort killed all the Weasleys, Hermione and Moony but Harry lived and murdered him in the end? Then he'd go back to the Dursleys alone and spend the rest of his life with them? That couldn't be the way this ended! There had to be a way! There just had to. 

Harry didn't want to think he was nothing more than a tool, a means to an end one way or the other. Who was he? Harry James Potter, only son of James and Lily. Was this to be his only purpose, his only reason for being? Was this his only reason for existing? If he died, they all died. Simple as that. If he lived but became a murderer, could he live with himself afterwards? Harry's head was aching and he dropped it into his hands, rubbing at his temples.

He hadn't heard Ginny coming down the stairs or kneeling on the floor next to his chair. She rested her hand on his shoulder and he was startled by the touch.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you," she murmured.

"S'okay. I'm just jumpy."

"Want to talk about it?"

Did he want to talk? Yes, more than anything. But he couldn't. Talking to Moony had only made it worse and he couldn't put Ginny in danger like that. He couldn't tell her without telling Ron and Hermione either and he wasn't ready to make any public announcements on his fate. Ron would panic completely and Hermione would be horrorstruck at first. Next she'd run to the library determined somehow to find a solution to this whole mess. Hermione would never believe the library could let her down. Wearily he shook his head, "I'm sorry Ginny, I can't."

"You don't have to Harry, but there's a big difference between can't and won't."

He understood what she was getting at, but truly believed he was doing the right thing, "I know that. It's still can't."

Ginny nodded but he could tell she wasn't happy. He could see the worry in her eyes and it touched him. Moony had been right about one thing — he wasn't alone. She, Ron and Hermione were all worried about him; they would be there when he needed them. Neville and Luna too, he really did have wonderful friends. He didn't know what it was he did to deserve them, but he was truly grateful to have them. Harry scooted off the chair and sat down on the floor next to her in front of the fire. Leaning his shoulder into hers he said, "Thanks for being here though. I can't tell you how much it helps."

"We all want to be here for you Harry, but you have to let us in. We can't fully help you if we don't know what's going on."

"I know I can be difficult. I'm not trying to be. There are certain things happening in my life that I truly can't share with you right now. I have to work some things out before I can do that."

"I hope you're sharing them with someone Harry. It does you no good to bottle so much up."

"You sound like Hermione."

"Well she's right. She's not the smartest witch in her year for nothing!"

"I don't bottle stuff up."

Ginny just gave him a scathing look and didn't even bother to comment.

"I don't!" Harry insisted.

"Harry, you're not fooling anyone, we can all see how troubled you are. You can't take on the world alone and turn all your emotions about it inward. You have to let it out. Scream, cry, rant just tell someone! If you don't, you'll just end up like Snape, bitter and hostile. Alone. You've been through more than anyone I know and I wish you'd just let us help you."

"I tried talking to Moony the other day," Harry whispered.

Ginny could see the hurt that had crossed Harry's features and desperately wanted to soothe it away. How could she if he wouldn't tell her what was wrong? "Did it not go well?"

Harry shook his head, dropping his gaze; "He's hard to talk to."

Ginny gave an ironic smirk, "Yeah, I know someone like that."

Harry caught the sarcasm and a reluctant grin spread across his features, "Touché."

"I think maybe he has trouble getting close to people. Being a werewolf, he's probably always had to pull away. I'm sure it's hard for him to change the habits of a lifetime even if he wants to." Ginny knew what she was talking about, she had trouble getting close to people too. Other than her family, she'd shut everyone out after her experiences first year and it was only last year that she'd started letting them back in again. She felt she was better for it now too, a stronger person.

Harry was quiet, thinking about her words, they made sense to him, but he still didn't know what to do about it.

"I think he's a lot like you," Ginny continued, "you tend to pull away when anyone tries to get close too. I think maybe sometimes you want to let people in, but don't quite know how to handle it. Maybe if you think of what you would feel like in a given situation, you might understand Remus better."

"He was close to Sirius, I know they talked."

"And you were close to Sirius and would talk to him too. Maybe Sirius was just easy to open up to. You both have that bond and connection, I'm sure you can find a way to build on it."

The warmth of the fire was making Harry sleepy, he knew they should get back up to their rooms, but he was comfortable and this was nice. Ginny's words made a lot of sense and were very comforting. He was feeling very drowsy and he allowed his thoughts to stray. Maybe he and Moony could try again, maybe she was right and both he and Moony were just too reserved for their own good. Ginny lay her head on his shoulder and he enjoyed the warmth of feeling her there. He lay his head on top of hers and shut his eyes. It would be all right just for a few minutes more

They were awakened the next morning by the scathing voice of Dean Thomas; "Well doesn't this look cozy for a pair of _friends_!" 

Harry blinked in confusion and blearily looked around the room. He and Ginny were still sitting on the floor, snuggled very close together_. They must have slept down here_! Waking fully with a start, both blushed and pulled away as Harry found his glasses lying next to him. Seeing clearly, he looked at the disgruntled face of Dean and the amused looks of Seamus, Neville and Ron plus several other faces already in the Common Room. Hermione was curled up on the couch behind them and Harry jumped at the sound of her voice, "I was going to wake them, but they just looked so cute sleeping there peacefully."

Harry's face was now uncomfortably warm and he looked at Ginny in a panic. She seemed to have regained some of her composure, though her cheeks were still very pink, "Thank you for that bit of consideration Hermione," she said sarcastically." This seemed to only amuse the older girl further and Harry couldn't ever remember seeing Hermione so giggly! "I've always got your best interests at heart Ginny, you know that," she said sweetly. Ginny glared at her and Harry jumped up off the floor. "I'm going to take a quick shower," he said, nearly running up the stairs.

"We're going to talk about this later Potter," Ron's voice called up the stairs, but Harry could hear the amusement. Harry swore under his breath, how could he have let that happen? The rumors Cho Chang started had just about died down with no evidence of Harry and Ginny dating, now this would bring all that back up again. Harry hated being the center of attention no matter what the cause but he certainly didn't want the focus to be on his love life, or lack thereof! He'd have to talk to Ginny about it later, for now he was going to be late for class.

Thankfully, after a rocky start, Harry's day went relatively smoothly. Owing mostly to the fact he didn't have Potions that day. Lessons with Snape were always harrowing and more often than not, left Harry with a headache that had nothing to do with his scar. The Potions Master was always ready to pounce on the slightest error and daily tested Harry's resolve not to mess up in class. He was meticulous with his essays and followed instructions to the letter. Even Hermione was impressed with his progress. Snape, however, seemed even more irritated by him, if that were possible. From the biting comments he would make, Harry was sure Snape had been pressured into accepting Harry into the class. He couldn't help but wonder who had what over Snape or what kind of bargain had been struck to allow him to take the class. He assumed it was either McGonagall or Dumbledore himself, but neither was owning up to the deed.

Harry was doing well in his other classes as well. The workload was heavy but bearable and he was managing to fit in Quidditch practice as well as preparing for the D.A. He remembered Sirius telling him that sixth year was the best of all. In between OWLs and NEWTs so the studying wasn't as intense, but still old enough to have enough privileges to get into plenty of mischief.

His relationship with Professor Trent was still strained, but not difficult. She was cold and distant but didn't single him out or embarrass him in class like Snape did. Hermione suggested that since Harry was bothered by her knowledge of his parents, maybe he affected her too. Maybe Harry had reminded her of some painful memories she'd rather not think about and she was trying to avoid him the same way he was she. That made sense to Harry and he had no problem keeping their relationship distant. She continued teaching a variety of spells that could be useful in battle, but nothing Harry could use to take down the Big Guy. Hermione hated when he joked like that, but Harry found it made things easier to deal with. For him anyway, lightening the situation at all seemed to help.

Tonks was good for this. She was always fun and her Defense lessons left him grinning right through dinner afterwards. She helped him work on his Shield Charm until it was now strong enough to withstand a volley of several curses. When Tonks had suggested getting into a practice dual with Malfoy to see how long he could hold it in a real situation, Harry wasn't sure if she was joking or not. They had tried to work on some wandless magic. Just a few simple spells, but Harry had no luck at all making anything happen. They started each lesson with a few attempts but Harry was growing frustrated and Tonks suspected his being able to perform wandless magic was a fluke. Since most young witches and wizards could do it when upset, it just might be lasting a bit longer in Harry. He'd had a lot to be upset about in his life. Harry ignored that comment and continued to try, but short of getting a Dementor to go after him and see if he could do it again, he didn't know what else to try.

The first meeting of the D.A. was scheduled for seven o'clock that night and Harry wasn't sure how many people would attend. Nearly all of the previous members who were still at Hogwarts said they would be coming and announcements went up in the Common Rooms of all the Houses in case anyone else would like to join. They'd opened it to fourth year and above.

Harry got to the Room of Requirement early and was rapidly scanning his notes. Ron, Hermione and Ginny had come up to keep him company and were amused by how nervous he seemed. "You've done this before mate," Ron commiserated.

"You'll be fine Harry," Hermione soothed, "You just have to get into your routine again. We'll all be here to help if you need us."

The door opened and the rest of the Gryffindors arrived. They all had noticed Harry's nerves growing as the day wore on and got there early in a show of support, even Dean Thomas who was still glaring at Ginny over the incident that morning. For her part, Ginny didn't seem the least bit put out by him. In fact, she barely acknowledged his presence. Harry had asked Hermione why Dean seemed so angry at Ginny; after all he was the one who had broken up with her. Hermione explained that Dean thought the reason Ginny was being so distant all summer was that she was already getting involved with Harry. Harry didn't know how Hermione figured these things out so easily about other people but had taken so long to get together with Ron. He was glad she helped him though, but he wished sometimes that she could explain these things _before_ he got himself in trouble.

Ernie MacMillan, Hannah Abbott and Susan Bones arrived next, followed closely by Anthony Goldstein, Michael Corner and Cho Chang. Cho smiled brightly at Harry but narrowed her eyes as she noticed Ginny sitting beside him.

The room began to fill with several new students and Professor McGonagall was taking down names as they entered. Harry heard a low growl come from Ron and looked up to see Draco Malfoy entering the room with his trademark swagger. Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy Parkinson followed him inside. The sneer seemed to melt off Malfoy's face as he realized Professor McGonagall was there and planned on staying, "Yes Mr. Malfoy, I'll be the staff representative for this club. It's an official school club this year so some things have changed."

"I knew it couldn't be Potter teaching it," Malfoy said loudly to his bodyguards, at least that's what Harry thought they resembled.

"On the contrary Mr. Malfoy," Professor McGonagall interrupted, "Mr. Potter is indeed the instructor. I'm here merely as a representative and to assist him if needed."

Harry smiled and shut the door. Taking a deep breath, he approached the podium that had been set up in the center of the room, "To those of you who are returning, welcome back! To our new members, I'm happy you joined us. We started this group last year in order to better prepare us for our OWLs. As you may recall, the level of instruction last year in Defense was not up to standards. Although that situation has improved, we," Harry said nodding his head in the direction of Hermione and Ron, "felt that due to the upcoming war and the return of Voldemort, we should continue preparing to defend ourselves." There were several gasps as Harry said his name, but he ignored them and pressed on. "We were working on Patronus charms when we were forced to break up last year so I thought we'd pick right back up there. As you're all aware, the Dementors have left Azkaban and knowing how to cast a Patronus could be critical."

"Come on Potter," Pansy interrupted, "What student is actually going to be able to cast a Patronus?"

"I think you'll find several of them in here who already can. Hermione, why don't you help anyone from last year that was already able to do it over there. Those of you who are new or still having trouble with this, follow me and we'll begin over here."

As they began work on the theory of casting a Patronus, Harry prepared to show them how it was done. Closing his eyes, he envisioned Sirius telling him he could come live with him and leave the Dursleys forever as they left the Shrieking Shack. He tried to focus on the joy he felt in that moment, but his thoughts kept drifting back to the veil and the fact that _that_ life was never to be. Shaking his head and smiling sheepishly at the expectant students, Harry thought of flying, soaring above the Quidditch pitch to win the Quidditch cup. 

As he bellowed the words, "Expecto Patronum," however, his thoughts turned to the fact Sirius gave him that Firebolt and once again the loss overwhelmed his thoughts. His Patronus quickly turned to formless vapor and evaporated. Harry felt a thin sheen of sweat break out on his forehead_. Why couldn't he do it?_ He couldn't seem to focus on anything happy for more than an instant, how pathetic was that? Panicking slightly, Harry glanced over at Ginny and saw her listening intently to Hermione's instruction. Harry was reminded of his convalescence at Grimmauld Place and Ginny teasing him for playing it up. That familiar swooshing feeling in his stomach caused a grin and he quickly bellowed, "Expecto Patronum!" 

Prongs galloped from his wand and sauntered around the room to the amazement of some of the newer students. For the next several hours they all worked on their Patronus charms. Professor McGonagall was pleased with the level of instruction in the class and the eagerness of the students. When she announced it was time for the students to return to their dormitories, Harry was stunned by the time. It had just flown by and he felt he was riding on that same high he experienced the previous year. He stayed behind to clean up and his friends remained with him.

"That was a really good first lesson," Hermione enthused.

"Great job Harry. I just wish I could make out the form of my Patronus."

"Don't worry, it'll come Ginny. Even the vapor is helpful against a Dementor. I had trouble getting it at first today and I thought Malfoy was going to split his face in half from grinning so wide, he was so pleased."

"You did it though! I saw Prongs from the corner of my eye?" Hermione questioned.

"Yeah. Malfoy pretty much sulked after that."

"What was he doing here anyway," Ron asked angrily, "Probably reporting back to his dad what's going on. I'm sure he's here as a spy!"

"More likely he just wanted to cause some trouble but couldn't because McGonagall was here. He probably won't be back again."

"Are we going to continue with the Patronus charm Harry? I really want to get a form out of mine?" Ginny asked.

"You'll get it Ginny, don't worry," Ron encouraged, "It's not like you're going to run into a Dementor in Hogsmeade."

They all returned to the Common Room and turned in for the night. As Ron and Harry were changing into their pajamas Ron leaned over with a smirk, "I hope you're planning on actually sleeping in your own bed tonight Harry?"

Harry glared at Ron, "Sod off!" As he climbed into his bunk, he had to grin at Ron's chuckling, _at least he didn't try and deck me_!

A/N: Special thanks to Samhaincat for some of Ginny's words after Harry's dream. They came from an interesting email conversation we had on Harry's state of mind.


	15. The Prank

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Fifteen

The Prank

September gave way to October and the crisp fall air permeated the halls of the castle. The vibrant colors of the leaves were fading and the evening chill was growing more and more pronounced. Students and staff alike seemed to take every opportunity to be outdoors knowing that the days before winter was upon them were numbered. 

Quidditch practices grew more frequent as the upcoming match against Ravenclaw grew nearer. Harry had thrown himself with vigor into training for the match. He enjoyed the exhaustion a good workout brought and slept better on the nights they had practices. Harry was thrilled to be back in the air again and could hardly wait to compete in his first match in nearly a year. 

Ron was obsessive in his bid for the cup and would tolerate nothing less than perfection at each practice. He often kept them out until well after dark in order to perfect a certain move. It was on these nights Madam Hooch would shoo them off the pitch threatening Ron with a detention on the day of the match if he didn't pay attention to the curfew. His persistence had paid off however, the team was looking good and Ron's tantrums were a source of amusement for them all. 

Katie Bell and Ginny, who had played together the previous year, worked well as a team and quickly got young Holly Proctor up to speed. The three girls worked well in tandem with one another and even Ron had trouble blocking them. Ginny seemed to be in her element as Chaser and had the same fierce competitive spirit her brothers were famous for. Jack Sloper and Andrew Kirke had improved vastly over the previous year also. They still weren't up to the standards of the Weasley twins, but Harry doubted there would ever be a pair as well paired as those two. Harry remembered the twins saying they would make the first game and hoped that they would be able to follow through.

Harry had continued his apparition lessons with Moony and was eagerly anticipating their first visit into Hogsmeade to attempt a long distance trip. He had mastered moving around the Room of Requirement and found he preferred apparating to both the floo network and a port key. As Dumbledore requested, he was still keeping his defense lessons secret from Ron and Hermione. A childish part of him couldn't wait to tease Hermione about the fact that he had apparated _inside_ Hogwarts. 

Moony hadn't mentioned their conversation about the Prophesy again and Harry left it at that. Heeding Ginny's advice, he thought how he would handle it and decided he liked it best when people let him take things at his own pace. Therefore, he'd wait for Moony to make the next move.

Harry found he enjoyed his lessons with Tonks most of all. She had decided that the best way for Harry to train would be to put him through a pseudo boot camp of Auror training. Since this was the career path Harry wanted to follow anyway, he was eager for the challenge. Tonks told him that not only did he need to work on his magical ability, but his physical fitness as well. She said they were going to begin training in some Martial Arts. Martial Arts took a great deal of both physical and mental control and one didn't need to be a muscle man in order to be deadly.

"Are you implying my physique is less than spectacular?" Harry joked.

Tonks rolled her eyes and sent her hair color through a rapid display of the rainbow, "Oh yeah Harry, I can't wait for your pin up calendar to be released!"

Harry smirked back at her; "I might even autograph it for you!"

Tonks was good for Harry, she boosted his confidence level in himself and he found he learned very quickly from her. She was an expert at Karate and Harry noticed that she was far less clumsy while they practiced than at other times. He began to suspect that her clumsiness was an act, designed to throw suspicion off of her and make her appear unassuming. It was a good ruse because he found a lot of people seemed to let their guard down around Tonks, which was probably a good way for an Auror to gain information.

Harry had tried on several occasions to tease her on her budding relationship with Remus, but she was so straightforward and to the point, it was usually Harry who ended up blushing and quickly changing the subject. Tonks found it amusing to embarrass him and quickly learned how easy it was to do. She took great glee in seeing how red she could actually get her charge to turn. He took it well and they fell into an almost sibling-like camaraderie. Between the Quidditch practice and the workouts with Tonks, Harry's body had strengthened and he was actually beginning to develop some muscle. His shoulders had broadened over the summer and with the physical activity combined with a normal diet, he was looking much healthier. His metabolism would always keep him on the thin side, but he no longer appeared sickly. Harry liked the physical changes, not only did it boost his self esteem but made him feel he was doing something to prepare for the battle ahead.

His shield charm had come along nicely and even Tonks was no longer able to break it. He could tell she was really trying and was impressed by his efforts. The one area he still was having no luck with was wandless magic. Despite nearly six weeks of effort, he was no further along than he had been at the start,

Harry had also continued his Occlumency lessons. He met twice a week with Professor Dumbledore and practiced clearing his head nightly before sleeping. He hadn't had a single vision since his first night back, although his scar still twinged regularly. Nothing as bad as it had been over the summer, however. On occasion he'd get a brief flash of a feeling that wasn't his own, but it was gone as quick as it came when he threw a block up. The feeling he most often got was that of frustration and it pleased him to think he was irritating Voldemort. 

There was one strange thing that happened during his Occlumency lessons that he still wasn't sure what to make of it. During the times he was concentrating the hardest to keep Dumbledore out of his mind, he had felt a kind of heat rise up within him. It almost felt like a surge of magical energy, but Dumbledore hadn't noticed anything and Harry had kept his mouth shut, not sure what to think. 

It had happened twice and each time the following day he'd found he accomplished his lessons quite easily. He had amazed Professor McGonagall by transforming a rock into a gerbil before she had even finished giving the instructions. It was the first time he'd ever done a task in Transfiguration before Hermione and she was quite put out by it. Although she never understood Ron and Harry's love for Quidditch, Hermione could have quite the competitive spirit when academics were involved. Harry suspected these "surges" had something to do with the ease he was completing his tasks, but wasn't positive and thought he'd wait and test it if it happened again before alerting Professor Dumbledore.

Harry said goodbye to Ron and Hermione as they left to attend yet another Prefect meeting. He'd already figured out that most of their Prefect meetings were, in actuality, snogging sessions in the broom closet on the third floor. He let them continue with their ruse however and pretended to be unaware of their activities. 

Tonight was the night he and Ginny were going to pull their first prank. With Ginny's OWL studies and all of Harry's extracurricular activities, there just hadn't been time. Now, with the game against Ravenclaw set for Saturday and a potential visit from the twins, both Ginny and Harry knew they had to get to work. 

The two of them had poured through the Weasleys Wizarding Wheezes catalog and finally settled on Flaming Fairies. They were designed to look like confetti but were charmed to flutter about the first person that touched them for several hours. The color could be charmed according to the user's choice. They reminded him of Gilderoy Lockhart and his pixies. Harry and Ginny charmed the fairies to red and gold and were planning on leaving them all over the tables and benches in the Great Hall. 

Originally, they were going to plant them the morning of the match so everyone would appear to be supporting Gryffindor but feared if they got caught; they might get detention and miss the game. The rivalry was already running high so they figured any day during the week would work. Ginny thought of getting Luna's help to put the fairies in the Ravenclaw Common Room but Harry worried her housemates would figure out who did it and make life more difficult on her than they already did. When Ginny decided it would be more fun to see the Slytherins flashing Gryffindor colors, they'd settled on the Great Hall and decided to add the Hufflepuffs in for good measure.

So here he sat, in the Gryffindor Common Room with his Invisibility Cloak tucked under his robes waiting for Ginny to come back downstairs. He'd never done anything alone with Ginny before, they'd always had other company and he found himself looking forward to it. He hadn't broken the rules in a while and didn't want to let Fred and George down; he'd never hear the end of it!

Ginny bounded down the stairs with her ponytail flying behind her. She looked harried and rushed as her eyes scanned the room before spying Harry and smiling at him brilliantly. Harry found himself lost in that smile for a moment before he forcibly shook his head to clear it, "All set?"

"Yeah, I just finished the last of my homework so I'm free for the night!" Ginny smiled and Harry felt his stomach do that flip-flop. He recognized it now; it used to happen when he looked at Cho Chang. He knew he was developing a bit of a crush on Ginny but was determined to ignore it. They were friends; he couldn't let anyone in his life right now anyway, with everything hanging over him. It wouldn't be fair to her, and besides that, she didn't like him that way. They were just friends.

Harry pushed open the portrait hole and followed Ginny outside. When they had rounded the corner and the coast was clear, Harry pulled out the cloak and with a swoosh, flung it over both their heads. He was very aware of their close proximity and had trouble focusing his mind on the task at hand.

"Harry, are you there? Come on!"

They stealthily made their way into the deserted Great Hall. When the door was shut behind them, Harry removed the cloak and they went to work. Not wanting to arouse suspicion too early, they placed the Fairies on the Gryffindor table too. No Gryffindor would mind the annoying little butterfly-like creations if they were showing support for the House Quidditch team! 

By the time they were finished, it was well after midnight. They would just have to sneak back up Gryffindor Tower and wait for the festivities to begin at breakfast tomorrow. Harry put the cloak back over them and they began their way back. As they were leaving the Great Hall, Ginny shut the door behind her and it latched a little too loudly in the quiet entry hall. To Harry it sounded like a gong booming. Sure enough, Snape appeared in an instant, his eyes darting around furiously for the source of the disturbance. He grabbed on to Ginny's waist and pulled her into the corner beside the doors. Ginny, who hadn't yet noticed Snape, turned to him in surprise. Harry put his finger to his lips and nodded in the Potion Masters direction. Ginny's eyes widened in alarm and grimaced as Snape made his way towards them.

At first, all Harry's attention was focused on remaining absolutely still and quiet and not getting caught out of bounds after hours. It didn't take long; however, to become aware of the fact that Ginny and he were pressed chest to chest stuffed in a corner and it suddenly had become extremely warm under the cloak. He still had one hand on her waist and he didn't know what to do with his other hand. Inexplicably, Harry found himself very nervous and his heart thundered in his chest. 

For her part, Ginny was looking every where BUT at him as if she didn't know where to put her eyes. Harry's breathing was getting heavier and he thought for sure that Snape would be able to hear it. He felt a thin sheen of sweat break out on his forehead and didn't know if it was from nerves at getting caught or nerves from being so close to Ginny. He couldn't help but stare and notice the thin band of freckles she had spattered across her nose and cheeks. He fought against an overwhelming desire to reach out and touch her face_. We are just friends! Sure Potter, you always use the way your friends make you feel to summon a Patronus! Shut it._

Snape had opened the doors to the Great Hall, but seeing no one about and nothing amiss, he'd slowly shut them and took a last look around. He scowled deeply as if aware there was something not quite right but strode from the Entry Hall, his cape billowing behind him.

Both Harry and Ginny let out sighs of relief and relaxed their shoulders against the wall. Harry could feel his heart still pounding aggressively within his chest.

"That was close!" Ginny whispered, "We'd better get back before anyone else wanders by!"

The feel of her breath against the skin on his neck caused another reaction in Harry that he _didn't_ want her aware of. Pulling back quickly he said, "Yeah, let's go!" 

They had made it up to the third floor landing, still hidden beneath the cloak, before being nearly taken out by the swinging of a broom closet door. Harry pulled Ginny back as a furious Hermione emerged, looking rather disheveled. A frustrated-looking Ron followed her into the hallway.

"I accepted it as an accident the first time Ronald Bilius Weasley," Hermione was hissing," but that was the THIRD time your hand accidentally ended up there! Enough! I told you before to mind your hands!"

Ginny and Harry had frozen in their tracks. Harry felt the color rush to his face; he did _not_ want to hear about this! Looking desperately at Ginny thinking she'd be feeling similar, he was shocked to see the near hysterical look on her face. She was biting her lip so hard Harry thought for sure that she was about to draw blood. He knew she was going to lose it and they'd both be caught! Harry did not want to face Ron and Hermione with them knowing he'd heard them. He slapped his hand over Ginny's mouth trying to keep her laughter in. He could feel her body trembling in suppressed mirth. Ron and Hermione continued going at each other, Ron trying to proclaim his innocence to a disbelieving Hermione, completely unaware of their audience or the predicament they found themselves in.

As Ginny was starting to get hold of herself, she took a good look at Harry who still had his hand over her mouth. She realized he was about _this close_ to busting out laughing himself and she clamped her own hand over his mouth. So there they stood, the two of them, nearly doubled over with the effort to contain themselves standing right next to Ron and Hermione, still arguing over hand placement in a broom closet. 

Ginny didn't think she could take it much more when the sparring lovebirds finally began making their way up the stairs. Once they were finally at a good distance, Harry and Ginny let go of each other and collapsed against the wall in helpless glee. Ginny was laughing so hard she literally couldn't stand up and sat right down on the floor. Trying to remain under the Invisibility Cloak, Harry had no choice but to sit down with her. Harry was holding his stomach trying to control his laughter and Ginny had tears streaming down her face.

"That was way more information than I needed to know," Harry said after he finally had gotten himself under control.

"And Ron still trying to deny it after he'd been bagged!"

"Can you imagine what they would do to us if they knew we were there? We can't let them ever find out!"

"What! Are you crazy Harry? This is excellent blackmail material, it just gets stored away for use at a later date."

Harry looked at her in surprise, "You wouldn't?"

"Wouldn't I?"

He stared at her for a moment, then his face broke into a huge grin, "I like you Ginny Weasley, but I'm glad you're on my side!"

"Just watch your step Potter, just watch your step!"

The next morning, Harry was up early as usual despite the late night. He had taken to using the Quidditch pitch for a morning run before doing the physical exercises Tonks had assigned to him. Ron, always a late sleeper, had yet to notice Harry's morning activities so he hadn't had to come up with an explanation yet. He had a lesson with Moony today and they were planning on heading into Hogsmeade.

He'd got back to the Common Room and showered as Hermione and Ginny were coming down the stairs. After waiting for Ron, they all headed down to breakfast. Ron and Hermione were pointedly ignoring each other and trying to make conversation with everyone but each other. Hermione had latched on to Neville as they entered the Great Hall. Harry had nervous butterflies in his stomach wondering if he and Ginny could pull this off. He exchanged a conspiring glance with her across the table.

The first thing they noticed was that all the Flaming Fairies were gone, no where in sight and nothing seemed amiss among the students. Harry looked to Ginny in confusion and her return look was just as puzzled. Before they could even question each other, Professor Snape strode angrily up to the staff table. His face was venomous and several first years hurried out of his way in alarm. Flying merrily around his head like a kind of live halo were a swarm of red and gold Flaming Fairies. There colors were brilliant and they flashed at every step he took, seeming to burst into flame repeatedly. Several more followed behind him, flowing like a veil from the back of his head. 

The laughter in the room started out low but gradually built in crescendo until the whole hall, minus the Slytherins, was roaring in delight at the stern Professor's discomfort. Harry tried to keep his face blank, he really did, but when he caught the glare Snape sent his way he had to drop his napkin on the floor in order to retrieve it to hide his mirth. Ginny had no such problem as she calmly buttered a scone and asked Harry to pass the jam as if she hadn't even noticed what was going on. Years spent with Fred and George had taught her how to _appear_ innocent in a crisis.

Hermione was looking suspiciously at both Harry and Ginny. With eyes narrowed she said, "That looks like something Fred and George would have come up with. What do you two know about this?"

Ron, who was still holding his sides from laughing at Professor Snape and his apparent Gryffindor loyalty, turned his head sharply; "You did this? Is that where you were so late last night? Why didn't you let me in on it?"

"Ron!" Hermione scolded, "We're prefects! If Professor McGonagall asks us who was responsible—"

"You'll just say you don't know," Ginny returned calmly, "Tell her you have no idea who had their _hands_ in on this!" Ginny emphasized the word hands and Hermione's eyes flew open wide. Ginny smiled sweetly at her and batted her eyes.

"I think we'd better get to class," Hermione said and never mentioned another word about the Fairies.

Harry and Moony walked into Hogsmeade together enjoying the bright fall day. They just needed to clear the gates of Hogwarts before they could apparate. Moony had decided to use the train station, as Harry was familiar with it and he could practice moving from one end to the other to start. If Harry succeeded, they would try it around the village. 

As they walked, Harry couldn't help but remember the scene in the Great Hall that morning. He was completely impressed by Ginny's handling of Hermione. Hermione hadn't met Harry's eyes all day and he was beginning to feel sorry for her embarrassment. Ron, it seemed, was clueless to a lot that had transpired at the table this morning. 

Not long after they left the castle, Harry became aware that his scar was bothering him. Nothing intense, but the twinges seemed more frequent and sharper than they'd been. The brief flashes of Voldemort's mood seemed to indicate he was happy. This was troubling and he made a mental note to remain on guard. He concentrated on keeping his Occlumency block up.

Harry relayed to Moony the prank he and Ginny had attempted, as well as the actual outcome. Although Moony tried, he couldn't hide his delight at the thought of Snape being besieged by Gryffindor fairies and he laughed heartily. It was good to hear him laugh like that again and he and Harry joked about Snape as they continued their walk into the village.

When they reached the train station, Moony stopped Harry at one end and made his way down to the other. When he reached the end he turned around and gave Harry a wave of his arm. Closing his eyes, Harry allowed his body to relax and concentrated with all his power on the opposite end of the train yard. He was startled a moment later by Moony's jubilant voice in his ear, "Congratulations!"

He opened his eyes and realized he'd done it, "Yes!" he bellowed raising a triumphant fist in the air.

Moony laughed at his delight; "Nice job Harry, now let's see you go back."

Harry repeated the process and Moony appeared with a pop next to him an instant later. Harry was too elated to even notice the increasing pressure in his head.

"Okay, let's try a bit of a longer distance, shall we? Can you picture the front of the Three Broomsticks?"

Without responding, Harry grinned and shut his eyes. A moment later he was standing in front of the pub, Moony quickly followed. "You've got it Harry, you've done it. Let's try one more, a bit further again. Try the Shrieking Shack."

The Shrieking Shack was located on the outskirts of Hogsmeade, a good distance from where they stood. Both he and Moony apparated there instantly and Harry grinned in pleasure. He liked travelling this way.

"Well Harry, you've mastered this task very well. Next week we'll move on to Fencing."

Harry's grin faltered, "Fencing? You mean like with a sword?"

"Exactly! Tonks tells me you're doing well with the Martial Arts training; Fencing will be the next step. It's a pleasurable and ancient sport Harry, I think you'll enjoy it. It's not like you haven't used a sword before."

Harry's mind flashed briefly to the basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets. "I didn't find it very pleasurable," he said.

Moony smiled, "Let's try it without the snake then," he said mildly. "I enjoy Fencing Harry, makes me feel like a Knight of the Round Table. I really think you'll come to enjoy it too. Your father was very good."

Harry was about to respond when his scar burst with fiery pain. Clutching both hands to his head he fell to his knees, gasping for air.

Moony knelt beside him and placed his hands protectively on Harry's shoulders, "What is it Harry? Are you all right?"

Harry nodded mutely, letting the pain recede. After a moment he said, "Voldemort is really happy. I've been getting twinges all afternoon but that's the first time he really broke through. I think I forced him out though, he definitely wasn't ready to leave."

Moony glanced around in alarm, his gazing taking in their surroundings and the path up to the castle, "Can you stand?"

Harry rose shakily to his feet and leaned heavily on Moony, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You're not fine Harry! You're pale as a ghost. Let's take the tunnel through the Shrieking Shack back now, I want to be back inside Hogwarts."

Harry nodded and accepted Moony's help back to the castle. By the time they'd reached the entrance, he was exhausted and Moony was nearly dragging him. He didn't understand why he felt so physically drained; it had never been quite like this before.

"It's probably the magical energy you needed to use to force him out of your mind that's exhausted you," Moony answered his unasked question, "You go on and lie down, I'm going up to see Dumbledore and let him know what happened,"

Harry nodded; he was too tired to argue and didn't think he'd have the energy to see Dumbledore even if he wanted to. Wearily he gave the Fat Lady the password and headed up to the dormitory for a nap.

A/N: Okay, I had a reviewer last chapter say that in OotP, Ginny created a Patronus that was a female lion. I've looked and looked through the chapter and I've found Hermione making an otter, Cho making a swan, and Seamus making "something hairy", but no lion for Ginny. If you can direct me to where this is, I'll check it out but for now I'm going to continue because it will come in to play later!

Please R/R and let me know what you think, I love hearing from you!


	16. Taking Flight

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Sixteen

Taking Flight

Harry awoke to Ron tugging on his arm and shaking him into awareness. Groggily looking around the room and taking in the dim light, he realized it was morning, very early morning. He was disoriented and shook his head to try and clear it. He had never woken up again after lying down yesterday afternoon and slept right through the night. After sleeping in his clothes he had that rough, slightly unclean feeling of sleeping uncomfortably. Blearily he looked at Ron in confusion and realized his friend was holding his glasses out to him.

"You must have been really wiped out. McGonagall told us not to disturb you but I thought for sure that you'd be up by now. Sorry to wake you but the team is meeting for an early breakfast before heading to the pitch," Ron explained. 

He didn't tell Harry about his annoyance on learning that Harry had a bad reaction to his Occlumency. Ron couldn't understand what Dumbledore was thinking putting Harry through the ringer the day before a Quidditch match. Hermione lit into him for that comment and refused to speak to him for most of the night over his insinuation that Quidditch was more important than keeping Voldemort out of Harry's mind. Ron didn't think that really, he knew the importance of Harry mastering Occlumency. Still, he didn't think moving the lesson one day up or back would have been a bad idea either! This was the first match of the season after all!

"McGonagall told you not to disturb me?" Harry asked, still struggling to piece together what had happened.

"Yeah. She said Dumbledore told her you'd had a hard time with Occlumency. Sorry mate, it must have been bad to lay you out like that. You okay?"

Harry nodded absently, obviously they had to cover the fact Harry had been with Moony. His friends were still unaware of Harry's extra defense lessons.

"Jump in the shower and meet me downstairs. The team is all going down together. Show of solidarity and all that."

Harry could almost hear Ron's annoyance over what condition he was in, so he quickly showered and joined the rest of the team in the Common Room. The shower had perked him up and the idea of playing in a game was pushing all thoughts of what happened the previous day from his mind. He could find out what Dumbledore had to say about it later. He was excited and eager to play. After missing dinner last night, he was starving and didn't think he'd have his usual problem with pre-game jitters today. He loaded his plate with flapjacks and bacon and began to devour it ravenously. Ginny shook her head at seeing Harry's appetite nearly rivaling Ron's. Hermione joined them not long after they'd started and the rest of Great Hall was beginning to fill up with other students. Neville walked in with Luna, each dressed in their own House colors. Neville joined him at the table, "Morning! Luna is going to sit with us at the match Hermione, okay?"

"Of course Neville. Doesn't she want to sit with her own House today though, since it is Ravenclaw we're playing?"

"Nah, she doesn't get on with them very well. They aren't very nice to her."

Harry remembered the end of last term when Luna's "friends" had hidden her things and he felt a surge of annoyance at the Ravenclaws. It made him really want to beat them today. Before Hermione could respond, however, two large barn owls swooped in carrying a long, thin package between them. It was quite obviously a broom. The owls swooped down and landed right in front of Ginny.

Her eyes flew open wide in shock and she gently took the package with trembling hands. She looked up in confusion at Ron who was looking just as surprised back at her. Harry and Hermione had equally puzzled expressions on their faces.

"Well don't just sit there, open it!" Ron shouted, never being one to show restraint when it came to either presents or Quidditch.

Ginny pulled the card and began to read, 

__

Ginny,

Congratulations on making the team! We knew you would and are very proud of you. Your father and I came across some extra funds and we decided that with the war on, it should be used for the express purpose of living! Enjoy it Ginny! Good luck to you, Ron, and Harry.

Luv,

Mum and Dad

Ginny tore the paper off a brand new Cleansweep; it was just like Ron's broom. She ran her hands lovingly over the handle and squealed in delight, "My very own broom! I've got my very own broom and it's not even a hand-me-down!"

"We are going to be unstoppable, there is no way we won't beat Ravenclaw today!" Ron exclaimed, "When I sent Mum that letter I never expected this!"

"What letter?" Ginny asked sharply.

"Just my regular note to Mum. You know I'm fine/we're eating/Harry's still not sleeping well letters. I happened to mention that you were using a school broom and it was rubbish. I was worried about it hurting our chances."

"What do you mean hurting our chances?"

"What do you mean Harry's still not sleeping well?" both Ginny and Harry yelled in indignation at the same time. 

Ron ignored them both, "Where do you suppose these extra funds' came from? Do you think it has anything to do with the Order?"

Harry, who knew perfectly well where the funds came from but didn't want to get into it with Ron, jumped up from his seat, "No time for that now, the team is leaving. Let's go, games' on!"

Harry had quickly changed into his scarlet Quidditch robes and was peering out at the crowd before Ron called the team together for his pre-game pep talk. In the rapidly filling stands, he could see not only Fred and George, but Mr. and Mrs. Weasley as well. In fact, there were so many red heads in that particular section Harry wouldn't be surprised if the whole Weasley family had come for the match. Harry suddenly found himself very nervous. He didn't want to let Ron or Ginny down in front of their family, he hoped he hadn't lost his touch in his long absence from playing. 

Squinting to try and make out the faces, he realized Moony and Tonks were also there and seated with the Weasleys. Harry felt a surge of warmth flood his veins. _They had come to see him play!_ He knew that although all the Weasleys would cheer him on, they had really come to see Ginny's first match as Chaser and Ron's first match as captain. That was how it should be. Moony and Tonks, however, probably had come for him. Harry remembered how touched he'd been when Mrs. Weasley and Bill and come to represent a family for him during the Third Task of the TriWizard tournament. He'd been so grateful to them for that. This was a similar kind of feeling now.

As a kid, Harry was never allowed to attend Dudley's football matches, he'd really had no particular desire to anyway other than curiosity about the sport. The Dursleys always left him with Mrs. Figg or locked in his cupboard. He always enjoyed watching the other families as they arrived either before or after a game though. Aunt Petunia would set up little finger sandwiches and snacks as the families of Dudley's mates gathered around and swapped stories of the game. 

Watching them had always left Harry with an odd, empty sort of feeling and a strong longing for something he couldn't name. Looking out now and seeing the faces of all those people he knew and cared for filled him with an intense joy and an overwhelming desire to win this game. This is what it was like for Dudley and his friends to have family come and route for them. _It felt good!_

"Oi Harry, over here!" he heard Ron call and forced his mind out of the past and onto the present. Harry made his way over and sat on the bench between Ginny and Jack Sloper with the rest of the team.

"Gather round team, this is how it's going to be." Ron seemed to be a natural standing up there in front of his team. He strode back and forth with a confidence he didn't usually possess. Ron was in his element when it came to Quidditch and Harry was forcibly reminded he'd made the right decision in refusing the captain spot. Ron was much better at this than Harry ever would have been. He could never have gotten up there and given this speech Harry thought, not even considering the fact he had been doing the same thing with the D.A. for over a year now.

"Here's how it is," Ron was saying, "we've got great conditions out there. Not a cloud in the sky and the temperature is chilly without being uncomfortable. You know what you have to do. Go out there and fly just like we've been doing in practice. I don't need to tell you we need to hold on to that Quidditch Cup. We don't want to have to face McGonagall if she doesn't get to keep it in her office next year. This is game one; it sets the tone for the year. Andrew, Jack, wallop those Bludgers into anything that moves. Katie, Ginny, Holly, score a lot. As many goals and as often as you can. Harry, catch the snitch," at this point Ron flashed Harry a sly grin, "or die trying."

Harry grinned in return. The last person to say that to him was Oliver Wood, the teams former captain and Quidditch fanatic. Harry and ended up in the Hospital Wing missing all the bones in his arm. He hoped this game would have a less painful ending.

As they made their way onto the pitch, Harry could see the blue of the Ravenclaw robes already lined up. He heard the tail end of the announcement for the Gryffindor lineup, "Bell, Kirke, Potter, Proctor, Sloper, Weasley and Weasley!" 

He took his place opposite Cho, who flashed him a huge smile. He nodded and gave a small smile in return.

Madam Hooch had Ron and Roger Davies, the captain of the Ravenclaw team, shake hands then she yelled, "Mount your brooms!" As she blew her whistle, Harry kicked off the ground and rose like a shot into the air. He soared back and forth the length of the pitch as the other players got into place. Squinting against the glaring sun, he began his search of the snitch.

Luke Donovan, a Hufflepuff 4th year had taken over the commentary for Lee Jordan, who had graduated with the twin's class the year before. Harry missed Lee's often biased but always-colorful descriptions of the play. Luke was more fair, but duller and his voice tended to sound more like a drone.

"Gryffindor in possession, new Chaser Holly Proctor heading for goal"

Harry noticed that Cho was using her usual game strategy of tailing him rather than looking for the snitch herself. Putting on a burst of speed, he decided to at least make her work for it!

He dodged a Bludger that went speeding past him, then swerved out of the way of Andrew Kirke, who was chasing it. From the corner of his eye he saw Cho diving towards the ground. He searched frantically for the elusive Golden Snitch but couldn't see it. He suspected Cho was having him on but was afraid to blow it in front of all the Weasleys. He followed Cho in her dive but then decided to follow his own instincts and pulled out, shooting for the opposite end of the pitch.

Sure enough, when Cho thought he'd spotted the Snitch, she dropped her ruse and sped after him. Harry dived sharply towards the ground, hearing the startled gasps from the crowd. He pulled out of the dive at the last second. Cho hadn't been as lucky and struggled desperately to control her broom. She hit the ground with a thud but quickly remounted and got back in the air. The smile was gone from her face as she glared at Harry and rose up to continue her search.

"An excellent Wronski Feint pulled off by Potter of the Gryffindor team," he heard the monotone voice of Luke Donovan announce.

"Nice one Harry!" Katie yelled, speeding past him with the Quaffle clutched tightly in her arm.

The morning moved into afternoon and still the game went on. The score of the game was fairly even, mostly due to the excellent work by the Keepers on each team, keeping the scores fairly low.

As time moved into late afternoon, all the players were beginning to show signs of fatigue, with still no sign of the Snitch. Harry was frustrated but tried to keep his focus on finding the Snitch, not on the ache in his lower back.

Ginny, Katie, and Holly all looked a bit worn. They'd been playing hard with little payoff and everyone was getting a little sloppy.

Harry watched as Ginny caught the Quaffle from Holly and raced towards the Ravenclaw hoops. Her brow was furrowed; she was concentrating intently on getting past their excellent Keeper and didn't notice the zooming Bludger one of the Ravenclaw Beaters had sent directly for her.

Without thinking, Harry launched his broom into the path of the oncoming Bludger and stuck out his arm trying to divert it from hitting her. A Bludger is much bigger and heavier than the Snitch, however, and the force of it sent Harry spinning in a 180 degree angle as he felt a searing pain shoot up his arm.

In the meantime, Ginny had managed to score and was still unaware of the commotion going on behind her. Ron went to call a time-out but Harry waved letting him know he was all right. In truth, he waved with his left arm because he didn't think he could lift the right. Clenching his teeth against the agony pulsing up his wrist, arm and into his shoulder, he continued searching for the little flutter of gold.

The afternoon wore on; the game had gone past lunch, past afternoon tea and was now encroaching on the dinner hour. It was the longest game Hogwarts had seen in some time. The autumn sky was growing darker and the air much cooler than it had been during mid-afternoon.

Harry's wrist had settled into a dull throb and had eventually gone numb. It would remain that way unless he tried to move it. Each subtle movement would send a new wave of agony cascading over him. Harry quickly decided it was better not to move it and his arm hung limp across his broom. This left him only one good arm to fly with and catch the snitch.

As his eyes scanned the darkening pitch once more, he saw it! A tiny glimmer of gold lying on the sidelines not far from where he was flying. Trying not to arouse Cho's awareness, he floated gently towards the ground, keeping his eyes sharply focused on the prize. When he was near enough and Cho still hadn't followed, he launched himself towards the Snitch and reached out his left hand, balancing with only his legs.

He grabbed the Snitch before Cho had even realized it had been seen. Being nearly on the ground when he'd captured it, and unable to fly and hold it in the air anyway, he jumped off his broom and shot his fist with the clenched Snitch into the air.

"Harry Potter's got the Snitch! Gryffindor wins!"

The stands erupted with a roar and his teammates swooped down to congratulate him. Harry could see Cho Chang glaring venomously at him, her eyes glaring with none of the sweetness she'd shown at the beginning of the match. It was only as Katie threw herself on him and he flinched in pain that his teammates realized he was really hurt.

Madam Hooch pulled him from the crowd and looked him over, "You need to see Madam Pomfrey, Potter." Harry nodded his agreement and tried to quietly slip away, not wanting to ruin the victory moment for Ron. 

Ron had worked hard for this and he deserved the time to lap up the praise and admiration from his family. Harry quietly made his way off the pitch smiling at the nods and acknowledgements he received as he went.

Madam Pomfrey set his broken wrist, relieving the pain instantly but told him he had to stay in a bed for an hour until the potion was finished it's healing. He felt dirty and sweaty; not to mention he was starving, but knew there was no use arguing with the woman. He plopped himself down on an empty bed and shut his eyes, allowing the adrenaline to drain from his system.

He'd been there for about a half-hour when the door burst open and all the Weasleys, Hermione, Moony and Tonks bustled in.

"Harry," Mrs. Weasley began fussing with the bed covers, "Are you all right dear? Madam Hooch said you were injured."

"I'm fine Mrs. Weasley, just a broken wrist. Madam Pomfrey already set it."

"You broke your wrist!" Ginny exclaimed. "And you continued playing all that time? What were you thinking Harry?"

Ron, who was obviously still basking in the glory of the win, cast an amused yet incredulous glance at his friend. "Did you actually think you could just _catch_ it?" he asked sarcastically.

"It was aiming right for you and you were about to score," Harry said to Ginny, "you didn't see it!"

"So why didn't you just shout at me to look out?"

Harry opened his mouth to retort but was stumped. _Why didn't he just tell her to watch out?_ Because it never occurred to him, that's why! He saw the Bludger and he acted! He felt the color rise to his face, this was his love of playing the hero' rising up again. At least this time no one was hurt.

Ginny noticed the bewildered look on his face and knew what was going on his head. Shaking her head she grinned at him, it was so typically Harry!

"Nice game anyway Harry," Moony said smiling and trying to rescue Harry from his discomfort. "I thought we'd be here well into the night at the rate things were going."

"Wotcher Harry," Tonks grinned, "Catching the Bludger in your hand. That's a new one on me!"

Fred and George were bouncing around the Hospital Wing unable to contain their enthusiasm; "Great catch Harry! Cho never even saw you going for it," George exclaimed. "She was right ticked off about it too!"

"Angelina is here too, she went up to the Common Room with Katie," Fred added.

"I have to stay for another twenty minutes, than I can join you up there," Harry told them. 

Mrs. Weasley leaned over and kissed him on the head, "We have to get back Harry, you do what Madam Pomfrey tells you and take care of yourself."

She turned to kiss Ron and Ginny goodbye as Mr. Weasley, Moony and Tonks all shook Harry's hand and said their good-byes.

Fred leaned over Harry conspiratorially; "George, Ang and I are staying for the victory celebration. We've brought some things to get the party started off right!"

Harry grinned and nodded at Fred, than schooled his features noticing the suspicious glances coming from Hermione.

"We'll see you upstairs Harry!" yelled George as he and Fred followed the adults from the Hospital Wing.

"We'd better go too Ron," Hermione said, "I want to keep an eye on those brothers of yours!"

Ron shrugged, "You'll be okay?"

Harry nodded, "Yeah, I'll be up shortly."

Ginny gave him a small smile and mouthed, "Thanks Harry," as she followed Ron and Hermione from the room.

Harry leaned back on his pillows and grinned broadly_, this party was looking to be a good one_.

A/N: Thank you all so much for all the reviews! I really appreciate all the continued support! Please keep R/R!

My son has been very taken with the Playstation game Quidditch World Cup (which he gave me for my birthday). He's really interested in Quidditch and I've been getting such a kick listening to him. He knows so much about it, it's scary. In the game, Oliver Wood is still captain but I told him next book, either Ron, Harry or maybe Katie Bell would be the new captain and why I thought it would be Ron. You know what he said? He said, yeah, Harry is too busy. He has a lot of jobs like catching the Snitch and beating Voldemort! He said it in that order too! Poor Harry!

Reporter: Thanks so much for clarifying the Ginny Patronus thing! I suspected it might be from another fic. Some of the fics are so good I get confused too with what is real and what isn't! According to JKR, a Patronus has to be an animal, so I'm forced to change some things, I'm working on it! Thanks.


	17. After Party

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

WARNING: This chapter contains references to underage drinking. It in no way is condoning nor encouraging such activities. If it offends you, you may want to skip this chapter. Actually, it's pretty much _about_ underage drinking as a rite of passage, so consider yourself warned!

****

Chapter Seventeen

After Party

Madam Pomfrey gave Harry a last look over and checked the bones in his wrist before allowing him to leave and make his way back towards Gryffindor tower. His arm was in a sling, which he immediately removed once he was out of Madam Pomfrey's sight. His stomach was growling and he forlornly realized that while he was laid up, he'd missed dinner in the Great Hall too. He'd have to sneak down to the kitchen and get something from Dobby after he checked to see how the celebration was doing. If he were lucky, there would be some food in the Common Room.

As he gave the Fat Lady the password, "_Victory is ours_," and climbed through the portrait hole, he was assaulted by a wave of noise that nearly sent him stumbling back into the corridor. _Since when was the Common Room hooked up for music?_ _Must be the twins doing._

Looking around the crowded room, he could see Ron and Hermione sitting to the side at a table covered with an enormous variety of smuggled-in foods. _The twins must have kept the House Elves busy all day; Hermione must have loved that! _Fred and George were standing by the fireplace, a large group of younger students surrounding them. It looked to Harry like they were demonstrating products. Angelina Johnson sat with Katie Bell and Alicia Spinnet on the sofas, ignoring the twins and talking animatedly with Ginny and the other new Quidditch players. Realizing Alicia was there; Harry scanned the room further and sure enough saw Lee Jordan off to a corner with Seamus Finnigan. The two were hunched over a punch bowl and laughing uproariously. 

He could see Dean Thomas sitting on a chair by the fire, Lavender and Parvati were on each arm of the chair and he seemed to have them thoroughly engrossed in what he was saying. Dennis Creevey was dancing with a girl Harry didn't know and Colin was taking pictures of the whole thing. The Gryffindor victory party was in full swing!

Harry made his way towards Ron and Hermione, planning on grabbing a Butterbeer and some of the food when Fred grabbed him by his arm, "Harry mate, glad you finally got sprung! Here," he said shoving a plate of food at him. "Eat up! Then try the punch in the punch bowl. Specially made for only the upper classes." Fred winked at Harry as he said this and Harry just looked at him blankly. George and Lee walked over and joined them, handing Harry a glass of the punch. 

"A toast," George sighed, raising his own glass in the air, "to Gryffindor's stunning victory!" Fred, George and Lee all tipped their heads back and downed the liquid. Harry stared at them for a moment, unsure whether or not to trust them. Nothing happened to any of them. He could see Ron sipping at a glass of the funny, orange colored punch without any kind of physical transformation. 

Harry raised the glass and downed it like the others had done. Immediately he began coughing, feeling like he had just drank liquid fire. A burning sensation traveled from his throat all the way to his stomach and he thought for sure steam must be coming out of his ears. George clapped him on the back as he spluttered. 

Harry felt his eyes watering as he struggled to catch his breath, "What is that?" he gasped.

"Ogden's finest," beamed Fred.

"Courtesy of Dung," added George.

"Never had better," joined in Lee.

Harry had recovered enough to clear his eyes, the burning in his throat and chest had settled to a deep warmth and he could vaguely taste berries or something sweet in his mouth.

"Sorry mate," George was saying. "We forgot you're a FireWhiskey virgin. You weren't with us yet that time back at Grimmauld Place."

Harry looked at them questioningly, "What time at Grimmauld Place?"

"It was after the wards came down at the Burrow. We arrived late and we were all pretty shook up. Of course Mum scooted us all out of the kitchen pretty quick while the Order discussed everything. George and I joined up right after that. Ron and Ginny came up to our room and we had an impromptu christening with a bottle we'd been saving for just such an occasion. It was hysterical. You should have seen Ron, pissed out of his gourd!"

"Ginny was giggling pretty hard herself, but it was Ron who had us all in stitches. Going on and on about Her-my-oh-knee! It was our job as siblings to give him hell over it! Wasn't long after that they started going out."

"I notice Ron is going much slower on the stuff tonight," Fred commented, looking across the room at Ron.

Harry found another glass being placed in his hand and he took it, but sipped at it this time. He was sorry he missed that experience with Ron. 

"How did you get Hermione to agree to this?"

"Well, she didn't really agree, but she allowed it. Put some kind of age hex on the bowl that won't allow anyone under fifth year to pour any. I think she felt like this House needed a real victory party, it's been too long!"

Harry thought about that a minute. He couldn't remember the last time Gryffindor had a real Quidditch after party in the Common Room. During the TriWizard tournament Quidditch had been cancelled. Then last year, with Umbridge and the bans the parties were very subdued. The twins were right; it was time to right a few wrongs. Grinning at the twins, he raised his glass. "Cheers," he said, tipping it back.

"Eat that plate Harry," George said, "or you'll be as silly as Ron was. You don't want to pass out too early, we've got a lot planned for the evening!"

Harry noticed that although Lee and the twins were drinking the punch, none of them touched any of the food they had placed on Harry's plate. Knowing the twins as he did, Harry didn't trust anything they'd given him. Nodding in agreement, he carefully put the plate down out of the twins' line of vision while walking over to where Ron and Hermione were sitting.

"Hi!" he said, sitting down with them. 

Ron handed him another cup of punch, "Try this Harry, it's a Fred and George special."

"Yeah, I know. I've already tried it. It's pretty good though," he replied, taking the glass. Fred and George had moved over to the window and began releasing some Weasley Whiz Bangs into the air. Hermione scowled at them but Fred shrugged, "What are you going to do? Can't deduct points, we're not students anymore. Watch this one Harry, I think you'll like it!"

Harry watched as the unmistakable image of Snape appeared in the sky carrying a bouquet of flowers and wearing what looked like a Gryffindor wedding veil.

"Nice prank someone pulled," grinned George as Harry returned the smile.

"How's your wrist Harry?" Hermione asked.

"Good as new, Pomfrey fixed it right up," Harry answered chuckling a little. He was feeling good and happy all of a sudden. A warm joy seemed to be seeping through him and he was glad to be with his friends and not worrying about anything. 

Ginny came over to join them, "How are you feeling Harry?"

Harry looked at her very seriously, "I really wasn't trying to catch the Bludger you know."

Ginny grinned and Ron snickered. "How much of this have you had already?" Ginny asked, nodding her head towards his cup.

"Dunno," he answered shrugging his shoulders and refilling it, bouncing his head from side to side, "I like it though."

"Go easy Harry. I think that maybe you should slow down. Did you eat anything after the game?"

"Leave him be Gin," Ron piped in casually. "This is a lesson you need to learn on your own anyway. If anyone deserves a night of relief, it's Harry."

"Yeah!" Harry responded. "It's relief night! No nagging, no Voldemort, no Prophesy!"

Hermione looked at him sharply, "What about the—"

"Hermione," Ron said, tugging her to her feet, "Come on, let's get another round." Ron and Hermione walked away but didn't head for the punch, instead slipped into a quiet, darkened corner.

"He didn't say another round of what," Harry snickered.

Ginny smirked. Harry was really rather cute with his lips loosened up a bit, not nearly as shy and his eyes seemed to have lost that haunted look that was always so prevalent in them lately. "Here," she said handing him a dinner roll. "Eat that, it'll help. This is really what we had in mind for your birthday party you know. Something big and loud and full of fun."

Harry really didn't feel all that hungry anymore, but munched on the dinner roll nonetheless, "What do you mean? I had a great party."

"Yeah, it was fun, but smaller than we'd wanted, just family and the Order. It was really just a Weasley family party after all."

Harry cocked his head in confusion and continued staring at her without speaking.

"Well, it certainly couldn't have been the best party you ever had, sixteen should be special," Ginny said, wondering why he was looking at her so strangely.

"It was the only party I've ever had," he said shrugging his shoulders as if it were common knowledge.

Ginny felt her heart constrict, _oh no_. "What do you mean? Didn't you ever have a party as a kid?" She knew the Dursleys treated him poorly, but they must have done something for him when he was small anyway? She suddenly flashed on the image of a lonely little boy wearing clothes much too big for him standing outside the barrier to Platform 9 3/4 and asking her mother how to get on the platform. His relatives had just left him there alone in a train station full of strangers, why would she think they'd ever do anything decent, like celebrating a child's birthday?

"Nah," Harry shrugged, "They never even acknowledged it until I was about seven and that was an accident. A neighbor had come over for something and I happened to mention it was my birthday. Aunt Petunia did tell me when it was once so I always kept track. She asked what I had gotten for a present and Aunt Petunia piped in that I hadn't opened it yet. I never got presents before so I was amazed at the idea. Aunt Petunia appeared with this silly wrapped thing and placed it on the television. I waited all day to open that present, just staring at it. 

When it got to be late, they shooed me off to bed without it so I asked. Aunt Petunia looked at me like I had three heads. Looking back now I realized she just threw something together to put on a show for the neighbors. It's always about appearances with Aunt Petunia. Still is. She shoved the present at me and sent me to bed. It was an apple core. I'd never got to unwrap a present before so I still thought it was exciting. Every year since than she's done the same thing with some foolish household item." Harry finished and took another drink of the punch.

Ginny had never heard so many words come from his mouth, and the casual way he told such a sad story broke her heart. She felt tears well up in her eyes, how could they have treated an innocent child so cruelly? He was their nephew! She wondered not for the first time how he'd grown up to be such a decent and generally sweet person, despite the way they had treated him? He could have turned out so differently. She was about to open her mouth when the portrait hole swung open and Neville crawled through, followed closely by Luna. They walked over to where Harry and Ginny were seated.

"Hi Neville, Luna," Ginny smiled.

"You aren't a Gryffindor," Harry said to Luna. He wasn't being nasty; he had more of a blank look on his face as if he was just stating the obvious. Luna didn't seem to take offense.

"No, I'm not. If my birth sign was under the Water Bearer, I'd be in Hufflepuff," she replied dreamily.

Harry seemed to accept this as perfectly logical, "Right. Okay, want some punch?"

"I'd love some!"

As Harry went to get some more glasses, Neville looked questioningly at Ginny. "Watch out, the punch is spiked," she giggled.

As the night wore on, the music seemed to get louder in sync with Fred and George trying to outdo it. Their boisterous personalities were infectious and Hermione soon gave up on even trying to keep control of the situation. She settled for sending all the younger students up to bed amidst their grumbles and complaints. Third year Holly Proctor complaining loudest of all. Ron halfheartedly helped her send them along, but came back as quick as possible to sit down with his own glass of the punch.

When Hermione returned, she plopped down on the couch next to him and grumbled, "Give me a glass of that punch!"

Ron eyebrows rose in surprise and completely disappeared in his hair as she downed it without flinching. Ginny smiled with glee and refilled Hermione's glass.

"Okay," Angelina spoke up, "What this party needs are some drinking games. Anybody know how to play 3-man?"

"You need Wizard dice, don't you?" asked Ginny.

Ron looked at her in surprise and demanded, "How do you know?"

"Oh please," Ginny scoffed, "What do you think Bill and Charlie and all their mates did up in the tree house? Have tea parties?"

"You spied on them?" queried Fred, looking exceedingly pleased with his little sister.

"Of course I did. How did you learn to play 3-man Fred?"

"From spying on Bill and Charlie in the tree house," he answered smugly.

Harry, who by this time was feeling no pain and quite fond of everyone in the room, began to laugh at the antics of the siblings.

George ruffled Harry's head fondly, smiling at how silly Harry was behaving, "All right there Harry?"

"Yeah, I'm great!"

"Okay," Angelina drew everyone's attention back to the game; "Here's how 3-man works." She placed a set of wooden dice on the table. They looked like any common Muggle dice except that there were no numbers visible. With wizard dice, the dice remained stationary on the table and the player taps his or her wand to the die. The number would magically appear. "First person to roll a 3 is 3-man. Every time a 3 is rolled after that, 3-man drinks. The only way to get out of being 3-man, is to roll another 3 yourself. Roll a 7, person to your left drinks, an 11 it's person to your right. Double sixes is a social, everybody drinks, any other kind of double, you choose who drinks"

Angelina was talking so rapidly, Harry had lost her; he just couldn't make his mind follow what she was saying. She continued on through a list of what all the numbers meant. Harry figured he'd learn as he went. He'd never gotten anything for dinner and suddenly found himself starving again. He grabbed a bowl of crisps and started blindly reaching up to the table behind him grabbing whatever his hand came across and stuffing his face before moving on to the next item.

Ron was watching him grinning, "Got the munchies there Harry?"

Harry shrugged; it was his turn to roll the dice. Unthinking, he went to pick them up but George grabbed his arm, "Are you a Wizard or a Muggle?"

Harry stared at him in confusion, "What did you just ask?"

George started laughing and Ginny gently said, "Just tap your wand to the dice Harry."

"That's what I was doing but George stopped me!"

George laughed even harder, "That's what you were doing all right, mate! Go ahead."

Harry pointed his wand at the dice and proceeded to roll a three.

"Hey! I'm the first 3-man," he said, quite pleased with himself. He sat back with a smug smile as if he'd just single handedly won a Quidditch match.

Ginny was shaking her head, "I don't know if this is a good idea."

Hermione, who had by now downed several more glasses of punch, said, "Oh sit down Ginny and stop being a worrywart!"

Ron, shocked by Hermione's uncharacteristic attitude, sprayed his punch all over the table. 

Katie Bell was staring warily at Harry as she rolled a three causing Harry to have to take another drink, "Ginny might be right. I'm Head Girl and this whole party is under my watch. What if the Daily Prophet gets wind of the fact I helped to get Harry Potter pissed out of his gourd?"

Harry laughed, "They wouldn't print that. They'd say I'm always pissed out of my gourd and I got the rest of you to ignore the rules and drink with me. Hell, then they'd say I invited Voldemort to join us and he sat in the corner and pouted because I wouldn't let him be 3-man!"

This time it was both twins who sprayed their drinks everywhere. A few of the party guests stared around in alarm, as if expecting Voldemort to materialize instantly. Most were used to Harry's using his name and were unaffected. Ron, Ginny and Hermione laughed at him, it was good for Harry to be able to joke about this, it helped lighten his stress level.

As the game wore on, Harry couldn't seem to get out of being 3-man. Of course, everyone else playing found this out-of-character Harry extremely amusing and would cheer every time he failed to roll another three. He was happy and laughing about it, but no longer making a lot of sense. Ron and Hermione were both feeling happy themselves and paying much more attention to each other than anything involved with the game.

When a new song started playing on the wireless, Angelina jumped up and dragged Fred with her, "I love this song!" The two began dancing in the middle of the floor in the most out of tune, wild way possible. Lee sat there watching them shaking his head; "Exactly what kind of mating ritual is that suppose to be?" 

Alicia slapped him on the head, "Get up and dance Lee!"

George looked over at Katie and she at George, both shrugging their shoulders they said simultaneously, "Shall we?"

Various other couples got up and began dancing; Colin asked Ginny and Parvati moved over to Harry, "Come on Harry, for old times sake?"

Harry stared at her in confusion, "I don't know how to dance, you know that. I went to the Yule Ball with someone who looks like you. In fact, I think there was two of you then too?" He furrowed his brow trying to remember.

Parvati giggled but tugged on his arm anyway, "Give it another chance."

Harry went to stand up but tripped over the leg of the chair and fell right down on the floor, laughing hysterically. When Ron saw Harry fall, he began to laugh so hard he fell over himself and couldn't get back up. The two friends sat on the floor across from each other, each pointing at the other in glee while Hermione tut tutted above them

It wasn't until Harry noticed Ginny dancing with Colin that he suddenly didn't find anything funny anymore. A strange anger rose up within him and he had an overwhelming desire to fling himself at Colin and shake the living daylights out of him. It was a new feeling for Harry and he wasn't sure what to make of it. Colin had irritated him before, but never to the point of wanting to cause him physical harm. At this moment, Harry wanted to skip the wand and simply rip Colin's head off using his bare hands.

Noticing the sudden and growing angry expression on Harry's face, Hermione followed his gaze and smiled to herself. She pointed her wand to the wireless and turned off the music, "Come on everyone, up to bed. McGonagall will be up here shortly and we don't want her to find this punch. I can't imagine how many points Gryffindor would lose! Fred, George, Lee, go bunk in with Ron and Harry. Angelina and Alicia, I imagine you'll be staying with Katie?" With a flick of her wand, the incriminating punch bowl was gone.

Amidst groans and grumbles, the students began gathering their things as Harry made his way over to Ginny. He'd heard Hermione talking but honestly had no idea what she'd just said. 

Ginny watched as Harry made his way towards her, then just stopped in front of her staring. She looked at him quizzically and he began to laugh. He pointed his finger at her and said, "You used to have a crush on me"

Ginny's face paled. She suddenly didn't find this funny anymore. Yes, she'd had a crush on Harry and everyone knew about it, she certainly hadn't done a good job of hiding it. But Harry had never commented on it before, he'd never even acknowledged he knew about it. She knew he was aware of it, but he'd never teased or made fun of her and she didn't want him to start now. She could see the panicked look on Ron's face as he moved towards Harry, no doubt attempting to shut him up and save Ginny her dignity. Harry was still laughing, unaware of Ginny's discomfort, "and now I have one on you!"

Ginny's heart swelled so big she thought it would burst from within her and beat out loud on the common room floor. She stared at him in a daze; the intoxication she had been feeling suddenly evaporated. _Harry had a crush on her!_ _Well, I'll be damned!_ She stared back at him in amazement. Was he having her on? Surely this must be some kind of joke. She discounted that thought instantly though, Harry was never intentionally cruel, it wasn't in him. She looked deeply into his eyes and could see nothing but trust and honesty there. Yet again tonight she wondered how someone who had been raised being constantly belittled and abused could have such an amazing capacity to care.

Ron had made it over to the two of them and instead of saving Ginny, as it looked like had been his intent, he grabbed onto Harry and dragged him away. Harry hadn't admitted his crush in a quiet way and he would be beyond embarrassed come morning. "Drop it!" Ron growled to the sniggering onlookers still awake in the common room.

Ginny usually found Ron's over-protectiveness stifling and was highly irritated by it. Seeing it directed towards Harry, however, was rather endearing and she was feeling very fond of her brother.

"Come on mate, enough for tonight," he said, leading Harry up the stairs and to the boy's dormitory.

Ginny stood there, deliriously happy lost in her own thoughts and didn't notice Hermione creeping up to her and latching on to her arm as they climbed the stairs to the girls' dormitory together. "Take my advice, whatever you do tomorrow, don't bring up what he just said. If you do, he'll retreat so far it'll take forever to get back to the place you are now."

Ginny smiled her gratitude, "I know that Hermione, it was probably just the alcohol talking anyway. Most of the people here won't even remember it tomorrow."

Hermione wasn't fooled by Ginny's casualness; "There's no doubt in my mind that at some point Ron is going to give Harry the big brother speech.' Since both Harry and I are only children, I'm going to make it my responsibility to give the big sister speech' to you. Don't hurt him Gin. I don't think you realize what his developing feelings for you will mean. He's very fragile emotionally right now and you could hurt him very easily. He has no experience whatsoever with these kinds of feelings. The only emotion he was ever shown growing up was contempt. Of course he's insecure! I ask you, how could he be anything else?"

Ginny had to interrupt her, "Hermione, don't be ridiculous. There is no way Harry could actually have a crush on me that he's been hiding, no way!" The irony of the situation wasn't lost on either of them.

"That doesn't change the fact that he does and I think he has for quite some time. Be gentle with him. Go slow and don't be too hard on him when he messes up, because he will. You have no idea how clueless he can be about things like this. I love him Ginny, and I think you could really make him happy, but he's probably going to fight you all the way."

Ginny was stunned, "Hermione, I—"

The moment was broken as Professor McGonagall stormed through the portrait hole demanding the party break up and everyone get to bed this instant. Ginny continued climbing the stairs slowly, her mind whirling with the impact of Hermione's words.

Ron had pushed Harry on to his bed and he lay there gripping the edges trying to wait for the room to stop spinning. He didn't have the will or desire to change his clothes and really wasn't sure he could get up to do it anyway. Dean Thomas was already passed out in his bunk; Neville had sneaked out to bring Luna back to her own dormitory. 

Seamus and Ron were helping the twins and Lee transfigure some extra beds in the limited space left available. By the time they were through, the room was wall to wall beds with no room left to walk if you needed to. Harry kicked off his shoes and managed to undress down to his boxers before falling back down. "I don't feel so good," he muttered. "My bed keeps on turning."

"Put one foot on the floor mate," Fred, or was it George, told him.

Harry complied and found that did help a little. He lay there with his eyes closed listening to the disjointed conversations going on around him. The twins were talking about Quidditch

"I play Quidditch," Harry told them and heard their laughter. He didn't know what was so funny. There was something he was supposed to be doing, but what? Glancing over at Ron, he could see him getting his own pajamas on. Ron seemed to be having trouble standing up. He said something about the game today but Harry was confused. 

"Did we play Quidditch today?" he asked, but his voice didn't sound quite right. Again he could hear the laughing. He overheard a brief snatch of a conversation, "good to be able to forget there's a war on"

Harry's heart began pounding loudly as he felt that now familiar panic begin to seep back in. _The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches_

His tongue suddenly went dry and seemed to be too big to fit in his mouth_. Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies_

His palms began to sweat and he felt cold and clammy, wrapping the blankets around him trying to keep warm. _And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not_

He shut his eyes tightly, trying to stop the voices from speaking inside he head. _And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives_

Harry's breath was coming in rapid pants now. His hands had started to tremble and he desperately wanted to flee from the room. He knew it must be some kind of panic attack, but didn't know how to stop it. Ron must have sensed something was wrong because he leaned over Harry and whispered quietly, "Are you all right Harry?"

"I've got to make it stop," Harry pleaded.

Ron misunderstood and thought Harry was talking about the room still spinning. He pulled the hangings around his bed, "Just go to sleep Harry. I can't say as you'll feel better in the morning, but it'll help for now. Shut your eyes and go to sleep mate."

Harry nodded, glad to have an instruction to follow. He willed himself to relax and control his breathing. As his heart slowed, the alcohol overtook him and he drifted off to dreamless sleep.

_____________________

A/N: Okay, I warned you about the drinking. The way I see it, legal adult age for a Wizard is seventeen, not twenty-one. That being said, my guess some experimenting would happen around fifteen and sixteen. It's just a story and no offense intended. I was afraid of Harry being too out of character here, but he's suppose to be, it's intentional.

It's been a tough week for me, didn't get any new writing done at all. They put me on the Featured Story Board over at SIYE and for some reason, it sent me into a complete panic attack! As you all may have guessed, I'm a few chapters ahead so you shouldn't see an interruption. I think I'm over my panic and ready to continue. I have another author I want to thank for her encouragement and patience with my neuroses and suggest you check out her story if you're looking for a great read:

Nice_Hobbitses is up at Fanfiction and Fiction Ally with her story _Fly Me Back_, one of my all time favorites. It's an ongoing epic, I suggest you give it a read on a night you have nothing else to do as each chapter is longer than most fics in their entirety, well worth it however! Nice, supportive Weasley family stuff there!


	18. After Effects

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Eighteen

After Effects

Harry awoke to the sounds of movement in the dormitory. Faint shuffling, a mutter, than a loud crash that set his teeth on edge. A string of curses filled the room, some of which Harry had never even heard before. It sounded like one of the Weasley twins, but why would they be in his dorm? Harry's head was pounding although it had nothing to do with his scar. He tried to open his bleary eyes but was forced to shut them tightly against the blinding light seeping in from the window. He felt awful; he couldn't remember being involved in a fight, but surely he must have. This couldn't just be the flu? Whatever it was, there was _no way_ he was going running this morning.

He rolled his tongue around and stuck it in and out; someone must have jinxed his mouth full of cotton. Still unable to open his eyes, he tried pushing himself to a sitting position. Immediately he knew that was a bad idea as his stomach lurched and he feared he'd be sick. Forcing himself to concentrate despite the pounding of his head, he tried to remember what had happened. Quidditch matchhe hurt his armthere was a partypunch. The punch. That was it! Ginny was at the party and he had a vague recollection of talking with her but couldn't put all the pieces together. Groaning, he pulled the covers up over his head, what had he done?

His wrist was throbbing dully and he remembered tossing the sling aside. He was suppose to go easy on it for the night but he vaguely remembered some dice

The hangings around his bed were pulled mercilessly back as George Weasley's happy voice sang out, "Morning Harry! How are you feeling?"

Harry kept the covers over his head and groaned again, "Go away."

"What's this? The Boy-Who-Lived being done in by a little Fire Whiskey? Come on Harry, I thought you were made of stronger stuff than that!"

Harry could hear the amusement in George's voice as he poked his finger over and over into Harry's ribs. Harry clamped his teeth together in irritation, trying to pull away from the poking, "Sod off!"

"Well, I can see you're in a fine mood this glorious day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, makes me glad to be alive. How about you Ronniekins?" he trilled as he pulled the hangings back on his younger brother's bed.

Ron was lying on his stomach, head to the side with his eyes wide open, staring at nothing; he was positively green. George laughed at the sight of him; "You look even worse than Harry does! And that's saying a lot!"

Ron continued to stare without speaking and George lost interest in the two of them. He moved on to try and wake up Dean, who didn't seem to be willing to give up on his slumber.

Harry still had the covers over his head, but he adjusted them so he could peer at Ron. "What did I do last night?" he croaked quietly, not really sure he wanted an answer.

"You're asking me?" queried Ron. "I couldn't even tell you where I was last night."

Harry really felt awful; getting up didn't seem to be an option and the idea of breakfast made him want to heave. Maybe he could get away with just spending the day in bed?

"Come on, get up all of you and head down to the common room," said a sharp voice that took Harry a minute to realize was female.

Pulling the covers down slightly so they just reached the top of his nose, Harry realized both Hermione and Ginny had entered the dormitory. Ginny was wearing jeans and a yellow jumper that looked soft and fluffy. He had an overwhelming desire to reach out and touch it and he blushed at where his thoughts were straying. He quickly rolled over onto his stomach to hide the evidence. _Not now_, he groaned inwardly.

"I'm up, I'm up!" George was saying. "Fred, Lee and Neville are in the showers. It's the rest of them who seem incapable of getting out of bed."

Hermione marched right over to Ron and pulled the pillow from beneath his head, showing him no mercy.

"Hermione!" Ron shouted for the first time this morning, than shut his eyes quickly putting his hands to his head. "I'm sick."

"You're not sick, you're hung over and Professor McGonagall's not going to accept that as an excuse for the entire Gryffindor table being empty at breakfast."

"How are you so cheerful this morning? As I remember you had your fair share of that punch last night," Ron grumbled crossly.

"Simple," Hermione answered primly. "I used a sobering charm before I went to sleep. Why didn't you?"

Neither Ron nor Harry answered, the truth being that it had never occurred to either of them. Sometimes Hermione could be very annoying!

Ginny moved next to Harry and cautiously sat on the edge of his bed. "How are you feeling," she whispered gently.

"My head hurts," he said, still not raising his eyes to look at her. He felt like there was something important right on the edge of his consciousness, but try as he may, he couldn't quite grasp what it was.

She giggled, "You're skin is green Harry!"

Hermione had turned sharply at their conversation and demanded, "Does your head hurt from the Fire Whiskey or from your scar?"

Harry wasn't sure how to answer that question without getting himself into trouble so he remained silent.

"You did remember to practice your Occlumency last night didn't you? Even if your forgot the sobering charm you must have remembered that?"

Harry knew there was something he was supposed to do last night! He groaned again and tried to turn away from the shrill sound of her voice. It was going right through his aching head.

"Come on Hermione," Ron bailed him out. "Give him a break. Even if You-Know-Who did try and get into Harry's head last night, the fumes alone would have had him pissed as well!"

Although she tried desperately, Ginny couldn't help the hiss of breath that escaped her lips at this comment. She could feel Harry's body shaking beside her in suppressed mirth and saw even the corner of Hermione's mouth twitch.

"Still," Hermione continued after she got her features under control. "It's very important Harry, you can't afford to be skipping it."

Harry didn't seem to even have the energy to be irritated at her interference. He sighed and rolled over, looking up at Ginny. "Did I make a complete prat of myself last night?"

Ginny seemed to be studying him intently and Harry grew very nervous over why she was looking at him that way. She finally seemed to come to a decision about something as she said, "Well, you were very giggly."

Harry groaned, "Great," he mumbled.

"Come on, it was a party and everyone was in a good mood. We did slaughter Ravenclaw after all," Ginny said, lifting everyone's mood.

At the mention of the Quidditch win, Ron perked right up and sat up in his bed, "That was a great way to start the season! We've got to work on the Chasers. The Keepers for Slytherin and Hufflepuff aren't as good as Ravenclaw's so we can work on boosting the score."

Several of the other boys entered the dorm from the showers and threw their things on the beds. "Your turn," Neville said to Ron and Harry as he made his way downstairs.

Harry looked over at the girls, "If you want to head down, we'll meet you in the Common Room."

"We don't mind waiting here," Hermione said, oblivious to Harry's discomfort. Harry was sitting up in bed, the sheet clutched tightly to his bare chest. A chest that was looking more defined and muscular than she remembered, Ginny noted. His shoulders had broadened but it had gone unnoticed by how skinny Harry had been. With some weight back on him, he was looking rather dishy, she thought. He'd always be on the slim side, but these days he was looking slender rather than skinny.

As if aware of where her thoughts had roamed, she noticed Harry color brightly. It wasn't until Ron spoke that she realized the true reason, "Come on Hermione, give Harry a break. He was too pissed last night to get into his pajamas and he doesn't want to give you a show as he runs to the shower." Ron was laughing at Harry's discomfort and Harry shot a vicious glare at him.

Ginny and Hermione took pity on him. "Okay," Hermione smiled. "We'll see you downstairs. Ten minutes!"

A shower perked both boys up a little, but neither was feeling particularly boisterous. They all made their way to the Great Hall where the noise from the breakfast crowd nearly sent both Ron and Harry fleeing back upstairs.

Looking up and down the length of the Gryffindor table, Harry noted that the majority of upper classmen looked to be in rough shape. The twins had left already, along with Lee and the girls. From the looks of his classmates, Harry suspected the twins weren't high on anyone's popularity list this morning.

Dean Thomas was missing, Harry assumed he was still in bed. Seamus was sitting across from him, further down the bench, using his hands to hold up his head. Neville, although eating, had a decidedly green tinge to him. Both Parvati and Lavender looked all right, but their quietness alone was enough to let on something wasn't quite right. Hermione seemed herself, but Harry could see bags beneath Ginny's eyes. Ron looked rather gray and Harry couldn't remember ever seeing a time when Ron didn't want to eat! He imagined he probably was looking even worse than Ron was. Several people had smiled at him oddly as he sat there avoiding his breakfast, but no one outright laughed so he guessed he hadn't done anything to really embarrass himself. 

Completely lost in his own thoughts, Harry wasn't aware that Dumbledore had walked up behind him until the elderly wizard cleared his throat. Harry turned with a start.

"Good morning Harry. The Gryffindors are all looking rather tired today, overexerted yourselves at the match yesterday, I assume," Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkling merrily. "When you've finished, I'd like a word. Would you be so kind as to meet me in my office at, shall we say half nine? The password is Pepper Imp."

Harry groaned as the Headmaster walked away, he was sure Dumbledore wanted to talk about what had happened in Hogsmeade on Friday and Harry hoped he'd be able to shake the fog in his brain in order to focus and answer his questions.

"Wonder what he wants?" Ron asked.

"What's the matter Harry?" Hermione questioned.

Harry cringed, "Not looking forward to meeting him in his office. The last time I was there with him I kind of trashed the place."

Hermione was scandalized, "You what?"

Harry shut his eyes and ran his hand over them beneath his glasses. He was remembering that awful day when he both lost Sirius and gained the knowledge of what his future must hold.

"What do you mean you trashed it?" Ron asked carefully.

Harry winced. "It was that night," he said quietly.

Recognition seemed to dawn on all three faces and they nodded solemnly. Harry still hadn't told them anything of what had happened after Dumbledore sent him back from the Department of Mysteries. He'd been up there since with Moony and knew Dumbledore had replaced most of his things, still, he needed to apologize.

"I- I wasn't in a good place," he offered as a lame explanation. Opening his mouth to continue, he was at a loss for words and just looked at all of them, pleading with them to understand.

"It's okay Harry," Ginny spoke up, remembering what Harry had told her about also being possessed that night. "I'm sure Dumbledore understands. Maybe you can talk to him about it when you're up there?"

Harry nodded and stood up, grateful for the release, "I'm going to head up now, I'm really not very hungry."

His friends all watched him with concerned expressions as he wound his way out of the Great Hall.

Harry arrived at the stone gargoyle a few minutes early so he leaned against the statue and tried gathering his thoughts for a few minutes. Dumbledore was sitting at his desk as Harry entered the office. Taking a deep breath as he looked around, Harry plunged ahead, "I owe you an apology, sir."

Dumbledore seemed to understand where Harry's thoughts were centered, "There's no need for an apology Harry, I quite understand."

Harry shook his head. "I shouldn't have—"

"Harry, the past is the past. We agreed to move on, remember? You're working on forgiving me my mistakes, I can do the same for yours."

Harry nodded and gave Dumbledore a weak smile. "I assume you want to talk about what happened with Remus in Hogsmeade?"

Dumbledore folded his hands beneath his chin and leaned forward, "I do."

"My scar was bothering me more and more all day. I kept getting brief flashes; I could tell that he was happy. I don't know what he was so happy about; I didn't get a vision on anything. Suddenly, it was like I could sense him there; I don't know how to explain it. I used the Occlumency and was able to block him out."

Dumbledore nodded gravely, "I feared that the wards surrounding Hogwarts might have been aiding your Occlumency skills. I had voiced my concern to Remus that I suspected Voldemort would try something once you were outside Hogwarts boundaries.

I'm still not sure as to whether or not this was the case. You were able to block him out after he'd made his presence known. However, he was able to get through to you once you were outside Hogwarts protection as well. I fear his happiness might have been his ability to detect that you were off the school grounds."

Harry was feeling slightly irritated that Dumbledore had suspected this, warned Remus, but hadn't seen fit to inform _him_ of anything, "With all due respect, sir, you want me to trust you again, but you also need to trust me! I need to know these things beforehand, not after the fact."

"You're right Harry. I didn't voice my concern directly to you, however, I had my reasons. I was afraid if I told you my suspicions, your defenses would be lower. You can be highly susceptible to suggestion, and you tend to believe the worst about yourself. I was afraid if I let you know my concerns, your own self confidence might have undermined us."

Harry felt his cheeks flame red, "Do you think we should test it?"

"Yes, we'll have to try it with Moony again. First I want to practice more with the Occlumency. Remus tells me he informed you of a practice session with Professor Snape."

Harry kept his features carefully guarded, "Yes, sir."

Dumbledore studied him a moment than nodded, "Very good, I'll arrange it. I understand congratulations are in order on your Apparating skills. Well done, Harry."

He couldn't help the flush of pride as Dumbledore beamed at him. "I still need to try a long distance one."

"All in good time. Maybe over the holidays we can arrange something. Why don't you head back on up to Gryffindor tower Harry? I dare say, you look like you could use a nap. I always find a good nap quite refreshing, particularly after a long night."

Dumbledore was smiling benignly at him but Harry had the distinct impression he knew far more than he was letting on. If he did, however, he wasn't offering any hangover cures, Harry noted.

He smiled at the Headmaster and left his office.

When he reached the common room, it was fairly empty. Ron was asleep on the couch in front of the fire while Hermione and Ginny were sitting at a table with various books and some parchment spread out in front of them. Harry sat down with the girls and they both greeted him warmly.

"How'd it go?" Hermione asked.

"Okay," Harry shrugged.

"You survived," Ginny grinned.

"Harry, how much of last night do you remember?" asked Hermione. He heard Ginny's breath catch but wasn't sure what that was about.

"Bits and pieces," he answered. "Not much after we started playing that game. Why?"

Hermione hesitated for a minute, biting her lip, "At one point, you mentioned a Prophecy. I'm assuming you meant the one at the Department of Mysteries?"

Harry felt icy fingertips tightening around his neck and he stiffened instantly, hunching his shoulders as if preparing for battle. "I don't know, I don't remember," he mumbled. _Neither can live while the other survives._

"Harry—," Hermione began but he cut her off.

"What are you studying?" he asked, looking to change the subject.

She watched Harry close up from Hermione's question and wondered what that was all about? It was obviously something he was unwilling to talk about. "Muggle Studies," she sighed, scrunching up her nose. "Muggles have some strange ideas." 

Thinking of the Muggles that he grew up with, Harry scoffed, "You're telling me?"

"We were talking about divorce. Did you know there is no such thing as divorce in the Wizarding world?" Hermione asked. "I mean think about it, the only ones in this school with divorced parents are Muggleborns!"

Harry had never given it much thought, but was happy Hermione seemed to be backing off. He knew he wouldn't be able to hold her off forever, he could tell by the look on her face that she was irritated to be dropping the subject. But for now he needed to; he just wasn't ready yet. 

"No, I didn't. What happens if they don't want to be married anymore?" One of Dudley's mates had divorced parents and he remembered hearing the boy gloat about how he'd get each parent to buy him bigger and bigger things trying to outshine the other.

"A wizard and a witch can't marry until they submit to a compatibility spell. If the spell says the couple is a match, they're joined for life. You cannot break the bond," Ginny answered. "It works the same way for arranged marriages, even if they've been betrothed since birth, they have to pass the compatibility test before they can marry. It's ruined many plans for family mergers."

Hermione's sensibilities seemed affronted by this news, "Arranged marriages! They're still done? What if someone never wanted it in the first place? Even if they did, feelings can change! What if one partner is abusive, or drinks too much or."

Ginny seemed surprised by Hermione's outburst. She shrugged her shoulders, "That's just how it works. If one partner really doesn't want it, the compatibility test would most likely fail. In Muggle Studies we've been reading about how many divorces there are in the Muggle world and how differently things are treated. In the Wizarding world, there isn't anywhere near the amount of abuse. First off, if a Wizard strikes a Witch she can turn around and hex him into oblivion. A wand makes the playing field much more even."

"What about child abuse?" Hermione asked.

"What do you mean, striking your own children?"

Hermione nodded, "Unfortunately, that's very common in the Muggle world too."

Ginny shook her head, "Not in the Wizarding world, you'd be sent to Azkaban for it immediately without a trial. I can't imagine anyone striking a child anyway."

Harry had been quiet and was again growing uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was heading, "Who administers these compatibility spells?"

"A member of the Wizengamot when you apply for a marriage application. Dumbledore can do it I think," Ginny answered.

"Why do Wizards and Witches marry so young? I mean, your parents are about the same age as mine but you've got a bunch of older siblings. Your parents married right out of school too, didn't they Harry?"

Harry shrugged, "I think so."

Ginny thought about it a minute, "I don't know? Why do Muggles wait so long?"

"Maybe it has something to do with not having a spell telling them if they are right for each other," Hermione muttered, more to herself than Harry and Ginny. "Muggles seem to havelooser morals than wizards do, I've noticed."

Ginny glanced around the room nervously, as if afraid someone would overhear her discussing this. "I don't know much about Muggles, but the marriage ceremony is a binding magical contract. Generally it means one partner for life."

"It's very old fashioned," Hermione sniffed. "It's sort of how the Muggle world used to be."

"One of the Wizarding World's forefathers is Merlin, so, it's modeled kind of like Camelot days still," Harry offered.

"Exactly!" Ginny exclaimed, beaming at him. Her smile made Harry perk right up. He felt pleased to have gotten it right. His head was finally beginning to clear and he was glad of it. Although he'd had fun the night before, he didn't like the out-of-control feeling the Fire Whiskey had left him with. Moody's words of _Constant Vigilance_ swam in his head and he knew he was nowhere near vigilant last night_. How could he have let mention of the Prophecy slip, to Hermione no less? _ It served as a warning to him and he knew the next time he'd be much more cautious. In the back of his mind he was aware that he'd slept the night through without a nightmare or a sleeping potion, so he also stored that bit of information away.

As October wore on, Harry continued his extra classes. He and Tonks were working on Karate, Tae Kwondo, and straight up Kickboxing. Harry found he was enjoying the physical activity as much as the advanced spells he was learning, some of which he planned on showing the D.A. He thought it would be beneficial to show the D.A. some of this Martial Arts stuff as well, but couldn't do so without giving himself away. Dumbledore wanted to keep his extra training quiet so Harry was forced to keep it secret. The advanced spells he could always claim he learned from a book.

He and Moony had begun some basic Fencing. Harry felt like an idiot the first time he tried to wield the sword against Remus, who was quite good. But, as Moony predicted, with time and practice he was growing fond of the sport. As they sparred, Moony would share stories of his younger days, and some of the exploits he, Sirius and James would get up to. Harry enjoyed hearing these stories and it helped him to once again see his father in a more positive light.

Halloween arrived and the castle was decorated in festive splendor. Jack-o-lanterns filled all the corners and floating candles lit the Great Hall. The banners were colored in black and orange while charmed bats fluttered against the ceiling. Professor Flitwick had charmed several scarecrows and placed them in the Entrance Hall. They would dual whenever anyone passed them. Everyone was very amused with them at first, but over time they had become rather annoying. 

Preparations for the evening's feast were underway and Ron was already salivating over what the choices might be. The last class of the day was DADA and Professor Trent was dressed in bright orange robes with black bats printed throughout. She'd placed heavy black liner around her eyes and something about her appearance seemed very sinister to Harry. He imagined in was a holdover from Muggle Halloweens of his childhood. Professor's Trent's costume fit the bill to what he would have pictured a witch to be as a kid.

"Today marks the fifteenth anniversary of the first fall of the Dark Lord," she began the class. Both Ron and Hermione started and looked warily at Harry. His face remained impassive and he refused to acknowledge their gaze. 

He was well aware of the date and what it meant. Although he never stopped to dwell on it overmuch, he usually spent some portion of Halloween looking at the photo album Hagrid had given him during his first year. For years it had been a brief look-through, a silent tribute, and he'd never mentioned it to anyone. This year, the photo album remained in his trunk and he hadn't yet decided if he wanted to look through it. The images of Sirius within the photo album had troubled him greatly over the summer at Privet Drive and he'd finally buried it at the bottom of his trunk. He'd yet to remove it.

"Your assignment is a four foot essay on the first defeat. I want your ideas on what it was that brought the Dark Lord down. I don't want you to get into anything to do with his Resurrection, simply the first defeat." Her gaze was fixed on Harry, "I'd thought about excusing you from this assignment Mr. Potter, but decided against it based on the fact you were only a year old, you're not privy to any more information than what the others will find in books."

Hermione and Ron were staring at Harry apprehensively and he knew they were wondering if he were going to blow up at Professor Trent like he did at Umbridge last year. He kept his silence; however, she had no way of knowing what he heard when the Dementors got too close.

Harry continued to stare at her unflinching and she took that as acceptance and moved on. Inside, Harry's heart was beating and his stomach clenched at the thought of having to do this essay. He hated the idea of his classmates having to study up on _him_ in books too! Just what he needed — more celebrity status! It then occurred to Harry that Malfoy would be getting this assignment too and he nearly groaned out loud. He wanted out of this classroom and he wanted out now! It took all his will power not to bolt from the room.

When the bell finally rang, he was first out the door and didn't even bother to wait for Ron and Hermione. He was grateful they didn't call after him to alert anyone else he was sprinting away. He just needed to think and he wanted to get away. He went up the stairs to the Gryffindor entrance, through the Common Room and up to his dorm without seeing or talking to anyone. He sat on his bed and stared at his trunk, a silent internal debate raging.

After several minutes, he quietly walked over to the trunk and dug through for the photo album. Sitting back on his bed, he opened it slowly and stared at the smiling faces of his parents. They were young in this photo and still wearing Hogwarts school robes. Harry could make out the faint outline of some of the chairs in the Common Room. He'd often thought about that, the fact that his parents had sat in the same chairs he used now to do his homework in.

He looked at a few more pictures but glanced up as he heard the door open. Ginny poked her head in, "Harry? Is it all right if I come in?" she asked.

"Sure," he replied, wondering what had brought her up here. "Ron's not back from class yet. He was with Hermione."

"I'm not looking for Ron. I was in the Common Room when you ran through there. Is everything okay?"

Harry sighed, "Just brilliant. I've just been given a homework assignment involving studying myself. Couldn't be better." He tried to keep the bitterness out of his sarcasm.

"What are you looking at?"

Harry stiffened, he'd always kept this album very private and even Ron and Hermione had only seen little bits of it. Ginny seemed to sense his hesitancy, "You don't have to show it to me, I was just asking."

Harry scooted up and made a spot for her on the bed, "It's a photo album of my parents. Hagrid gave it to me." 

He saw her eyes open wide and she gently sat down next to him tracing her finger on the cover. "Do you mind?" she asked tentatively.

Oddly enough, he didn't. "No. This one is at the house in Godric's Hollow. Moony told me he took it."

Ginny's fingers moved over the images, "I can't believe how much you look like your father. Bill looks the most like my dad, but not nearly as exact as you and your dad."

"Yeah, everyone says that."

She went to turn the page and he felt his body tense up, he braced himself waiting for the next photo. "That's their wedding," he said briefly, staring at the familiar, younger face of his parent's best man.

"Sirius looks so young," she ventured and Harry nodded.

"Azkaban really aged him," he whispered.

Ginny didn't push him but turned the page and moved on to the next photo as he breathed a sigh of relief. _That wasn't so bad_. He was aware of Ron poking his head in, but he withdrew it just as quickly.

The next photo showed a baby Harry sitting on his mother's lap with a small birthday cake in front of him. The number one kept flashing bright green; it was one of Harry's favorite photographs. 

"That's you!" Ginny squealed in delight and Harry wasn't sure why she was so pleased. Ron and Hermione both entered the room tentatively and joined them on Harry's bed.

"Look at baby Harry," Ginny chirped and Hermione made the same kind of squeaking noise Ginny had.

The four of them spent the remainder of the afternoon on Harry's bed, turning the pages of the photo album and laughing at some of the images. Harry was surprised to find he enjoyed showing them the photos and it was much easier and pleasant enjoying them together than sitting there looking at them alone.

The feast was splendid as usual and all the food Ron had been hoping for and more was available. A good time was had by all and the remainder of the evening was spent playing chess and other games in the Common Room. Harry had a new deck of Exploding Snap cards he'd received for his birthday and went up to the dorm to get them so they could all play something together. 

As he was standing in front of his trunk, his scar exploded in pain, the force being enough to drop him to his knees to the floor. He pressed his hands to his head and attempted to stifle the scream trying to get out of him. Images of a neighborhood in flames flashed in his mind, the Dark Mark clearly visible in the sky hovering over the entire town. He'd never seen it so big. Although the flashes were brief, they were intense and it took all of Harry's strength to try and close the connection. Gasping with the effort, he tried to force both the images and the insidious presence from his mind.

When Ron entered the room, Harry was still on the ground panting heavily. His scar was burning intensely and making his eyes water.

"Harry!" Ron yelled, trying to help him rise to his feet. Harry could barely stand and Ron ended up wrapping Harry's arm around his shoulders and dragging him over to the bed. "Hermione, get up here!" Ron bellowed.

Both Hermione and Ginny entered very quickly and made their way towards Harry. Ginny went to touch his scar but he forcibly pushed her arm away. The scar was showing up livid red on his forehead.

"What did you see Harry?" Hermione asked, not even questioning what had happened.

"Godric's Hollow," Harry whispered, shutting his eyes tightly against the images. "He's having an Anniversary celebration."

________

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed last chapter! I'm glad drunkHarry didn't seem to offend anyone! It was a one-time thing and I enjoyed letting him be a normal teenager for a night. Don't worry, there is plenty more angst and action/adventure to come, fairly quickly. ;)

For those of you waiting for the H/G stuff, it really begins to roll next chapter. Please R/R and let me know what you think, I love hearing it!


	19. Revelations

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Nineteen

Revelations

November settled in and with it came icy rains and a bone chilling rawness. The lake froze over with a very thin layer of ice early on. Professor Flitwick was fond of saying he hadn't seen weather like it since he was a lad.

The stone walls of the castle seemed to hold the cold and Harry suspected it was intentional to keep students from milling about in the corridors and instead send them quickly to their classrooms. Aside from the dungeon, where Potions was held, all the classrooms seemed comfortably warm and cheery.

It was midway through a week of dreary, damp drizzle that Professor Dumbledore stood up in the Great Hall and made an announcement that put fear in the hearts of all young wizards.

In trying to lift the spirits of the students, who were showing signs of strain amidst the constant threat of war combined with the overbearing weather, the Headmaster had decided to hold another Yule Ball.

Immediately young witches began talking excitedly amongst each other, planning on the evening, the cold nearly forgotten. Harry, like the vast majority of the young wizards, felt a pit grow in his stomach as he remembered the fiasco of the last Yule Ball.

He was going to have to go through the humiliation of asking someone again! Harry thought he'd rather do Occlumency lessons with Snape than have to put himself through that embarrassment. He knew instantly whom he'd like to ask as a vision of long red-gold hair arose in his mind, but didn't think he'd be able to work up the nerve. He raised his juice glass, trying to moisten his suddenly dry lips.

The Yule Ball was to be held at the end of term, right before students returned home for the Christmas break. Harry assumed he'd be staying at Hogwarts anyway, he always did. _Except last year_, his mind whispered, but he squashed that thought quickly. He didn't want to remember last Christmas.

Harry turned to Ron expecting to see the same dread he was feeling on his friend's face. Instead he saw a huge grin as Ron looked directly across the table into Hermione's eyes.

"Hermione, would you like to go to the Yule Ball with me?" he asked.

Hermione beamed at him and gave him a brilliant smile in return; "I'd love to!"

Harry remembered the huge row the two of them had in fourth year over Ron's not noticing Hermione was a girl. Judging by the looks on both his best friends' faces, Ron had certainly made up for it. He admired Ron's guts for asking her right then and there at the breakfast table, in front of everyone.

Harry noticed Ginny beaming at her brother. In fact, Parvati, Lavender and most of the other Gryffindor girls seemed to be staring dreamily at Ron and Hermione. Harry took mental note that Ron had won points all around by just speaking up directly. He wondered if what the girls liked was the fact he asked right away, or that he asked in front of everyone? Maybe he should just do the same and ask Ginny right now? 

Harry looked over at Ginny; she was smiling happily at Ron and Hermione and teasing Ron about finally getting his act together. No, he didn't want to ask her in front of everyone, Ron and Hermione were dating anyway, of course they would go together. Still, the four of them were all good friends; it would be fun to all go together. As Harry thought about it, he realized he didn't want to ask Ginny to go to the ball as a friend, he wanted to ask her for real. 

Would he be able to get the words out? Would she laugh in his face? He'd had his chance with her years ago and didn't even notice her, would she be insulted that he was finally noticing now? His palms were beginning to sweat so he told Ron and Hermione he'd meet them in class and bolted out the door without really even looking at Ginny.

As he skidded out the doors, he ran right into Professor Dumbledore, the cause of all his current inner turmoil. He couldn't help the scowl that appeared across his face, which seemed to only heighten the twinkle in Dumbledore's eye.

"Good morning Harry! Are you in a rush to get _to_ someone or away from someone?" the Headmaster asked with a chuckle.

"Morning", Harry faltered and Dumbledore smiled.

"I love the drama a Ball announcement always invokes. But alas, on to more serious matters. There have been some developments I'd like you to be aware of. If you'd follow me?" Dumbledore extended his arm in the direction of his office and Harry changed his direction to follow.

"What kind of developments, sir?"

Dumbledore didn't speak until they were riding the moving staircase up to his office. "As you know, Voldemort has been quiet since the attack in Godric's Hollow."

Harry had told Dumbledore about his vision and the Headmaster suspected Voldemort had wanted Harry aware of that particular destruction. It had been a massacre with several Muggle and Wizarding families destroyed. There didn't seem to be any strategic means to the attack taking place in Godric's Hollow and Dumbledore thought it was more a show of defiance, a lashing out at the past. "Our sources have informed us that Voldemort is using the skills of a curse breaker. It's what we've suspected for some time."

"Bill's friend Declan Morrissey?" Harry asked, remembering meeting him on the day they had gone into Diagon Ally.

Dumbledore seemed surprised Harry knew about Bill's friend, but he answered the question. "Our sources tell us Voldemort is leaning heavily on him for assistance, but we're still unsure as to whether or not he had agreed to help. Someone is helping him, however and what concerns me is the nature of curses Mr. Morrissey works on in Egypt."

"The nature of curses?"

"He's a specialist in curses involving familial ties. The ancient Egyptians were famous for the level of magic they used to protect their treasures."

"So how does that relate here? Obviously we're having trouble with the wardsthe wards?" Harry felt a chill run down his spine as he raised his eyes to meet Dumbledore's piercing gaze, "Familial ties meaning blood magic?"

"Exactly."

Harry was stunned for a moment, what did that mean for the Dursleys?

Dumbldore seemed to know what he was going to ask before he voiced his concerns, "We've got a 24-hour guard at Privet Drive although I don't feel the Dursleys are in any danger right now. Voldemort wants you Harry, the Dursleys are his way to get to you, and they serve him better alive at the moment. My concern is that if we can not stop whatever tinkering Declan Morrissey is doing with the wards, if in fact he is aiding Voldemort, we may not be able to rely on the safety of Little Whinging next summer."

Harry brightened up at this, "I might not have to go back?"

Dumbledore had a very sad expression on his face as he studied Harry, "Not back to Privet Drive, but we still need you to be with your aunt. Unless anything else changes, it's still the safest place for you to be."

Harry sighed, "I can handle one more year with the Dursleys. Where would we go? You can't be thinking of bringing them to Grimmauld Place? They'd never agree to that. I highly doubt you'll get them to agree to leave Privet Drive just because of me! Blimey, Uncle Vernon would more likely than not just hand me over if they asked him rather than leave his home."

"I'm not sure Harry, we haven't got that far yet. I'm not entirely confident of the safety of Grimmauld Place anymore. With the work Declan Morrissey has been doing in Egypt, the Fidelius Charm is also in question. I'm beginning to suspect he may have found a way around part of the Charm."

"How do you mean?"

"They managed to locate Privet Drive, but never entered. I suspect they haven't completely broken the Charm, but have made some progress."

"So Grimmauld Place wouldn't be safe anymore either, because Kreacher already told them we were there?" Harry was feeling that familiar panic rising within him. Either Moony or one of the Weasleys was always at that location. If something were to happen, one of them was bound to come to some harm. He didn't think he could handle that.

Fawkes, Dumbledore's brilliant red and gold phoenix, sailed over and perched on Harry's shoulder. Harry felt a calmness seep over him. Dumbledore smiled, "Fawkes has always been very fond of you Harry. Grimmauld Place is still the safest place for us to be. All the members of the Order are aware of the situation and are on heightened alert."

Harry took a deep breath and nodded, "Is that all, sir?"

"Well, a bit of advice, if you want it. Ask whomever it is you're thinking of to the Ball Harry, before someone else does."

Harry started and looked quickly up into Dumbledore's smiling face_. Was he that transparent?_ "Yes sir," he mumbled, feeling heat rising to his cheeks.

"Now, I suppose I've made you late for class?"

Harry pulled himself together. "Yeah, I've got to get to Defense Against the Dark Arts. My paper on me is due today," he grumbled with distaste.

"Excuse me?"

"The assignment on the first fall of Voldemort."

Dumbledore's brow was knitted in what appeared to be confusion for a moment. Harry was surprised, he didn't think anything happened in this school Dumbledore wasn't aware of. "I see. I trust you've kept certain information on that subject to yourself?"

Harry knew he was speaking of the Prophecy, "Yes sir. I only put down what came from books. Ron and Hermione helped a lot with this one."

"Yes, I'm sorry Harry. I imagine this was a difficult assignment."

Harry merely shrugged.

"All right, off to class with you then. Tell Professor Trent I detained you and to see me if she has any questions."

"Thank you sir," Harry said.

He ambled his way through the maze of hallways on his way to his DADA class. He didn't have Hermione with him to hurry him along so he moved at his own pace. His mind was a jumble of thoughts on everything Dumbledore had said as well as on the Yule Ball. He knew he should be concentrating more on the problems with the wards, they were more important. Still, he couldn't help that the announcement this morning kept working it's way to the top of his mind.

He wanted to ask Ginny to the ball. There was no point in denying it, she was the only one he'd like to go with. Would she want to go with him? They had forged a much closer friendship since the summer, but would she be interested in going with him as a date? Maybe she already had one? Maybe, like Dumbledore had suggested, someone had already asked her? Harry found he was quite irritated by that thought. He wouldn't like to see Ginny dancing on someone else's arm.

Dancing! That was another problem. Harry didn't know how to dance and there wasn't anyone who could teach him. He'd make a fool of himself again like he did with Parvati the last time. She'd had to lead and he just stumbled along blindly behind her. Ginny most certainly would tease him for that! She still teased Neville about trouncing all over her feet at the last Yule Ball.

He didn't think Ron would mind if he asked Ginny to the Ball, he'd probably encourage it. Would he mind it if he knew Harry wanted to ask her as more than just a friend though?

His thoughts were interrupted as he reached the door to his class and went in, quickly moving to the seat beside Hermione. Both Ron and Hermione looked at him questioningly as Professor Trent said, "Thank you for joining us Mr. Potter. Class began ten minutes ago."

"Sorry," Harry mumbled, "I was with Professor Dumbledore."

"I see. Do you have your homework assignment?"

Harry nodded and handed her the essay. He'd worked long and hard with Ron and Hermione on this paper. The sheer volume of articles in the library about Harry and his family astounded him. He was both fascinated and horrified by the kind of facts many of the references the books contained. Information on his parent's lives that he never knew and it made him feel strange and surreal learning about them through books.

His mother had been studying to become a Healer before she left to have him, he'd never known that. His father worked for the Ministry as an Unspeakable. There were whole sections on James' Quidditch career as a Chaser and team captain. Voldemort had killed the entire Potter line; Harry was all that remained.

The most difficult aspect for Harry had been writing about Sirius' role. Most books still listed him as the secret keeper. Since the Department of Mysteries, Dumbledore had been working to get the truth out, but Fudge had been stalling his attempts, no doubt wanting to cover up yet another of his blunders. Harry was determined to put nothing in his paper that didn't come straight from a text, but this was the one thing he couldn't concede on. He owed Sirius that much.

He sat alone in the library while working on that portion of his essay. He kept it brief, but stated firmly that Peter, not Sirius, was the secret keeper and that Sirius had wrongly been imprisoned for twelve years. Ron and Hermione had respected his need for solitude and didn't intrude although he was aware of their concerned glances while he worked. He still wasn't sure what they had put about it in their own essays, he just didn't have the heart to ask.

The assignment had generated many a discussion in class on how the Dark Lord could be defeated. Everything from Avada Kedavra to a Muggle handgun had been discussed and cast aside. The vast majority of the class believed it would be Dumbledore who finally brought him down. Harry had kept his lips sealed in a grim line and tried desperately to block these discussions out. He was so afraid he'd burst with the pressure he felt and spill to them all that only he could actually kill Voldemort, if it could be done at all.

Ron and Hermione could sense his agitation, but assumed it had more to do with the touchy subject of Voldemort than his actual defeat. He was immensely glad to have this assignment done with. He was tired of the looks and questions from his classmates. Some of the other sixth years had taken to using him as a kind of reference material and it was sorely testing his temper. Malfoy had been heckling him mercilessly and he hadn't even felt up to slinging it back. He just wanted this whole assignment over with!

As the days went by, Harry continued to lose his nerve whenever Ginny approached him. Several times when they were alone he'd nearly gotten the words out, but someone or something always interrupted them. He was beginning to doubt the Sorting Hat's wisdom in putting him in Gryffindor. He certainly wasn't feeling particularly courageous. 

Like last time, girls were always huddled in groups, giggling whenever a boy passed them in the corridor. Squeals and laughter rang out repeatedly along with the discussions on what to wear. It seemed even Quidditch had been forsaken in favor of talking about the upcoming Ball.

Ginny hadn't said she was going with anyone so he still had a chance. Maybe if he waited long enough, she'd say yes just to have someone to go with? He didn't really want her to go with him as a last resort, however, he wanted her to _want_ to go with him. Why did Dumbledore have to decide to have a Ball of all things anyway? Why couldn't they have had a Quidditch Exhibition or a Duel or something? Why another ruddy ball? 

Tonks had solved one of his problems for him, as part of his physical training she'd volunteered to teach him to dance. Harry was embarrassed at first, but was grateful to learn so he put up with her teasing. She even taught him to steer! Harry thought it was better when he did because if he let Tonks lead, she kept crashing him into things. She kept joking with him that if he didn't hurry up and ask a girl to the Ball, all these dancing lessons would be for naught!

Harry received his rudest awakening one night as he and Ron had just gone up to bed. Hermione was still doing some last minute studying.

"So, have you got a date for the Ball yet?" Ron asked as they lay down for the night. They'd kept the hangings open as they talked before falling asleep.

"No."

"Better get a move on mate. Remember what happened the last time."

"I know. It's not like last time though, I don't _have_ to have a date to lead the dancing. It wouldn't matter if I went alone."

"True. Not to anyone but Malfoy anyway." Ron was grinning when he said this, knowing the effect it would have on Harry.

Harry's eyes flew open wide,_ Malfoy_! He hadn't thought about that! He'd never live the teasing down if he showed up without a date. "Bloody Hell, I _do_ need to find a date! What's up with everyone over this Ball anyway? People keep giving me all kinds of funny smiles and stares."

Instead of acting confused, Ron outright laughed, "They're just waiting to see how long it takes you to get up the nerve to ask Ginny!"

Harry sat straight up in bed and looked over at his friend, "What?"

"Come on Harry, they all heard you the night of the Ravenclaw game. Why do you think no one else has approached either one of you?"

Harry was completely at a loss and had the uncomfortable feeling that he didn't want to know what Ron was talking about, "All heard what?"

"They all heard you say you had a crush on Ginny," Ron laughed.

Harry felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. He knew it was a good thing he was already lying down or he'd fall down, "I said that?"

"You really don't remember?"

"Did Gi-Did she hear me say that," Harry asked in a very soft voice, dreading the answer.

Ron sensed Harry's discomfort and stopped teasing him, "Well, yeah, she did. Just ask her to go, mate. I know she'll say yes."

Harry didn't respond, he needed a minute to let this all sink in. He told Ginny he had a crush on her? _Merlin's Beard!_ Would there ever be an event at Hogwarts that didn't involve causing him some great personal humiliation?

"Although I can't see why she'd want to go with you? Bit on the skinny side you are with that hair mussed all about. Guess she could go for the scruffy look."

"Scruffy look!" Harry shouted indignantly, tossing his pillow at Ron.

Ron grabbed the pillow and put in under his head, "Thanks mate!"

Harry leaned over and pulled both pillows out from under Ron with force, "You prat," he grumbled fondly.

Ron just laughed at him and they continued trading barbs and insults long before they finally fell asleep.

It was a Friday night shortly after dinner and Ginny was alone in the Common Room. She was pacing back and forth and glaring expectantly at the stairs leading to the boy's dormitory. She knew Harry had an Occlumency lesson with Professor Snape tonight and he'd been dreading it. She planned on catching him before he left. It had been several weeks since the Yule Ball had been announced and Harry still hadn't asked her to go. She thought he was close to it several times, but they'd always been interrupted. Not one to sit on her laurels and wait, Ginny was planning on asking him tonight. She'd just walk right up to him and say since they were friends and neither one of them had dates, why don't they just go together?

She was nearly hyperventilating at the thought. Harry had admitted to her nearly a month ago that he had a crush on her, but it hadn't gone any further. Despite hearing it with her own ears, Ginny was hesitant to believe it. She'd allowed herself to hope once before and still had the painful memories to prove it. She didn't want to be known as the girl mooning over Harry Potter anymore. She'd worked too hard to get past all that.

__

Still, her traitorous heart would whisper, _you do want to go with him_. And she did want to go with him, more than anything. No matter how much she had grown, both in years and maturity, she was still that nervous little girl with a big-eyed crush where he was concerned. A mere glance from him could turn her knees to jelly. Most times, he was completely unaware of the effect he had on her. Unrequited love was not all it was cracked up to be in romance novels, it was humiliating and it hurt!

Okay, they were friends. They were good friends and had a good time with each other. He said he had a crush on her, but that could have been just the Fire Whiskey talking. Bloody hell, Harry was so far gone that night he could have thought he was talking to Cho Chang!

She gritted her teeth in frustration, _where was he_? If he didn't hurry up and get down here she was going to lose her nerve! If the Common Room started to fill up with people she'd never have the guts to do this! Her heart felt like it was double knotted and her dinner was fighting to come back up. _Stop it! You've grown past this, stop tormenting yourself._ If he says no, he says no. Move on, ask someone else. 

She knew Colin Creevy wanted to ask her, he'd just been hesitant of stepping on Harry's toes. Why did everything in her life have to come back to Harry Potter?

At least her brother had gotten his act together. Ron asked Hermione the moment the Ball was announced. The couple were rarely a few feet from each other these days and one or the other, if not both, always had a silly puppy dog expression on their faces. She had to admit she was slightly envious. Not that she'd deny either her brother or Hermione their happiness, they'd waited a long time for each other. Still, in her heart, Ginny wondered how much longer she would have to wait.

Maybe this was to be her torment in life, to have him close enough to touch, but never quite reach. It was time to make her move, now or never, do or die! She was going to ask Harry to go to the Ball with her.

Harry hurried down the stairs from the dormitory, knowing he was already late and Professor Snape would be in a bad mood before they even attempted Occlumency. Hopefully having Moony and Professor Dumbledore there would be enough to distract him until Harry arrived. He was dreading doing this, but was determined to show the Potions Master what he had accomplished. So help him, he'd use everything he had to keep Snape out of his head tonight. 

So lost in his own thoughts was he, Harry didn't notice Ginny in the Common Room until he nearly ran into her on his way to the Portrait Hole.

"Ginny! I'm sorry, I didn't see you there!" he exclaimed.

"Story of my life," she sighed distractedly.

"Huh?"

"Never mind. Harry, I wanted to talk to you about something?"

"Er, okay. Could it be when I get back though? I was suppose to be in Dumbledore's office a few minutes ago."

"This will only take a minute. It's about the Yule Ball." Ginny took a deep breath and seemed to be gearing herself up for something. "Obviously Ron and Hermione are going together, and since we all have been getting on so well—"

Harry's heart started pounding so loud he thought people would start coming down from their dorms to see what the commotion was about. She was going to ask him! Ginny was going to ask him to the Ball! And she was going to ask him to go as friends. That is not what Harry wanted! Before he had time to stop and consider what he was doing, before he had time to think about anything, he blurted, "Ginny, would you go to the ball with me?"

He couldn't believe he had said it. But he did, just like that! It didn't come out sounding all that terrible either, at least he didn't think it did. It certainly was better than the time he'd asked Cho in fourth year. 

Ginny looked as shocked as he did. "Yes Harry, I would like that," she said softly, seeming more stunned than pleased. He'd worry about that later, she had said yes and no mention of going as friends was made.

"Well then, that's settled," he smiled at her and ran out the Portrait Hole, "I'll see you when I get back!" He bolted through the corridors with a grin from ear to ear. He felt almost like he could fly! If Snape managed to break through his defenses tonight the only thing he would see was the huge smiling face of Ginny Weasley. He did it! She was going to the Ball with him! With him. As his date. He tried to suppress the ridiculous urge to give high-fives to all the suits of armor as he ran.

Harry's good mood was diminished slightly by the scowl on Snape's face as he entered Dumbledore's office. The Headmaster and Moony greeted him warmly, however.

"Well Potter, now that you've finally seen fit to grace us with your presence, can we get on with it? I haven't got all night," Snape nearly spat at him.

"I'm ready."

"We're about to find out, Legilimens." Harry was unprepared and for an instant saw Sirius falling through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries before he forced the memory out. He scrunched up his forehead in concentration, trying to focus on keeping his mind blank and clear. He could feel the familiar pushing sensation and concentrated with all his will on pushing it back. He felt his body start to tremble with the exertion. It was like a tug of war over his mind. Beads of sweat broke out on his forehead and he distractedly noticed Snape was also sweating, though steady on his feet.

After a good fifteen minutes of this intense battle of the minds, Harry was growing weaker and he felt his mind starting to falter. Drawing on every last bit of energy he could muster, he shut his eyes tightly and willed his shield to hold. All his power went into forcing Snape back, he had to get him out of his head! 

In a flash of light, he could make out the image of a cottage against the night sky. It was burning and the Dark Mark hung in the sky above it. Walking through the front door and up the staircase, everything seemed oddly familiar, yet distant. Smoke was heavy and thick yet Harry walked right through the flames. The smoke burned his nose and throat and he gasped to fill his lungs. The smell of burning was overpowering yet still he followed the dim figure of a man running up the stairs. He could hear a baby crying, a pitiful, wailing cry. It sounded like the child was in pain. 

He entered the room where the crying was coming from. There was a baby on the floor tugging on the arm of a woman lying prone, her body pinning the baby in place. Blood was pouring down the baby's face from a cut on his forehead. A man knelt over the body of the woman, brushing the long red tendrils of hair from her face. The woman's green eyes were wide and staring lifeless at nothing, her life washed clean away. Harry knew that face!

With a jolt he was forced from the memory and physically hurled to his knees. He was dimly aware of Snape falling to the floor in front of him. Harry's mind was racing as he tried to process what he'd just seen. Part of him felt stunned, frozen on the floor unable to move. Snape hadn't used the Pensieve this time, was this one of the memories he had been hiding from Harry last year?

"Harry, Severus?" Dumbldore questioned, "What happened? Are you both all right?"

Snape looked nearly apocalyptic with rage. Harry suspected if it weren't for the other witnesses in the room, his professor would have attacked him. "You were supposed to keep me out of your mind only. It's Occlumency we're working on here, or have you forgotten yet again?" Snape was livid.

Harry wasn't about to be cowed by his rage now, he wanted answers and so help him, he was going to get them! "That was my mother! You were there!" Harry breathed in rising fury.

Sensing the danger in the situation, Remus moved closer to Harry and laid a hand on his shoulder, "Calm down Harry."

"I won't calm down!" Harry screamed, yanking his body away from Moony's restraining hand. He rounded on Snape and advanced across the floor with the ferocity of a wounded lion, "You. Were. There." Harry had always had a distinct abhorrence for the Potions Master, but at this moment, he literally wanted to flay him alive.

"Yes Potter, I was there," Snape ground out, his black eyes flashing daggers, "I was a Death Eater, remember?"

"You never said you were there!" Harry nearly howled.

"It's not exactly a topic for dinner conversation! Headmaster, as extraordinary as it seems, he appears to have learned something. I did get in briefly at the beginning, but he managed, if somewhat clumsily, to get me out."

Harry was shaking in fury as he stared incredulously at the man, was he really going to pretend like Harry didn't see what he just saw?

Dumbledore was focused on what Snape was saying, "How far did you get?"

"A brief flash of the hound getting blasted through the Veil, then I was out," Snape sounded almost bored.

His cold words seemed to startle Remus out of the daze he had been in. "Don't let me ever hear you refer to Sirius like that again," he said warningly. His face was a mask but Harry could hear the understated fury.

Snape turned to Remus with loathing clearly evident on his face, "As what, a hound or an idiot to take a stunner in front of the Veil? My only regret is that I couldn't have been there to see it happen and enjoy the moment first hand!"

Harry flinched back as if struck, the shock of Snape's cruel words on top of everything else beginning to weigh on him as he sunk down on to the couch. It was Moony who lost control. With a snarl, he pulled his fist back and slammed it into the Potions Master's nose. Snape was flung back onto Dumbledore's desk, his eyes burning with hatred.

"Severus, Remus, that is enough!" Dumbledore hissed, holding his arms out between the two. That feeling of raw power Harry had witnessed before emanated off the Headmaster, "We are all on the same side here! If we cannot control ourselves and work together, what hope do we have to offer anyone?"

"Dumbledore, I will give my life to you and this cause, but I will not tolerate anymore from _him_," Moony spat the last word with disgust. "He isn't worthy of even speaking Sirius' name and I will do exactly the same thing again if he attempts it. This session is over!" With that, Remus grabbed his cloak and stormed from the office without a word to Harry. No one moved to stop him.

Harry's anger had deflated into a numb sort of horror. He sat stiffly on the couch staring at the other two in the room. Snape had taken a handkerchief and was blotting the blood from his nose, staring just a bit apprehensively at the Headmaster. Dumbledore had a stern set to his jaw and was glaring with displeasure at Snape. Harry could almost hear the words, _stay put, we are going to discuss this_, radiating off him.

He didn't know how Dobby got there, but the little elf with the large, tennis ball-like eyes was bouncing in front of him fretfully. "Is Harry Potter all right, sir? Does Harry Potter need for Dobby to be taking care of him?"

"Dobby," Dumbledore interrupted before the elf could get carried away in his exuberance, "Please take Harry back to Gryffindor Tower. Make sure he arrives there safely."

"Yes sir," the little figure bounced on the soles of his feet, delighted to be assisting Harry.

"Harry, get some sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Harry nodded numbly and allowed Dobby to lead him from the room.

A/N: First, to Brightest Star, I thank you so much for all the reviews, the only reason I haven't responded in person is because your page didn't give an email address! Thank you so much for your kind words!

To all of you who take the time to review, I really appreciate and always try to respond through email. If you don't want to leave an email address, mine is on my contact page, feel free to drop me a line!

I had two separate reviewers this past chapter who said they were enjoying the story despite the fact they weren't H/G fans. My first inclination was to hiss and stick my fingers in my ears! After thinking about it, I realized that's just about the biggest compliment you could have given me, so thank you!!! (I'm going to continue doing my best to show you the error of your ways and bring you over to the "right" ship, however! ;) )


	20. First Date?

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Twenty

First Date?

Harry awoke from a rough night's sleep the following morning just before dawn. It took his foggy mind a moment to recall the events of the previous night. He wrapped a blanket from his bed around his shoulders and sat on the window seat watching the sunrise. He'd spent more than a few mornings here in this same position since he'd first come to Hogwarts. 

As his mind drifted over the events that occurred up in Dumbledore's office, he shuddered and sighed wearily. Those were Snape's memories of the night his parent's were murdered that he had seen. He had somehow forced Snape out of his own head and then broken into Snape's mind. Thinking about it, he realized it must have been Snape whom he had followed into the burning house. He vaguely recollected following someone up the stairs. He couldn't get the image of his mother's face to leave his mind, no matter how much he tried to force it away. He didn't know why it was bothering him so now, it's not like he hadn't seen the image before when the Dementor's came to near. This was different somehow and he shuddered again trying to shake it.

He wondered if Snape had been the one to take him from the house all those years ago? He must have done. He didn't see anyone else there and he couldn't imagine even Snape leaving a baby alone in a burning building. Wouldn't that have cancelled the life debt though? It was an unsettling feeling to know that crying baby was him. It left Harry feeling nettled and unstrung. His head was already aching, why did it have to be one thing after another? Just when something went right, something else had to fall apart. _For neither can live while the other survives_

Snape couldn't have been with Voldemort when Voldemort arrived that night; the memory was clearly of Snape entering the house after the destruction. But why was he there at all? He must have been nearby when it was happening. Harry was determined to get some answers.

He needed to talk to Professor Dumbledore, but would the old man give him some honest answers? Somehow Harry doubted it. Moony might know more too, but he was dealing with his own issues right now. Harry couldn't believe he had hit Snape! He'd never seen Moony like that before, not even right after Sirius had died. Harry remembered the look on Moony's face and was troubled by it. He hoped he was okay. He also wondered what was said between Dumbledore and Snape after Harry left?

Dobby brought Harry back to Gryffindor Tower and right up to bed, keeping the others from questioning him. Harry had been happy about that at the time, he really didn't want to talk to anyone until he got some things straight in his head. Ron, Hermione and Ginny had all been waiting for him and he knew they'd be looking for some explanations today. He decided then and there he wasn't going to keep this from them too, there were too many secrets already. Maybe they could help? Maybe they'd have some ideas on things that Harry was missing. Showing them his photo album at Halloween and definitely helped and this was just more than he could handle on his own. He decided he would talk to them, but later, first he needed some air.

Dressing quickly and grabbing his Firebolt, Harry headed down to the Quidditch pitch. His mind always worked better in the air.

Ginny woke up early on Saturday and headed down to the Common Room. She was still riding on a high from the previous night; she was going to the Ball with Harry! And _he_ asked _her_! He Asked Her. He did it! 

She'd waited for him to finish his Occlumency lesson, but when he returned with Dobby, it was blatantly obvious something was wrong. Harry was ashen and physically leaning on Dobby for support. Hermione had tried to question the House Elf on what was wrong, only to be shushed away. Dobby didn't tell them anything except that Professor Snape was a bad man and Professor Dumbledore said to put Harry to bed. Dobby would not be deterred from that task. He'd left them with strict orders not to wake Harry up.

She'd stayed in the Common Room for a while with Ron and Hermione. Ron was convinced Snape must have hexed Harry. Hermione, always the more rational one, kept reminding him how drained Harry had been the previous year after his sessions with Snape. Ron insisted that was because Snape was weakening him for Voldemort. Ginny had rolled her eyes and headed up to bed, she'd heard all these arguments before. She did get to tell them that Harry had asked her to go to the Ball and they both seemed pleased. It would be fun to all be there together.

Glancing out the window, she saw a familiar blur zooming above the Quidditch pitch. He was flying hard and she could tell he was upset. Ginny ran upstairs to change and headed outside to see what was going on with her favorite Seeker.

She watched him loop and dive as she made her way toward the pitch; he really was a remarkable specimen! She couldn't help herself being infatuated with him; there was something about him that made every eye in a room look his way. He was one of those people who commanded attention without even speaking. His attempts to divert it from himself were endearing, but they never worked. It was because of this presence that Harry carried. When he was around, people _noticed_! Ginny had always noticed.

Harry saw her standing on the edge of the pitch and swooped down beside her. "Hi," he breathed, giving her one of those lopsided grins she found so engaging.

"Hi yourself! You're out here early."

"Yeah, had a lot on my mind."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Yeah," he sighed. Although he answered affirmatively, Ginny had the distinct impression he didn't really want to. "It's a long story. Do you mind if I tell you when Ron and Hermione are around too?"

He only wanted to go through it once; she could respect that, "Sure."

"Want to go flying?"

"Okay. I have to go back and get my broom though."

Harry slid up on his Firebolt and glanced backwards, "I've got room," he said shyly, his cheeks tingeing pink.

Ginny's heart soared; the idea of riding on the broom with Harry thrilled her. She swung her leg over the broom and for an instant was unsure what to do with her hands. She went to grab his shoulders but thought he'd have difficulty flying so instead wrapped her arms around his waist. She could feel the muscles in his abdomen constrict at her touch and was instantly aware of every part of her body touching his. She leaned into his back and thrilled at the sensations washing over her.

"I'm ready," she said, her voice coming out in a crack.

Harry lifted off the ground and Ginny wasn't sure if the exhilaration she felt was from the flight or the closeness to Harry. She tried to keep still but couldn't help herself running her hand up his chest as he picked up speed. She could tell that Harry was as aware of her presence as she was of his and that thought pleased her.

Ginny couldn't help it and let out a scream of delight as he dove at breakneck speed toward the ground. She could feel Harry's chest rippling as he chuckled over her screams. The more she'd yell, the more daring he became and soon the two of them were laughing hysterically.

Ginny wasn't even aware of how cold the wind was as they looped and dove out over Hagrid's hut and the Forbidden Forest. The heat radiating from their bodies was enough to warm the whole castle, she reckoned. It was thrilling, exhilarating and breathtaking all at once to be up here with him and Ginny was enjoying every minute. From a sideways glance at the grin on Harry's face, she could tell he was enjoying it too.

After a while, both decided they were hungry and should head back to the castle. Ron and Hermione would be up by now and they could join them for breakfast. Harry took Ginny's hand as they walked back up the stairs and she grinned in delight. There were times a few years ago that she never believed this would be possible.

"All right Harry?" she asked, feeling sure he was now.

Harry gave her another lopsided smile. "You always make me feel better."

Ginny's heart just about burst out of her chest then and there.

As the week passed by, however, Harry's frustration grew. Despite it's brilliant start after the broom ride with Ginny, his week seemed to be going from bad to worse. He'd told Ron, Hermione and Ginny about what had happened during Occlumency, most of it anyway. The specific image of his mother was just too hard to share so he kept that part vague. His friends were just as shocked as he was by the events, although Ron had trouble hiding his glee at the thought of Moony decking Snape. Dumbledore had inquired to Harry's well being, but as yet hadn't set aside a time to talk about what Harry had seen. He had the distinct impression the Headmaster was avoiding him.

Potions class had been awkward, if not downright hostile. Harry had the feeling Snape wanted to say something to him but was holding himself back. He seemed almost reticent to even approach Harry and for the first time ever, he went through a Potions class without being insulted. Harry was seething inside and continued to glare until Hermione tugged on his robes and forced his attention back to what they were doing.

Moony hadn't returned to the castle all week. It was a full moon, so that could explain it, but Harry knew there was more to it. He met with Tonks each lesson but she refused to comment or give anything away as to what Moony was thinking. She seemed to feel badly about her evasiveness and tried to repeatedly reassure Harry that everything was okay. He wasn't buying any of it.

Even Ginny was acting strangely. After their flight on the Firebolt, Harry was feeling confident and good about the way things were going. The next day however, Ginny seemed to retreat into herself and refused to meet his eyes. Whenever he entered the Common Room she'd disappear and for the life of him he couldn't figure out what he'd done or why she was avoiding him.

To top off his week, Professor McGonagall gave them a test that Harry had completely forgotten to study for. He'd been so wrapped up in the D.A. and everything that was going on with Snape; it had completely slipped his mind.

McGonagall was going to kill him! After she'd gone to bat for him too, he didn't want to let her down. As they were taking the test, he tried to focus and force the information from his mind. His mind and his quill hand didn't seem to be working well together at all it seemed! He could see Hermione sitting in front of him, hunched over her paper and writing furiously. Concentrating on her, he wished he could force the information from her mind onto his own paper.

He began to write what he thought was the answer and suddenly the words just seemed to come to him. His hand was having trouble keeping up with the words he was trying to jot down. The answer to question after question seemed to materialize in his head. He wasn't aware he'd stored so much but was grateful for it.

By the time the test was finished, Harry not only thought he'd passed, he was quite sure he had done well. He was aware of that electric surge feeling flowing through him that had happened during Occlumency several times. He still didn't know what it meant but thought it was time to mention it to Dumbledore and would do so at their next session.

The last time he'd felt one of these surges, he'd exceeded in his classes. This time, it happened with the test and he suddenly got the answers he was looking for. These events had to be connected, but what did it mean? Why was it happening now and how was it connected to Occlumency? Harry decided he would test it the next time he felt a surge coming on.

After preparing for the next D.A. meeting, he entered the Common Room and found Ron sitting with Ginny. He went over to join them but Ginny got up quickly.

"Hi Harry, sorry, but I've got to run. I told Julia I'd study with her for a Charms test. I'll see you later," Ginny gushed and before Harry could say a word, she was gone.

"Ron," Harry began tentatively, "did Ginny say anything to you?"

"About what?" Ron asked, although he avoided looking Harry in the eyes.

"Did I do something wrong?"

Ron shifted uncomfortably and tried to change the subject, "How about a game of chess?"

"What's going on Ron? Why is Ginny avoiding me?"

Ron sighed deeply. "It's the Ball," he said.

Harry's heart sunk, "It's all right if she's changed her mind, I won't be angry. You can tell her I'm not angry." He felt miserable and wanted nothing more than to escape from that room, crawl into bed and pull the covers over his head.

Ron looked at Harry in confusion, "What?" Then his eyes seemed to widen in recognition, "Oh no Harry! It's not that. She does want to go, that's the problem. SeeGinny tried on her Dress robesYou know, from beforeThey don't really fit her anymore. She's kind of in a panic over what to do. Mum and Dad just bought her a new broomstick so she can't really ask for anything else. I told her to ask Fred and George, they bought new ones for me last year."

Ron's ears were red as he said all this and Harry knew how sensitive he was about money. He imagined Ginny probably felt the same. He didn't think either Ron or Ginny would take it well if he told them about Sirius' will.

"Thanks Ron," he said, climbing the stairs. As he climbed, he thought about his own Dress robes. He'd grown quite a bit since fourth year himself; he'd better try them on and see if they were still going to fit.

Harry was waiting for Ginny in the Common Room before dinner. He'd planted himself on a chair in front of the girl's stairway and didn't plan on moving until she came down. He told Ron and Hermione to go on down to dinner without him, he'd catch them up later. Both left with annoying smirks on their faces, figuring out what he was up to.

Ginny's eyes widened in surprise as she came down the stairs with one of her roommates, Julia.

"Ginny, can I talk to you a minute?" Harry asked before she could speak.

He knew Ginny was about to make up an excuse when Julia said, "I'll see you at dinner Ginny," and left without her.

"What's up Harry?" she asked, still avoiding his eyes.

"I need some help," Harry stated.

Ginny's eyes went wide and she immediately looked right at him, all traces of her embarrassment evaporating at the thought he might be in trouble. "What's wrong?"

"Well, Ron told me about your Dress robes so I went to try mine on. They don't fit either, not even close." Ginny had colored as Harry started speaking so he continued on in a rush, "I've got a proposition for you?"

Ginny couldn't help but be intrigued, "Which is?"

"This weekend is a Hogsmeade weekend, come with me to Madame Verdes and help me pick something out. Your mum did it for me last time. If you'll help me, I'll buy both sets of robes. Please?"

"What do you need me for?"

"Just help me pick something that looks okay. I don't know what I'm supposed to be looking for. You're a girl, you must know!"

Ginny looked at him incredulously, "You think because I'm a girl I automatically know how to shop for Dress robes?"

Harry was confused; somehow he knew he was getting himself in trouble but wasn't sure why. Aunt Petunia loved to shop; she was nearly catatonic every time one of those ladies catalogs came in the mail. Parvati and Lavender had been talking about nothing else but what to wear to the Ball.

Ginny seemed to take pity on his confusion; "It's okay Harry. Actually, I do kind of like to look at the Dress robes. I'll help you find something and let you pay for mine, but it's only a loan. I intend on paying you back when I can. We can't have you buying Dress robes for my entire family, you already bought Ron his!" 

He looked at her in surprise and his mouth hung open, how did she know that? He didn't think the twins would have told her.

"It wasn't that hard to figure out," she answered for him. "It's not like the twins are the most sensitive blokes on the lot, or that they'd ever take pity for Ron's plight on their own. They'd more enjoy teasing him. You didn't want to keep the money from the Tri-Wizard tournament. Fred and George needed an investor. Ron needed Dress robes. Suddenly everyone is happy, no big mystery really."

Harry was impressed, "Does Ron know?"

"No," Ginny scoffed, "Ron doesn't really want to know where the money came from. He's just happy he doesn't have to wear the maroon lacy ones again. So, do we have a deal?

Harry shrugged, if that's how she wanted it; it was fine with him. As the two turned to head down to dinner, it occurred to Harry that he just asked her to go to Hogsmeade with him. Did that mean it was a date? Did he somehow just manage to get a date without actually intending it that way? Did she think it was a date? Did she want it to be?

He groaned inwardly, why did everything about this have to be so confusing? For about the thousandth time since that night at the Department of Mysteries, he found himself missing Sirius and wishing he were able to ask for his advice. He thought back to that day they had ridden his Firebolt. It had been a great day and he had a really good time. He loved the feel of her pressing up against his back as they flew. He'd like to get her on his broom again if he could. His face colored a bright red as he realized the double entendre of his thoughts. 

He was infinitely glad Ron wasn't with them just in case his Divination skills _had_ picked up and he'd somehow manage to read _that_ thought! He didn't think Ron would find he and Ginny stumbling around each other quite so funny anymore!

Despite his nervousness, Harry found himself looking forward to the Hogsmeade weekend more and more. Ron and Hermione were going in and he'd promised they'd all meet up with Neville and Luna for a Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks.

Midway through the week, Harry had an Occlumency lesson with Professor Dumbledore. The old wizard greeted him as he came up the moving staircase.

"How are you Harry?"

"Fine, sir," Harry answered stiffly.

"You're angry with me."

"You've been avoiding me."

"That's true, but I do have my reasons."

"You always have your reasons, sir, you just don't always like to share them."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at this statement and Harry felt he was quite delighted by it. "You saw something in Professor's Snape's mind that you have questions about. I'm afraid Harry, that they are questions that need to be answered by Professor Snape, not I."

"He'll never answer me, he'll just sneer and insult me, you heard him!"

"I did and I've spoken to him about his inappropriate comments. The vision, however, is a memory of his and I will not divulge anything he's not comfortable with. I would do the same for you Harry and I'm afraid that whether or not you like it, you'll have to respect that."

Harry didn't like it, but he could see Professor Dumbledore wasn't about to change his mind. He'd never get an answer from Snape so he was no better off than when he'd started. He'd have to go to Lupin

"What interests me Harry," Dumbledore was saying, "Is that you managed to get into Professor Snape's thoughts without ever having been taught Legilimency. Has this happened before?"

"One time last year."

"How about outside Occlumency lessons?"

"Outside? How do you mean?"

"Have you found yourself seeing anything that's not your own memory? Any thoughts that aren't your own?"

Harry's mind flashed on his power surges and Dumbledore must have noticed the flicker of recognition in his eyes, "What is it Harry?"

"Well, I don't know really. JustI've had these feelings lately, like a tingling. I've been calling them surges for lack of a better word. After I have them, I just seem to know stuff."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, like answers to questions, or how to do something I didn't know how to do before. I transformed something in class before Professor McGonagall had finished giving the instructions on how to do it."

Dumbledore had his fingers in front of his mouth and was nodding, "I see."

"See what? What does it mean?"

"I'm not sure yet, but I'd like you to pay particular attention when it happens again. I'd also like you to come to me if you experience anything else, thoughts or emotions that aren't your own?"

"Not my own? What are you getting at?"

"Harry, I don't want to put any suggestions in your mind, I would just like to be informed if you notice anything?"

Harry sighed; sometimes he felt that trying to talk to Professor Dumbledore was like banging his head repeatedly into a wall. They continued on with their lesson but Dumbledore didn't say anything more about the surges.

The day of the Hogsmeade trip dawned crisp and cool. There was a definite feeling of snow in the air and the students were excited to get into the village and do some Christmas shopping. Harry and Ginny walked with Ron and Hermione into the village before splitting up to go their own separate ways. Harry still wasn't sure if this really counted as a date or not but decided to make the most of it no matter what it was. They headed directly to Madame Verdes to find their Dress robes.

Harry thought they would enter the shop, pull a few things off the rack, Ginny would tell him what was good and they would be done with it. Reality was another matter entirely.

As they entered, a stiff looking witch took their cloaks and immediately began measurements of the two of them. Ginny chatted happily with the witch helping her, but Harry felt awkward standing there while the witch helping him flicked her measuring tape all over his body. He found it rather embarrassing.

When Ginny told them they were looking for Dress robes, the clerks began bringing robe after robe into the fitting room. They held a variety of colors and styles up to Harry's chest, any one of which would have been fine with him. Ginny was more selective however and kept shaking her head negatively.

Harry was beginning to lose his patience, he'd been standing on this ridiculous stool for an awfully long time and the witches didn't seem at all inclined to slow down. Every few minutes they'd send him inside a curtain area to try one on, but nothing was what they wanted. Finally, he suggested that since his last robes were green perhaps that is the color they should be looking for. Ginny frowned at him as if he were dense, "Honestly Harry, if your last robes were green, than you have to have any color BUT green!"

Harry kept his mouth shut after that.

Finally, when Harry was about to throw his arms up in the air and declare he'd wear his ordinary school robes, he walked out of the changing area and all talking stopped. The two fitters were eyeing him up and down approvingly. When he glanced at Ginny, her mouth was open and she had a look on her face that made him feel like the roast at a Christmas dinner.

The Dress robes were made of a gray shimmering material with a black collar and cuffs. He liked the way they felt and the fit was comfortable.

"H-Harry," Ginny stammered, "You look amazing!"

Harry suddenly liked these robes very much.

"Just look at the way the color makes his eyes stand out, they just jump right off his face," one of the witches said as if she had personally designed the robes herself.

"He'll take them," Ginny answered, than looked at him nervously, "Won't you?"

"Yes!" Harry exclaimed, not only did Ginny like them, but also it meant he was done!

"All right then Mr. Potter, I'll make the necessary adjustments and have these sent up to the castle. You can wait for Miss Weasley in the sitting area."

If Harry thought it had taken a long time to find his own robes, it was nothing compared to how long it took Ginny. He was just about to fall asleep when she came out beaming at him.

"I found what I wanted! They're beautiful, thank you Harry."

He smiled and paid the bill, "No problem. We're going to be late meeting Ron and Hermione so we better hurry up."

As they began walking up the street, the sky finally opened up and a light snow began to fall.

"Oh, the first snowflakes of the season! They're suppose to be magical you know," Ginny squealed in delight.

Harry had to laugh at her, "How exactly are snowflakes magical?"

"Look at all the smiles on everyone's face as they notice them. That's magic."

Harry wasn't sure if he was supposed to argue with that kind of logic? He really didn't want to argue anyway, and he did like the snow. Instead, he shyly took her hand in his as they walked. He'd never held anyone's hand before she came along and found he rather enjoyed it. There was something about the way her smaller hand fit so nicely in his larger one that made him feel protective and strong. It was a nice feeling.

Ginny glanced down at their intertwined fingers than up at his face, a small smile was twisting her lips. Harry knew his face was coloring and he cursed his fair complexion for giving him away so easily.

"I've had fun today," she said shyly.

"Fun? Fun? We've spent the whole time in Madame Verdes, we haven't gotten to the fun part yet!"

"Oh really? And what would you call the fun part? I had a good time at Madame Verdes, by the way."

Harry stopped walking and turned to look at her, "You've got to be kidding me?"

"I'm not! I've never really gone on a shopping spree to buy something just for fun, which wasn't really a necessity. I enjoyed myself."

Harry wasn't really listening to her words; he had suddenly realized how close they were standing. She was a small girl and she had to crane her neck up to look at him as she spoke. She had snowflakes stuck on her eyelashes. His eyes were magnetically drawn to her soft lips and he found himself moving closer and closer as she spoke. Idly he though it was getting very cold. He wasn't really thinking about what he was doing, he just felt drawn to her. She realized what he was about to do and her lips parted— 

Suddenly a scream ripped through the stillness of the moment and Harry pulled away.

More screams were added to the first as an explosion sounded from somewhere down the road. Harry could see flames rising up into the darkening sky. The temperature seemed to drop twenty degrees, as Harry became aware of a distant screaming inside his head. He knew that voice, those words she was yelling. It was a voice from his nightmares. He'd also heard it when

Dementors! The tall, ghastly creatures were emerging from between buildings in droves. The villagers were fully panicking now and running haphazardly, desperately trying to flee from the deadly creatures. Harry watched in horror as a tall robed figure pulled back its hood and lowered its mouth to a struggling witch.

"_Expecto Patronum_," Harry bellowed, forcing himself from his shock induced stupor. He could feel Ginny trembling beside him and he wrapped his arm protectively around her. He vaguely recalled she had problems with the Dementors too. Prongs shot out from Harry's wand and galloped down the street, forcing Dementors out of his path. It was too late for the first witch however and her body slumped to the ground. Harry felt sick.

"Harry, I still can't make a Patronus! I just get mist!" 

Ginny sounded frantic. Smoke was filling the street from whatever was burning up ahead. Harry's mind was working furiously, "Use the mist anyway if they get near you, it'll buy you some time! Go inside there," he pointed to Honeydukes," use the floo to contact Dumbledore and get some Aurors here quickly!"

"What about you?"

"I can cast a Patronus, I'm going to try and do what I can!"

Ginny nodded and quickly ran inside Honeydukes. Prongs was still charging down Dementors but there were just too many of them! Harry moved into the middle of the street to get a better look. He could see Hermione's otter Patronus further up ahead and was relieved to know that at least she was all right.

Harry wondered if it were possible to create more than one Patronus at a time? Seeing a group of three Dementors bearing down on a family while Prongs was still working across the street, he decided to try, "_Expecto Patronum_!"

Another Prongs burst from his wand and charged towards the family. Harry's legs suddenly felt very weak and he needed to support himself against the wall_. Casting more than one must take a lot out of you._ Another explosion rocked the street and Harry was thrown to the ground, his wand rolling from him as he fell.

Looking up, he noticed flames coming from the window of Honeydukes. _Ginny_! He blindly reached for either his wand or his glasses, which he'd lost during the fall. He could make out the outline of red hair exiting the door but the Dementors were moving in towards her. His hand found his glasses as a terror gripped his heart, "_Accio Ginny_," he yelled in fear, then watched as she went sailing across the street and landed right in his arms.

"Harry! How did you do that?"

"I can't find my wand!" he yelled in a panic. Both of his Patronuses were now fading.

"Here it is," Ginny said, handing it back to him.

"_Expecto Patronum_. _Expecto Patronum_," he hollered once again sending Prongs off in each direction. 

Ginny's mouth was gaping, "Two?" She forcibly shook her head; there would be time for that later. "Dumbledore already knows, the Order is on the way!"

"They're going to be too late!" Harry yelled, trying to direct Prongs towards a group of shoppers huddled in an alleyway. He left Ginny standing on the sidewalk as he tried to force his Patronus towards those who needed help. Unfortunately, there were just too many in need of help and the number of soulless victims lying in the street was beginning to add up.

He could see Cho Chang pointing her wand and trying to summon her Patronus but she wasn't having any luck. _The effects of the Dementors must be getting to her._ Harry could hear his mother's voice loudly now and he strained not to pay attention. He watched frozen in horror as a father tried to shield his children from an approaching Dementor; there was nothing the man could do.

"_Expecto Patronum_," Harry yelled again. This time, only a faint mist issued from his wand and Harry dropped to his knees in exhaustion. He watched as the Dementors overtook the family that he'd been trying to help. "Nooo," he moaned, trying to rise up off the ground.

"Harry!"

He heard Ginny's panicked voice and turned to see two Dementors closing in on him. He hadn't even heard them approach. He weakly raised his wand and tried again, "_Expecto Patronum_," but this time, nothing happened.

The Dementors moved in and one reached out a bony hand, touching his shoulder. Harry's head filled with his mother's screams, his father's warning, Sirius' shocked face before he fell through the veil. He was aware of the Dementor lowering its hood before it was struck down from behind.

Confused, he tried to focus his whirling thoughts on the silvery image in front of him. He lay there looking at what appeared to be his mirror image in silver brandishing Godric Gryffindor's sword. He blinked in confusion as his Patronus self bore down on the advancing Dementors. Aurors were arriving on the scene and he recognized some members of the Order of the Phoenix. He could see Ginny running towards him, her wand out and as he slipped into unconsciousness, he realized Ginny had successfully conjured her Patronus.

********

Harry slowly opened his eyes and looked around the fuzzy room. Starch white walls, crisp white sheets. Hospital Wing, _again_. He felt miserable and he tried to force his mind to remember what happened. All the beds in the infirmary seemed to be filled Hogsmeade! The Dementors! Where was Ginny?

He turned his head and could fuzzily see her sitting on the bed next to his munching on some chocolate. _Damn it! Why couldn't he even have a normal date?_

Ginny noticed the movement and smiled at him, "Hi Sleepyhead. How are you feeling?"

In truth, Harry felt awful, too weak to even lift his head. The Dementors still had a powerful effect on him. "Fine," he answered.

Ginny smirked at him, "Right. I'm sure you're feeling just peachy."

Harry couldn't help the reluctant grin that spread over his face, "Yeah, well, I guess I've been better." A thought occurred to him, "I think I owe you one."

Ginny blushed crimson, "Maybe now we can call it even."

"Thank you. You cast a Patronus."

Harry didn't think it was possible but Ginny seemed to blush an even deeper shade of red, "Oh I sure did. You saw it too then?"

__

He was Ginny's Patronus, that fact hadn't quite registered yet. He smiled and felt his own cheeks grow warm. He didn't know for sure what it meant, but he liked it. It meant that somehow, he could always be with her to protect her, and that was important to him.

"I guess some part of the Chamber will always be with me," Ginny said quietly and he looked up at her in alarm. He didn't want to be the cause of bad memories for her.

She noticed his distress and quickly reassured him, "It's okay! It's kind of like the one good thing from that whole experience won out in the end." Ginny turned even more red when she realized what she said but he was pleased. 

"Congratulations on the Patronus Ginny. I think I like the form it takes."

She smiled at him and said quietly, "I like the form it takes too."

Harry felt the seriousness of the day wash back over him, "How bad was it?" Visions of the family he had tried to save swam in his mind, if only he could have just cast one more Patronus

"Pretty bad, I don't know for sure. It was so awful. Ron and Hermione were here but Madam Pomfrey made anyone who didn't need a bed leave. It was just too crowded. Dumbledore was here to check on you, she made him leave too."

Harry smiled weakly; he would have liked to see Madam Pomfrey chasing Dumbledore from the Hospital Wing. Ginny was watching him closely, "Harry, none of it was your fault. In fact, there would be many more casualties than there were if it weren't for you! Even the other students who could cast a Patronus can do it because of you."

__

How did she do that? How did she know what he was thinking?

"Dumbledore was very interested in your wandless magic. I think he wants to talk more about that with you. Not to mention your second Patronus."

"Wandless.What wandless magic?"

"Umm_Accio Ginny_ ring any bells?"

Harry looked at her in confusion, then remembered conjuring her from across the street when he couldn't find his wand. _He'd done it again!_ Maybe there was something to it

"What about a second Patronus? Why does he want to talk to me about that?"

"Gee Harry, I dunno. Maybe it's because that supposedly can't be done!"

Harry sat in stunned silence. _That was just great, another reason to be different._ He was interrupted by Madam Pomfrey, "Well, I see you're awake Mr. Potter. Tell me, is there a bed here in the Infirmary you prefer? You've used them all. Perhaps we should set one aside and have your name emblazoned on it to keep it in reserve?"

Harry remained silent and she waved her wand over him and tut tutted at her findings. She placed the biggest hunk of chocolate Harry had ever seen on the table beside his bed. "You're not to get out of that bed until that chocolate is gone. Completely."

Harry just gaped at her, "Gone? That whole thing? My teeth will fall out!"

Madam Pomfrey smiled primly, "I could fix that!"

A/N: The first round draft of this chapter was done at the beginning of March using what always felt right to me for Ginny's Patronus, the image of Harry with Godric Gryffindor's sword. A big thank you to Peskipipski for offering to share this image. Of course, on March 4, JKR came out with her webcast that said a Patronus had to be an animal form, so that scrapped that! After I had reworked it, I got a review from Josh Maxwell who reminded me that technically, a human is an animal. DUH! At first I wasn't going to change it back, but the more I thought about it, this just seems right to me. Hope you enjoy! Please R/R and let me know!


	21. This Changes Everything

**__**

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Twenty-one

This Changes Everything

__

You can't always get what you want

No you can't always get what you want

But if you try sometimes,

You just might find

You get what you need.

- Rolling Stones

Life in the castle returned to it's normal pace, although definitely more somber and subdued. Fortunately, none of the students had been kissed or even seriously injured during the attack on Hogsmeade, but it was the first time most of them had been actually touched by the war. The Dementors had left a total of twenty-four new soulless victims among the villagers and those out shopping that day. A number of others had been injured in the ensuing panic

The fire started at Zonkos when fleeing patrons knocked burning candles into some explosive tricks. It burned out of control taking down a row of shops along the street. All future Hogsmeade excursions for the students of Hogwarts had been cancelled indefinitely.

The Aurors and members of the Order arrived after Harry had passed out, restoring order to the village and driving off the remaining Dementors. Before their arrival, it had only been members of the D.A. who were able to do anything to slow the Dementor's progress, and they'd been fairly successful at doing so.

Dumbledore said the Ministry was talking about some kind of recognition ceremony to honor their bravery. Harry would wager Fudge would find some way around that rather than honor anything to do with Dumbledore's Army.

Although he had been released from the Hospital wing the same day, Madam Pomfrey had banned him from using magic for the remainder of that week. The summoning of two separate corporeal Patronuses left him suffering a case of magical exhaustion. Harry hated the useless feeling the lack of his powers gave him.

He'd cancelled the planned D.A. meeting, as he didn't see the point if he couldn't demonstrate anything to his students. He was feeling much better now, although still tired fairly quickly. He silently added the names of those lost to the Dementors to the growing number of Voldemort's victims. The familiar guilt over his inability to do anything to stop this arose along with an intense anger. _He had to be stopped!_

As December progressed, the castle was decorated for Christmas. Holly and ivy were strung above the archways, wreathes adorned the doors and Everlasting icicles hung from the banisters. Hagrid once again brought the most enormous Christmas trees Harry had ever seen into the Great Hall. Professor Flitwick charmed the Fairy lights so that each tree would alternately flash a different color.

Professor Dumbledore had informed him that he would be joining the Weasleys at Grimmauld Place for Christmas again this year. He still wanted Harry to add his name to the list of students who would be staying at the castle to throw off anyone who might be paying attention. Instead of taking the Hogwarts Express back with the others, Harry would be able to Apparate long distance for the first time. 

While he would enjoy being with the Weasleys, he was feeling rather sad and blue about Christmas this year. It would be the first one since Sirius died. 

Every time he thought about Grimmauld Place, he remembered last year and how joyous Sirius was at having everyone there. It was the only time he had ever seen him so completely happy. Whenever he heard the Christmas carol _God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen_, he would have to grit his teeth until it was over. He really wasn't in the mood to celebrate the holidays this year. He found himself wishing he could just fall into a deep sleep and wake up after it was all over.

Hermione was planning on going home and spending time with her parents. Harry could tell she had mixed feelings about this. Obviously she missed her family and wanted to see them, but she also wanted to be with the others at Grimmauld Place. Ron promised her he'd make sure the floo connection was open like over the summer so they would have a way to see each other.

Plans for the Ball were well under way and the rumors were flying over what the night would entail. Word was that the Weird Sisters were unavailable and a new band had been hired. Professor Snape was listed as one of the chaperones so Harry didn't think any of the rumors that were too out of hand could possibly be true.

Neville was, of course, taking Luna; Seamus was going with Lavender; and Parvati was going with Anthony Goldstein. Harry still wasn't sure whom Dean was going with, as Dean hadn't spoken to him since the day he found out Harry was going with Ginny. He'd stormed off with a look of _I told you so'_ in his eyes. Harry could almost hear the words, _I knew it!_ echoing around him. It made for awkward living arrangements.

The final week of classes went by painstakingly slow. Everyone's mind was either on the upcoming Ball or already at home for the holidays. Professor Flitwick allowed some leniency but Snape and McGonagall kept them strictly at it until the end. Snape even assigned them a painfully long and tedious essay due right upon their return. Professor Trent kept them working until the end, but didn't assign any homework. She didn't seem as jovial about this holiday as she did at Halloween. Harry wondered if Christmas brought up some painful memories for her as well?

Tonks made up for anyone's lack of holiday spirit in abundance. She dressed in robes of either red or green for the entire month with hair to match, she even had earrings that she'd charmed to stay lit up. The last day of classes she appeared in candy cane stripes with half of her hair red and the other half white. Harry couldn't help but laugh and wish he could tell the others about her get ups. She promised she'd be at Grimmauld Place for Christmas and that she'd wear the candy cane outfit again just for him.

She was most intrigued about his use of wandless magic in order to pull Ginny away from the Dementors. Though the _Accio_ charm was relatively simple, using it to move an entire person across the road in a dangerous situation was more than accidental magic should be able to accomplish. They set up their tasks to focus in on this and she had Harry trying to envision the fear and emotion he was feeling at that moment in Hogsmeade. Remembering the panic he felt and invoking that feeling as he tried his spell, he was beginning to have some luck with the wandless magic. Although he hadn't completely accomplished a full spell, he was suddenly able to make things twitch and move and Tonks felt it was definite progress.

She was also astounded to learn Harry had produced two corporeal Patronuses. As far as she could find in her research, it had never been done before. When he told her he didn't know that and had tried for a third but only got vapor, she muttered, "No wonder you passed out!"

Moony had still not returned to the castle. Tonks said he was on Order business but wouldn't give any further details. She promised he'd be at Grimmauld Place at Christmas and was looking forward to seeing Harry. She passed a message along that he had a special something for Harry to see while he was home. _Home_. That word struck an unfamiliar chord within Harry and he wasn't really sure how he felt about it. He didn't want Grimmauld Place to be home, but he _did_ want to be with the people there, so he supposed it didn't really matter where the place was.

He thought about the loneliness and despair he'd felt last summer and how he dreaded the idea of going to Grimmauld Place. It wasn't until he was there by necessity that things got better. Being with his friends and the Weasleys _had_ helped; it'd been just what he needed. Maybe it would be the same for Christmas.

The evening before their last class, Ron, Harry and Hermione were sitting at a table in the Common Room preparing their final assignments before the term ended. Hermione had finished but was looking over some of her work. Ron was obviously struggling with a Transfiguration essay. Harry was just finishing up the last of his Potions homework.

"Ron, do you need some help with that?" Hermione asked.

"I've just about got it," Ron replied.

"It's really no trouble, I'm finished up here."

"No need to bother yourself with this."

"Ron, how many times do I have to tell you it's no bother!"

"Really Hermione, do you think I can't do this for myself?"

Harry could see this rapidly descending into yet another argument. The good thing about them dating was that the arguments were fewer and fewer, they didn't seem to need to set each other off to pay attention to each other these days. He turned back to his Potions and heard Hermione say, "Why won't he just ask me for help when he obviously needs some?"

At the same time he heard Ron say, "Why won't she just offer to help me without making a fuss about it?"

Assuming they were both talking to him, Harry turned to Hermione in exasperation and said, "Because his pride won't let him!"

Then he turned to Ron in the same tone and said, "She is trying to help you, it would be so much easier if you'd just say, Yes Hermione, I could use your help!'"

Both Ron and Hermione were staring at him with their mouths open, clearly confused. "What?" they both asked.

Harry sighed with frustration, "You both just asked me what's going on with the other, well those are your answers!"

"Harry, neither of us said anything to you. You did answer the question I was thinking about though. But it was a question I never asked."

Ron was looking alarmed. "I never said anything out loud."

Harry laughed nervously, "I guess I just know you two so well by know, eh?"

Ron seemed to accept this and laughed along but Hermione was looking at Harry suspiciously.

"I was suppose to see Dumbledore about arranging some Occlumency while we're at Grimmauld Place. I'll be right back," Harry said quickly and bolted out the portrait hole before Hermione could begin questioning him.

__

What was that all about? _He was sure he heard their voices! Was this what Dumbledore had asked him to be aware of!_ If he concentrated on it, he could feel that surge going on, although it wasn't as strong as it seemed before. Maybe it was because he'd just gotten used to it? Harry swallowed as his mind drifted over the past several weeks. During that test in McGonagall's class he'd been trying to see what Hermione was thinkingHe'd known what Dean was feeling without him having to say itHe'd thought he could hear Dumbledore's words when the Headmaster was angry at Snape after that awful Occlumency session.

Arriving at the stone gargoyle, he muttered, "Peppermint twist," and headed up the moving stairs. Professor Dumbledore was sitting at his desk.

"Good evening Harry, what brings you by this night?"

"Not much, just reading Ron and Hermione's minds!"

"Excuse me?"

"We were in the Common Room and I could have sworn they both asked me questions so I just answered them. They were both shocked and said they'd never spoken out loud, but I did answer what they were thinking! Is this what you were talking about when you told me to tell you if I became aware of anything unusual?"

"Very interesting. Now that you're aware of it, can you think of any instances where it's happened before?"

Harry wracked his brains, "I think that maybe it has, but I'm not sure. I keep feeling like I know what people are thinking, but can almost hear the words. Does that make any sense to you?"

"Indeed it does. I think when you return from the Christmas break, we are going to enhance our work with Occlumency to include some Legilimency as well."

"Legilimency? You really think I'm reading people's minds?"

"Do you think so Harry?"

Harry shrugged his shoulders, his mind racing, "I wouldn't be surprised by much anymore sir."

Dumbledore nodded sadly. "We'll look into it after Christmas, for now keep me informed and try and test it. I'm not encouraging you to invade anyone's privacy just brief tests Harry. You could even let your friends know what you are doing. Be careful not to overload yourself, however. When a person first begins to utilize Legilimency, the input can be overwhelming. It will take some time and practice for you to learn how to adjust to it."

"I'll be careful sir."

"I know you will Harry. Come to me if anything changes. Are you ready for the Ball tomorrow night?"

Harry couldn't help the slow grin that appeared on his face, "Yes sir."

"Well then, I shall see you there!" Dumbledore responded, his eyes twinkling merrily.

Classes ended at noon on Friday to give all students time to relax and prepare before the Ball commenced. Younger students would be having smaller Yule celebration dinners inside their own Common Rooms.

Harry and his friends had spent the afternoon skating on the lake with Hagrid, who was quite a sight to behold on ice skates. The girls went in early to begin getting ready, while Harry, Ron and Neville dawdled a bit longer with Hagrid.

Finally they went in to take their own showers and put on their Dress robes. Ron entered the bathroom as Harry was desperately trying to make his hair lie at least partially flat. 

"Just give it up dear," the mirror muttered and Ron burst into laughter. Harry turned to glare and stopped short; Ron looked different! His new robes were navy blue with a lighter blue trim and they made him seem taller somehow, if that were possible. 

"You clean up well," Harry commented.

Ron was looking Harry up and down in the same way, "You too, mate."

The new gray Dress robes really were very stylish and they suited Harry well, showing off his athletic build. The black trim complemented his black hair and made the green of his eyes seems to shine with a bright inner light.

Neville, who was wearing robes that were a deep mahogany color, used his wand to cast a spell that created some kind of cologne. The scent was overbearing however and both Ron and Harry had to pull away as he walked passed them on his way to get Luna. Ron waved a hand in front of his face, "She'll smell him coming from two floors away."

Seamus left the boys room laughing about something and it was only when they saw Dean that they realized what it was. Dean was looking very dapper in his green dress robes, but Seamus had charmed the back of them with an image of a hag making very rude gestures. Dean unwittingly went to collect his date. Both Ron and Harry let out a laugh before nervously checking the backs of their own robes in the mirror.

"You watch my back I'll watch yours?" Ron offered.

"As always," Harry replied.

"Should we go see if the girls are ready?" Ron asked. Despite the fact he'd been dating Hermione for several months, he seemed nervous.

Harry took a deep breath as if he was going into battle, "Let's do it."

Neville and Dean had already left to pick up their dates so they waited with Seamus on the couch in the Common Room. Hermione was the first to emerge. She looked stunning in her robes of sea green with silver strands adorning her neck and wrists. Her hair was done up like the last time and was sleek and straight and startling different from it's usual bushiness. She seemed far older and more elegant than Harry ever remembered seeing her. Ron appeared incapable of speech so it was Harry who leaned over and quickly kissed her on the cheek. "You look really nice," he told her.

Hermione looked startled at this uncharacteristic display from Harry but smiled in pleasure, "As do you! Just wait until you see Ginny."

She turned to Ron who had finally recovered his voice. "You look beautiful Hermione."

Hermione blushed and turned around, "Do you think so? Parvati helped me with the make up but I think it's too much?"

"No," Ron shook his head. "You look perfect."

Hermione beamed in pleasure. Harry was so fascinated watching this display between his friends that he hadn't noticed Ginny making her way down the stairs. When he caught sight of her, however, it was his turn to lose the power of speech. His heart started hammering in his chest like it wanted to break free of it's encasing to get a better look at her.

She was wearing robes of cobalt blue with gold trim that seemed to catch every flicker of light. Her red tresses were done in a long plait and wrapped around her head while soft ringlets cascaded down around her face. Her eyes were softly shadowed with what looked like Muggle make up and she wore pink lipstick. She was breathtaking.

"Wow Ginny! What have you done with my little sister," Ron asked her.

She smiled shyly at him, seeming unsure of herself dressed like this. Harry just stood there continuing to stare.

"She looks good doesn't she Harry?" Ron repeated again, elbowing him in the ribs. Harry snapped out of his daze and began rubbing his side.

"You look beautiful Ginny," he said sincerely and she beamed at him.

"I knew those Dress robes were right for you," she said, pulling the gray material out to the side and inspecting it. "You're looking very handsome yourself."

He felt his cheeks turn pink and offered her his arm, "Shall we?"

The four made their way downstairs to the Great Hall where most of the students were milling about, the doors inside having not yet opened. Harry felt very proud to be walking down the stairs with Ginny on his arm. He noticed more than one head turn in their direction. He could make out Dean standing across the Hall with Susan Bones, from Hufflepuff. Dean was staring hard at Ginny and Harry pulled her arm tighter into his own. He'd had his chance with Ginny; it was Harry's turn now.

Neville entered the Hall with Luna. She was dressed in Robes splayed with tropical flowers and even what looked like a live parrot on top of her head. Harry had to grin, reminded of the birds Sirius sent when he was on the run during Harry's fourth year.

The biggest shock came when Padma Patil entered the Hall with Blaise Zabini from Slytherin. Harry had to admit they made a striking pair, but he'd never noticed the Slytherins associating with anyone outside of their own house before. Parvati, who was there with Anthony Goldstein from Padma's House, glared slightly at her sister upon her arrival.

He was so busy watching the facial expressions of the two sisters; he hadn't noticed Draco Malfoy slip up behind him with his usual date, Pansy Parkinson. Pansy was wearing robes of deep red with a shocking amount of cleavage. Malfoy was dressed in black velvet. "Couldn't get a date of your own so you had to borrow your mates' little sister Potter?" came the drawling sneer.

Both Harry and Ginny turned around and Harry was pleased to notice Malfoy visibly pale as he caught a good look at Ginny. Harry smirked and placed his arm around her shoulders, "I'm here with exactly who I want to be here with Malfoy. Looks like I'm here with whom you'd like to be here with too. Pity that." He took Ginny by the arm and led her deftly away.

Ginny was giggling in delight, "Thank you for that Harry. I really can't stand that arrogant git."

"I meant it," Harry said, again admiring how pretty she looked. "I do want to be here with you tonight Ginny."

Ginny beamed and was about to respond when Harry saw her mouth fall open. "Oh no," she said. "What are they doing here?"

Harry turned in time to see both Fred and George bounding towards them. He wondered if they were going to pounce on him for being there with their little sister.

"Hi Harry, Hi Gin," they chorused. 

"Look at our little Gin Gin and Harrikins, all grown up! It seems like just yesterday they were crawling around in nappies," Fred teased while George pretended to wipe tears from his eyes.

"Shut it you two," Ginny commanded. "Whatever are you doing here?"

"Chaperoning," George grinned.

"Actually," Fred chimed in, "Dumbledore hired us for some of tonight's special entertainment. Can't tell you anything about that though."

Ron and Hermione made their way over to them and Ron repeated Ginny's question, "What are you two doing here?"

Fred sighed dramatically and looked over at George. "They sure do make you feel loved, don't they? I'm almost thinking they aren't happy to see us?"

"But you know that couldn't be true," added George.

Before they could continue any further, the doors to the Great Hall opened wide and the students began filing inside. Ron made a beeline for an empty table set back from the dance floor. Harry and Ginny joined Ron and Hermione along with Neville and Luna. That still left spots for four more diners. Harry was stunned when Cho Chang and Michael Corner joined their table along with Anthony Goldstein and Parvati Patil. Cho was dressed in pink and she smiled prettily at Harry.

"Hello Harry"

Harry nodded at her but groaned inwardly, this could make for an uncomfortable evening. He glanced at Ginny and saw she was as unhappy with the situation as he was. Still, Luna was a Ravenclaw and these were her housemates, they'd have to make the best of it.

Dinner was sumptuous and though conversation was stilted at first, it picked up. They all enjoyed their meals while talking over the events in Hogsmeade.

When dinner was complete, the band appeared and began to play. They were introduced as a relatively new group who were making a sensational debut. As the music began, Harry was stunned to realize the lead singer was none other than Angelina Johnson! Fred was beaming at her as the dance floor began to fill.

The members of their table began to join those on the floor and Harry reached over to take Ginny's hand. "Do you want to dance?" he asked awkwardly, hoping Tonks had showed him the right steps and wasn't playing a joke on him. Ginny smiled in surprise and Harry ignored the shocked look on Ron's face as he led her to the dance floor. As they began to dance, he kept mentally reminding himself not to count out loud.

Michael and Cho walked by and Cho placed her hand on Harry's arm, "Save me a dance later, won't you Harry? I'm sure Ginny won't mind, will you?"

"Of course not Cho. Harry can dance with whomever he chooses," Ginny smiled, but Harry had the distinct impression that wasn't what she wanted to say. _What did Cho want to dance with him for anyway? She had her own date._

Later as he was getting some Butterbeer for he and Ginny, Ron came up behind him. "Having a good time Harry?"

Harry nodded, despite his original dismay he was enjoying himself. 

"I told you to just ask her. I knew she'd say yes." Ron was smug and Harry had to laugh at his I-told-you-so attitude. "I mean, no matter what she said, it was obvious she still likes you."

"Oh, if this isn't the blind leading the blind," Hermione's caustic voice sounded from behind them. Both boys spun around to face her.

"You don't think so then?" Harry couldn't help himself from asking.

Hermione smiled at him with the air of one dealing with a small child. "Of course she likes you Harry. Does she blush when you talk? Does she stutter around you? Does she seem happy when you're together? She feels the same way you do but she's been hurt too many times by your lack of noticing. This time it's your turn to risk a heartbreak; you have to make the next move."

Harry considered Hermione's words carefully_; did he want to make the next move with Ginny? Yes. Could he?_ Harry swallowed hard as he saw Ginny approaching. He took a deep breath and moved away from Ron and Hermione walking over to meet her. "It's really warm in here, d'you want to take a walk and get some fresh air?"

Ginny nodded her agreement and the two headed outside into the Rose Garden. It was lit up for the festivities and a warming charm had been placed along the parameter. It seemed odd to feel the Spring-like air but see the snow piled in mounds all around. Intricate ice sculptures were located in every row and the pair studied them as they walked. They stopped at the edge of the Rose Garden against the wall of the castle.

"End of the road," Ginny commented.

"Uh huh. I'm having a good time tonight."

"Me too." Ginny turned to face him and yet again he was startled by how close they were to each other. Remembering his cursed luck, he glanced around apprehensively for any sign of Dementors.

Ginny seemed to know where his thoughts were and smiling she whispered, "Relax Harry, there's no one here."

"I don't have the best track record," he muttered and Ginny just smiled. She kept moving closer and closer as Harry wrapped his arms around her waist_. What he wouldn't give for a sprig of mistletoe now! _His nerves began to get the best of him as he blurted, "I really botched this before and I want to do things right this time."

Ginny was less than a centimeter from his lips, as she breathed, "I'm not Cho." She pressed her lips against his and he felt an electric charge course through his body when contact was made. The kiss was rather clumsy and awkward at first and their teeth clanked together, but as Harry allowed himself to relax and just go with it, he began to feel like he was soaring on his Firebolt.

Both pulled back, startled, and each stood there blinking as if trying to determine what was real for a moment that seemed to last an eternity. Harry would never be sure which one of them moved first but in an instant they had grabbed on to each other and resumed the kiss with passion. Harry turned so he had her body pinned against the castle wall and she raised her arms to run her fingers through his hair. Through his closed eyelids, Harry could swear he saw fireworks.

It wasn't until they broke apart, as the need for air became overwhelming that he realized there _were_ fireworks in the air. It suddenly dawned on him what Fred and George's entertainment for the evening was all about.

Harry still held Ginny in his arms, her arms wrapped around his shoulders as they grinned at one another. "No sense letting such great Fireworks go to waste," he said as a bright Catherine wheel lit up the sky. He gazed down at Ginny, the bright glow of pinks and greens illuminated her face.

Ginny smiled back at him, the pink lipstick that she had reapplied before they came outside was smeared all over his mouth. She gently used her fingertips to remove the smudges. A reckless part of her wanted to leave them there as if she was marking her territory for all the world to see.

"No sense at all," she agreed leaning into him and melting against him as his lips claimed hers once again. As Ginny stood there kissing the boy she'd been in love with since she was ten years old, her mind was screaming in jubilation. _I'm kissing Harry Potter. I'm KISSING Harry Potter. Harry Potter is KISSING me! Merlin, it's about time!_

Ginny and Harry returned from their walk in the Rose Garden sometime later, hand in hand. They could see Ron and Hermione out on the dance floor and Harry was happy to see Hermione had finally coaxed him out there. As they walked on the dance floor and began to dance, Cho approached them. Michael was no where in sight.

"Harry, I've been looking everywhere for you! Care for that dance now?"

Ginny smiled at him secretly, "Go ahead, I've been promising Colin to dance, I'll meet you back here on the next one."

Harry found he didn't want to let her go, but did so reluctantly. Cho wound her arms around his neck and pressed her body very close. Harry was instantly uncomfortable and tried unsuccessfully to put a little distance between them.

"Are you having a good time?" Cho asked.

"I'm having a great time," Harry answered with authority.

Cho's smile faltered a bit. "Things are working out with Ginny then?"

Harry's smile broadened into a genuine grin, "You could say that."

Cho's lower lip pouted out slightly, "I wish I could say the same thing for Michael and I."

Harry felt the first twinge of pity, "Aren't you happy?"

"Not really." Harry was dismayed to see the familiar signs of her eyes filling with liquid. "He was awful in Hogsmeade. Kept yelling at me because I couldn't get my Patronus to form. Those Dementors are awful, I don't know how you stand it."

Harry's ire rose at hearing this, "I warned you all that it would be different under the effects of the Dementors. You did the best you could and that's all anyone can ask."

"You're so much more understanding Harry. I really messed things up with you last year, didn't I?"

The music ended and Ginny reappeared, slipping her arm around Harry's waist, "Okay Cho, my turn now."

Harry watched the intense glares going on between the two girls and found the idea of Ginny claiming him as her own thrilling. "Thank you for the dance Cho," he said politely before turning to wrap his arms around Ginny.

Cho must have expected something else for she huffed in indignation. "Fine, have him then! He's not even a good kisser."

She yelled this last sentence loud enough to garner the attention of those standing around them. Harry felt his cheeks flame and he desperately wanted to move away from the girl causing a scene.

Ginny calmly turned to Cho and said, "Oh, I disagree." With that, she snaked her arms around Harry's neck and pulled him into a passionate embrace. Harry, who tended to avoid any kind of public display, stiffened for a moment but Ginny wouldn't allow him to pull away. She deepened the kiss and he found himself lacking any further desire to pull away and returned the kiss with fervor. It was several minutes later that the two finally broke apart and realized they were standing in the middle of a circle of shocked onlookers, most of whom broke into applause and a series of catcalls led by none other than Fred and George.

Both Harry and Ginny's cheeks flamed but they smiled at each other giddily and resumed dancing.

Ron and Hermione remained frozen still on the dance floor, staring in shock and wonder at their two friends, who seemed oblivious to anyone else.

"Guess Harry decided to make that move," Hermione commented dryly. 

Ron found a number of people staring at him with trepidation, waiting for his response to Harry kissing his sister. He calmly turned back to Hermione and began to dance again.

"I don't get it," he whispered to her. "Why does everyone seem to think I would be angry? Harry and Ginny are two of my favorite people in the world, why wouldn't I want them to be happy?"

"I don't know Ron. People have a funny way of looking at things sometimes."

*******

Much later that night, in an old abandoned house lit only by a few candles, a woman in black robes knelt before her master. A white Death Eater mask covered her face but she showed no fear in front of the Dark Lord.

"What have you to report?" he hissed.

"My information is that Potter will be leaving Hogwarts for the holidays despite reports to the contrary, but I have no information on where he will be going."

"That doesn't help me."

"There is one more thing. He's become attached to a girl."

"A girl? Who is she?"

"Her name is Ginny Weasley."

A slow, hideous smile distorted the features of the snake-like man, "Ginny Weasley? How perfect! So Miss Weasley, we shall meet again"

Bellatrix Lestrange removed the mask covering her features, "I thought you'd be pleased."

A/N: Well, there you have it! I found it very odd writing Harry in scenes like the end of this chapter since I have nothing to really base his actions on. I felt voyeuristic writing it but I hope you enjoyed!

As for the Legilimency Harry is displaying, I think this actually happened in OotP. If you look on page 726 of the American edition, there is a scene where Harry is taking his History of Magic O.W.L. and trying not to fall asleep. He can't think of the answer to a question. Parvati is sitting in front of him and he imagines opening a window to see in her head. A moment later he thinks of the answer to the question he was looking for. My suspicion is we are going to see more of this in Book 6!

Please R/R and let me know what you think!


	22. Winter Break

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Twenty-two

Winter Break

The morning after the Ball marked the start of the Christmas break and the castle was in a frenzy of students completing their last minute packing. Since Harry wasn't travelling on the Hogwarts Express, he decided to stay in bed a little late, basking in the luxury of the warm feeling washing over him_. Last night had been a good night. A really good night!_ His mind flashed on images of Ginny looking stunning in her Dress robes, kissing her under the Weasley Whiz Bang-lit sky

He couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of apprehension about it though. He felt happy for the first time in a very long time but it seemed like every time something good happened, something terrible quickly followed. _Neither can live while the other survives_

Harry tried to shake these dark thoughts from his mind. Voldemort didn't get to hold all the cards. If he started letting the fear dictate his life, Voldemort had already won and there was no sense even fighting it anymore. The way to win was to keep on living. Well, maybe not the way to win, but the way to survive it anyway. He was going to spend Christmas with the people most important to him. He was going to get some time alone with Ginny. For these next few days, Voldemort could just back off!

He had enlarged his backpack to hold what he needed and he quickly filled it with some clothes and all the gifts for those at Grimmauld Place. He had to wait for the Hogwarts Express to depart before he could Apparate, just in case anyone was watching. He'd planned on walking Ron, Hermione, and Ginny out to the waiting carriages; Dumbledore had nixed letting him go to the train station. He didn't want to put anyone in danger so he readily agreed.

He hurried down the stairs from the boy's dormitory and found Ginny in the Common Room. His stomach did a complete 180 as he looked at her standing there. No amount of self-control could stop the grin that spread across his features. Ginny smiled in return and walked over to meet him.

"Morning sleepyhead," she said. "You missed breakfast."

Harry shrugged his shoulders, "Decided to have a lie in. Are you all packed?" He felt absurdly shy and wasn't sure why. What he wanted to do was lean over and kiss her but found himself holding back. _Was he allowed to just do that?_

Ginny seemed rather flustered herself. "Yes, I'm ready."

They were interrupted when Ron and Hermione crawled through the portrait hole. Hermione had a stack of toast wrapped in a napkin that she proceeded to hand to Harry. He smiled his gratitude, "Thanks!"

Ron just stood there staring at him looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. Harry tired to ignore him by walking over to a table and sitting down to start on his toast but Ron wouldn't be sidetracked so easily. He followed him over to the table and sat across from him, continuing to smile. It was beginning to grate on Harry's nerves. Finally he looked up in exasperation, "What?"

"Nothing," Ron continued to smile, "I was just wondering when you were going to make the announcement to Mum. She's always dreamed of planning the wedding of her only daughter and Merlin knows she loves _you_! She's just going to have kittens!"

Harry sprayed the tea he was drinking all over the table and Ginny had to pat him on the back to get his coughing under control. "Leave him alone Ron," she growled impatiently.

Hermione was laughing herself, "Come on Gin, he might as well get used to it. He's about to spend the entire holiday with your brothers, three of whom witnessed your snogfest on the dance floor last night. I'm sure the twins have spread the news to the rest of the clan by now."

Harry felt his cheeks flame at her words and he dropped his head into his hands, _they were going to be unmerciful! _"Maybe I should just stay here."

"You'll do no such thing," Ginny replied firmly, but then her face seemed to lose some of it's confidence. "Don't let them ruin your Christmas."

Ginny's face took on a closed, guarded expression and it dawned on Harry that she was worried he didn't want to face her family because he regretted what happened. He found himself annoyed at both Ron and himself for making her feel that way. Standing up, he firmly took Ginny by the hand and said, "Come on, I'll walk you down. Nothing is going to ruin this Christmas."

Ginny smiled her relief and couldn't resist turning to Ron as Harry lifted her backpack from the chair. She stuck her tongue out at her brother who continued to chuckle as they all made their way out of the castle. Harry enjoyed the feeling of her smaller hand in his as they walked out. Their shoulders would brush up against each other sending warm waves of feeling crashing through his belly.

Colin Creevey caught up with them before they left and handed them some pictures he'd taken at the Ball. There were nice shots of each couple entering the festivities as well as a great picture of the four of them at the table. The final was one of Harry and Ginny in their embrace after the encounter with Cho. Ron made a grab for it but Harry's Seeker instincts were quicker. He handed the picture to Ginny.

"Keep that away from your brothers."

He walked them down to the awaiting carriages and sheepishly handed Ginny her backpack. "This is as far as I can go," he said apologetically. It had never felt more like a prison.

"You're going to take a Portkey back right mate?" Ron asked. "You'll be there before us. I don't see why we can't just all take it together."

"Honestly Ron, it's so no one suspects Harry is leaving!" Hermione hissed.

Harry hated lying to them so he just remained silent and allowed them their assumptions. Hermione grabbed Ron's arm and led him into the carriage; "We'll see you inside Ginny."

He waited until they were firmly closed inside before turning to Ginny. She was staring at the Thestrals with a troubled look on her face.

"They really are kind of creepy, aren't they?" she whispered.

Harry started, his eyes opening wide; "You can see them?"

Ginny nodded somberly, "I could when we returned, because of Hestia"

Harry was stunned; "You never said anything! Ron and Hermione too?"

Ginny grabbed his shoulder and gave it a tight squeeze; "You were still dealing with an awful lot and hadn't completely recovered from your injuries. We thought it best not to tell you. It's not your fault Harry."

Harry's guilt was coming more from the fact he hadn't realized that his friends could now all see the leathery creatures than the why. "I'm sorry."

Ginny put each of her hands on the side of his face, "Harry, we're at war and my family is heavily involved. That's how it should be, the cause is worthwhile. No matter how difficult it becomes, we all have to remember that."

He sighed, knowing she was right. He still wished he could somehow shield all of them from the uglier side of it however. He had to learn how to accept that he couldn't, not yet anyway. He shook his head and brought his thoughts back to the girl standing in front him.

"Sorry I can't ride back with you, I'd much rather." Despite his newfound enjoyment of Apparition, he honestly meant it. He'd prefer to ride the train back with his friends. 

"It's no big deal really Harry. Whatever we all have to do, just so long as we can all be together for Christmas, right?"

He liked her attitude, "Right." He leaned down and gently caught her lips with his own. He intended for it to be a brief peck goodbye but somehow once he started he found he didn't want to stop. Ginny wound her arms around his neck and returned the intensity of the kiss with her own. Finally he pulled back panting.

After he found his voice he said, "I'll see you in a few hours."

Ginny had a shell-shocked expression on her face and he knew exactly how she was feeling. He felt the same, "Okay, bye."

"Bye."

Both turned and walked in their own directions with their heads spinning, the same dazed expression on each of their faces.

**********

Professors Dumbledore and Snape watched Harry as he made his way back up the castle steps from the window in the Headmaster's office. Both wore worried expressions on their faces, although Snape's still came off as more of a scowl.

"You're sure you still want to allow Potter to return to Headquarters for the holidays?"

"I'm sure," Dumbledore nodded. "I don't think it would be healthy for him to spend Christmas here alone."

"Still Headmaster, perhaps it would be safer. As I told you, the Dark Lord is aware of his feelings for Miss Weasley. Lucius gave him a full update on her involvement with the Chamber, he won't hesitate to use her again. My concern is that he gained his information before the Ball had even ended. This is not the first time he's got information from the school and I'm no further along in determining the source. I fear we have to consider the possibility of a spy."

"Let's not be too hasty Severus. Any number of the students could have easily informed their parents what happened here last night. He did kiss her rather intensely right in the middle of the dance floor." The twinkle in Dumbledore's eye shown brightly and he seemed to be struggling to withhold a grin. The expression seemed to only sour the Potions Master further.

"Yes, he's as foolish as he is arrogant."

"He's sixteen Severus. Do you remember how it felt to be sixteen?"

"Sixteen or not it is his duty to not make it easier for the Dark Lord to gain information. He clearly gave him yet another weapon, and we all know he won't hesitate to use it. Potter should be focused on his training, not his hormones."

"He's lost enough of his childhood Severus, if he can find some measure of happiness amidst all the chaos that surrounds him, I won't interfere with that."

**********

Harry waited in the Common Room for another hour before grabbing his backpack and heading out the door. He ambled slowly to the gate and stood just outside it forming a mental picture of the street in front of Grimmauld Place. He smiled when he opened his eyes and realized he was there, still getting a thrill out of his new ability to Apparate.

Steeling himself, he took a deep breath and walked up to the immense front door. Molly Weasley swung it open wide and dragged him inside as she wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug.

"Harry! It's so good to see you dear. How are you?"

"I'm good Mrs. Weasley. Didn't splinch myself!"

"Well of course you didn't dear. We had no worries about that. Come on inside and take your things up to your room. I've got lunch going in the kitchen and Fred and George will be arriving soon. They're going to go pick up Ron and Ginny at Kings Cross when the Express comes in."

"Okay Mrs. Weasley."

Harry spent the afternoon in the kitchen with Mrs. Weasley, Fred and George. Both twins teased Harry good-naturedly over his exploits at the Ball, but to his immense relief, Mrs. Weasley refrained from commenting. The twins' entertained them with stories of their joke shop and how business was going. Even Mrs. Weasley hid her grin at some of the products the twin's had come up with, although mostly she clucked her tongue in disapproval of their antics. When it came time to go to King's Cross, Harry really wanted to go with the twins but resigned himself to staying put.

**********

Molly Weasley kept her eye surreptitiously on Harry as they worked on the dinner together. He seemed to know his way around a kitchen, although he tended to do things the Muggle way before she would lean over and show him a spell. She imagined he'd had years of practice playing House Elf to the miserable excuse of a family he lived with.

He seemed much happier than he did when he was here over the summer, more relaxed and traces of the young man she remembered were more clearly visible. His eyes still looked haunted if she could catch him at an unguarded moment. Ron sent her an owl after Harry asked Ginny to go to the Ball and Molly was anxious to get a firsthand look at how the two young people behaved toward one another. From what the twins' said, it sounded like they had a brilliant evening.

She was determined that for this holiday, they'd have the chance to simply be kids and enjoy all the giddiness and good feelings a new relationship could bring. They both deserved that. She knew her daughter had fancied Harry for a very long time, no matter how much she more recently tried to deny it. Ginny's owl posts about her new Ball gown sounded like her girl was simply glowing and Molly was anxious to wrap her arms around her.

The attack on Hogsmeade had her frantic and Arthur had to physically restrain her from flooing right up to Hogwarts and checking on the kids herself. Albus had assured her they were all fine and in need of nothing more than a healthy dose of chocolate. Nevertheless, it was yet another part of their childhood, visits to the Wizarding village, which was being taken away from them.

She was dragged from her thoughts by a commotion in the Entrance Hall. She could hear the loud voices of her boys and rushed to quiet them before they woke up that dreadful Mrs. Black. She called them all into the kitchen and had them sit with Harry on the long wooden bench at the dining table.

She watched the warmth flood Harry's eyes as he looked at Ginny. Her daughter beamed at her new boyfriend as she sat down next to him and the two stared lost in each other's eyes until Ron rudely elbowed Harry in the ribs.

"Snap out of it Potter," Ron grumbled and Molly could tell he was in a foul mood after having to leave Hermione at King's Cross.

"How was the trip back?" Harry asked, forcibly dragging his eyes away from Ginny.

Ron shrugged, "The usual. Malfoy stopped by looking for you. Ginny here stunned him."

"Ginny!" Molly was scandalized.

"Well I was going to use the Bat Bogey Hex again, it looked so perfect on him the last time but what I really wanted was for him to just shut up. Stunning him worked better!" Ginny's voice was adamant that she had done no wrong.

"He wanted to know why you weren't spending Christmas with us," Ron added. "Hermione thinks he's still suspicious."

"Well I hoped she docked you some points for hexing him Ginny." Molly said. Ginny running around fighting with her brothers was one thing, but on the train with other students? That was not the way proper young ladies behaved!

"Nah," Ginny smiled, "She was too busy stunning Crabbe."

"And I got Goyle," Ron added proudly.

"Honestly! What got into all of you?"

Harry was smiling, "I'm sure it had something to do with the abandoned orphan boy spending Christmas alone, right?" He rolled his eyes as if it was something he typically put up with

"Among other things," Ginny growled.

Molly could see the gratefulness in Harry's eyes over his friend's defending him and she felt a sharp pang of anger toward the Malfoy boy but she forced it down.

"Okay all of you, I have two things we need to discuss," Molly interrupted them. All four of her own children looked at her warily, recognizing the tone of her voice that meant they were about to get in trouble. Only Harry seemed as yet unaware of the coming storm. He was smiling and obviously pleased that his friends had arrived. She felt a slight misgiving about doing this now, but it had to be done.

"I've heard some things about a party that went on in the Gryffindor Common Room after your last Quidditch match. Now you three," she said sternly, pointing to Ron, Ginny and Harry in turn, "are underage and I'm very disappointed in all of you. You all should know better. You're a Prefect Ron, you should be setting a better example."

Rounding on the twins, she continued, "I'm well aware who supplied the Fire Whiskey and trust it won't be happening again! Being of adult age means holding adult responsibilities and it's you two who I'll hold accountable."

Molly watched their reactions closely. Ron's ears turned red as he smiled sheepishly and began studying his feet almost as soon as she started speaking. Ginny rolled her eyes in that annoying way she'd picked up around the age of eight. Fred and George stared right back unabashed until her glare became too much and they moved their eyes to the floor, mollified. It was Harry she felt sorry for. His eyes had widened in surprise when she began and she watched the panic of being caught filter over him. He was now staring at the floor with the rest of them, his cheeks stained a bright pink, he was mortified.

She was having a hard time scolding Harry; her instincts were always to smother him with the warm tenderness she knew he'd been lacking. But if she intended to take on the role of parent, as she'd promised herself she'd do, then it needed to be done. She'd learned a long time ago when Bill and Charlie were small that being a good parent meant sometimes having to be the bad guy. It was a hard lesson to learn, but she felt her children had turned out right because of it. She was immensely proud of all of them, even Percy still.

Molly had coddled Percy more than the others. He was so different from the rest and they teased him so. She'd always felt the need to defend him. Looking back now, she was afraid that her attitude towards Percy had done him more harm than good in the long run. She was determined not to make the same mistake again with Harry. She shook her head to clear it, now was not the time!

"The other thing is about Christmas. We won't be having dinner here after all. Your father and I have been back to the Burrow several times and all is well there. We're going to have dinner itself at the Burrow. I've invited the Grangers and Remus to join us. Christmas is a time for families and celebrating joy and the good things in life. We're going to do that. We'll return here afterwards, but dinner itself will be at the Burrow!"

Woots and whistles met this announcement and a huge grin splayed across Ron's face, quickly displaced quickly by one of nervousness.

"Mr. and Mrs. Granger too?" he asked.

"Yes," Molly answered. "Nothing is going to spoil this Christmas and we're all going to enjoy ourselves."

**********

While Ron and Ginny went to put their things away, Harry remained in the kitchen. He was used to the Dursley form of discipline, which usually involved a backhand or a strong dose of criticism. Somehow, he thought the stern disapproval in Mrs. Weasley's eyes was infinitely worse. The fact she was disappointed in him really bothered him and he found himself not wanting to do anything that would make her look at him that way again.

He wasn't sure how he felt about Christmas. It would be good to see the Burrow again, it was a place that truly felt like home and he missed it. It would also be good to be somewhere different from last year so the memories would be easier to take. Still, the idea of spending the day with all the Weasleys and the Grangers left him feeling slightly lonely. He was happy Moony would be there too.

The object of his musings walked through the door followed closely by Tonks and Charlie Weasley. Harry hadn't seen Charlie since the First Task now over two years ago. He looked good, suntanned and healthy. He reached out a weather-beaten hand to shake and asked, "How are you, Harry?"

"I'm good. When did you get back?"

"Just home for Christmas. It's been a while so I took a few days off."

"And has proceeded to torment the rest of us since arriving," Tonks grumbled, smiling at Charlie fondly.

Harry noticed a dark look cross Moony's features but he moved to the counter and proceeded to pour a drink without saying a word. Harry glanced slightly nervously between Tonks and Moony, unsure what was going on. Neither was looking at each other and Tonks was paying far more attention to Charlie. Moony continued to brood. Harry's mind flashed on an image of Sirius pouring himself a drink the year before, looking much the same as Moony did now.

"I'm going to go up and surprise Ron and Ginny," Charlie said after an uncomfortable silence. "We'll catch up later Harry."

Tonks squeezed Harry's arm, "I'll just leave you two to talk." She made her way out without saying a word to Remus before Harry could respond. 

He turned accusatory eyes on Moony, "Where have you been?"

Lupin sighed, "I owe you an apology Harry, and I know it. I never should have let Severus get to me that night and I certainly shouldn't have pulled away from you. Again."

Harry swallowed but forced himself to continue, "Why did you then?"

Moony paused a moment, seeming lost in his own thoughts, "I can't honestly say. Force of habit? I'm not cut out for this role and I know it. I guess I needed to go through another bout of self-loathing. I've gotten good at it."

Harry knew what that felt like! "Is that what this is all about?" he asked, nodding in the direction of the Fire Whiskey. "It's what Sirius was doing too."

Moony looked up quickly, a shocked expression on his face, "I suppose you're right. I hadn't quite caught the similarity to Padfoot."

"Is that why Tonks is mad at you?" Harry asked, purposely ignoring the reference to his Godfather. He didn't want to go there now.

Moony smiled at Harry's foresight, "Yes. I think it's better that we keep some distance. There's too much going on right now to be sidetracked."

"So you've pushed her away, towards Charlie? I guess you're right." Harry was thinking more about Ginny now. Was this the right time to start something? He shouldn't drag her into his mess; she'd only end up hurt no matter how it ended.

"No!" Moony seemed to be reading Harry's thoughts. "I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about me. Ginny is good for you Harry, don't you dare push her away over some foolish noble ideals!"

"What difference does it make if it's you or me?"

"Because our situations are entirely different! You're not a werewolf, there are certain factors to consider."

"No, I'm just doomed to fight Voldemort!"

"Harry, if you pull away from Ginny now, and give up any measure of happiness you've found, then Voldemort has already won. If you allow him to steal the good things in your life, he wins."

"And why is that different for you?"

A very slow, sad smile spread across Moony's face, "You know what? You always remind me so much of James, but it's just a physical thing. You are truly your mother's son. That sounded remarkably like her."

Harry swallowed again, "So you'll make things up with Tonks?"

"I'll try. I've had a hard time letting anyone get close since I lost your parents and Sirius, even Peter that night. There are a lot of things I wish I'd done differently. I wish I'd tried to contact Sirius, listen to what he had to say. I wish I'd made an effort to keep track of you. I truly thought you were better of without me Harry. If I'd ever knownI'm so sorry Harry."

"It wasn't your fault."

"Sirius left a letter for me in his will, a letter telling me he'd be waiting on the other side to kick my ass if I didn't do right by you. I feel like I've let you both down. I'd like to give it another shot, if you'll let me. I'm not Sirius, and I'm not trying to take his place. I don't think I ever could do that, but I'd like for us to build our own friendship. I've got Dumbledore's Pensieve upstairs. I thought maybe after dinner you'd like to look at it. I put all good memories in there, but I'd rather you take Ginny or Ron with you to view them. I think it's better than if you see them alone."

Harry thought about Moony's words for a moment. He thought he'd like to try again with Moony too, he was the last link Harry had to his parents and Sirius. He owed it to all of them to at least try. "Wi-Will you come with us too? You could answer any questions."

Moony smiled gratefully, "Thank you Harry, I'd be honored. Are you going to ask Ginny?"

"Both she and Ron actually. I want them both to come. They ah- They've both been great this year. I used to get jealous of the Weasley family and how close and loyal to each other they all were. They treat me that way too."

Moony smiled, "I'm glad you found them, Harry."

Neither noticed Molly peering in at them from the doorway. Tears filled her eyes as she heard Harry's last words and saw the wonder on his face. She instantly made a final decision about a Christmas present she'd been toying with.

As she entered the room, both Remus and Harry smiled at her. Harry could feel warmth and affection radiating from her, as well as an intense curiosity. He knew she was thinking about the Pensieve.

He was nervous about asking so many people to view these memories with him, but this was his new family and he wanted them to see his old one. They'd welcomed him with open arms when they never had to and he knew he needed them all in his life. He never would have survived the loss of Sirius without them.

"Mrs. Weasley, I know you heard about the Pensieve memories," Harry began.

Molly colored red like her children do when embarrassed, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"No, that's not what I meant," Harry clarified. He felt very shy about asking her this, "Would you want to see them with us?"

Tears filled Molly's eyes as she once again wrapped her arms around the boy she considered another son, "If you're sure Harry, I'd be honored. I never knew James or Lily, but I would love to get the chance."

"After dinner then," Harry braced himself for it.

A/N: Sorry for the shorter chapter. This one and the next were actually all one chapter but I had to break it because I'm having trouble with long chapters at SIYE and this was my longest ever. I promise to post the next one quickly, it'll be the memories from Moony.

Please R/R and let me know!


	23. Memories

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Twenty-three

Memories

After dinner that first night back at Grimmauld Place, Moony, Molly, Ron, Ginny and Harry retired to Moony's room. Moony had the Pensieve set up in the center of his sitting area by the fireplace. Harry told Ron and Ginny before dinner what he and Moony were doing and why. He asked them if they'd come view the memories with him. Both had agreed and Ginny seemed oddly touched that he had included her. Harry wished Hermione was able to be there too, but was sure Ron would fill her in.

Harry sat on the couch with Ginny and Mrs. Weasley on each side of him. Ron took one of the chairs while Moony got the Pensieve ready. Harry suddenly felt extremely nervous, both about seeing the memories himself and also letting the others watch them. What if his father behaved badly, like in Snape's memory? What if there was more evidence his parent's hated each other? Maybe it would be better to never know, what if there was yet another secret buried in that stone basin? He really didn't think he could handle any more.

What was he thinking asking Moony to do this and why did he ask everyone to witness it with him? This was a bad idea, he should have looked in the Pensieve first before allowing anyone else to see. 

Ginny must have sensed his anxiety for she reached over and placed her hand within his, squeezing his fingers tightly. When he looked over at her she mouthed, "It'll be okay." Harry took a deep breath and sunk back into the couch. _It would be okay_.

"Okay," Moony said raising his wand. "Since there are several of us, I'm going to have the memories appear above the Pensieve rather than have all of us try to enter." Touching his wand to the silvery liquid, Moony let the memories begin. A cloudy mist hovered above the basin before forming a fuzzy image that gradually clarified itself.

It was almost like watching a movie, only the images were 3-D and so real it was like the people were standing right there in the room. It was amazing really and Harry found he was fascinated despite his apprehension.

He recognized a dorm room at Hogwarts that held four beds. The sign on the door said "First Year Boys." Four young students entered the room; two were silent and looking quietly around, seemingly overwhelmed by their surroundings. The other two were joking amicably about the feast they'd just completed in the Great Hall. They plowed into the room past the more reticent first two.

An unmistakable young Sirius strode over to the bed against the window and plopped down upon it, "Lucky me, I call this one!" His hair was longish and he had an air about him of someone used to getting his own way.

James sat down next on the bed next to Sirius. "I'm James Potter, this is Sirius Black," he introduced himself to the other two in the room. Harry felt the breath catch in his throat gazing at the image of his father looking younger than Harry was now. They really did look amazingly like one another. It felt strange to look at his father as a child.

"Remus Lupin," a young Moony said softly, putting his things on the bed across from James. Moony looked very different and Harry wasn't sure he could have picked him out of a crowd. His back stiffened as his attention was turned to the remaining member of the room.

"Peter Pettigrew," the small, wiry boy said. "You two know each other then?"

"Nah," answered Sirius, tossing a Quaffle up and down in the air. "We just happened to sit together on the train. We pulled a joke on some girls in the next car over, and I knew we'd be sorted together. I can't believe I got sorted into Gryffindor. My family is going to have a fit!"

"Why is that?" asked the young Remus, in very much the same mild tone Harry was familiar with.

"Because my family has always been in Slytherin, as far back as I can remember. Wish I could get a look at my mother's face when she hears!"

"I'm sure she'll be proud of you no matter what House you're in," answered James bracingly.

Sirius just snorted, "You don't know my family."

The scene faded and was replaced by another. This was a Quidditch match, Gryffindor vs. Hufflepuff and Harry felt his pulse quicken. He was going to see his dad playing Quidditch! He leaned forward on the couch to try and pick him out of the players and missed the smiles that played on both Ginny and Mrs. Weasley's faces at his eager curiosity.

"Cool, Quidditch Harry!" Ron exclaimed. "You're dad played, right?"

"Yeah, he was a Chaser."

"And Sirius was a Beater," Moony clarified. "This is our sixth year."

Moony and Wormtail were sitting in the Gryffindor stands watching the game. A young girl with brown hair sat hand in hand with Moony.

"That's Diana Trent," Moony pointed her out. "Before she dumped me." Harry had trouble equating the slight girl in the image to the current DADA teacher. He supposed in was the difference in age.

"She dumped you?" Ginny asked him curiously.

Moony smiled, he seemed more amused by the memory than pained by it. "She hated Sirius, and wasn't all that fond of the rest of the Marauders either. If you dated one of us, wellyou kind of got all of us. The girls we dated always had to put up with a lot."

Harry studied the Marauders closely. All of them looked much more recognizable now to the way Harry knew them. He could see Sirius flying recklessly and had to smile sadly. His hair was still longish but he had a relaxed, carefree manner about him that Harry found hard to reconcile. This was before Azkaban, he kept reminding himself. He watched as Sirius hit the Bludgers towards the opposing team with unerring accuracy. Maybe it was just the fact that he was a Beater, but Harry was struck very much of the twins at this moment. Sirius could have really helped them with their joke shop if he'd had the chance

He felt a lump rise in his throat and forced his attention away. Young James had the Quaffle and was racing towards the hoops with two of the Hufflepuff Chasers right on his tail. James swooped and dove trying to lose them, never taking his eye off the goal. One of the other players reached out to snatch the Quaffle and James rose in the air in a near vertical climb. He raced for the hoop and scored.

Both Ron and Ginny let our cheers as if it were a real game and Harry had to smile. His father really was very good. They watched the game for several minutes more. Harry tried vainly to block out the presence of Wormtail cheering when his father would score.

"Sorry Harry, I tried to chose memories that didn't involve him a lot. But he was always there." Moony sounded so sad and far away that Harry had to force his eyes from the images in front of him to get a good look at his former teacher. Wormtail had betrayed Moony too that night and it was obviously still painful for him.

"It's all right, Moony. Thank you for doing this."

"It's my pleasure, Harry."

The Quidditch match faded and the next memory appeared. They were back in Gryffindor Tower. James was examining himself in the mirror, trying to get his impossibly unkempt hair to lie flat.

"Doesn't this look familiar," Ron commented dryly and the others laughed.

"For pity's sake James, give it up!" Sirius yelled from across the room. "It's never going to lie down flat, get over it! Blimey, you're Head Boy, it's a disgrace that you're this nervous over a date."

"It's not just a date Sirius. It's the start of the rest of my life," James replied calmly. Both Sirius and Peter made retching noises as James grinned.

"I don't know why she agreed to go with you, she's done a damn good job of ignoring you up until now," Moony replied calmly.

"She's seen the error of her ways and now finds me irresistible."

All three of the other boys rolled their eyes. "And so humble," Sirius added.

"Look," James rounded on them, suddenly serious. "This is important to me, okay? Lay off. She's important to me."

Sirius looked like he was about to comment when Moony cut him off, "Okay James. You look fine, and she did agree to go with you."

The four walked downstairs into the Common Room. It looked relatively the same as it did now, which seemed strange and jolting to Harry. He watched as his mother made her way down the stairs from the girl's dormitory and looked over at the Marauders.

"I agreed to go out with _you_ James, not your entourage," she said in amusement.

"Right. I mean, I know. I meanThey're not coming!" All of James former bravado was gone, replaced by blatant nervousness. Harry noticed both Ginny and Mrs. Weasley smiling at the image of James, obviously finding his nervousness endearing. What Harry didn't realize was that it reminded both of them of Harry.

He was mesmerized by the image of his mother. Her eyes, the same green eyes he saw staring back at him from the mirror every day, were alight with joy and playfulness. She showed none of the anger towards James he had witnessed before but instead seemed rather amused by him. She had a soft voice and a sweet face, but somehow Harry could tell she was a force to be reckoned with. She seemed to keep all four of the incorrigible Maruaders in line with barely an effort.

The young couple climbed out the Portrait Hole hand in hand, ignoring the whistles and catcalls from the remaining Marauders. "We've lost him," Sirius sighed after they left.

"What do you mean?" asked Peter, sounding alarmed and caused Harry to dig his nails into the palm of his hand. Ginny rubbed her hand on his back soothingly and he allowed the tension to abate.

"We haven't lost him," Moony said in that same even tone. "We're just going to have to start letting girls into the club."

Sirius grinned wolfishly, "Pity that."

That scene faded and another one formed. This was obviously a wedding. He could see his parents in their wedding clothes dancing with each other. They looked lost in each other's eyes. He saw his father mouth the words "I love you," and his mother returned the sentiment. It was obvious how happy they were and it made Harry smile. Looking around the dance floor, he could pick out Sirius by the bar chatting up one of his mother's bridesmaids. Harry didn't know who she was. Moony was dancing with someone else Harry didn't recognize and looked far happier than Harry could ever remember seeing him. His gaze kept being drawn back to his parents. They both danced well and seemed to be a part of each other as they moved across the floor. Harry imagined if she had lived, his mother would have been the one to teach him how to dance.

He had to do a double take as his gaze crossed over a blonde woman in a bridesmaid dress, an oh-too-familiar scowl on her face. "Aunt Petunia!" Harry exclaimed. "She went to their wedding?" Harry asked Moony.

Moony frowned as he watched the images, "Yes, she was there." His eyes were now darting around the people gathered on the dance floor. Petunia was standing with an older couple who was nearly beaming with pride at Lily and James.

"Is that my grandparents?" Harry asked in wonder. He'd never so much as seen a picture of them. If Aunt Petunia had any, she never put them out where Harry could see them. The man had graying hair that had obviously once been blonde. His eyes were blue and kindly. He looked the part of what Harry had pictured a grandfather to be. The woman looked anything but like a grandmother. Tall and stately, she had a regal look but her expression was kind. She actually looked a lot like Aunt Petunia, only less bitter and with auburn colored hair.

Harry was fascinated and looked to Moony for confirmation, "Yes, those are Lily's parents."

Remus was looking very uncomfortable but Harry didn't notice, "Are my other grandparents there too?" Of course they would be, it was their son's wedding after all. "Where are they? I want to see what they look like."

Harry was growing excited but as the image faded he turned to Moony in alarm, "Wait!"

"That's all of the memory I put in there, Harry. I'll add some of them at another time. They weren't there that day."

"Wh-," Harry was about to ask why but stopped himself. If they weren't at the wedding of their son, that probably meant they were already dead. He didn't want to know about that right now. He wanted more good memories.

Another scene was forming in the air. This took place in the cottage Harry now recognized as his home in Godric's Hollow. He couldn't help that his body stiffened at the sight of it, as visions of Snape's memory flashed in his mind. Ginny once again rubbed her hand on Harry's back and Mrs. Weasley took his hand. He allowed himself to relax slightly, but kept a wary eye on the image.

The four Marauders were outside on a patio huddled over what looked like a Muggle grill.

"And Muggles eat what they cook on it?" Sirius was asking with incredulity. 

"Lily's parents owned it and the food was always good," James answered. The Marauders continued to bicker over the use of the grill and must have been amusing because he could hear Ron laughing out loud, but Harry's attention was focused once again on his mother. She was sat back from the image, obviously not the focus of Remus' attention but still there. 

She was sitting on a rocking chair inside holding a small bundle in her arms. If Harry looked close enough, he could see a shock of unruly black hair and could tell it was a baby_. That was him! That was his mother holding him._ He concentrated intently to tune out the sounds of the other's voices so he could listen to only her. She was singing softly. _His mother was singing him a lullaby._

The tune was hauntingly familiar and Harry felt a gigantic lump form in his throat. He'd often wondered if she'd ever done that. It was like a piece of something that had always been missing suddenly clicking into place. Without thinking what he was doing, Harry reached out a hand to try and touch her but his hand just pushed through nothing but air. As if she were a ghost.

He shut his eyes tightly and fought against the welling tide. Moony had noticed what he was doing and ended the spell so the vision returned to a mist and settled back into the Pensieve.

"Hey!" Ron said, obviously enjoying the scene he was watching with the Marauders. Mrs. Weasley scowled at him and Ron shut up after getting a look at Harry's face.

"I think that's enough for tonight. It's late, why don't we all head to bed," Moony said, stretching. "I need to check on something downstairs, then I'm going to turn in myself.

Moony followed Ron and Mrs. Weasley from the room but Ginny stayed behind with Harry, still rubbing her hand on his back.

"All right Harry?" she asked quietly.

Still not trusting his voice, he merely nodded as she pulled his head down to rest on her shoulder. "Thank you for sharing that with me. It was nice to see your parents so happy together."

Harry shut his eyes, his parents were happy in those memories. His mother seemed very much in love with his dad and there was nothing forced about the relationship he could see. His parents knew about the Prophecy, but they didn't stop living. They went ahead with their lives and from what he could see, their time together was happy.

He sighed in relief and wrapped his arms around Ginny. It was amazing to him how just her presence could calm him. Earlier that day when he'd been talking with Moony, he'd considered giving Ginny up for her own protection. But he now realized that it was already too late for that. He had somehow come to need her as much as he needed Ron and Hermione. He was stronger and more focused with them than on his own. He'd just have to find a way to protect them all.

"Remus will be back up in a minute, we should head back to our own rooms," she said and the warmth of her breath on his neck sent shivers up his spine.

"Umm humm," Harry breathed, leaning over and catching her lips with his own. They each leaned back on the couch until they were sprawled out side by side. As he kissed her, he was startled when he felt her tongue dart out seeking entrance. This hadn't happened during his only kiss with Cho, but Ginny seemed to know what she was doing. He opened his mouth hesitantly and was pleasantly overcome with the sensations washing over him. He'd never known kissing could be like this, no wonder Ron and Hermione wanted to do it all the time!

Ginny began to run her fingers through his hair and moaned slightly as Harry met her tongue with his own. He was lost in her now, the Pensieve, the memories, everything else forgotten. All that mattered was this slip of a girl in his arms and that she never stopped what she was doing at that moment.

The clearing of a throat brought both teenagers crashing back to earth with a start. Moony was standing over them with trying to suppress his grin. "I think it's time the two of you said goodnight."

Both Harry and Ginny colored deeply and nearly bolted from the room. Harry could hear Moony chuckling as they went. They stopped outside the door to Ginny's room and Harry leaned in again, spreading kisses down the side of her neck. "See you tomorrow Gin," he breathed.

"'Night Harry," she sighed, although neither moved from the spot they were standing.

"Good night Harry and Ginny," Mrs. Weasley's sharp voice was heard, sending them both quickly into their own rooms for the night.

__

A/N: I hope you liked this chapter, I had a really tough time with it and ended up tossing out the first **three** versions and starting over each time. I discarded a bunch of memory scenes as being too sappy! I hope you liked the ones I kept! Please R/R and let me know, I appreciate it!

Remember, these memories are from Moony's POV and wouldn't include anything really personal between James and Lily. Moony also, I think, would be very selective in what he put in there so as not to upset Harry. 


	24. 24 Christmas

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Twenty-four

Christmas

The next day Mrs. Weasley pulled out all the Christmas decorations and set everyone to work decorating the old mansion. It was a hard job to make Grimmauld Place seem cheery, despite all the renovations that had been done. Harry suspected Mrs. Weasley was trying to make it look different than it had last year for him specifically and he appreciated her efforts, even if it wasn't helping. 

He couldn't help the rush of memories everything in this house gave him. From the immense tree in the Drawing Room Remus had brought in, to the pines and holly berries strung over the entranceways. Missing this year were the Father Christmas hats adorning the heads of Kreachers dead relatives. He guessed Mrs. Weasley had thought them in poor taste but something about it was so innately Sirius that it made the pang of his absence all the more sharp. 

Harry was trying to keep the melancholy at bay and not let the others know how he was feeling. He wasn't sure how successful his attempts were, however. Mrs. Weasley had taken to checking on him every fifteen minutes or so and he was beginning to really wish she'd just leave him alone. It didn't help that his scar had been flaring painfully since his arrival. His irritation with the constant pain wasn't helping his mood.

He was trying not to pull away from all of them, he knew they hated it when he did that. It was how he dealt with things though. When it all became too much, he needed to retreat and gain his bearings again. It had always been this way. When he was a little kid and locked in his cupboard, it had become sort of a refuge, his own place away from all the hate the Dursleys always handed him. Even when he no longer was shut in that broom cupboard, he sometimes missed the solitude of it. Particularly when he needed to think.

He wasn't sure what was wrong with him; his thoughts about Sirius and the pain over losing him had actually gotten much better. He thought he'd come to terms with it. Somehow, just the fact that it was Christmas was making that loss seem so hollow again and he didn't know why. He was happy to be here with the Weasleys, he was enjoying himself mostlybut still, he couldn't help feel somethingor someonewas missing.

The floo connection was open to Hermione's house, but she was spending the weekend visiting relatives she hadn't seen, so they hadn't so much as talked to her. Ron was in a foul mood over it and the teasing from Ginny and the twins didn't help.

Harry still wasn't sure how he felt about spending Christmas at the Burrow. He hoped he'd be able to pull himself out of this funk before it was time to go. He didn't want to spoil Christmas for his friends and their families. He certainly didn't want any of their sympathetic looks, but still. The idea of being trapped with them all left him feeling lonely and out of sorts.

He entered the Drawing Room and stood there staring up at the tree and watching the Fairy lights twinkle. Mrs. Weasley had told everyone to meet in there for dinner tonight. He imagined she was planning some kind of Christmas Eve feast. The Dursleys always went out visiting on Christmas Eve. 

Harry had never really celebrated Christmas before coming to Hogwarts. The Dursleys hadn't included him in any of their traditions. Aunt Petunia didn't liked the mess of a Christmas tree so she kept a small artificial one to place in the window for the neighbors to see. The outside of the house was heavily decorated with lights and wreaths, but the inside remained unchanged. Aunt Petunia said there was entirely too much chaos involved with decorations, but she did up the outside for the neighbor's benefit. On Christmas morning the little tree in the window would be dwarfed with packages for Dudley. Father Christmas didn't bring gifts to freaks, only good little boys, so Harry had been endlessly told.

Standing there lost in his childhood, he'd missed hearing Ginny as she sneaked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Happy Christmas," she breathed into his neck forcing all thoughts of the Dursleys from his mind.

He pulled her into his arms and stared down at her fondly, "Happy Christmas to you too." He still felt slightly unsure that he was allowed to just touch her when he wanted. He was also surprised by how much he wanted to!

A mischievous twinkle appeared in her eye. "So have you just been standing here waiting for the next person to come along or did you have someone special in mind?"

Harry looked at her in confusion, "Huh?"

"Well rumor has it this is your old stand-by. I guess you always fall back on what works."

Harry was thoroughly lost, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"So, this isn't a set up? Trying to relive your glory days with Cho?"

"Cho? What? Where did that come from?"

Ginny seemed ready to burst and she pointed upwards with exasperation. Harry followed her finger to the mistletoe hung above the doorway and his face colored. Ginny burst into laughter, "Harry either you're truly innocent or an accomplished actor!"

He smiled sheepishly and murmured, "I didn't notice it there."

"I bet that's what you say to all the girls. Are you going to kiss me or what?"

Harry's confusion and melancholy evaporated instantly as he took her in his arms and began to snog her senseless. Who cared about decorations and traditions when there were much more pleasant ways to occupy yourself? He was beginning to feel very appreciative to whomever it was who came up with the idea of kissing under the mistletoe. A brilliant concept really

"Get your hands off my baby sister, I see you there!" an angry voice sounded from the hallway.

The two broke apart and Harry spun around to face an amused looking Bill. "Happy Christmas you two. Am I going to have to remove all the mistletoe from this house if you two can't control yourselves?"

Harry blushed a deeper red than the berries on the plant but Ginny wound her arms around her brother's chest and hugged, "Happy Christmas Bill! Is Fleur coming?"

Bill's face clouded for a moment before he quickly said, "No, she went home for Christmas."

The other members of the family slowly drifted in along with Remus, Tonks and Alastor Moody. Molly had put out a huge spread and everyone filled his or her plate buffet style. Arthur charmed an old Muggle style victrola to play Christmas Carols and the sounds of laughter filled the halls of the usually gloomy Grimmauld Place. Mrs. Black remained conspicuously quiet, obviously annoyed by the joy within her home.

When they were finished eating, Molly asked Harry and Ginny to help her bring the plates back to the kitchen. She charmed the sink to begin washing the dishes and they just stacked the plates on the side. Harry bet Aunt Petunia might be a little keener on magic if she could see this!

Outside the door to the kitchen hung another sprig of mistletoe. He grabbed Ginny by the hand and held here back.

"What?" she asked, looking at him blankly.

Harry just looked up expectantly at the mistletoe, "You know, my stand-by?"

She grinned and moved back within his grasp, "Um, can't break with tradition now, could we?"

"Wouldn't be right," he breathed heavily before claiming her lips once again. Her hair smelled like wildflowers and sent waves of summer memories at the Burrow washing over him despite the chill.

"Oi, Potter, get your tongue back in your own mouth! That's my sister!" the disgruntled voice of one of the twins yelled down the stairs. Harry could hear laughter coming from the Drawing Room and he colored instantly. Ginny was unfazed and dragged him by the hand back into the room.

"You're just jealous because you're here alone, again," she answered waspishly.

Smiling, Molly walked over to the corner of the room and pulled out a dusty box that had seen better days.

"Oh my word!" Ginny gasped. "Is that— How did you get it?"

Molly beamed at her, "Your father brought it back from the Burrow. We went without it last year due to circumstances but this year, we'll continue the tradition here." Mrs. Weasley opened the box to reveal a set of various colored glass ornaments. Each one bore the name of a different Weasley. 

Molly and Arthur hung their ornaments first. Each bore a number of blue ribbons and one pink. Harry could make out some Muggle items and a wedding band on Mr. Weasley's.

Bill and Charlie each put up their own. He could see a dragon on Charlie's as well as a snitch. It had a blue ribbon with the letter C in the center. Bill hung his on the opposite side so Harry couldn't see it but he imagined it would contain some Egyptian mummies or something like it.

The twins bounced joyously over to the box and pulled out their own brightly colored ornament. While everyone else had their own color, the twins were each decorated rainbow-style. Harry could see a Bludger on Fred's and a Beater's bat on George's; otherwise they were remarkably similar.

Ron and Ginny were last and Harry could see Moony and Tonks watching this whole tradition with as much interest as Harry. Ron's ornament was maroon and Harry couldn't hide his smile over _that_! He could make out some chess pieces and a broom along with a Chudley Cannon logo.

Ginny's had a large pink ribbon with a G encrusted on it. He could see her scowling at it as she hung it up. He could make out what looked like a storybook and a swing. For an instant he thought he saw a lightening bolt but knew he must be mistaken as she quickly hung her ornament on the tree. He'd have to take a closer look at all of them later.

There was one ornament left in the box and Mrs. Weasley lifted it with trembling hands. She glanced mournfully at Mr. Weasley as he took her hand in his and they both hung Percy's ornament on the tree. None of the other's said a word, although Harry could see Ron's ears reddening while the other's merely scowled.

Mrs. Weasley had tears in her eyes when she turned around and looked into the faces of her children. "He will always be your brother and his ornament will remain on our tree."

She lifted up a second box, "Now, I have some new ones to add." She opened the lid and handed Remus, Tonks, Alastor, and finally Harry their own ornament. Harry was stunned and felt a lump form in his throat as he looked at the green orb in his hand. Charmed with painted pictures of a Snitch, his Firebolt, and a pair or round glasses. He was most stunned by the blue ribbon with the letter "H" in the center, just like the other Weasley children. Looking closely at Molly and Arthur's ornaments hung on the tree, he could see each had the pink ribbon for Ginny and seven, not six, blue ribbons. Harry's initialed bow had been added to their ornaments as well.

He looked up in wonder at Mr. and Mrs. Weasley as they each put a hand on his shoulders while he hung his ornament on the tree. "Thank you," he said quietly and Mr. Weasley squeezed his shoulder.

As he was staring at his new gift, he realized it was ticking slightly and he listened closely.

"That's your wake-up call," George said in amusement.

"Yeah," added Fred, "for finally noticing our sister. From what I witnessed a few minutes ago, you've definitely noticed her all right!"

Harry colored brightly as Mrs. Weasley frowned at Fred, "That's enough you!"

He looked over the glimmering tree; it really was beautiful and much nicer than the one Aunt Petunia used to use. He was amused to note that Tonk's new ornament changed color every few minutes.

As they headed up the stairs to go to bed, Harry thought this had turned into a really good Christmas after all.

**********

Harry awoke with a gasp and sat up quickly grasping the covers with him and violently shaking his head as he looked about the room. Ron was asleep, snoring heavily; the portrait of Phineas Nigellus remained empty. _It was just a dream_. He'd dreamt of Voldemort and smashing glass ornaments killing the Weasleys, but the details were beginning to fade. His scar wasn't burning so he took several deep breaths trying to calm himself. In truth, his scar had been flaring up rather painfully off and on since he arrived at Grimmauld Place so he was surprised it was calm now.

Getting up and padding across the room, he opened the door as silently as possible. He was going to head down to the kitchen and get a glass of water. As he went to pass Ginny's door, however, he stopped sharply. He thought he heard a whimper. He pressed his ear to the cold wood of the door and heard it again.

Opening the door hesitantly, he could just make out Ginny in the pale moonlight. She was wrapped tightly in her covers as she tossed and turned, crying out in her sleep. Quickly moving to the edge of her bed, Harry sat down and began stroking the hair to the side of her face.

"Shh, wake up Ginny. Everything is okay," he whispered.

Ginny continued to toss, moaning out the word, "Nooo. Please, don't make me!"

He was unsure what to do and felt a slight panic at the situation. He wasn't any good at giving comfort. Still, she had done this often enough for him and he couldn't leave her this way. _What did she always do for him?_ He grabbed her shoulder and began to shake her gently, "Wake up Ginny."

When she continued to thrash, he shook her more forcibly, "Come on Gin, it's okay. You're dreaming."

Ginny opened her eyes with a start and looked around wildly. "It's okay, just a dream," Harry whispered as he continued to stroke her silky hair. He could feel her body trembling as he gathered her in his arms.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded and grasped him tightly. "Just a dream."

Harry nodded in understanding, remembering that she had told him she still had nightmares on occasion. "Me too," he said, trying to make her feel better.

Ginny scooted over and made room for him next to her. He lay back and pulled her back into his embrace. She was warm from sleep and seemed to fit against him perfectly. Ginny snuggled in closely and pressed her nose to his cheek, "This is the nicest way I've ever woken up from a nightmare before."

Harry grinned, pulling her tight and closing his eyes as he took a deep breath against the flowery smell of her hair, "This isn't so bad at all."

Ginny began trailing kisses against his cheek and down his jaw line. He groaned as she reached his neck and felt his own passion stirring. Ginny continued moving her mouth across his exposed chest then back up to meet his eager lips.

"You're driving me crazy," he moaned as he hungrily returned her kisses. He wasn't exactly sure what to make of the feeling washing over him and he really didn't want to think about it. He didn't want to think at all, just keep kissing her and never stop. It seemed that the rest of the world had melted away and he was no longer in control of his own thoughts. The only thing he was aware of was Ginny and the way her kisses felt. He wasn't sure how long they lay there like that, lost in each other and immune from the world around them. 

Ginny finally pushed him back, panting slightly, "You make it so I can't think straight anymore."

Harry nodded mutely, catching his breath. He knew what she meant; he felt the same way. It was similar to the out-of-control feeling the Fire Whiskey had left him withbut without the unpleasant side effects. Now that they had stopped and some sense of reality was coming back over him, he knew that he wasn't quite ready for any more and neither was she. He kissed the top of her head and snuggled close, willing his body to settle down.

Ginny happily wrapped her arms around his waist, "Happy Christmas luv."

Harry's eyes flew open wide, _luv_? Aside from Mrs. Weasleys "dears," no one had ever used a term of endearment when speaking with him before. Not unless you could count "freak" from the Dursleys? A warm feeling filled him, it was kind of nice.

"Happy Christmas Ginny," he couldn't quite bring himself to say it back. Somehow it was a little too close to telling her he loved her and he really wasn't sure what that even meant. _How did one know what love felt like?_ He knew he couldn't bear to lose Ron or Hermione. Thinking this way, he could add Ginny to that list. Losing her would be something he wouldn't be able to handle. Still, _normal_ people didn't go around expecting the people they cared about to be killed every day. That couldn't be the way to know if you loved someone.

He didn't mind Ginny calling him "luv," he thought he'd like that. He'd need to come up with a suitable term for her, one that wouldn't make him uncomfortable to use it. Exactly when it was she had become important to him, he didn't know. Somewhere along the line it had happened, that was for sure. It was different than how he felt about Ron and Hermione too. The thing he loved about them was that they didn't make him feel special at all, just one of them. Ginny made him feel special, just for being him. It was almost like the way he felt when he was flying. When he was with her, he was happy just to _be_. The rest of it went away for a while.

There was the crux of it! Ginny didn't know about the Prophecy and he was going to have to tell her. It wasn't fair to let her get involved with him without knowing the full truth of how dangerous that was going to be. Ron and Hermione too, deserved some answers. He should have known that day in Diagon Ally when none of them portkeyed away to safety because they wouldn't leave him. They needed to know and fully understand what they were getting themselves into by being close to him. He had to tell them what his future must hold; it could be their decision whether or not to stick around.

The idea of losing any of them filled him with such despair, but he owed them all that choice. He had to tell them, even if telling them meant losing them. For now, for this Christmas break, he was going to enjoy himself and spend time enjoying their company. Hopefully getting to snog Ginny some more because he really liked that! Then he would tell them all the truth. With that thought, he slowly drifted off to sleep.

Ginny listened as Harry's breathing took on a deep, even rhythm. She knew she couldn't let him stay in here, her family would have a fit, but it was pleasant for now. She stared fondly at his sleeping face, dimly lit by the moonlight seeping in through the window.

She sat there for a while, just watching him sleep. She felt oddly touched that he trusted her enough to fall asleep with her. He was an amazingly silent sleeper when he wasn't dreaming. Ginny was used to a house full of brothers who snored loudly enough to raise the ceiling. Harry didn't make a sound; she had to lean closely to see the gentle rise and fall of his chest to even be sure he was breathing.

He looked pale and his long dark lashes stood out drastically from the white of his skin. Ginny studied his eyelashes intently. Most witches, her included, would kill for eyelashes like that! Why were they wasted on a guy? She smiled appreciatively, they weren't wasted really. He had such exquisite features, from the long lashes, to his vibrant eyes, to the impossibly messy raven hair that she could spot across a crowded Quidditch pitch. Most appealing of all was the fact he had absolutely no idea how attractive he was. Attractive to her anyway.

She knew she'd startled him when she called him luv, it just slipped out. He didn't say anything, but he didn't run either. Looking at him now, she could see the faint trace of a smile on his handsome face. Maybe it hadn't been such a bad thing after all? She did love him, but she wasn't foolish enough to admit that to him yet! She'd finally just got his attention! When she said it, it truly was just out of fondness but maybe it was an unconscious slip? Ginny decided she'd worry about that later and snuggled up close, dozing a little but really just enjoying his presence. 

She woke around dawn and smiled lazily as she felt him pressed against her back in a classic spoon position. She rolled over and gently nuzzled his face.

"Wake up Harry," she whispered. "You have to go back to your own room before Ron wakes up."

He didn't move but instead pulled a face as if irritated. Ginny smiled with affection and gently kissed his nose, "Okay then, we'll just wait for all six of my brothers to find you here."

He lay still for a moment before a reluctant smile grew across his face, "I'm going, I'm going." His voice was cracked and dry. "Happy Christmas."

Ginny stretched languidly and pulled the covers back around her, "Happy Christmas Harry, I'll see you in a little while."

He smiled, kissed her once more and quietly crept back into the room he shared with Ron. He again stepped around the stack of presents at the foot of his bed and climbed in. As he lay there staring at the brightly wrapped packages, he couldn't help but think he'd already received the gift he'd always wanted most of all.

He woke a few hours later as he heard Ron begin to stir. He fumbled for his glasses and sat up in bed. Ron blearily looked over at him, then perked up almost instantaneously, "Presents!"

Harry smiled at Ron's enthusiasm, some things hadn't changed since first year at all. He watched as Ron opened the dragon hide Quidditch pads that he'd bought for him.

"Wow Harry, these are wicked!"

Harry looked around at the sizeable stack of presents this year and thought other things had changed drastically. He opened his Weasley jumper, it was Gryffindor red with a golden snitch on the front. He put it right on over his pajamas.

He noticed a present from Ginny and opened it eagerly. It was a small, handmade photo album colored green with the picture of the four of them at the Yule Ball already inside. She had written a small note inside:

__

Harry

A new album for some new memories.

Love, Ginny

He smiled and put the album on top of his nightstand. He'd given Ginny a small silver bracelet with a butterfly charm hanging from it. They'd seen it that day in Hogsmeade and Ginny had been very taken with it. He quietly purchased it while she was trying on Robes. He was anxious to see if she liked it. 

Remus gave him his own Golden Snitch and as he played with it he remembered his father doing the same thing. Somehow, it didn't bother him this time. There were chocolates from Ron, a book on Teaching Defensive Spells from Hermione, and a scary box that rumbled full of joke shop test items from the twins. Harry put that to the side carefully. Bill gave both he and Ron a small replica of an Egyptian mummy that would walk across the table when the proper spell was cast. Ron and Harry quickly discovered that the two mummies would fight if placed near each other and spent some time cheering on their own figure. From Charlie was a pair of dragon hide gloves that Harry liked very much and from Tonks a new watch. Harry strapped it on his wrist right away.

He was setting the time on his new watch when he noticed Ron staring at him intently. "What?" he asked his friend.

"How did you sleep?"

__

Oh oh, did Ron notice he was gone part of the night? "Okay, you?"

Ron seemed hesitant, but determined to get something out. "Over the summer, I know Ginny came in here a lot when you had nightmares."

Harry's cheeks reddened but he fought to school his features, "Yeah?"

"Well, she just can't do that anymore!"

"My dreams really haven't been so bad lately."

"No!" he could see Ron's frustration. "I'm glad she helped, it's justyou weren't dating her then. Now she can't be in your bed."

Harry couldn't help the amused grin that spread across his face, "You mean it's okay if she's in my bed as long as we're not dating?"

"Right!" Ron answered quickly, then seemed to realize what he's just said. "No! Bloody hell, that's not what I meant! Sod off, Harry! It's just different now!"

Harry laughed outright, "You're such a hypocrite!"

"Bollocks! I don't mind you dating my sister, it's something I always hoped for anyway. But I don't want you sleeping with her! If you hurt her, I'm going to have to hurt you and I don't want to have to do that."

Harry knew Ron was being serious in his own way and felt he deserved some respect. "I won't ever hurt her intentionally Ron, you have my word on that. And since Hermione is the closest thing I've ever had to a sister, I'd like to make you the same promise."

Ron grinned, "I think she'd like that. Fair enough, I promise I won't hurt her."

"Anything else?" Harry asked.

"Well, I really don't want to watch you snogging her either."

Harry laughed, "Then don't look! I've spent the past several months averting my eyes from the two of you, it can be your turn for a while!"

As they gathered in the kitchen preparing to floo to the Burrow, they all put on their cloaks so they could spend some time outside. Mrs. Weasley was wrapping a pretty silk scarf over her head that Harry had given her. He'd seen Aunt Petunia fuss and fawn over such a thing and thought she might like it. He'd given Mr. Weasley a set of Muggle hand tools that he had to be forcibly dragged away from him. Harry didn't know who he should buy presents for so he'd just bought something for everyone. Mrs. Weasley scolded him for the money spent, but it truly meant nothing to Harry and he enjoyed seeing their expressions.

Remus and Tonks would be joining them later, planning on first spending some time with Tonks family. Harry was happy to see things seemed to be working out for Remus. The Grangers would be meeting them at the Burrow.

One by one they entered the green flames and called out for the Burrow. Harry still hated the spinning nausea of travelling by floo and he stumbled as he exited into the kitchen of the only true home he'd ever know. Fortunately, Ron was well aware of Harry's trouble with floo travel and was there to catch him before he fell, grinning widely. 

"I still can't believe you can take on a Hungarian Horntail but can't stay on your feet during a bit of floo travel!"

Harry shrugged, "I'd much prefer coming here by broom!"

"You'd freeze out there today!" Ginny smiled, finding Harry's clumsiness endearing. He was pleased to notice she was wearing her bracelet and it glittered in the candlelight.

He took a look around the kitchen as a warm feeling washed over him. He'd always loved it here and it had been too long since he was able to visit. All the Weasleys seemed to be lost in their own fond memories as they looked around their home. Aside from a layer of dust, nothing much had changed and it appeared exactly how Harry remembered it.

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley must have spent a considerable amount of time planning this dinner for the house was well decorated. Harry had never spent Christmas at the Burrow and was amused to find all the hand-made decorations all the Weasleys had made as children. Briefly he felt that familiar stab of jealousy for the childhood they'd shared. His eyes came to rest on his favorite part of the Weasley house, the family clock. It still fascinated Harry to see the hands with all the faces of the household members on them. They were now all pointed to HOME, except for one. Percy's hand remained on IN EXILE'.

Suddenly Harry noticed something that hadn't been there before and he walked closer to get a better look. He became aware of all the others standing stock-still and staring at him. His mouth dropped open in astonishment as he realized another hand had been added to the clock, one with his own face upon it. He wheeled around to face Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, both had tears in their eyes.

"Happy Christmas Harry," Mrs. Weasley said gently. "I told you already that you'll always be a Weasley."

Harry suddenly found it hard to see through his blurred vision. Distractedly he heard a cheer go up among the Weasley siblings but he felt like he had a bludger lodged in his throat and swallowed painfully. Mrs. Weasley wrapped him in one of her tight bear hugs and he buried his face in her neck, breathing deeply.

He allowed himself to stay that way for a few minutes until he could get his voice under control. He whispered to her, "How could you possibly have accused _me_ of going overboard this Christmas?"

"This isn't overboard Harry, this is what feels right," Mr. Weasley said, placing his hand on Harry's shoulder. "I hope it feels right for you too."

Harry didn't think he could trust his voice again and silently thanked whoever it was who watched over orphaned wizard boys for bringing these people into his life. Gradually, Ginny and her brothers made their way over to them, hugging him in turn or slapping him on the back.

Ginny slipped her hand in his and quietly asked him, "All right, Harry?"

He didn't answer but pulled her into a hug too. She seemed to understand his need for contact and just held him until he pulled back.

They were interrupted by the sound of a car in the drive. "That would be Hermione!" Ron yelled, racing out the door. Harry followed him outside to greet Hermione and meet her parents. Ron yanked open the car door and nearly pulled Hermione off her feet in his exuberance.

Mr. and Mrs. Granger got out slowly, seeming to be eyeing Ron warily. Mrs. Weasley walked right over and began speaking with Hermione's parents while Mr. Weasley began to look at their car. Firmly grasping Arthur's arm within her own, Molly brought all the adults inside to get the dinner going. The rest of them stayed outside partaking in a huge snowball fight.

It was an all out battle that continued until Harry felt his scar burst with excruciating pain. He clenched his teeth to avoid yelling out as he dropped to the ground, panting. There was no vision to accompany the pain, but Harry was sure that somewhere, Voldemort was punishing someone.

"Are you all right?" Ginny asked as she and Ron helped him to his feet. Harry nodded shakily. 

"Stop!" Ron screamed at the twins who were still launching snowballs at them. By this point, Bill and Charlie realized something was wrong and came running over. Harry was leaning on Ron as they began making their way toward the house.

Once inside, they were immediately aware that something obviously wasn't right, the house was so full of tension you could almost cut it with a knife. Mrs. Weasley insisted they were going to have a nice holiday dinner before they talked about whatever was going on. Harry tried to calm his nerves, but his senses were in overdrive and sitting still was painful.

He was stunned a moment later by the arrival of a small group, obviously using a Portkey. He sat in his seat slack jawed starting at Remus Lupin, who was standing in the Weasley kitchen with all three of the Dursleys. Harry's two worlds had just violently collided.

A/N: I know it's been done many times before, but the hand on the Weasley clock just feels right to me! So, apologies for the cliché, butthat's just the way I think it should be! Thank you SO much to all the loyal reviewers! I really appreciate all the support. You guys have been wonderful right from the start when I FINALLY got up the nerve to post this thing!

Ok, last chapter I made James a Chaser and I got several reviews saying that he was a Seeker. Although he was definitely a Seeker in the movie, canon has never said which position he played. In a Scholastic Interview done 10/16/2000 JKR said he was a Chaser, and I took it from there.


	25. Attack

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Twenty-five

Attack

Harry sat in his seat next to Ginny at the extended Weasley dinner table staring in numb disbelief at the sight before him. He shook his head to clear it, surely this was a joke? Maybe after everything that had happened he'd finally lost his mind. After blinking several times with nothing changing, he realized he was seeing things correctly: the Dursleys were standing in the kitchen of the Burrow. If he'd been a gambler, this was something he would have bet would never happen.

They looked remarkably out of place in the warm, rag tag Weasley kitchen, so different from the sparkling, gleaming white of the kitchen on Privet Drive. Uncle Vernon's face was purple with rage and he was panting heavily, obviously he'd been yelling. Aunt Petunia was pale and her forehead crinkled with displeasure. She was looking around the kitchen in distaste and Harry desperately hoped she wouldn't be insulting to the Weasleys. Dudley was cowering behind both parents, his hands trying unsuccessfully to shield his overly large backside All of the assembled guests in the Weasley kitchen stared warily at each other for several moments in silence.

Finally, Harry rose to his feet slowly, dread washing over him in waves. As he trudged up to meet his relatives, he strongly wished to be anywhere else. He felt as if he were walking up to his own execution. Whatever had happened, the Dursleys were obviously not going to be happy and he would have given anything for the people in this room not to witness the coming encounter.

"Aunt Petunia," he began hesitantly but was interrupted by a shriek from his aunt as the fireplace sparked with green flames. An instant later Professor Dumbledore's face appeared there. Dudley let out a shriek of his own as Vernon tried to shield both his wife and son behind him. Mr. Weasley walked toward them, trying to calm them but it only seemed to panic them further and they backed away towards the door.

Aunt Petunia was starting into the fireplace. "You," she hissed, pointing a shaky finger towards Dumbledore. Harry stared at the two curiously.

"Hello Petunia," Dumbledore calmly responded. "I am happy to see you have arrived safely."

"What's going on, sir?" Harry asked, unable to contain his curiosity any longer.

Dumbledore sighed heavily, "Voldemort has launched a number of attacks today, I am afraid. Including one at Privet Drive. There are Ministry people there now administering memory charms. They never managed to get inside, obviously their confidence in their curse breaker was overrated. The damage to the house was rather extensive however, and is being repaired as we speak. I am also arranging for some additional protective wards to be put in place. For the moment, we thought it prudent to remove your relatives from the site." The aged Headmaster turned towards Bill who was still seated at the table. "Bill, I am going to ask that you head over to Privet Drive now and see that the wards we discussed are being activated."

"Of course," Bill replied, kissing his mother on the cheek and Disapparating with a "pop." All three of the Dursleys shrieked as he vanished.

"Why don't we just set some extra plates for dinner then?" Mrs. Weasley smiled, trying to bring calmness and order to the situation, although Harry could tell she was nervous. He knew she wasn't fond of the Dursleys, but he was incredibly grateful to her for making an effort for his sake.

"We won't be eating anything here," Vernon replied rudely. "I demand you use thatthat thing and send us back home immediately!" He was gesturing furiously at the cup in Remus' hand that had been used as a Portkey.

"We shall return you as soon as we are certain of your safety. Surely you do not want any harm to come to your family," Dumbledore continued firmly, yet gently. "I shall call again as soon as it is safe for you to return." With that, he was gone and the fireplace was empty again.

Harry could see that Uncle Vernon was close to exploding and he was beginning to panic. He had to separate them from the others before the situation got out of hand. He really didn't want any of his friends to witness this. Uncle Vernon frequently lost his temper, but this was going to be a bad one and he'd prefer it to be in private.

"Let me take you out into the sitting room while everyone finishes their dinner," Harry said, pointing his finger in the direction he wanted them to go.

Uncle Vernon whirled on him, "You! You God damned little freak! This is entirely your fault! Do you have any idea what they did to my house?"

"Wait just one minute—," Mr. Weasley interrupted angrily but Uncle Vernon wasn't listening to anyone at this point.

He spun to face Petunia who flinched back from his wrath herself, "I told you all those years ago that we should never have brought it in the house, didn't I? Didn't I?"

He rounded back on Harry and began stalking towards him, "You've brought nothing but trouble since the day they left you on our doorstep and I've had enough!"

Harry knew what was coming as Uncle Vernon drew his hand back and swung with all his might towards Harry's head. He quickly ducked and moved to the side, drawing his wand on his Uncle. His hand shook as he held it there and he was intensely aware of all the eyes in the room staring at him in shock. _Could this have gotten any worse?_ Very quietly he said to his Uncle, "This isn't summer break and I'm perfectly capable of using this. Keep your hands to yourself and let's go in here so we can talk about it."

Harry was beyond embarrassed that they had all witnessed that and he refused to meet anyone's gaze. Out of the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of Mr. Weasley holding Mrs. Weasley in her chair. The look of fury on her face was intense enough to melt an iceberg. He followed the Dursleys into the sitting room, aware of their fearful eyes on his wand. Remus followed them in and he turned to face him. Still keeping his eyes on the floor, he said, "Let me just talk to them a minute. It would be better if we keep them separated while they're here."

Remus put his fingers on Harry's chin and forced him to raise his head until they were staring at one another. Harry kept trying to avert his eyes but Remus remained quiet until he looked at him. There was an odd, very sad look on his face that Harry couldn't read. He knew how to handle the Dursleys, he'd been doing it for years, but he didn't want Moony to watch and wished he'd just leave the room. 

"I'm not going anywhere," he stated firmly, seeming to read Harry's mind.

He could see that arguing would do him no good and he wanted this over with as quickly as possible. Turning around to face the Dursleys he said, "I'm very sorry about the damage to the house, but it'll be taken care of. I promise you, when you go home, you won't even notice any difference."

"Freaks in robes with silly Halloween masks all over the lawn" Uncle Vernon was mumbling under his breath. Dudley looked ready to faint while Aunt Petunia was scowling at Harry with a look of utter loathing on her face.

"I promise you won't have to stay here any longer than necessary. They'll get you home as soon as Professor Dumbledore gives the all clear. This isn't the Weasleys fault—"

"No, it's _your_ fault!" Uncle Vernon raged.

"This isn't the Weasleys fault," Harry continued as if he was never interrupted, "so please don't take it out on them. You don't have to eat with them, but please just be civil. It's Christmas."

"And look what you've done to it!" Aunt Petunia snapped.

"This isn't Harry's fault either," Remus said mildly, looking right at Petunia. "We'll all try to make the best of the situation and keep our hands to ourselves." He said this last part while glaring at Uncle Vernon so fiercely Harry saw his uncle raise his eyes in alarm.

"You were a friend of _hers_, weren't you?" Aunt Petunia suddenly asked Remus.

"Do you mean your sister?"

"My sister was dead to me long before she got herself blown up!" Aunt Petunia screeched and the silence that descended in the other room made Harry cringe. He wished he could crawl in a hole and hide. _Why oh why did they have to witness this?_

Remus' face had paled considerably and his jaw set in anger, "I see."

"You see nothing! It was all long ago and no longer important. What's important is the way you people keep interfering in our lives. I want you all to just stay away!"

Harry put a restraining hand on Remus' arm. "Yes Aunt Petunia," he said quietly. "Just have a seat and we'll see how it's going." He wanted to separate his aunt and Remus before anything else was said. He was horrified to see Mrs. Granger entering the room. She walked with Hermione's purposeful stride and took a seat with the Dursleys.

"Hello, I'm Jane Granger. My daughter goes to school with your nephew. My husband and I are dentists, we have a practice in Cardiff, and were just as shocked as you must have been to discover this whole world of magic."

Harry thought Uncle Vernon was going to leap out of his seat upon hearing the M-word but Mrs. Granger seemed to calm them. She was dressed sophisticatedly and had an heir of affluence about her that the Dursleys were sure to be drawn to. He could already see Aunt Petunia sitting up more primly and adjusting her skirt as Uncle Vernon puffed out his chest. When Mr. Granger entered, he actually stood and shook hands. Harry let out a deep sigh of relief, silently thanking Hermione for being Muggle born. "I'd like you to meet my husband, Herman," Mrs. Granger said graciously.

Remus leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Why don't we leave the Muggles to talk and go and have our dinner?"

The reality of the situation rose up and bit Harry on the arse. He really didn't want to face the Weasleys right now but he couldn't think of a good excuse to get around it. Once again Remus forced him to raise his head, "Harry, you have nothing to feel ashamed over. Your uncle's behavior is not your fault."

Harry swallowed but didn't answer as Remus guided him back into the kitchen. He pulled back but was stopped by Remus' chest as all eyes turned to them upon entering. Remus ran his hand up and down Harry's arm in reassurance and moved him forward. He flinched as his scar burned painfully but managed to avoid crying out as he made his way back towards his empty chair. The others were having pudding now but his dinner remained where he'd left it. Ginny smiled at him as he sat and he saw the concern in her eyes. He braced himself, waiting for the questions to start but she just leaned over and said, "We put a warming charm on your plate so it wouldn't get cold."

Harry didn't think he'd ever been more grateful to her for anything in his life than he was right then for holding her silence. "Thanks," he muttered, allowing his teeth to unclench. He really wasn't hungry anymore but instead picked up his fork and pushed the food around on his plate.

"This looks delicious, Molly!" Remus said, seating himself in front of his own warmed plate. "I had to leave Tonk's family in a hurry when I got the call and never got to eat my dinner!"

Harry kept his gaze on his plate, he knew if he caught Hermione's eyes she'd be just bursting with questions. He hoped Dumbledore would appear back in the fireplace before the Dursleys had to stay here too long. There was no way either the Dursleys or the Weasleys could keep this up for long.

As if on queue, Uncle Vernon bellowed from the other room, "Boy!"

Harry got up quickly and made his way there before he could yell anything else. Dudley was standing next to his father with a panicked look on his face. "Yes, Uncle Vernon?" Harry asked.

"Show Dudley where the restroom is. I assume you people use restrooms?" he barked and turned his back on both boys as he returned to Mr. Granger. Uncle Vernon never even registered the appalled look on the other man's face.

Harry resisted the urge to snap back, he wanted things quick and quiet, he kept repeating to himself in his head. "Follow me," he said to Dudley, clenching his fists.

Dudley waddled behind him trying to keep his rear out of view from any of the other houseguests. There was a bathroom directly off from the kitchen so Harry sent him in there and returned to his seat to wearily play with his food.

"Are you all right, Harry dear?" Mrs. Weasley asked kindly. Her face was red and he knew from experience that she was close to losing her temper. He saw Remus send her a warning glare but ignored both of them.

"I'm fine, Mrs. Weasley, I'm just not very hungry."

Ginny reached beneath the table and grasped Harry's hand in her own, gently squeezing his fingers.

The bathroom door opened and Dudley stepped out, freezing in place as all eyes turned his way. Harry braced himself for what was coming but Dudley didn't say anything, he just stood there staring at all the sweets scattered across the table. Harry had to hide his grin, he could easily make out Dudley's internal struggle over whether his desire of the pudding was stronger than his fear of the Wizards at the table.

Mrs. Weasley noticed his roving eye and asked coolly, "Would you like some pudding, Dudley?"

Dudley nodded and cautiously made his way over to the table. He sat down on the other side of Harry where Mr. Granger had been. Harry watched him look at the others in the room cautiously, his gaze lingering on Ginny and her hand clasped within Harry's.

Mrs. Weasley brought over a plate filled with a variety of samplings and placed it in front of Dudley. "There you are Dudley. I'm not sure what your favorites are."

Dudley picked up a fork, than stopped mid way to the plate, his eyes fixed in horror on the twins, both of whom were smirking back at him. Fred gave him a tiny, almost imperceptible mock salute.

Harry's mind flashed back to the Ton Tongue Toffy incident with pleasure and he had to cover a laugh. "It's fine, Dudley. They had nothing to do with making dinner," Harry assured his cousin. Maybe if Dudley could just relax a minute, he'd see they were really no different and could be a lot of fun_. And maybe Voldemort would send him a Christmas present!_

"And they won't be doing anything to any of the food on this table today," Mrs. Weasley said, glaring at her sons.

Dudley began slowly, but soon warmed to the taste and began shoveling a bit of everything he could find into his mouth. In between bites, he looked over at Harry and asked, "So what did you do now?"

Harry looked over at Dudley, the question was fair enough, he supposed they did deserve some answers. Harry was about to reply when Ron stood up, "Hey! He didn't do anything, this isn't his fault!"

Dudley looked over at Ron calculatingly, "It's always his fault. This is the second house he's lived in he's got blown up. Fortunately none of us died this time. Why were they at the house when you weren't even there?"

"I suppose they thought I went back for Christmas," Harry said quietly, before Ron exploded again. He could see the frozen expressions on the others, stunned by the words coming from Dudley's mouth.

"You're never there at Christmas! Dad thinks you're going to get us all killed too, he's not going to let you come back."

Harry flinched before taking a deep breath, he only wished it were that simple. They would be much safer without him, but he didn't think Dumbledore would see it that way. Ron had stood up again and was rounding on Dudley menacingly, "I told you it isn't his fault! He's the one they're after, in case you hadn't noticed!"

"Oh I noticed all right," Dudley yelled back. "I noticed when those Dementoid things came after _me_ just because he was with me!"

Harry guessed Dudley's bout of courage came from seeing Ron as another kid, not a Wizard. That and the pudding. "Ron, it's a fight you can't win. Let it go," Harry said quietly. He didn't count on Ginny, Hermione, Fred and George all picking up where Ron left off.

He heard each of twins loudly voicing their opinion, which exactly matched Ron's; Hermione was lecturing on the fact it was a Ministry official who was technically at fault; but it was Ginny's strong, angry voice he heard loudest of all. "If you noticed the Dementors than maybe you should have also paid attention properly to what happened after they arrived. If it weren't for Harry you wouldn't even be here right now! He saved your sorry arse and from what I've seen I couldn't blame him if he'd left you to them!"

Harry watched her in amusement. Her face was red with anger and she had her hands on her hips as she stood in front of Dudley. She was petite but seemed to grow ten feet in her fury and she had never reminded Harry more of Mrs. Weasley than she did at that moment. Dudley seemed to lose a lot of his swagger by being outnumbered and he shrunk back as Uncle Vernon came storming into the kitchen to see what was the matter. Aunt Petunia and the Grangers followed closely on his heels.

Dudley jumped up and ran behind his father, "Dad, Harry made them attack me!"

This had been one of Dudley's more common methods of getting Harry in trouble when they were children and he rolled his eyes in exasperation. Despite the fact he wanted nothing more than to get the Dursleys out of here and away from the Weasleys, he'd had enough. This day just couldn't get any worse.

"No one is attacking you Dudders, just a disagreement is all," he said calmly.

Vernon had been looking for an excuse all along. "I will not take any more of this! Petunia, we're leaving, let's go!" He stalked towards the door and opened it forcibly. Petunia and Dudley followed him meekly as Harry sighed in resignation. Mr. Weasley jumped up and was about to follow when Harry grabbed his arm, "Let me do it Mr. Weasley, they won't listen to you."

He seemed about to protest when Harry turned to face them all, looking into their eyes for the first time since the Dursleys arrival. "Look, I know you're all trying to help, and I can't even begin to express how grateful I am; but I really do know the best way to handle them. Just let me, okay?"

He turned and walked out the door, seeing the three figures of the Dursleys marching towards the road. He had to grin; they'd never be able to handle the walk into town! In all the time he'd been living with them, he'd never seen them walk further than out to the car in the drive. He should just let them go and bring them back after they'd sat down in the road waiting to be rescued.

"Aunt Petunia, wait!" he called. He easily caught up with them despite the fact they'd kept walking, but froze in horror as multiple popping sounds suddenly filled the air. Aunt Petunia shrieked as the black robed and masked Death Eaters turned towards them. Harry counted seven as he drew his wand. The first Death Eater blasted a slicing curse at them, "_Abscindo_!" while the others ran towards the house.

It happened in the blink of an eye as Harry was still struggling to process what was going on. The curse hit Aunt Petunia across her chest and neck, slicing deep and splaying droplets of blood across Harry's face and shirt. She crumpled to the ground whimpering as Harry fired a "_Stupefy_," at the offending Death Eater. Uncle Vernon was staring in horror at Aunt Petunia while Dudley made a mad dash to get away. Harry barely had time to think but he could hear the Death Eaters laughing about "Muggle sport" as the other members of the house came running out brandishing their wands.

"Harry, duck!" he heard Ginny's voice yell and he quickly obeyed as she fired a curse over his head towards the Death Eater who was coming up behind him. He quickly raised one of the defensive shields Tonks had taught him around himself. Ginny reached him, staring in horror at his blood-covered chest and face. "Are you okay?" she questioned tentatively, her eyes moving over him rapidly, unable to find the wound.

"It's not mine," he replied curtly. "You cover my back, I'll cover yours. We've got to get back inside so you can floo out of here."

"So _we_ can floo out of here Harry! It's you they'll be after once the idiots catch on to the fact you're here!"

She was right, Harry hadn't really registered it but none of the Death Eaters had called him by name or took any more notice of him than anyone else! He decided now was as good a time as any to try those Legilimency skills to see if he could learn anything. He and Ginny stood back to back, wands at the ready. He tried to close his mind off to the sounds echoing around him and just concentrate on what was in his head.

His senses seemed to kick into overdrive as bits of thoughts, and more acutely, feelings, assaulted him from all sides. _Fear. Anger. Hate. Fun, someone was enjoying this!_ The thoughts and feelings were intense and too jumbled for him to make any sense of where they were coming from. Harry felt light headed and nauseous and he stumbled against Ginny, using her back to support some of his weight.

"Are you okay?" she demanded, firing off another curse as she guarded his back. Harry replied affirmatively and decided this wasn't the place to test the Legilimency. Even if he learned something, he'd never be able to tell where it came from and he couldn't afford to pass out now.

"Ginny, your mum needs some help!" Harry cried, seeing Mrs. Weasley trying to defend the Grangers who were obviously terrified and unsure what to do. Harry covered Ginny as she made her way back over to her mother's side. He silently prayed Mrs. Weasley would force her into the floo and back to Grimmauld Place. He had no doubt in his mind Ginny could handle herself and was good in a fight, but he also couldn't help the desire to see her safely away. Not sure if he could do it, he tried to extend his own shield to cover her until she reached her mother. He could detect a faint blue glow around her and hoped he'd succeeded.

Mr. Weasley had made it over to Uncle Vernon and Dudley and was trying to cover them as best he could. Both were panicking and trying to get away. Harry grabbed Aunt Petunia under the arms and dragged her over towards the shed, trying to find some cover. He suddenly felt very guilty for wanting her gone from here so badly just a few minutes before. He looked up as he heard a cry and saw Hermione leaning over her collapsed father. She was crying and Ron was doing his best to shield both of them. It was chaos.

Remus had sprinted across the yard, dodging curses as he ran to get to Harry. Before he could speak, an explosion burst from the kitchen and green flames immediately erupted from the windows of the Burrow. There went their floo escape! One of the Death Eaters had shouted, "_Morsmordre_," and the Dark Mark was now rising above the Burrow. Harry suspected the intent was to cause damage and whoever fired it got lucky by blocking their escape in the process. He felt sick at seeing the nauseating image of the skull rising above a place he'd always thought of as a real home_. Someone was going to pay for this!_

He noticed Charlie Disapparate away and assumed he was going for help. Remus was tending to Aunt Petunia as the Death Eater whom Harry had stunned regained consciousness and moved in from behind. Calling on all his Martial Arts training, Harry delivered a roundhouse kick to the man's midsection, doubling him over. He proceeded to vent some of his rage and frustration, delivering blow after blow until the man dropped to the ground. "_Stupefy_," Harry snarled, knocking him out again.

Suddenly, a voice Harry recognized although he hadn't heard it in nearly two years sounded, "Potter's here! You have your orders, forget the Muggles!"

A black rage rose in Harry's heart. It wasn't right that _he_ should still be alive, that _he_ should be here at all. "Wormtail," he spat.

The balding little man seemed to lack his former meekness and he smiled cruelly at Harry, "We meet again. The Dark Lord wishes to speak with you."

"Hello Peter," Remus said standing. His voice was calm but Harry noticed the way his jaw was clenched and his wand was held at the ready. Despite the chaos of battle around them, to Harry it seemed eerily quiet as these two former friends faced off. Neither said a word, but quietly circled each other as they looked each other up and down. 

A loud rumbling filled the air and the ground shook beneath them. Some of the walls on the Burrow were coming down and great flames soared up towards the sky. Harry had to turn his face from the intense heat. It was at this moment of uncertainty that Peter sprang towards Remus, wrapping his hand around his old friend's throat. Remus grabbed Wormtail's arm with both hands and tried to pry it off when his body suddenly went rigid and he appeared to be choking. Wormtail let go as Remus staggered several paces before falling to the ground, his body curling up in intense pain. Wormtail leaned over him and wrapped his hand around Remus' throat once again.

Harry stared in confusion, uncertain what was happening until an image of the graveyard in Little Hangleton flashed before his eyes. Voldemort had replaced the hand Wormtail had cut off with a silver one. The way to kill a werewolf was with silver

"Nooooo," Harry screamed, launching himself at Wormtail and dragging him off Remus' body. A rage like he had never known exploded in Harry. This _man_ was responsible for Harry losing every important parental figure in his life; he wouldn't take Remus too! For the first time in his life, Harry thought he felt enough hatred to kill.

Wormtail grabbed onto Harry's wrist and went to reach for something from inside his robes. Harry knew he couldn't allow himself to be taken and once again used his Martial Arts skills to raise his body off the ground and kick out at Wormtail, who was forced to release his wrist before the Portkey carried him away.

Other members of the Order were Apparating in and seeing they were outnumbered, the remaining Death Eaters Disapparated away. A final, brilliant explosion of sickly green rocked the ground as the Burrow collapsed in on itself, sending soot and debris flying into the air all around them. Harry felt a sharp thump of pain on the back of his head, and then he knew no more.

A/N: Ducks any flames that might be coming my way! Sorry for the evil cliffy, butending it worked here!

I got a few questions asking if I was going to have Harry and Ginny go any further than snogging. The answer is no. There is one more heavy snogging session that I can think of that gets carried away, but as I remember sixteen, sometimes the hormones are more in control than the brain! Harry is sixteen, Ginny still fifteen; I'm not comfortable with them going any further than a good snog. I'm not comfortable with it in the Muggle world, and I think the Wizarding world is much more old fashioned. Remember that Harry and Ginny's relationship is still fairly new, they are in the "honeymoon phase" where they can't keep their hands off each other. They'll settle down eventually.

As for James being a Seeker or a Chaser, the editors at the Lexicon say that although James played with a Snitch in Book 5, it's easier to impress the girls with a Snitch than with a Quaffle! Until JKR comes out and states definitively, they're staying with her word that James was a Chaser.

Finally, my apologies to all my Fanfiction.net readers. I've always responded individually by email to reviews. The new set up here doesn't make that possible so a HUGE thank you to all of you for your wonderful support! If you'd still like an individual email, just include your addy in your review!


	26. Casualties of War

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Twenty-six

Casualties of War

Harry slowly returned to consciousness and scrunched his forehead, disoriented. He felt something heavy pressing down upon his back and his head pounded mercilessly. The acrid smell of smoke filled the air and he coughed, trying to clear his lungs of dust and dirt. He blearily opened his eyes but the air was so filled with dust he couldn't make out anything more than a few feet in any direction. His body ached and he lifted his arm to rub a sore spot on the back of his head, feeling a warm, sticky substance. He drew his hand back in surprise and looked at the bright red stains of blood on his fingertips.

Again becoming aware of the pressure on his back, he tried to sit up but found he couldn't move. He was pinned beneath something large and heavy; he tried to move it off unsuccessfully. He searched around frantically for his wand but couldn't see it. He thought he felt it poking into his chest and assumed it was trapped beneath him. _What was on top of him?_ He turned his head as far as it could go, craning his neck to see.

It appeared to be part of a wall from the Burrow. He was beginning to hear movement now, a faint rumbling of voices but he couldn't make out who they were. He thought he could hear someone crying. _What happened?_ He closed his eyes and concentrated for a moment as visions of the battle that had taken place filled his mind.

__

Moony! His mind envisioned Remus collapsing at Wormtail's feet again and again as all the air in his chest constricted. He began frantically struggling to release himself and nearly screamed in frustration when the wall wouldn't budge. Panic was overwhelming him. Remus had to be all right, he just had to be! Raising his hand, he bellowed, _"Wingardium Leviosa!"_ and the wall rose above him, freeing him to scramble out.

The moment he stood up, he fell crashing back down as sharp stabs of agony shot up his leg. He turned to inspect the damage and saw a crudely formed wooden stake imbedded in his left thigh. His trousers were heavily stained with blood surrounding the wound. _He didn't have time for this!_ Grabbing the stake, he gripped it tightly and yanked with all his might. He withdrew the stake with a sickening, squelching sound and screamed in pain as it was released.

Someone must have heard him for he heard footsteps approaching. He couldn't focus on anything but the intense pain in his leg as he tried to stop the heavy flow of blood with his hands. _He had to find Moony!_

"Harry!" Mr. Weasley's voice sighed as he dropped down next to him, looking at the gaping wound on Harry's leg. "Hold on son, let me see if I can at least tie this off." 

He removed the belt from around his waist and tied it above the wound, slowing down the flow of blood. Mr. Weasley was filthy and his head was bleeding slightly from a cut above his left eyebrow. He was tense and worked jerkily as he hurried to stop Harry's bleeding.

"Moony," Harry began but Mr. Weasley interrupted him.

"I haven't seen him yet, Harry. Your uncle and cousin are okay but I had to stun them to keep them quiet. I'm sorry, but there really wasn't an alternative."

"It's okay," Harry said. He couldn't believe he was here talking about stunning Uncle Vernon when Remus could be_No!_ He was fine! He had to be fine. This couldn't be happening again, Remus had to be okay. 

"Please Mr. Weasley, I've got to find Moony! He was fighting with Wormtail. He touched him with his silver hand!" Harry hated the desperate, pleading quality to his voice but he couldn't help that right now, he had to find him before it was too late.

Mr. Weasley's eyes widened in shock and concern as he looked around trying to see Remus through the thick, dusty air. He must have spotted something because his eyes squinted before he quickly stood up and bolted to a spot not far from where Harry was laying.

Using every ounce of will power he possessed, Harry raised himself to his feet and followed, dragging his leg behind him. It seemed to take him forever to reach the hunched over form of Mr. Weasley. It was only as he sank down beside him that he realized it wasn't Remus he was tending, but Aunt Petunia.

The tourniquet Remus had wrapped around her had slowed the flow of blood and Harry could make out a very slight rise and fall in her chest so he knew she was still alive. He found himself amazingly relieved by this. Mr. Weasley looked at him gravely, "We have to get her to St. Mungo's, but I think she'll be all right. Thank Merlin someone had the foresight to do this," he said, nodding towards the tourniquet.

"Moony," Harry whispered brokenly. Remus had saved Aunt Petunia_. He had to be all right!_

Mr. Weasley nodded and put a hand on Harry's shoulder, "Let me take your Aunt back over towards the house, then I'll help you search. The Order is here somewhere, I saw them arrive."

Harry nodded mutely and once again rose up on his protesting leg. He limped towards the direction he thought Remus had been before the explosion. The air was slowly beginning to clear but the smoke was still fairly thick. Trying to once again use his Legilimency skills, Harry opened his mind and reached out, not even sure what he was looking for.

__

Pain, intense pain. Harry stumbled and tried to walk in the direction the feelings were coming from. He kept the connection open for as long as he could until the nausea became too much and he retched. He quickly righted himself and moved toward what he could now make out was a person lying on the ground. It was Remus!

"Moony!" Harry cried, flinging himself down next to his fallen friend and ignoring the shooting pain in his leg as he did so. Remus was incredibly pale and Harry could distinguish burn marks in the shape of fingerprints around his neck.

He shook him gently but as he got no response, he began to shake him harder and harder. "Wake up Moony, don't you dare leave me now! You promised! You promised Sirius and I'm not letting you off that easily. Please wake up, don't you die on me!"

Harry knew he was close to tears but didn't care. He heard Remus emit a very faint but definite groan and to Harry, it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard. As Remus groaned again, Harry's tears did begin to fall, but they were mixed with laughter. "You're okay Moony, just hang on. We'll get you to St. Mungo's and you'll be okay!"

Remus' eyes opened tiredly and Harry could see they were full of pain. "Harry," he whispered.

"Shhh, you're okay Moony. The Order is here now, we'll get you some help."

"Are you all right?" Remus' voice was weak and Harry found it incredible that after everything that had happened to Remus, he was asking _him_ if he was all right?

"I'm fine Moony, it's you I'm worried about. Damned Wormtail got away!" Harry spat furiously.

Remus ignored him, "You're bleeding."

"Just some cuts," Harry answered, dismissing the concern. Remus' eyes were fluttering and his breath was becoming more and more labored. "Just hang on, okay?"

Remus swallowed heavily and his eyes sought out Harry's once again, "Listen to me Harry—"

"No!" Harry interrupted, fear gripping his heart over what Remus was going to say. "You rest now, until we can get help."

"Listen to me Harry," he repeated firmly and Harry bit hard on his lip. "Whatever happens, you are going to be okay. You can do this. Don't keep pushing everyone away, their love for you that gives you strength. Your parents loved you. Sirius loved you. And I love you too, Harry. Whatever happens, don't give up."

"DON'T YOU GIVE UP!" Harry screamed at him. "Don't you even dare say goodbye to me Moony because I won't do it! I won't forgive you if you die on me! You fight! Fight with every thing you have in you!"

"Harry!"

He jumped and looked up startled at the face of Professor Dumbledore walking up beside him with Mr. Weasley.

"Help him!" he pleaded with the Headmaster. If anyone could save him, surely Dumbledore could?

Dumbledore knelt down next to Remus and raised his hands above him. "Take it easy Remus, we're going to get you some help," he whispered gently. Picking up a rock from the ground, he muttered, "_Portus_."

Turning to Harry and Arthur he said, "Arthur, I'm going to take Remus directly to St. Mungo's right now. I need you to get Harry safely back to Grimmauld Place straight away."

"NO!" Harry shouted, he knew he sounded hysterical but didn't care, he wasn't leaving Remus. "I want to stay with him."

"I know you do Harry," Dumbledore said gently. "But right now, we have to take care of the injured and don't have time for the distraction your presence would cause. I'm sorry Harry, I know you're worried. Madam Pomfrey is at Grimmauld Place and she can tend to your injuries. I promise to bring you word as soon as I know anything."

Harry swallowed against the lump in his throat and conceded quietly. Dumbledore was right, they didn't need the chaos that would ensue having Harry Potter in the emergency ward. He also wouldn't want to have anyone wasting time guarding him when they could be better used elsewhere.

"Take good care of him," he whispered as Remus and Dumbledore disappeared. Harry suddenly felt overwhelmingly exhausted. All the adrenaline that had been fueling him suddenly evaporated and he sagged to the ground. He was numbly aware of Mr. Weasley putting his arm beneath Harry's and raising him to his feet.

"Come on son, lean on me," he said as they began to slowly make their way back to where the Burrow had once stood. Harry could hear lots of voices and noises now but only dimly registered them. Truthfully, he couldn't make out much more than the distant ringing in his ears. He stumbled several times, but Mrs. Weasley managed to keep him on his feet.

Up close, the damage was immense. A few wooden beams still stood erect, lonely figures amongst the mass of ruins around them. Pieces of furniture and bits of cloth were scattered everywhere. In the center of where the kitchen should have been, Harry could make out the shattered remains of the Weasley family clock. 

He stared at it in a daze and couldn't understand why he didn't feel anything. Surely this should make him sad, or angry, or _something_! In truth, he only felt the numbness.

Mr. Weasley walked him over to where Tonks was standing and she rushed over to meet them, her face pulled taut with concern. She wore a velvet dress and her hair was short and blonde. Harry had never seen her looking sonormal. He knew she'd been at dinner with her family and he was suddenly struck by her resemblance to Draco Malfoy. She helped Mr. Weasley lower Harry to the ground and asked fearfully, "Remus?"

"Dumbledore brought him to St. Mungo's already," Mr. Weasley answered gravely. "Stay with Harry for a minute while I grab a Portkey back to Grimmauld Place and then you can join them at the hospital."

"Sure," Tonks said, sitting down next to Harry. "Molly and the other kids already went back."

"What about George?" Mr. Weasley asked seriously.

Tonks swallowed, "They sent him to St. Mungo's along with Kingsley, the Dursleys, and Mr. Granger. We also sent four of the Death Eaters to the Ministry."

Mr. Weasley nodded solemnly as he went to get the Portkey.

Harry sat there blinking at the ruins, wondering what happened to George but unable to muster enough energy to ask. Tonks was sniffling beside him and he glanced over in time to see the first tear drops start to fall. He gently placed a hand on top of hers and she grasped it firmly.

"He's strong, Harry. He'll get through this, you'll see," she smiled through her tears. He wasn't sure which of them she was trying to convince.

Mr. Weasley returned with a small gold key and placed in Harry's palm as he pulled him to his feet. "Just close your hand around it Harry."

He did, and instantly felt the familiar pull behind his navel hurtling him through time and space into the Entrance Hall of Grimmauld Place. Harry's knees buckled upon impact and he fell right over onto the floor, barely getting his arms in front of him to break his fall.

Mrs. Weasley was by his side in an instant. "Oh Thank Merlin," she cried as she wrapped her arms around him. She was covered in dust and dirt and her voice held a frantic note of panic.

He heard both Ron and Ginny's voices but couldn't see them in the dim light. _Why was it so dark in here?_ It was freezing cold too, he felt his body start to shiver. Madam Pomfrey made them all stand back as she began looking him over, grunting at the sight of his leg. Her fingers ran through the back of his hair and he hissed in pain as she reached the lump that was there. He'd forgotten his head had been bleeding when he woke up.

He could see Ginny's pale face now; she was crying. She was covered in cuts and bruises and he could see a thick, jelly-like ointment covering her bare arm and what looked like the remains of a burn.

Ron was next to her and didn't look much better. His eyes were also red rimmed and he was wearing a sling. The side of his face looked like it was forming a massive bruise. Both of them were talking to him as he continued to stare, he just couldn't make his mind focus on what they were saying.

He heard Madam Pomfrey hiss, "He's in shock," but he didn't know whom she was talking about. She forced a cup of a purple liquid into his hands and ordered him to drink it. Tipping the cup back, he swallowed the contents and was asleep without even being aware of Mrs. Weasley gently lowering his head to the floor.

Hermione sat alone in the kitchen at Grimmauld Place sipping a cup of tea, her mind stuck at the Burrow reliving over and over the events of the afternoon. Her mother was asleep upstairs, the Dreamless Sleep Potion that Madam Pomfrey had given both of them apparently had a much stronger effect on Muggles. Hermione had woken a little while ago and came down to make her tea while her mother slept on. 

The rest of the house was quiet and she assumed they were all sleeping, either on their own or knocked out by Madam Pomfrey. She was desperate to know her father's condition and decided the kitchen was always the first stop of everyone who came through the house, so here she would wait. 

Hermione had been inside the Burrow when the Death Eaters arrived. Harry had run out after the Dursleys and Mr. Weasley was watching from the door. They had all followed him into the yard when the Death Eaters appeared. She'd tried to get both her parent's to stay down and out of the way but her dad got hit with a curse anyway. Hermione still wasn't even sure what they had got him with. She could just envision him falling to the ground over and over in her head like some bad movie.

She was overwhelmed with guilt. Her parents had just wanted her to come home, they just wanted to see her. She'd spent so little time with them these past two years and they wanted a family Christmas. They'd agreed to go to the Burrow on her urging, knowing how much she wanted to be with her friends.

She knew the risks she was putting them in by being there and she'd accepted those risks. But she'd never fully clued her parents in to what was really happening. She was afraid if they knew everything they would try and pull her out of Hogwarts. They were Muggles and of course would be high-profile targets. _What was she thinking?_

Hermione was well aware of the irony of the situation she found herself in. For years she had been exasperated with Harry's constantly taking the blame for anything bad that happened. He felt guilty if someone caught a cold! She'd always given him such a hard time about it. Of course, watching the guilt trip his relatives had heaped on him at dinner, she could better understand how he got that way.

This thing now with her dad gave her a whole new appreciation of how Harry spent his life. Despite all the knowledge in the world that it was the Death Eaters that did this, no amount of logic could overpower the guilt. It was overwhelming and it consumed her completely. How did Harry cope with this every day?

They'd been told Lupin was seriously wounded with silver poisoning and she wondered what was happening with him. Harry couldn't handle another loss right now and she knew when he woke up, he'd sit here and commiserate with her over the guilt. She was sure he'd be feeling it too.

Then there was the Burrow. She couldn't believe it was gone! She'd watched in horror as the walls came tumbling down. She and Ron had clung to each other as they watched the flames burn the only home Ron had ever known. In truth, it had been a home to her as well. She was sure that after she was positive her dad would be okay, she'd grieve with Ron over the loss of his home.

George Weasley had been taken down early by a slicing curse, the same one they had hit Harry's Aunt Petunia with. She and Ron had watched in horror as Fred battled fiercely with the Death Eater who had struck his twin down, eventually stunning the man. She remembered seeing him still lying on the ground when the Burrow exploded.

Kingsley Shacklebolt, who had arrived with Charlie and the rest of the Order, was pinned underneath a huge pile of rubble. She'd seen them digging him out as they transported she, Ron, Ginny and her mum back to headquarters. Ginny had been screaming about not knowing where Harry was but no one listened. They wanted them out of the way, and promised to send Harry along quickly.

Harry. Never mind everything else that had happened after the Death Eaters arrived; there was still his _horrid_ family to consider. What would happen to Harry now? She couldn't imagine Dumbledore letting him go back to those people, not after what they had all witnessed. Their friend had been keeping more from them than she'd ever imagined.

She and Ron had watched Harry fighting the Death Eaters with awe and amazement. Where had he learned to fight like that? They knew he could take care of himself, he'd proved that time and time again, but this was something else. This was more than just magic, Harry was using Martial Arts that looked fairly advanced. Hermione didn't even know he was aware of any of that. 

She knew that there was more going on with Harry than he was telling these past few months. It was obvious he was still keeping things from them and she was fairly certain it had to do with the Prophecy from the Department of Mysteries. Hermione always enjoyed a good mystery and thrived on figuring something out. She should have set her mind to figuring this out long ago but had held back.

Harry told her over the summer he wasn't ready to talk and she knew from vast experience that pushing him only made him retreat further. Still, she could have had the answers by now if she'd really wanted them. And that was the heart of it. Somehow, she suspected that whatever Harry was hiding was something she really didn't want to know. That would have to change. Harry was going to have to do some talking, whether he wanted to or not.

As long as Remus livedIf Harry lost Remus tooShe really wasn't sure he would survive that. Hermione took another sip of her tea and glanced yet again at the door, hoping for some sign of life that could tell her what was going on.

When Harry awoke some time later he could hear Ron's snores coming from the bed on the other side of the room. It was pitch black but he assumed they were in their own room at Grimmauld Place. He lay there for a moment trying to piece together everything that happened with a feeling of dread growing in his belly. He had to find out how Moony was doing.

He sat up groggily and for the first time in his life didn't immediately reach for his glasses. He didn't think he really wanted to see anything in focus right now_. Happy Christmas_, he thought bitterly. He needed to go downstairs to see if there was any news on Remus or the others. He vaguely recollected hearing that something had happened to George. Hermione hadn't been there when he arrived, or at least he hadn't seen her. He hoped her father was okay.

He wondered about the Dursleys too. Mr. Weasley said Aunt Petunia would be okay, but stillthey must be so panicked being in a Wizard Hospital. He had no great affection for his relatives, but they didn't deserve this. He may wish he'd never have to see them again, but he wanted them alive while he lived his life elsewhere.

Ginny's tear-stained face swam in his head and he realized how badly he wanted to see her and make sure she was okay. He didn't even want to think about the Burrow, he couldn't imagine how Ron and Ginny must feel. Sighing, he put the glasses on and slowly stood up, feeling a spasm of pain course through his leg. It was stiff so he shook it out a bit, trying to loosen his muscles. He wrapped his dressing gown over his pajamas and limped into the hall.

He stopped a minute outside Ginny's door and put a hand on it. She'd probably be sleeping and he shouldn't disturb her. Still, he couldn't deny that he wanted to. Things always seemedbetter when she was around. He kept walking, glancing into the Drawing Room but it was empty. He found he had to concentrate very hard on simply putting one foot in front of the other. He felt like his whole world was built from a shaky deck of cards caught in a windstorm, one wrong move and the whole thing was ready to come crashing down.

He continued heading towards the kitchen, his heart beating harder with each step. Surely they would have told him ifNo, he was okay. St. Mungo's was probably very crowded. Dumbledore had said something about multiple attacks that day. He reached the door to the kitchen and could see a light shining underneath. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open to find Hermione sitting there alone sipping a cup of tea.

"Harry!" she got up and ran towards him, wrapping him in a tight embrace. "Are you all right? You're limping?"

He patted her on the back and gently eased her back towards her seat before sitting down himself. "I'm okay. We're is everyone? How's your dad?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know. Everyone is asleep, I'm waiting for someone to come in with some news. Madam Pomfrey gave my mom and I a sleeping draught when we arrived."

"Yeah, I think she gave me one too. I'm not real clear on anything that happened after I got here."

Hermione poured him a cup of tea and pushed it towards him. "Chocolate Frog?" she asked, holding up one of several in front of her.

Harry wasn't hungry and declined as he sipped his tea. "What time is it?"

"I'm not sure, well after midnight. Someone should have been here with some news by now. It's just—" Hermione's voice broke off as she stared at her open Chocolate Frog. She had a stunned expression on her face that caused Harry some concern.

"Hermione, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Hermione shook her head and closed the card in her hand, "What? Oh, sorry I'm fine." 

She seemed nervous and he held out his hand, "Give me the card Hermione."

"It's nothing, Harry. I don't think—" she was interrupted again as he reached over and snatched the card from her hand. He sat in stunned disbelief looking at the image of himself on a Chocolate Frog card. The picture must have been taken some time during the Tri-Wizard tournament, he couldn't believe how young he looked. And really short! It seemed like both just yesterday and another lifetime ago. Harry felt like a few of the cards on his carefully constructed house just toppled over.

Why would they ever put his picture on a Chocolate Frog card? He read the bio about the Boy-Who-Lived and how he defeated Voldemort as a baby and tried to warn everyone of his return but no one believed him for nearly a year. All the references to his being a hero made him bitter and angry. Harry felt the anger he hadn't felt in a while well up inside him and viciously tossed the card across the table.

"Harry," Hermione began tentatively. "People need heroes to believe in. They need something positive to counterbalance the dark and you fit the bill. You have to admit, your life hasn't exactly been ordinary!"

"But I'm not a hero Hermione! I never asked for any of this and I most certainly don't want it! I don't know why they continue to make me out like a hero when all I do is get people killed! I don't even notice half the stuff that's going on with other people around me!"

"You haven't gotten anyone killed Harry, when are you going to get that through your thick skull? You are a hero whether you see it or not. You're a real-life hero to people, not a storybook one where the chapter ends and you never have to see the hero coping with the consequences. Other Wizards would lay down and give up or become bitter like Malfoy or Snape if they ever had to face half of what you've been through. But you did it, and you still go on. That's what makes you a hero."

Harry sat there looking at her in amazement, _why didn't she see_? He was trouble, he brought trouble to everyone around him. It followed him everywhere he went and it more than likely would end up getting her killed. That wasn't what a hero was supposed to do!

He was growing angry with her but didn't want to fight when both of their emotions were so raw. He was about to get up and leave when the door swung open and Fred walked in, looking tired and weary, and like half of him was missing. Harry supposed it was.

"Fred! How's George?" Harry asked.

"I dunno, I was about to ask you the same thing. Madam Pomfrey gave me a sleeping draught and I just woke up. Where is everybody?"

"Seems Madam Pomfrey was pretty liberal with the sleeping draughts. We're the only ones awake so far," Hermione commented dryly.

Before the words were completely out of her mouth, they heard the front door open and all three hurried out into the Entrance Hall to greet Mr. Weasley and Moody. Both looked wiped out and ready to collapse on their feet.

"Dad!" Fred exclaimed, grasping his father's arm and leading him to a chair, "How's George?"

Moody sunk down into a chair next to him while Harry and Hermione sat opposite, staring anxiously and waiting for answers.

"George has a long recovery ahead of him. He'll be laid up a while, but he will recover. You can see him tomorrow, just know he's still pretty out of it." Mr. Weasley's voice was weary, but the sound of relief was unmistakable.

"Your father is being released in the morning, Hermione," Moody assured her. "They wanted to keep him overnight for observation but he's going to be fine. They want to know about obliviating him?"

"No. My parents know about magic already, they don't need to do that," Hermione answered firmly.

"That's what I thought you'd say, but we had to ask." Mr. Weasley smiled. "Harry, they want to know about doing the same to the Dursleys. They'll probably release your aunt tomorrow as well. I don't think they can be rid of her soon enough. They've pretty much kept your uncle and cousin stunned to contain them."

Harry put his hand to his forehead and his brow furrowed in concentration. The Dursley's would actually be better off not remembering any of the events that happened today. They hated magic with a passion and this would only fuel that, they'd be better off not knowing. "Yeah, go ahead and use a memory charm. It's probably for the best."

Mr. Weasley nodded, "That's what Albus said, but it's your decision to make."

Harry nodded and gave the go ahead. He was growing alarmed, they hadn't said anything about Remus and mentally he began preparing himself. He gripped into his own thighs, not even noticing as his nails dug into the skin.

"Shacklebolt will be laid up for a few day, but he's going to make a full recovery. He'll be off duty at the Ministry for a while." Moody supplied. The room waited with baited breath through an awkward silence.

"Is he dead?" Harry asked hollowly, causing Mr. Weasley to flinch. Hermione instantly put her hand on Harry's back but he stiffened and shook her off.

No, no no!" Mr. Weasley assured him. "He's alive Harry, but he's not in good shape. The silver poisoning was extensive but it never pierced his skin so he has a chance. They're working to get all the poison from his system and replacing his blood, but it's slow going and they still don't know for sure. It's going to be touch and go for a while. I'm sorry I don't have better news for you."

Harry nodded woodenly and got up to leave_. He was still alive, there was still a chance_. He didn't want to allow that hope to bloom, it would be easier to just expect the worse. Harry quietly mounted the stairs and left the room. No one said anything but he could feel all their eyes on his back as he ascended. He reached the door to his bedroom but stopped, his hand hovering just above the doorknob.

Slowly, almost imperceptibly he turned and stepped across the hall. It wasn't in his power to control his actions, it was like blind instinct. _He needed her._ He quietly opened the door to her room and slipped inside, shutting the latch gently and gingerly moving towards the sleeping figure on the bed.

She was sleeping peacefully, he could see the gentle rise and fall of her chest and the fluttering movement of her eyes behind the lids_. Madam Pomfrey must have gotten to her too_, he thought wryly. He didn't have the heart to wake her. He stood over her for a minute and gently rubbed his knuckles over the soft, warm skin of her face. She sighed in contentment causing a ghost of a smile to appear on Harry's lips. He kept his fingers there for a few minutes, shutting his eyes and basking in the warmth of her skin.

He didn't want to wake her, but he didn't want to leave her either. His eyes raked over Hermione's still made up bed and assumed his friend was sleeping in with her mother. Harry pulled the covers back and crawled in, lying on his side and adjusting the pillow so he could stare at Ginny's sleeping face. He couldn't be sure how long he stayed there, the events of the day playing over and over in his mind. Eventually the exhaustion caught up to him again and he quietly tiptoed back to his own room, letting the gentle tide of sleep finally claim him.

A/N: I'd like to return the favor and give a call out to one of my faithful reviewers, Greywind. Check out Greywind's story _The Reaper's Lesson_ for some great intrigue and plot twists. It's a fun story and I recommend it, I've been following it for a long time now!


	27. Secrets Revealed

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Twenty-seven

Secrets Revealed

"Harry. Harry, it's time to wake up now. Come on Harry, wake up." He heard the whispering from far away and felt a gentle breeze across his ear. Crinkling his brow, he burrowed deeper into his blankets and tried to swat at whatever was near his face.

"Harry," a little louder this time and he slowly opened his eyes in time to see Ginny leaning over him and gently blowing in his ear. He felt his body shudder as the air made contact.

"Good morning."

"That's a nice way to wake up," he croaked groggily, then the reality of the situation washed over him and he sat up quickly. "Are you all right?"

Ginny smiled sadly, "I've been better." She still wore the bandages on her arm but looked healthy otherwise.

He nodded in agreement, "I'm sorry, Gin."

She climbed up onto his bed and rested her head on his shoulder, "You have nothing to be sorry about, Harry, it wasn't your fault. I went down and saw Mum a little while ago, she said George was going to be okay."

Harry turned to face her and rested his forehead against hers, "Yeah, your dad told me last night.

Ginny looked up at him sadly, "It was a rough night for all of us. Dad told her about Remus and that you were upset, I'm sorry Harry."

He nodded and pulled Ginny into an embrace, holding her tightly as if his life depended on it. "I can't lose him, Gin, not now." The emotion in Harry's voice was tangible and raw and excruciatingly painful. He held onto her for a while, just sitting on the bed, his mind far away, when he suddenly became aware she was sniffling.

Her body was trembling slightly and he realized she was crying as she started speaking softly, "I feel so selfish being upset about the Burrow when there are people hurt, but I can't help it! I can't believe it's gone."

At first Harry wasn't sure what to do, he wasn't very good at this. He had no idea how to comfort crying girls, and the idea had always completely panicked him before. But Ginny was different. As he held her close and saw the tears gently rolling down her cheeks, he knew instantly that he'd do anything for her not to hurt this way. He didn't want her to ever have to cry and he wrapped his arms around her in fierce protectiveness.

"Shhh, it's okay to be upset about the Burrow, Ginny. I am too. The Burrow was more than a house, its been your home your whole life. When I think about the Weasleys, I automatically think about the Burrow, it's so much a part of all of you. But we'll get it fixed up, Ginny, we can do that! Okay? Please don't cry."

She wiped her eyes on the collar of his pajamas and raised her teary gaze up to his, "I'm okay. You okay?"

"Did you just use me as a handkerchief?"

Ginny stared at him blankly for a moment, than giggled when she realized what she'd done, "I guess so. Just be glad I didn't decide to blow my nose too!"

"That's just gross, Ginny." It felt good to joke, he never would have suspected he'd be able to that this morning.

"Come on, everyone else is probably already in the kitchen. Mum sent me up here to wake you. Let's go get some breakfast."

The idea of facing everyone else didn't appeal to Harry, "You go ahead, I'm really not hungry. I think I'll just take a shower."

"No. You're not doing this again, Harry. You didn't eat all day yesterday, you're coming down with me and we'll all face whatever comes together." Ginny's voice was firm and there was no doubt in Harry's mind she wouldn't back down. When Ginny got something in her head, that was just the way it was going to be. She leaned over and pertly kissed him on the nose before jumping off the bed.

"Okay, let's go then," he sighed. He took her hand and they walked down the stairs together.

Ginny pushed open the kitchen door and firmly shoved Harry in front of her. If he didn't know for sure that he'd never hear the end of her teasing him about his failed Gryffindor courage, he might have bolted before she got him inside. The kitchen was crowded with most of the Weasleys, Hermione, Mrs. Granger and Alastor Moody. Ron was still looking slightly dazed and Harry wondered how long he'd been awake. He must have been sleeping pretty soundly for he'd never heard Ron get up.

As the door opened he heard the end of Hermione's blunt question, "so if they can't get all of the poison out of his blood before the full moon, he'll die?" Harry stopped so short Ginny walked into his back with a, "Ummff."

All heads turned their way and Mrs. Weasley jumped up and hurried over to them, speaking loudly out of nervousness. "Harry! Ginny! Come in dears, have a seat and I'll get you some plates." She ushered them over to the table and placed heaping breakfasts in front of them. There was an uncomfortable silence around the table and Harry desperately wished he could think of something to say to break the awful tension. His mind had gone back to that numb state and he just couldn't find the words. His heart had clenched at Hermione's words and he knew the color had once again drained from his face.

Ginny squeezed his fingers beneath the table and it was she, who yet again, came to his rescue. "So, have we heard from anyone yet this morning? What's going on?" She completely bypassed what they had heard upon entering and gave the conversation a chance to start over. He was eternally grateful to her for that.

"Dad has already left for St. Mungo's," Mrs. Weasley answered. "He'll be bringing Mr. Granger back here any minute. The Dursleys are also being released and Kingsley can go home tomorrow. They'll be keeping George and Remus for a while, but both are holding their own."

Harry took a good look at Mrs. Weasley as she was speaking. He noticed how drawn she was and that the creases around her eyes and mouth seemed deeper than he remembered them. She was tense with worry and he was struck by how much weight she had lost. A new and bitter sense of guilt washed over him for this. After everything she had done for him, this was how he repaid her? There was nothing anyone could say to relieve this guilt. Both the Burrow and Privet Drive being attacked on the same day was just too much of a coincidence for it not to be connected to him.

He suspected the Weasleys would still be involved in the fight against Voldemort if the situation were different. They were good people and would always stand up for what they believed in. Mr. Weasley was far too involved with Muggle Relations for him to not know what was happening. Still, he knew they wouldn't have been thrust in the middle so hard and so fast if it wasn't for his friendship with Ron. He wondered, and not for the first time, if they wished Ron had just picked any other compartment to sit in on that first day. _How could they not?_

Harry put his hand beneath his glasses and began rubbing his eyes without even realizing he was doing it. Mrs. Weasley's gentle voice in his ear brought him back to the table, "You're aunt is much better and they've administered some memory charms. They'll have absolutely no recollection of the day and believe they had a nice Christmas dinner at home." She squeezed his shoulders and gently ran her hand along the side of his face as she spoke.

Harry nodded, but it somehow didn't make him feel any better. He pushed the food around on his plate but couldn't quite bring himself to put anything in his mouth. When he found Mrs. Weasley's eyes on him for about the hundredth time that morning, he looked into her troubled eyes and agonizingly whispered, "I'm sorry."

He watched as her face adopted that fiercely protective look he'd seen on her so many times before. She was about to reply and he cringed over what her response would be when he was saved by the sound of the kitchen door opening. Mr. Weasley had returned with Mr. Granger, who appeared slightly unsteady on his feet.

Hermione launched herself at her father, who managed to stay standing and enveloped his daughter in a huge bear hug. "I'm all right, pumpkin," Harry heard him mutter. This only caused Hermione to burst into tears as she buried her face in her father's shoulder. Mrs. Granger hurried over and joined the family embrace.

Mrs. Weasley herded the rest of them out of the kitchen to give the Grangers some privacy. Mr. Weasley assured Harry that Remus was hanging in there and although there had been no change, the fact he'd survived the night was encouraging. The Dursleys were back at Privet Drive, none the wiser, and Bill had added some new wards to the house. There would continue to be a member of the Order guarding the residence at all times, but he wasn't sure what Dumbledore's plans for the summer would be. Harry felt the small box that was his world shrink a bit more.

The Grangers stayed at Grimmauld Place for a couple days while Mr. Granger recovered before returning to their own home and practice. After a long and heartfelt discussion with her parents about everything that was going on in the Wizarding world, Hermione stayed at Headquarters with the others. She told them her parents had considered pulling her out of school but she convinced them she'd still be a target and Hogwarts was the safest place. Her parents had reluctantly agreed.

Harry's scar bothered him constantly, so much so that he couldn't remember what it felt like not to have a headache. His hands had began to shake and he suspected it was somehow due to the number of Cruciatus Curses Voldemort was administering. He'd been trying to hide it from the others, but as the pain increased, so did the tremors. He was managing to block most of the visions, only brief flashes penetrating his shield. But Voldemort's fury was too intense for Harry to keep out entirely, and his scar burned as the Dark Lord vented his wrath.

Due to the pain and the nagging worry about Remus, he'd virtually stopped eating again and Mrs. Weasley's constant attempts to get him to put something in his mouth had him avoiding her at all costs. It was because of this, that Dumbledore decided that the four students would be returning to Hogwarts early. He hoped the extra protection Hogwarts offered would aid Harry in blocking some of Voldemort's emotions.

He didn't want to leave, he wanted to be close in case there was news about Remus. Dumbledore promised to keep him informed but wouldn't allow him to go to the hospital. Tonks had been to see him once and she looked haggard and weary, but insisted Remus would be all right. He hated to see her this way. He always thought of Tonks as larger than life, full of mischief and fun, much the same way the twins were. This latest attack had taken the spark out of all of them. George was still in hospital; Fred was lost and too serious without him; and Tonks seemed to be walking in a daze, fearful of losing the life she had started to build for herself.

The night before they were to return to school, Harry and Ginny were lying on the couch in the Drawing Room watching the lights on the Christmas tree. Harry's scar had been particularly painful all day and he was feeling very sleepy because of it. Ginny was lying alongside him, nestled closely to his side while her fingers gently traced the line of his jaw.

"Harry," she said softly.

"Hmmm?"

"Where did you learn to fight like that?"

He stiffened, he knew this was coming but still hoped to avoid it. "There's some things I have to tell you; Ron and Hermione, too. When we're back at Hogwarts, there's some stuff you need to know about. Not tonight though, okay? Just one more night."

Ginny eyed him warily, but conceded, "All right then. Tomorrow."

Harry shuddered and pulled her close_, would he lose her tomorrow? Would he lose them all? _ He didn't want to think about that. His thoughts rapidly focused back in on Ginny as she began kissing his face and he turned his head as she moved to his lips. She continued kissing him gently, moving to kiss his chin, up the bridge of his nose, across his cheeks, until she reached his forehead and began to gently trail kisses along the length of his scar.

He immediately tried to pull away but she held him in place and continued what she was doing until he relaxed under her ministrations. She gradually moved to his ears, not stopping overly long on the scar or commenting at all and it suddenly dawned on Harry that she treated it simply as another part of him, no more, no less. He felt moisture well up in his eyes at this simple gesture and he pulled her close, hiding his face in her hair. She'd become so important to him, she centered him and had become his rock to cling to. _What would he ever do if he lost her now, after all this?_

"It's going to be all right," she whispered, as if sensing his inner turmoil. Maybe she had some Legilimency skills of her own? _Either must die at the hand of the other_

Harry didn't want to talk, he just wanted to kiss her for as long as possible. He sought out her lips and she eagerly responded. He knew he was hiding, but losing himself in her was a good place to be. For this last night of the hols, he was just going to be a normal sixteen-year old boy snogging his girlfriend senseless. Voldemort be damned!

They returned to the Gryffindor Common Room the next day by Portkey. Mrs. Weasley had cried when she kissed them all goodbye, and made Harry promise he would eat. Gryffindor Tower was empty, none of the other students had stayed over the holiday, so they had the place to themselves until term started. They'd spent the day settling in and even went down for tea with Hagrid. Harry hated to admit it, but his headache did improve the moment he was back inside the walls of Hogwarts.

While they were finishing up dinner in the Great Hall, Ginny broached the subject that had been plaguing her all day. "So, Harry, you said there were some things you wanted to talk to us about when we got back to Hogwarts?"

Ron and Hermione looked up questioningly at this. Harry took a deep breath, this was it. "Yeah. I've got some things I need to tell you. Why don't we go up to the Room of Requirement?"

Hermione looked nervous, but Ron merely shrugged and the four made their way upstairs. When they entered, the room was set up small and cozy with four armchairs in front of a blazing fire. Mugs of hot chocolate waited for each of them. The others sat down but Harry began to pace nervously. He removed his wand from its holster just to have something to do with his hands. It took several moments for him to decide how he was going to begin, and they waited quietly. His demeanor had let them all know this was serious.

"I know you all think I've been keeping things from you, and you're right. I'm sorry, but I really didn't have much choice." He swallowed painfully and looked over at them. Hermione didn't seem surprised, but she was tense waiting for more; Ron was perplexed, his brown knitted in confusion; Ginny was harder to read, her expression was neutral but her shoulders were hunched and she was chewing on a fingernail.

"There's been some things happening in my life that I was suppose to keep quiet, but I think it's time to let you in on it. I never wanted any of this to touch you the way it has, and I'm sorry for that."

"Harry, none of this is your fault, mate," Ron said loyally.

"Please, Ron, let me finish before you say anything, all right? You need to know the whole story before you can decide that. When I dropped my fifth class, it wasn't for extra Occlumency lessons. I've been having extra Defense lessons with Moony and Tonks. They've each been coming here to teach me different skills in order to protect myself. The first thing I did was learn to Apparate."

"What?" Hermione couldn't stop herself, "You know how to Apparate? That's illegal, you're not seventeen."

Despite the situation, Harry grinned. "Dumbledore got a special waiver due to my circumstances. I've found there are always exceptions to most rules, Hermione." With that, Harry Disapparated from in front of them and appeared silently on the other side of the room, a huge grin forming on his face.

Ron and Ginny had each dropped their chins in amazement while Hermione opened and closed her mouth in stunned disbelief. Harry could see the wheels in her head turning as she struggled to grasp some kind of logic from the situation. "But, you can't Apparate inside Hogwarts, it says so in _Hogwarts a History_."

"I know," Harry smiled. "You can't Apparate in or out, but you can within this room. This is where I practiced with Moony." A dull shadow passed across Harry's features as he mentioned his teacher, but he covered it quickly.

"Wicked," Ron beamed. Harry wasn't sure if he was talking about the fact Harry could Apparate or that Hermione and _Hogwarts a History_ had been outsmarted.

"After that, Moony began teaching me how to Fence and Tonks showed me some of the Advanced Spells I've been teaching to the D.A. She's also been instructing me in Martial Arts."

"So that's where you learned to fight like that," Ginny commented to no one in particular, her eyes looking like they were very far away. Harry guessed she was back at the Burrow during the battle on Christmas Day.

"I've still been doing Occlumency in the evenings with Professor Dumbledore and when term begins, we're going to start work on Legilimency too."

"You're going to become a Legilimens? Have you shown an aptitude for it?" Hermione couldn't help but interrupt.

"Well, yeah. Do you remember that night in the Common Room when I yelled at the two of you answering questions you said you never asked?" Both of his friends nodded and he continued, "Well, that was the first time I really noticed it, but then I became aware of some other times it was happening too. I'm supposed to be practicing but Dumbledore said to go easy. He said it's overwhelming at first. I tried that day at the Burrow to use it on some of the Death Eaters but it didn't work very well and just made me feel sick. It's hard to block everything else out and just concentrate on one person's thoughts when there is a group around."

All three of his friends were staring at him in shock and wonder. Finally Ron broke the silence with an uneasy expression on his face, "You mean, you can read our minds?"

Harry shrugged, "Sometimes, if I try really hard." He looked at Hermione and concentrated intently, shutting his eyes and trying to block all sense of the room around him. "Hermione is wondering how could _Hogwarts A History_ be wrong?"

"Well I could have told you that without any mind reading skills!" Ron blurted and both Harry and Ginny laughed at Hermione's scowl.

Harry looked over at Ron and did the same thing, although his stomach was beginning to roil. "Ron, you're worried about what I'm going to see in your mind and you're also wondering if Dobby is in the kitchen and would consider getting us some snacks."

Ron's eyes opened wide and he gulped audibly, "Blimey Harry."

Harry repeated the process looking over at Ginny, who was staring back at him with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. Harry turned bright red and dropped his wand in nervousness. He immediately turned away from Ginny, who had an evil grin spreading on her face.

"If you tell me whatever it is she's thinking, I'm going to have to hit you," Ron commented dryly.

Harry cleared his throat nervously and began pacing, keeping his eyes away from Ginny and Hermione, who was grinning as if she was also aware of Ginny's thoughts. His palms were sweaty and he could feel his hands shaking, although he wasn't sure if that was from the Legilimency or leftover effects from Voldemort. "The thing is, I'm going to have to ask all of you to keep this secret, no one else can know about it."

"Well of course not Harry, any of this might help save your life, especially the Apparating part. We'd never do anything to put you in danger," Ginny said fiercely.

"I know. I'm the one who has put all of you in danger, and I'm about to add to that by telling you what I'm going to tell you. I should have told you last summer when you tried to get me to talk, or after the ambush in Diagon Ally, or the Hogsmeade trip, or any other countless number of times you've all asked me what was wrong. I just didn't want to tell you, I didn't want to think about it, or deal with it, or watch your faces as you accepted the truth. It took me a long time to accept it. But now, after the attack on the Burrow, you need to know the whole thing. You have to understand what sticking around me is going to mean. You have to know, and decide for yourselves."

It was obvious Harry was working himself into a panic and all three kept their eyes on him in apprehension. This was it, this was what they'd been waiting for, what they knew was there but he'd refused to share. Now, being on the verge of hearing whatever it was, they were all very nervous.

"Just say it, Harry," Hermione finally spoke.

"You remember the Prophecy from the Department of Mysteries, the one Voldemort wanted so badly that had something to do with he and I? I know what is said, Dumbledore told me when we got back here that night. He was the one who heard it originally."

"What did it say?" Hermione asked. Somehow, she'd known this was coming.

Harry took a deep breath, shut his eyes and began, _"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approachesBorn to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month diesAnd the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows notAnd either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives_."

Harry let out his breath and felt like crumpling to the floor. Instead, he grabbed onto the arm of the chair for support and looked around to see their reactions. Hermione was sitting with her hand covering her mouth, her eyes open round and wide. Ron had slumped back against the chair, shaking his head in silent denial. Ginny looked furious. Harry had expected a lot of different reactions, but somehow blind rage was not one of them! He'd been more afraid he would make her cry.

"Ginny," he began tentatively.

"How long have you know about this?" Her voice sounded like a hiss.

Harry swallowed but didn't answer, he already knew enough about her to understand that she didn't really want a response, she was just building up her rant. "You knew this all last summer and kept it to yourself? No wonder you made yourself sick, Harry! When are you ever going to get it through that thick skull of yours that you aren't in this alone! You've got to stop bottling everything up and let us help you!"

"You can't help me with this!" Harry snapped. "It's him or it's me, there is no in between. Now that I've told all of you what the Prophecy says, it puts you all in greater danger. Voldemort wants this information, he only knows the first part of what it says."

"We'll have to start in the library, I want to check out the wording "to vanquish" in particular." Hermione was rambling and not really paying attention to the argument developing between Harry and Ginny before her. She was trying to get her breathing under control and not let Harry see the horror she was feeling.

"You're not going to do it alone, mate," Ron said. "We'll all be right behind you every step of the way. Hermione, you can find something, can't you?" Ron's voice had a desperate quality to it and his panic was palatable.

Harry was flabbergasted. Didn't they just hear what he said? Didn't they understand? This was their chance to run, get out while they still could, but they didn't even seem to be considering that an option. Harry's throat was growing tight, _maybe he wasn't going to lose them after all?_

"This is your chance to bail. No one, least of all me, would ever blame you for getting out now."

"Don't be ridiculous Harry," Hermione muttered dismissively, still flipping through a book she'd taken from the shelf. "We love you, and we'd never let you go through this alone. We're going to help you any way we can."

"You're not getting rid of me that easy," Ginny whispered taking his hand.

"Odds are actually a bit better than they usually are. At least we know what we're up against," Ron added, clapping Harry on the back.

Harry smiled, letting out a breath he felt as if he'd been holding since Dumbledore had first revealed the Prophecy to him all those months ago. He held Ginny's hand as they all made their way back to Gryffindor tower, his heart remarkably lighter.

As they each lay in their own beds drifting off to sleep, Harry sighed in relief. He was so happy that was over with and it had gone better than he'd expected. For so long he had dreaded the idea of sharing his fate with them, but he had to admit, now that he had done so, he felt much better. A huge weight had been lifted from him and for the first time in he didn't know how long, he didn't have any qualms about falling asleep.

Quite the contrary, Ron lay in his bed wide-awake. He usually didn't have any trouble falling asleep, but tonight his mind was racing. He could hear his own heart pounding in his ears as thoughts ran through his mind so quickly he couldn't stop to focus on a single one. No wonder Harry had trouble sleeping.

All was quiet from his friend's bed now and Ron wondered if he'd already fallen asleep. So this was the big secret Harry had been harboring all this time. He knew it was something big, but honestly, this was not what he'd expected. Ron had held firm to the belief that it would be Dumbledore who defeated Voldemort in the end. Light over Darkness, and all that.

This was beyond Ron, he didn't know what to think. Harry was strong and a powerful wizard. He'd come through more in his short life than anyone else Ron knew, but how was he supposed to defeat ultimate evil? How would Ron do it if this had been laid on him? He probably would have run screaming into the Forbidden Forest to spend the rest of his days with Aragog!

How had Harry coped with this for so long? Ron had watched him during the battle at the Burrow. He could fight, there was no doubt about that. He thought on his feet and never panicked in a crisis. Despite that, Ron could see the toll all of this was taking on him and it worried him. If Lupin diedhe shuddered at what that would do to Harry.

Harry was the only hope all of them had? How did you live with something like that? How did you just carry on the day-to-day act of living knowing what lay ahead of you? Ron was developing a new and profound respect for the way Harry carried out his life. He just kept picking up the pieces and carrying on, no matter what was thrown at him. No matter what happened, no matter how this all came about. Ron had every intention of being right with Harry during that final battle. And he'd do everything within his power to see that Harry came out alive.

Hermione was lying in her own bed, her thoughts as jumbled and confused as Ron's. She kept swiping viciously at the tears that insisted on falling, Harry would hate that. She'd known the Prophecy was significant, she'd always suspected the gist of what it would contain, but had steadfastly refused to accept it. There could be no more hiding now. Harry needed her and she had to find some way to help him. Not only help him succeed, but someway to help him live with the knowledge of what he must face.

She had never put any stock in Divination. She'd walked out of Trelawney's class that day thinking she'd left it behind for good. If she only knew then what she did now. Only one could survive. It had to be Harry, but what kind of a mark would it leave on him? Harry already had so much emotional baggage. He'd somehow find a way to cope, he always did.

So how did one defeat something that wasn't even really human any more? There had to be something they were overlooking. What was this Power that Harry supposedly had? It couldn't be the Legilimency, as Voldemort also was skilled with that?

Hermione's brain was whirring with thoughts, schemes and plans. No matter what it took, she was going to help Harry find a way to do this thing. _No matter what._

Ginny lay in her bed softly crying, there was no way she could stop the tears from flowing and she wasn't bothering to try. She knew better than all of them what this Prophecy was demanding of Harry. She knew why it frightened him so. She had been powerless to stop the memory of Voldemort's sixteen-year old self from completely taking over her mind. He was so much more powerful now. Still, Harry _did_ defeat him then, he had found a way. She'd have to make sure she helped him find a way again.

She could sense the fear in Harry as he shared his fate with all of them. She could also see that it was the thought he was going to lose all of them that pained him more than anything else. Even after all this time, no matter how much they tried to show him, he still didn't believe they wouldn't abandon him. She needed to find a way to prove to him that they would be by his side, come what may.

__

Oh Harry! She'd dreamed about him for years and now that he was finally hers, there was absolutely no way anyone, or anything was going to take him away from her. Including Tom Riddle. She'd find a way to show him that he wasn't alone, make him understand it and believe it. He had to know that he'd never be alone again. With that thought, Ginny cried herself to sleep.

A/N: Thank you so much to all you wonderful reviewers! Your kind words and feedback have really inspired me to keep going! I'm really close to the end of this thing now, once I have it finished I'll up the posting to twice a week. I'm sorry I can't email you all individually anymore, but email me if you have questions, or leave your addy and I'll respond!


	28. 28 Full Moon

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Twenty-eight

Full Moon

As the students returned to the castle and classes resumed, it was with an air of heavy sadness. The attacks that happened on Christmas were widespread and devastating, focusing mainly on Ministry workers, Muggle born students and their families. Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff had all lost several students, only Slytherin House remained intact.

None of the Gryffindors in Harry's year had been killed, but Dean Thomas had lost his father. Suddenly the animosity that had been built between them seemed so inconsequential to Harry and he reached out a hand to Dean on his return. Dean took it and nodded grimly.

Gryffindor lost three students, all in the lower years and Harry knew none of them personally. He still added their names to the silent and growing list in his head. In the days following the Prophecy's revelation to his friends, Harry's heart had lightened considerably. He was calmer and able to think more rationally, the huge burden he had carried for too long had been lifted from his shoulders. In sharp contrast, all three of his friends were much tenser and dark circles appeared beneath all their eyes.

They were short with each other, and with Harry. Ron and Hermione's bickering had reached new levels. Harry was saddened to be the cause of it, but held his tongue and let them work through it. He'd certainly been testy enough in the past, it was his turn to take it.

The return of the other students, however, brought the grief and reality of the situation crashing back down upon him. All this pain, all this sufferingit was still connected to him. Voldemort may be the one causing it, but it was Harry's duty to stop it and the longer it took him to find a way to do this, the more people would suffer. Harry's silent list of names was his responsibility. The longer he took to prepare, the more lives would be lost.

Since neither Moony nor Tonks were able to continue Harry's training, Dumbledore told him he was having someone else brought in. Harry wasn't sure yet when this person would arrive so he used his free periods to continue the training Tonks had begun on his own. He started running again although on the first day he had to use drying charms to clear a path through the snow on the Quidditch pitch to make a track to run on.

Classes resumed and Professor Trent began teaching them some dueling techniques. Harry was still having trouble figuring her out. Her lessons were good, and some of the information he thought would be very useful. There was something cold about her, very distant and he wondered how she and his mother had been friends. From everything he'd heard about his mother, she'd been nothing like this stranger. This woman was aloof and almost superior-sounding when she lectured. In some ways, she reminded Harry of Malfoy.

Professor Trent was a common topic of conversation in the Gryffindor Common Room. Ron and Hermione, who until hearing of the Prophecy had pretty much ceased all their spats, continued to argue over their DADA teacher. Hermione continue to defend her and Ron continued his suspicions. Harry had long since suspected that neither of them was looking at her clearly anymore and only holding steadfastly to their own view point. Neither would ever back down from an argument and Harry was getting frustrated wishing he could get some objectivity.

It was getting close to curfew and he was hurrying to get back to Gryffindor Tower on time. Tonight was the full moon and Harry's nerves were shot. Although Remus had yet to regain consciousness, he was making progress. If he'd had an open wound, or Wormtail had punctured his skin with the silver hand, Remus would have been dead long ago. The doctors at St. Mungo's had been extracting the poison from his blood as slowly and painstakingly as possible, but tonight would be the test. When the moon was full, Remus would transform and if there were any silver left in his system, it would destroy him.

He didn't want to sit in the Common Room and talk about it, as he knew Hermione did. He didn't want to sit still at all and instead had been in the Room of Requirement preparing for the D.A. meeting later in the week. If he stopped and allowed himself to think, Harry thought he might crack so he kept pushing himself on. Ginny seemed to understand his need and hadn't pressured him to talk about it.

As he was about to round the corner near the DADA room, he saw Professor Trent and Malfoy in the corridor ahead. He ducked back in the shadows and tried to strain his ears to hear what they were saying. They appeared to be arguing but he couldn't make out the words of the raised voices. Malfoy was gesturing wildly but Trent's expression remained unmoved. Malfoy had a petulant look on his face that reminded Harry of a spoiled child unused to being reprimanded. In fact, he'd seen that same expression on Dudley's face many times before.

Professor Trent raised her arm and pointed her finger with determination. Malfoy stalked off like the sulky child he was. Harry had to grin, although he wished he could have heard Malfoy getting told off. It was only then that it clicked with Harry he should have tried to use Legilimency, although he was unsure if Professor Trent would have been able to pick up his presence if he had done so.

He was late now, so he quickly ran until he reached the Fat Lady and entered the Common Room. Ron, Hermione and Ginny were all sitting there waiting for him. All three seemed relieved to see him there.

"We were getting worried, you almost missed curfew." Ginny smiled, moving her legs and making room for him on the couch she was sitting on.

"We were about to come looking for you," Ron added.

"I got held up by the DADA classrooms. I saw Malfoy arguing with Professor Trent over something but I couldn't hear what," Harry replied.

"How do you know they were arguing?" Ron asked. "Maybe they were plotting something."

Harry took a deep breath trying to control his irritation, "No. She seemed like she was scolding him almost."

"Maybe he had a detention," Ginny volunteered.

"Could be. You should have seen him stomp away like a big baby! I wonder what she said to him?" Harry grinned at the memory.

"Maybe that he isn't the best dueler in the school, not even close," theorized Ron, warming to his topic with a malicious twinkle in his eye.

Harry couldn't help but grin with him, Malfoy bashing was one of his favorite hobbies. "Or that his Animagus form would be a ferret."

Even Hermione grinned at that, "Okay, it's late. I'm heading up to bed, good night."

"Me too," Ron yawned. "Are you coming, Harry?"

"I think I'll sit down here a while," Harry answered evasively. He knew there would be no sleep for him this night, not until he heard about Remus and he didn't feel like torturing himself in his bed. He could do that just as easily down here with the lights on.

"I'll stay up with you a while," Ginny said and he smiled at her gratefully.

Ron and Hermione bade their goodnights and headed up to bed. Harry and Ginny stayed on the couch as the other occupants headed upstairs one by one until it was only the two of them left in the Common Room.

Harry watched the moon in the sky from the window silently, lost in thought until Ginny tugged him over and placed his head on her lap, "He's going to be okay, Harry."

"How can you be so sure?"

Ginny shrugged and began stroking her fingers through his hair, he always loved when she did that. "I don't know, just wishful thinking I guess, but we need to believe it. I think it's important for us to believe in him, it will keep him strong."

Harry felt a shiver run through him and he pulled himself in tighter to her body, "I hope so, Gin." She continued to play with his hair as they silently stared out the window. It was a clear night and the moon shone brightly. The peacefulness seemed to belittle Harry's inner turmoil. "I really hate this waiting," he finally blurted.

"I know, it's awful, isn't it?"

"I always wonder how I get myself into the situations I do and why I always end up being involved in whatever trouble is going on. But sitting here, just waiting and wonderingI'd so much rather be doing something that sitting around waiting to hear!"

"Well, now you know how the rest of us feel when it's you who's hurt or off on one of your adventures and we're stuck here waiting for news!"

Harry was stunned, he'd never thought about it that way. "I'm sorry," he stammered truthfully.

"Oh, Harry! I'm not trying to give you yet another reason to feel guilty, just agreement that the waiting is very hard!"

Harry rolled over so he was lying flat on his back looking up at her, his head still resting on her lap. She grinned at him in mock innocence, "Just staring at the moon is making us crazy, we need to find something to occupy ourselves while we wait. What should we do to pass the time? I can't think of anything interesting in this dark, empty room, can you?" She battered her eyes dramatically.

Harry grinned at her, "I think my girlfriend is a scarlet woman."

"You wish!" Ginny scoffed as she leaned over and gently nipped at his lower lip.

Harry sat up and twisted to face her, she placed a hand on each side of his face and brought him closer for a gentle, tender kiss.

Harry wasn't sure what happened, but, as it usually did when she was near him, the overpowering drive and need to have her closer overtook him suddenly. He quickly grabbed her shoulders and began devouring her lips with his own. He wasn't sure why he always felt so out of control when he kissed her, but he didn't really want to think about anything except what he was doing, and the feeling of what she was doing to him. He nudged her backwards until she was lying on the couch as he continued to plant kisses down the length of her neck. Ginny's moan of pleasure spurred him on and he lost himself in the delicious feelings assailing his senses.

He nipped gently at her neck and tugged on her earlobe and thrilled at the sensation of her fingers running along his ribcage through his T-shirt. He felt a tremendous need, almost desperation for more of her as he ran his hands along her sides. His heart was pounding in his chest and all awareness fled him.

He wasn't sure how long they lay there, lost in each other and the pleasurable sensations of kissing one another. His mind suddenly flashed on Remus and it was like a bucket of ice being dropped on him from above. How could he be here enjoying himself like this when Moony was fighting for his life? _What was wrong with him?_

He pulled back sharply from Ginny, jumped off the couch and began pacing back and forth running his hands through his already tousled hair. He struggled to get his breathing back under control but was taking great gulps of air as his revulsion over his own actions took over.

"Harry?" Ginny questioned, her lips swollen from kissing.

"How can we be doing this while Moony is— When he might be—" he broke off with a cry, unable to finish the thought.

Ginny grabbed his hands in her own and pulled back onto the couch. She was running a hand through her hair and struggling with her own breathing. "Harry, we may have gotten carried away, butnot because we're not thinking about him. I know you're worried about him, I can see the anguish in your eyes. But, no matter what happens with him tonight, you know that he wants you to carry on with living."

Harry stared at her desperately, knowing she was right but wanting reassurance anyway. "He said if we give up on living, Voldemort wins."

"And he's right, you know he's right. He's a Marauder Harry, don't tell me you don't think he wouldn't have spent any time snogging when he had the chance."

Harry gave her a small smile, "With Sirius I'd agree with that, I'm not sure about Moony. He always seems more sensible than Sirius was."

"Sirius probably would have been doing a lot more than snogging," she said wryly before she could stop herself and colored brightly.

Harry laughed out loud as his own face turned red, "You're probably right. I wish they would tell us something!"

"Dumbledore said he'd let us know in the morning, he probably thinks you're asleep."

"I can't sleep, I'm just going to wait here. Will you stay with me?"

"Of course." Ginny relaxed back into the couch and gently pulled Harry next to her. "Harry?"

"Hmm?"

"Before, when we wereWas there a voice in your head telling you to slow down?"

Harry thought about it for a minute, "I think so, but I wasn't paying attention."

Ginny nodded, "Yeah, me either. Something about when you kiss me makes it very hard for me to think straight."

Harry grinned wolfishly and held her tightly, "That's one legend I don't think I'll mind having!"

She swatted him on the arm, "Prat."

He put his head on her shoulder and she kissed the top. Harry grabbed a blanket off the back of the couch and spread it over the two of them. They dozed off and on, kissed a little, talked a little, but mostly spent the long night waiting, wondering and hoping for Remus's survival.

Harry and Ginny were both still sitting on the couch in the Common Room as the other students made their way downstairs the next morning. Both were pale and had dark rings beneath their eyes from lack of sleep. They were subdued and distant, each clinging to the others hand in desperation.

Hermione was one of the first people to come downstairs and she sat on the couch opposite them, looking over their drawn appearances with disapproval in her eyes. "Neither of you slept at all, did you? It'll do no one any good to make yourselves sick, you know."

"We know, Hermione," Ginny answered calmly, knowing Harry didn't have it him to respond. "We'd just hoped there would have been some news by now."

"No one has come by at all?" Hermione queried, casting a glance at the Portrait Hole with apprehension. "Well, its not like they expect you'd be up, there's nothing you can do."

Ginny shook her head, the dread in her belly increasing, feeling it couldn't be a good sign. She wanted to sidetrack Hermione before her logical analysis of the situation made Harry explode. As if on queue, the Portrait Hole swung open revealing the tired yet stern looking face of Professor McGonagall. "Harry," she said, her eyes softening slightly. "If you would come with me, please?"

Ginny felt Harry stiffen and grab her hand even more tightly as he slowly rose to his feet. He took hesitant steps towards her, as if his mind were rebelling against the direction his feet were carrying him. Both she and Hermione stood up too and joined him on each side where they stood shoulder to shoulder. Whatever happened, they weren't about to let Harry face it alone. As if understanding their silent solidarity, Professor McGonagall nodded slightly and allowed all three to follow her to her office. Harry was holding her hand so tightly it was painful.

Professor McGonagall closed the door and moved to her desk. Ginny shut her eyes and whispered a silent plea that this would be good news. She cast a sidelong look at Harry's profile, his face was a dark, expressionless mask, but Ginny could feel his anxiety nonetheless. "Please," she whispered to herself. "He's had all he can take."

Professor McGonagall's hard face softened and she smiled slightly, "I think I have some news that will please you. Remus Lupin survived the night. While he's still unconscious, the doctors are very encouraged that he should eventually make a full recovery."

Ginny felt Harry's body sag against her, almost like all the air being let out of a tire. It was as if the only thing keeping him standing after the endless days of worry was the need for that news. If it weren't for the support of Ginny and Hermione on either side of him, Ginny was certain he would have hit the floor. Just as suddenly as the energy had left him, it seemed to return in a blast as Harry let out a whoop of glee and picked Ginny off her feet spinning her around.

The joyous smile on his face filled Ginny's heart with tenderness as he exclaimed, "Did you hear that? He's going to be all right!" He spun her again before turning and doing the same thing to Hermione. Hermione was shocked but laughed in relief along with him. He leaned over and kissed Ginny full on the mouth and she hugged him tightly whispering silent words of thanks.

Professor McGonagall smiled in indulgence at her three students before adding, "Mr. Potter, Professor Dumbledore asked me to also inform you that your regular lessons will resume on Monday. He has recruited the help of an old friend of his to continue while Mr. Lupin is in hospital. You will be meeting with a Mr. Jonathan Taylor in the Room of Requirement. He asks that you keep this information to yourself.

Ginny noticed the questioning look Harry gave her, his eyes briefly flickering to indicate Hermione and her own presence. Professor McGonagall's mouth thinned into a line, "Come now, Mr. Potter, we are well aware that what you know, your friends know!" Harry's cheeks colored brightly but he offered no denial. Ginny knew he was far too caught up in his relief over Remus than to be too worried about Jonathan Taylor right now, that would come later.

Harry spent the remainder of the week preparing for the D.A. meeting. Tonks had used the fire in the Common Room to let him know Remus had woken up briefly but was still pretty out of it. With his tension over Remus's condition eased, Harry put his energy full force into the preparations. Since Professor Trent was highlighting dueling, he decided to set up some mock duels between the members of the D.A.

After the first few meetings, all the Slytherins had stopped attending. Most likely because of Professor's McGonagall's presence, Harry assumed. They were all back tonight however, and he groaned inwardly at their timing. Professor Trent had informed him that she'd referred some students to attend the dueling and wondered if this is what she and Malfoy had been arguing about_. Malfoy would certainly resent being sent to Harry for instruction._

"Welcome back!" Harry began. "The sixth years have been working on dueling techniques in DADA so I thought we'd begin tonight with some mock duels. Disarming only," he stressed, looking particularly hard at Malfoy. "Learning how to perform the spells is one thing, but in an actual battle, sometimes it's the ability to think on your feet that will be your greatest ally. This way, you'll get some idea on how you'll react."

"And are you going to be giving us a demonstration?" Malfoy drawled with a bored expression.

"No, why don't you do that for us, Draco?" Harry asked in the most polite voice he could muster. _He couldn't let Malfoy disrupt this class; he had to hold his temper!_

Malfoy's eyes squinted with malice, "Against you?"

"No, I'm instructing here tonight. Is there anyone else who'd like to duel first?" Harry asked, hoping he'd get a volunteer. He saw Ron's eyes light up with the potential of getting back at years of Malfoy's taunts. Harry tried not to catch his eye and look for someone else. A duel between Malfoy and Ron would get ugly fast. Before he could scan the room at all, Neville's voice rang out. "I'll do it."

Everyone turned to stare in surprise at the usually reticent boy. Malfoy was smirking, as if he couldn't be serious and Harry knew if anyone deserved a go at Malfoy, it was Neville. Harry had been thinking a lot about Neville and his role in the Prophecy lately. He had tossed the idea around of whether or not he should inform Neville of its contents but decided against it. Neville didn't need that kind of guilt.

It gave Harry a new appreciation for Dumbledore's predicament over when was the right time to tell Harry. Although he still felt the Headmaster had waited too long, he could better understand his reasoning. Dumbledore believes Harry is the one the Prophecy refers to. Harry was the one marked by the scar and somehow deep within his heart, he knew it was true. He'd always known on some level, the words of the Prophecy only sealed it. He and Voldemort were connected, and there could only be one way to break that bond. Neville didn't need to know that it could have been him. This was Harry's burden.

"Very good. Both of you come up to the front of the room and remember, the object of the duel is to disarm only."

Harry saw Professor McGonagall watching carefully, an expression of mixed dread and incredulity on her face. Harry leaned in close to Neville so only he could hear, "You can do this, Neville. You were great last year at the Department of Mysteries and Malfoy is by no means as good in battle as a Death Eater is. Don't let him intimidate you, his words are one of his weapons, use a silencing charm if you need to, but don't let him get to you. You can do this."

Neville smiled gratefully at Harry, the words of praise seeming to bolster him up. He still looked nervous, but determined also. Harry turned to face Malfoy, "You know the rules, I want a clean fight."

Malfoy nodded, "This should only take a moment."

The two opponents bowed at one another and took three steps back. Malfoy raised his arm first and drawled lazily, "_Expelliarmus_!"

Neville dodged with a grace that belied what they all knew about the clumsy boy. "_Stupefy_," he shouted and Malfoy barely got out of the way in time. Harry noticed the Slytherin's eyes widen in surprise and couldn't help the brief smirk he gave to Neville.

Both parried back and forth through a barrage of curses. Harry was pleased to note a sweat break out on Malfoy's forehead. Neville was sweating heavily as well, but his gaze was focused. Finally, Malfoy blasted a quick, _"Petrificus Totalis,"_ that Neville didn't quite get out of the way of and Malfoy disarmed him. Malfoy won the battle, but it was Neville who earned the respect of the others gathered there, most of whom had never seen him perform that well.

It took Malfoy a moment to shrug off the stunned expression he'd worn through most of the duel, but the smugness returned in force. Harry removed the curse from Neville and helped him to his feet. "You did well, Neville. You should be proud." Neville beamed and Harry could tell he was.

They went through several other match ups, including the quickest one of all between Ginny and Parvati with Ginny holding the older girl's wand before Parvati had even registered what happened. Harry couldn't help the pride that shone on his face.

As the meeting adjourned and Professor McGonagall left, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny remained to help Harry clean up the room. Harry noticed Malfoy staring at Ginny in a way he didn't like at all. Shutting his eyes and trying to close out the room around him, he attempted to pick up on the other boy's thoughts. He knew that by dating Ginny he'd made her a target, he wasn't about to let anything happen to her. If Malfoy was reporting back to anyone, Harry was going to find out about it!

He got flashes of desire, scorn, and the need for power. He detected a thought about what he'd like to do to Ginny after Harry was out of the way and he lost it. Launching himself at Malfoy and flinging him against the wall, he drew his fist back to strike a blow. Surprised, Ron caught him before he could make the connection and pulled him back.

"Harry! What the—" Ron began.

"You keep your filthy eyes and mind off her," Harry interrupted, snarling at Malfoy. Ron was struggling to hold him back as Harry fought to get closer to Malfoy.

Hermione and Ginny realized what was going on and moved between the two boys. "Just go, Malfoy," Hermione hissed.

"I'll go when I'm ready. What's going on with you, Potter? I wasn't looking at your," his eyes went up and down Ginny's body slowly, "girlfriend. And what did you mean by keep my mind off her? One would think you were trying to read my thoughts, but you certainly couldn't do that?"

Malfoy was looking at Harry calculatingly and Harry cursed under his breath for being so stupid. _How could he let Malfoy goad him like that?_

"Let's see if you can get in my head now. Here's a thought for you!" Malfoy taunted as he walked past Harry, brushing forcefully into his shoulder. Harry felt a slam of bitter anger as he picked up Malfoy's thoughts, _"You're dead, Potter. Sooner than you may think, you'll be a dead man and there is nothing you can do about it."_ Harry gasped against the rise of nausea and watched Malfoy's back with narrowed eyes.

"What was that all about?" Ginny demanded after he had left.

"Malfoy knows something," Harry replied. His eyes remained on the now empty spot Malfoy had disappeared from. Now he had to find out what it was.

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed! Please read and review and let me know! I couldn't kill Remus (yet anyway!), he's one of my favorites. Originally all the Dursleys were supposed to be offed in that battle. A good friend and fellow writer pointed out that I was only killing them because I hated them, not because it had anything to do with the plot! She was right (thanks NiceHobbitses!) and so the Dursleys lived. Again, for now.

I must admit, it also left me plenty of room for a sequel if I ever decide to do one! So anyway, I figured I'd fess up!

I saw the new JK Rowling site and read that Ginny's name is Ginevra! I was so happy to finally get an answer to that question! I tried to work it into this chapter, but it just didn't fit (but I did sneak it in to the next one!)


	29. Mr Jonathan Taylor

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Twenty-nine

Mr. Jonathan Taylor

January's bitter cold blended with February without the barest hint of change. Remus continued to gain strength as Harry began his training under the practiced hand of his new instructor. He wasn't sure what to expect that first morning he made his way to the Room of Requirement for his lesson. Whatever it was, it was certainly nothing like the actuality of Jonathan Taylor.

When Harry entered, an older, gray-haired man sipping tea greeted him. He had bright blue eyes and was impeccably dressed. He seemed to Harry to belong more in an office than defense training. He didn't exude any of Moody's alertness, Dung's cunning, or Kingsley Shacklebolt's control. In fact, he reminded Harry more of Percy than anyone else. Fastidious and well-groomed, looking very fitting drinking his tea but not as someone hired to teach Harry how to fight to save his life.

His lessons with Dumbledore on Legilimency had begun and the wizened professor was very interested in Harry's attempts to use it at the Burrow. He still felt slightly sick if he tried to use it in a crowd, but he could now easily detect thoughts. He never saw images as with the Occlumency, but Dumbledore said that would come with time and practice. He could accept the wisdom on that, but this new teacher?

What was Dumbledore playing at? He couldn't possibly be serious that this was the person who could train Harry to defeat a wizard as powerful as Voldemort? Harry's first impression was quickly dispelled and replaced with an overwhelming awe and respect for Mr. Taylor. Of course, that hadn't happened until he easily, and without even any effort, kicked Harry's ass for the umpteenth time that day.

The first thing his new instructor told him when he greeted him was that he was not a Professor, so don't call him one. His name was Jonathan Taylor, and Mr. Taylor would do. He was an Unspeakable who had lived out of the country most of the time. He returned to train Harry as a favor to Dumbledore. Harry couldn't help but wonder what it was he did as an Unspeakable but didn't feel comfortable enough to ask him yet. Harry remembered reading that his dad had been an Unspeakable too.

"The first thing we're going to do, Harry, is to see how far you've come in your training with your previous instructors. We'll start with the swords." He tossed Harry his sword without really even looking at him. Harry caught it deftly. He felt good about this task. He and Remus had come a long way in his training and he felt confident he could hold his own with the sword.

Mr. Taylor made the first jab and Harry managed to parry it. His next move had Harry flat on his back on the floor, his sword clanking down uselessly beside him. "Dead in under a minute." Mr. Taylor frowned. "We have a lot of work to do."

Harry got back on his feet feeling annoyed, he could do better than that! He picked up the sword and prepared to try again. This time, Mr. Taylor had him splayed on the ground in three moves, a thin cut on his face and his body feeling bruised. Harry was getting discouraged but beginning to take Mr. Taylor more seriously.

After about an hour of swordplay with Harry's body growing considerably more bruised, Mr. Taylor decided to call it quits. "All right then, Harry, let's move on to the Martial Arts before we test your dueling ability with a wand, shall we?"

Harry could hold his own against Tonks, he'd used his Martial Arts skills in the battle at the Burrow, but again, he was nothing against Mr. Taylor. "You're more advanced with this than the swords," he told Harry as he struggled to get up off the ground. "There is still much to learn."

Harry stood shakily on his feet until Mr. Taylor was back in position. They circled each other briefly before Harry made the first move. He kicked out to the side and actually made contact for the first time that day before Mr. Taylor's hand chopped down on Harry's thigh with such force he once again ended up on the ground. He curled his leg up and grimaced against the pain of a Charlie Horse.

"That was good, you actually got me. I'm impressed." He said this with a casual air as he strolled calmly around the room. He never attempted to help Harry up but waited patiently until he was on his feet. Harry found his calm demeanor unnerving and instead of being reminded of Percy, Harry was now thinking of some secret international spy characters he'd seen on the Dursley's telly.

By the time they got to use a wand, Harry was exhausted and could barely focus his mind to concentrate. Every inch of his body ached and he was covered with bruises that he knew wouldn't even appear until tomorrow. After Mr. Taylor had stunned him twice with no effort, he decided to call it quits for the day.

"I understand you've been running. That's good, I want you to continue. We'll work in the Quidditch pitch until the snow melts, then we'll move to running around the lake."

Harry's jaw dropped, "Around the lake? That has to be at least twelve kilometers! You want me to run around the lake every morning?"

"Yes, I do. You may have to get up earlier if you want to still have time for breakfast before you make it to class. I'll see you tomorrow and hopefully you'll be ready to work on some spells with more concentration than you showed today."

He left Harry speechless as he walked out of the room without so much as a Good Day. What had he gotten himself into? More accurately, what had Dumbledore gotten him into?

He slowly and painfully made his way back to the Common Room. He still had Charms and Potions this afternoon but he hoped that if he skipped lunch he could catch a quick nap before class.

The next few weeks went by in much the same way for Harry. On the days he trained with Mr. Taylor, he'd stumble into bed battered and exhausted. Ginny was furious about the amount of bruises covering him and he had to laugh at the Mrs. Weasley-like fierceness she displayed. He was afraid she'd march right up into Dumbledore's office and let him know in no uncertain terms what she thought of this new training. It was one evening in the Common Room after a day without a session with Mr. Taylor so he had the energy to stay up and play chess with Ron, that he realized Ginny did truly understand the importance of what he was doing.

Ron was watching Harry gingerly sit back down after getting up to use the loo when he queried on what exactly it was Harry was doing to get so beat up. As he explained the sessions as best he could, Ron exclaimed bluntly, "So he's teaching you how to kill?"

Harry couldn't help but flinch at the statement, despite its truthfulness. Ginny, who had been sitting on the couch and frantically doing some work in preparation for her OWLs, rounded on her brother. "He's teaching him how to survive!" she spat.

Ron's eyes flew open wide, "I'm sorry, mate. I know that. I didn't mean—"

"It's all right, Ron," Harry whispered quietly. "We're doing what has to be done. I just wish it didn't have to hurt so much!" he said ruefully, rubbing his aching back.

Ginny smiled sympathetically and rubbed his back with tenderness. She'd been busy with OWL work and neither had much time for the other these days so these brief encounters were cherished. Harry remembered how snowed under he'd felt with all the work last year and could understand her bouts of hysteria. All in all, he thought she was handling the year much better than he did.

It was some time during the second week that Mr. Taylor demonstrated his own proficiency with wandless magic. Harry was fascinated to learn he also had this capability. As far as Harry knew, the only other person he'd seen capable of it aside from himself was Professor Dumbledore. He assumed Voldemort could as well. He told Mr. Taylor about his use of it at the Burrow and they continued to practice.

"I'm not great with it, but I can get by in a pinch. From what I've heard of your abilities, you'll be a force to be reckoned with after you've learned to harness it," Mr. Taylor told him. Harry felt extremely pleased by the compliment. After several weeks of practice and constant trials, Harry knew the proper feelings he needed to use to harness it, and he continued to gain proficiency.

Despite the abuse he endured, Harry had grown very fond of his new instructor in the short span of time they'd worked together. He was tough and expected a lot, but he was fair and willingly gave credit where credit was due. He never once made comment about Harry's scar or who Harry was, and for that he was eternally grateful. Whenever he would get frustrated that Mr. Taylor seemed to know all about him, and he knew next to nothing about his instructor, he would drop Harry some brief, useless bit of information, such as, "I don't like Brussels Sprouts," or "the first girl I kissed was my next door neighbor. We were four."

Harry assumed Professor Dumbledore must have told him about the Prophecy and that was why Mr. Taylor had agreed to come and train Harry, but he'd never brought it up. Soon, his own curiosity began to eat at him and it was Harry who eventually brought the topic up.

"Were you part of the Order of the Phoenix during the first war?" Harry asked as they were finishing up a lesson and sitting down to share a cup of tea. They'd taken to doing this at the end of each lesson and Harry found he enjoyed the brief time they spent talking to each other. With both Remus and Tonks away, Harry wasn't aware of the void he felt for an adult to talk to until Mr. Taylor had filled it.

"I was, but only on the fringes. Most of the other members didn't even know of my existence. Dumbledore keeps some things hidden from everyone."

"Tell me about it," Harry muttered.

Mr. Taylor smiled and Harry saw what he thought was a brief glimmer of sadness behind his eyes before it was gone. "I suppose you better than anyone would be aware of that."

"Did he tell you about the Prophecy?"

"He did. Reluctantly, after I'd refused to come back when he asked me the first time."

"And why did that make you change your mind?"

Mr. Taylor laughed a brief, bitter sound, "For the chance to assist in taking down that bastard who calls himself Lord. You may be the one who's destined to actually do it, but I can train you with everything I know to help you succeed.

Harry was slightly taken aback by the venom in his statement. Everything he'd seen so far of Mr. Taylor had been so cool and emotionless. "What did he do to you?" Harry whispered knowingly.

Mr. Taylor stared at him hard for several moments before answering, "Much the same as he did to you. Killed my whole family, wife and two kids. She was Muggle born."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, you have nothing to be sorry for. You're the one who is going to make him pay."

Harry swallowed hard at the certainty of Mr. Taylor's words. "I'm going to try."

"You're going to succeed. I'm going to make sure of it. He's taken as much from you as he has from me, from anyone. You have the right to avenge your losses, no one can begrudge you that."

"Did you know my parents?"

"Not personally, only by reputation. Of course, everyone knew them afterwards, but before, your father worked in the same field as I. I never met him and only knew who he was by his connections to Dumbledore."

"In your workwhen you're on assignmenthave you ever had to kill anyone?"

"Yes," he nodded gravely. "And I remember each time, even those that occurred during the war when it happened frequently. I won't lie to you, Harry; it takes something out of you. But be happy it does, because if it didn't, you'd be on the other side."

Harry blinked at him in confusion.

"He's an evil monster, Harry," Mr. Taylor continued talking softly. "He'll continue to kill and destroy anything and anyone he feels necessary. This is war, and the rules are different. You know what has to be done. I'm not going to say it won't affect you, from the little I've learned about you in our time together I can tell that it will. Most likely deeply, but you have to focus on what you are saving, not on what you are destroying. You have people in your life that mean something to you, you're giving them the chance to live."

"Voldemort will still go after them if he kills you because of what they represent. He can't understand their love for you. Don't focus on the killing, focus on the life that destroying him will bring. He's not really human anymore, from what I understand, Harry. He has to be stopped. I'd love to be the one to do it, but I can't. This is your destiny, so I'll do my part to help you."

"I'm not sure how it will be done, but I'm confident you will find the way to do it. We're showing you how to defend yourself, for that, in essence is what you are doing. He will not allow you to survive, your survival depends on you!"

"How can he be killed though?" Harry whispered his greatest concern.

"I think it will come down to hand to hand combat. Your magic is strong, but so is his and from what I understand, your wands don't work against one another. Dark magic is tricky business, Harry. A child could use a Muggle handgun and kill someone else without any realization of what he's done. Magic doesn't work that way, you have to have knowledge of the spell and what you're doing to make it work properly."

"Dark Magic takes that up another level entirely. To perform the Killing Curse you have to have some powerful hate behind it. I understand you're capable of the Patronus Charm, there aren't many wizards who can master that. It comes from the same kind of intense emotion but on the other end of the scale. It's not in you to hate like you would need in order to perform the Killing Curse, so we have to find another way for you to destroy him."

Harry's head was spinning and his heart was pounding painfully as he walked back to the Common Room. Voldemort would kill his friends even if he were already gone, but more likely, he'd want Harry to watch it and make him suffer first. He could understand what Mr. Taylor was talking about, but he didn't know if he could just push those thoughts aside.

Everyone kept telling him that his friends were his strength and Voldemort couldn't understand the love he felt for him. If he loved them so much though, shouldn't he try to push them out of his life and away from this? Wasn't he being selfish for needing them so? But even if he pushed them away, Voldemort would still use them to get to him. He couldn't just turn his feelings off, he didn't know how! He didn't even know how they started or where they came from. There was no way to just stop caring.

Harry sighed in frustration, there were times when he wished he could wake up and find himself in the cupboard beneath the stairs and find out this was all just a dream. But then he'd realize that would mean there were no Weasleys, or Hermione, or Moony and he knew he didn't want that at all. He just wished this all could be over.

He went to bed that night with a very heavy heart. His friends had done their best to cheer him up to no avail. He appreciated the effort, but his spirits felt just too heavy to be lifted. He should have expected it to be a rough night. The dreams began almost instantly.

It started out on his broomstick, flying over the Quidditch pitch. When he landed however, the broom started attacking him and he needed to use a stick as a sword against it. Soon there were many brooms all in battle as if swords.

The scene flickered and changed and he was in the Room of Requirement. Ron and Hermione were both their dressed as Ninja warriors and kicking at him while he tried to sidestep, demanding, "What's going on? Ron! Hermione! Stop!"

It flickered again, the Common Room this time. Dean, Neville, and Seamus were using Muggle handguns against the other occupants of the room, laughing and giving each other high-fives as they shot.

"What's wrong with you? What are you doing?" he screamed. He saw a bullet coming towards him in slow motion before everything flickered again.

Next he found himself in the Chamber of Secrets. He could see Ginny lying on the floor, but it wasn't Ginny at eleven, it was Ginny as she looked nowand she wasn't breathing.

"Ginny! Ginny, wake up! You have to wake up, we have to get out of here!" He kept shaking her lifeless body. He looked around the Chamber, it was dark and empty and eerily silent. He could see the remains of the Basilisk skeleton on the floor.

His heart clenched painfully, "Ginny, please!"

She turned her head and opened her eyes, dead, lifeless eyes with none of their sparkle, "Why didn't you come, Harry?"

He shook his head in revulsion and took several steps back, "Ginny"

The eyes turned to red and a hideous laugh that didn't' belong anywhere near Ginny emitted from her mouth. "So here we are again, Potter," Voldemort as Ginny hissed.

"Let her go!" Harry demanded.

"My dear, loyal servant Lucius told me all about the bond I share with Ginny, here. She will be loyal to me!"

"You leave her alone!"

"I can feel your desire to protect her, but she was so useful to me in that role before. Led you right to me, as I understand. Let's face it, Harry," the way he spoke reminded Harry of his manipulative tone during Harry's encounter with him first year. Then he'd wanted Harry to join him, promising to resurrect his parents. "Protecting the ones you care about isn't exactly your strong suit, is it?"

After the Voldemort/Ginny monster finished speaking, she disappeared from the spot on the floor where she had lain. Harry glanced around the room frantically but Ginny was gone. He was alone again

He woke up panting, his body drenched in sweat. He sat up sharply and buried his head in his hands. _Voldemort knew about Ginny!_ This was all his fault. He never should have let her get close, he was like a walking time bomb! Harry wrapped his arms around himself and lay back down, drawing up his knees in a fetal position. When would this ever stop? Harry lay in bed pondering his life that night, sleep never returned to claim him.

Harry spent the next several days avoiding spending any time alone with Ginny when possible. He'd claim he was either too tired or too busy and repeatedly pushed her away. He'd told Dumbledore about his dream, but the Headmaster insisted that Ginny was safe while at Hogwarts. Voldemort was trying to rattle him and he couldn't let him succeed. That was easier said than done.

Both Ron and Hermione tried to find out what was going on to no avail. Even if he couldn't change how he felt about her, some distance couldn't hurt appearances. Somebody was paying attention and reporting back to Voldemort.

He was sitting up late in the Common Room one night, Tonks had promised a fire call to talk about Remus. He was consciousness now and asking incessantly about Harry. The others had all gone up to bed, even Ginny. She'd had enough of Harry's distance and was pointedly ignoring him.

"You know where to find me when you're ready to talk!" She yelled as she stormed up the stairs in a huff that left Harry feeling even worse than before.

He saw the flames turn green and Tonks' head appeared. Her hair looked blue today with little streaks of purple blended in. Harry couldn't help but smile, he missed Tonks.

"Wotcher, Harry!"

"Hullo, Tonks. How's Moony today?"

"He's better and beginning to drive them all crazy with his petitions to get out of there! I think by the end of the week that we may have him back at Grimmauld Place. It's going to take a lot longer to get him back to full strength than I think he realizes, but he's getting there. He's anxious to see you!"

"I want to see him, too."

"What's wrong, kid? You look like you just lost your best friend."

Harry shrugged and avoided looking in her eyes, "Something like that."

"You and Ginny having a spat?"

"No, not really. It's just, ercomplicated."

"You like her. She likes you. It's not that complicated, Harry. Don't you dare push her away over some misguided notion that you're protecting her!"

"He'll go after her to get to me!"

"He'll go after her anyway. Don't let him take away the parts of your life that make it worth living. Your parents did more living in their short lives than most people do with a lifetime."

Harry was confused. She was saying the same things everyone else had said, and somewhere inside he knew it was true, but it was still so hard! He just wanted her safe, and alive!

"I don't want her hurt," he whispered brokenly.

"Ever had a broken heart, Harry? It really doesn't get much worse. Don't make her feel like she doesn't care if she survives. Her feelings are her own and you have no control over them. This is her decision, not yours. I know what I'm talking about. I've been on the receiving end of one of these nobility complexes. They bite. I'm sure you're being a total prat, but that's part of being a teenage boy and she'll forgive you. I know you're trying to do what's right, and I'm sure you'll make the right decision."

"Have a good night, Harry!" Tonks finished as she disappeared from the fire.

Harry sat there for a while thinking. _Do the right thing?_ What was the right thing and why was it always so hard to see?

The next day passed much the same as the ones before. Mr. Taylor beat him to a pulp during Martial Arts training; Professor Snape sneered and told him he'd messed up his potion; Ron was no longer talking to him, angry over his treatment of Ginny; and GinnyGinny wouldn't even look at him.

He knew he had to talk to her, explain his concerns. He just didn't really know how to do that. He'd never been very good with all this feelings stuff. He rubbed his eyes beneath his glasses tiredly, he really needed a good night's sleep.

The Common Room was empty when he entered, and he was on his way over to the staircase to throw his book bag upstairs when he ran into Ginny coming down. She averted her eyes and went to go around him when he grabbed her arm, "Ginny."

She looked at him coldly, although her eyes blazed an intense fire beneath the chocolate brown. "Finally decided I'm worthy of your time?" she snapped.

"It's not like that, Ginevra," he gritted out, using the long form of her name he knew she hated.

"No? Why don't you tell me what it is like then, Harry, since I'm not the Legilimens here and can't read your bloody mind!"

Harry flinched slightly at her fury, this was going to be harder than he thought. When Ginny was angry, she lashed out and usually hit her mark with unerring accuracy. "I'm trying to protect you!"

"Protect me? Protect me_?" Oh oh, he knew instantly that was the wrong choice of words to start out with._

"I don't need your protection, Harry, nor do I want it. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, in case you haven't noticed while you've been moping about."

"I'm not moping." Harry was really getting angry now and the color in his face had risen to match hers.

"No? What do you call it then? You go off and brood and won't let any of us in when we're just trying to help. I thought we moved past all this, Harry! I thought we'd finally broken through and you accepted we're in this for the long haul! Whether you like it or not!" They were standing toe to toe, fists clenched and glaring at one another while they screamed their fury.

"I do know you want to help! I also know he'll kill you for the simple reason that you care! It's dangerous to be around me!"

"That is my choice to make! I won't let him dictate what I do and don't do with my life EVER AGAIN! Do you get that? I've loved you for as long as I can remember. It's my choice to wait for you, to fight for you, to stand by you! I'm always here and always will be. There is nothing you can do to change that!"

Harry was stunned by her words. He wasn't even sure how it happened; one minute they were standing opposite each other screaming and the next he had grabbed her upper arms and pulled her close to kiss her passionately. She responded in kind and the air was charged with electricity as he clung to her as fiercely as she did to him.

They only broke apart at the sound of the Portrait Hole opening. Other students began filing in as classes had ended for the day. They stood there, chests heaving, panting heavily, and looking at each other. Both slightly confused over what had happened and not sure where they stood in their fight.

__

Bloody Hell, how did they go from a blazing row to snogging each other senseless in the blink of an eye? They stood there staring at one another before he gently took her hand and moved to the couch, talking quietly so as not to be overheard. Harry was aware that both Parvati and Lavender, who had been observing their fight over the past several days, were straining their ears to hear what was going on.

"I had a dream the other night, Ginny. Voldemort knows about us, he knows that you mean something to me and about what happened in the Chamber. I'm afraid he'll try to get to you again and I can't let that happen," he sighed. His mind was reeling, she had just admitted she loved him? How could she love him? _Why would she? _No one had ever said those words to him before and he couldn't even begin to wrap his thoughts around it.

Ginny's eyes had flown open wide at the mention of the Chamber. She swallowed visibly and he could feel her body tremble. "Then I'll have to be extra careful and take some of the same precautions you do, won't I?" She seemed so lost in thought that he was tempted to try and read her thoughts but didn't want to anger her again.

"Ginny, I think the best way to keep you safe is to keep you far away from me."

"Will that change your feelings?" she asked abruptly.

"What? No, of course not! But"

"Then it won't really matter, will it? He can get in your mind and know your heart. I'm not going anywhere, Harry."

He dropped his head in defeat. Truth be told, he didn't want to give her up, but he wanted to protect her too.

She used a finger to raise his chin until he met her gaze, "You've got this crazy notion that you can give up your life for anyone you care about, but we're crazy if we're willing to do the same for you. You may not have a family in the traditional sense, but you do have a family who loves you and would do anything for you. We want you safe, Harry. Safe and healthy, and happy, and whole."

Harry wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. "I do need you," his voice was muffled as he held her tightly. "But I don't understand why you want to risk so much for me_." That was it, she loved him as family, the way Ron and Hermione do._

Ginny could hear the tremble in his voice, begging for reassurance and she cursed the Dursley's silently for the millionth time for making him feel so unworthy of simple love. In the heat of her anger, she'd admitted her love for him and now felt very insecure herself about doing so. It was true, however, and he seemed to need to hear it, "Well I do, and that's my choice to make!"

Harry used his thumb to brush against the swell of her cheek. "It's going to get worse before it gets better. If it ever gets better."

She turned her face to lean into his hand. "It will. You have to believe that!"

Harry turned his tortured gaze to meet her eyes. "I'm so bloody scared, Gin. I don't know what I'm going to do." He hung his head in defeat as if admitting that he was scared had cost him some great internal price.

Ginny wrapped her arms around him. "You will do this, Harry. I know you will. I wish I could do it myself for all he's put you through."

"Don't say that! I don't want you anywhere near him, and most certainly not over me."

"Why not? You did it for me–when you were twelve."

"ItThat's not" he faltered.

"Why now, Harry? I know you said you had a nightmare, but why are you all of a sudden pushing me away again now? Something else must have happened?"

Harry sighed and leaned his head back against the couch. "It's been all these defense lessons with Mr. Taylor. He's good, and I'm learning a lot. We've talked a bit about ending it and how it can be done. I don't knowI guess I've just been thinking a lot more about it. The reality of the situations isn't good, Ginny. Do you really want to stick around and watch me die?"

"You are NOT going to die," she spat fiercely. "Don't start thinking that way or we've already lost. This isn't fair, Harry. I know it isn't. But it is what it is, and this is what we have to work with. You have to do this, but you will never be alone!"

Harry realized there were other eyes in the Common Room watching them now and trying to figure out what they were talking about so intensely. He assumed they'd be the topic of the rumor mill again tomorrow. He kissed Ginny lightly on the lips before saying, "Thanks, Ginny, for everything. I think I'm going to head up to bed."

Her gaze, so fierce a moment ago, softened instantly. "That's a good idea, you look exhausted. Promise me next time it all starts to get to you that you'll talk to me about it?"

"Deal. At leastI'll try."

"I suppose that's about the best I can expect from you, Mr. Hero."

"Yeah! All hail the Bloody Boy-Who-Lived," he said bitterly.

"No," Ginny replied sternly. "Try the Bloody Boy_friend_-Who's-Going-To-Get-His-Arse-Kicked if he doesn't stop trying to take on everything himself."

Harry couldn't keep his face straight as his lips started to twitch and he chuckled out loud. "I like that title better. Can I keep that one?"

"You got it!"

"Night, Gin."

"Night, Harry."

A/N: Okay, in my original outline for this story (which has been rewritten so many times I've now lost count!), the separation between Harry and Ginny was supposed to go on for several chapters. It just didn't work that way. I think (hope) that Harry has done some growing over the year and it wasn't working to keep them apart just to torture you! Ginny wouldn't have it! Anyway, this is how it came out instead


	30. Preparations

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Thirty

Preparations

Valentine's Day was approaching and the students were unhappy with their inability to go to Hogsmeade for some Valentine's fun. It led to some creativity on the part of young couples throughout the castle trying to come up with other alternatives.

Trying to placate the angry upperclassmen, Professor Dumbledore had arranged for a Valentine's feast. The four long House tables would be split into a series of tables for two, with larger ones available for groups of friends and the younger students. Both Ron and Harry put their names on a reservation list for tables for two.

Still, it left them on their own to come up with something romantic to do for the day. Ron, who had forgiven Harry, although still grumbled that he thought Harry was over that pushing people away' thing, told him that he had plans for the Room of Requirement. He'd asked Dobby to set up a romantic luncheon for Hermione and warned Harry, in no uncertain terms, not to interrupt.

This left Harry needing to find something else. A thought finally occurred to him when he and Ginny were casually discussing Christmas Eve and the ornaments they'd hung on the tree. He asked her about the images on hers and she explained the swing was her favorite thing at the Burrow when she was a kid. Mr. Weasley had hung it from and old Oak tree and she would spend hours swinging as high as she could. She was never very good about taking turns and her brothers still teased her about it.

There was indeed a lightening bolt on her ornament, she admitted with a bright red blush. Fred and George had put it there years ago, teasing her about her crush on Harry. He chuckled over this, realizing as he saw it that he'd missed that bright red stain on her cheeks that used to appear when he was around. He missed the elbows in the butter dish, too. He didn't admit that to her, however.

Harry went out early on Valentine's morning and transfigured some sticks into a makeshift swing, hanging it on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest, near Hagrid's hut. He left a large box of assorted chocolates resting on top. He wouldn't tell Ginny what he had planned and she was acting like a little kid trying to get it out of him.

At breakfast Hedwig delivered her a note asking her to meet him by the front door after lunch. He was surprised when a school owl dropped a card off to him as well. He glanced at Ginny nervously; slightly afraid it was going to sing. She grinned at him impishly as if knowing what he was thinking and stuck her tongue out at him.

Thankfully, the card didn't sing, but instead was hand decorated with Snitches and Broomsticks while the inscription read, _"To my favorite SeekerFrom your Golden Snitch."_

Quidditch and Ginny, what more could he want from a day? He smiled and put her card on his nightstand. He suddenly realized that the thing he appreciated most about Ginny was her ability to make him laugh, even when he felt there was nothing to laugh about.

He loved the sound of her laughter, light and rich and melodious. He could instantly pick it out across the crowded Common Room and it always made him want to laugh with her. She also had the ability to make him angry quicker than anyone else he knew as well! His mind still traveled back to that row in the Common Room and how furious he had been with her. If anyone had told him they would have ended up kissing like that, he never would have believed it possible. He still felt apprehensive about her safety, but was trying to accept that it was her decision to make.

The trouble always came when he was alone. When he was with her, he wanted nothing else but to always be with her. It was when he was alone in his dormitory, pondering his dreams or Voldemort's latest exploits, that everything became less clear. The easy solution would be to always keep her with him, but that just wasn't feasible.

He was waiting for her with his Firebolt when she arrived after lunch. She grinned at him and swung her leg over the back of his broom. There was no awkwardness this time as she pressed her body close and huddled against him. "Where to, my Valentine?" she breathed huskily into his ear causing shivers to run down his spine and all the blood in his veins to rush south.

"You'll see," he grinned, taking off towards the sky, thankful for his bulky Hogwarts robes. They had fun riding for a while before Harry eventually brought the broom down to rest next to the swing. Ginny squealed in delight, jumping off his broom and sprinting towards it. "Harry, you didn't! I can't believe how sweet you are! Go on, give me a push!"

Harry laughed and began pushing her higher and higher, delighting in her squeals. They spent the afternoon outside, each taking turns and eventually swinging with her sitting on his lap facing him. He pulled the ribbon from hair and watched as the golden red tresses span out in the wind. Summoning the chocolates from where they had placed them on the ground, he asked, "What flavor filling do you like?"

"Hmmmm. If it's chocolate, Harry, I pretty much like them all."

"Try this one, then," he chuckled, giving her one with strawberry nougat.

"Mmmm," she sighed, licking the chocolate from her lips. He watched her in fascination without realizing she'd been trying to get his attention for several minutes.

"Harry! Where were you? Some place warm and tropical I hope?"

"Sorry?"

"I asked you which one was your favorite."

"Oh! I like the vanilla filled ones."

She pulled one out and instead of handing it to him, proceeded to place in his mouth, a gesture he found strangely erotic. He swallowed visibly, not even tasting the candy as she leaned in and kissed him hard. They shared the chocolate, enjoying the sensation of tasting it off each other's lips. He found he really enjoyed Valentine's day this year and thought this date was much better than any old trip to Madam Puddifoot's would have been.

February turned into March and the snow gradually melted from the Hogwarts grounds. On the first of March, Ron celebrated his seventeenth birthday. The plan was for Harry to get Ron out to the Quidditch pitch for some practice and pre-season strategy, while the girls set up a party in the Common Room. Getting Ron to agree to anything to do with Quidditch wasn't difficult. Their next game would be against Slytherin and Ron was anxious to get practices underway.

Harry was the last one remaining in the dorm that morning, he'd had a rough night sleeping and tried to lie in a little to make up for it. He began untying the string on his pajama bottoms, planning on taking a quick shower before heading out with Ron. He'd taken to sleeping shirtless since that night of the infamous after party when he couldn't get his pajamas on. He'd discovered he liked the freedom of not wearing the shirt when sleeping.

Since his row with Ginny, his nightmares had resumed with intense frequency. He'd done his best to cover the dark circles beneath his eyes, but knew his friends were worrying. He had promised Ginny he'd talk to them rather than pushing them away, but it wasn't so easy to just change the habits of a lifetime.

He let the hot water of the shower spray over him, invigorating him and readying him to face the day. He practiced his wandless magic by summoning his clothes to him in the stall without fail. His skill had improved greatly and he now found himself hiding it from others when his natural inclination seemed to lean more and more towards using it. He'd already far surpassed what Mr. Taylor was able to do.

He grabbed his Firebolt and walked with Ron over to the pitch. The day was chilly, but the sun was shining and it felt good to be outdoors. Harry noticed more birds flying about than he'd seen on his morning runs and welcomed these harbingers of Spring.

"We have to really begin pushing Kirke and Sloper," Ron was saying. "Crabbe and Goyle are brutal with the Bludgers. The way Slytherin won their game against Hufflepuff was by injuring all three of their Chasers. We've got to work on our Beaters to keep control of the Bludgers. It's the only way Ginny, Katie, and Holly stand a chance!"

Harry didn't much like the idea of Ginny's only chance of escaping an injury being Jack Sloper or Andrew Kirke. They were definitely better than last year, but by no means outstanding.

"Of course," Ron said. "With you playing, I'm sure Malfoy has instructed them to take you out at all cost. He knows from past experience that he couldn't beat you otherwise."

Harry ignored Ron's last comment, but knew he was right about the Beaters. More than likely, he would be their primary target, and that was good for Ginny's sake anyway.

He and Ron continued to strategize and generally have a good time tossing the Quaffle back and forth. Harry realized that it had been a long time since just the two of them and done anything together and he'd missed it. He adored Ginny and Hermione, but sometimes it was good to just have some bloke time' with Ron.

"So," Harry ventured. "Does Hermione have anything special planned for your birthday?" He tried to keep his face innocent, but he couldn't _not_ acknowledge Ron's birthday, that would tip him off for sure.

"I'm sure she's up to something," Ron said, a grin spreading over his freckled face.

Harry grinned back, "You are so whipped!"

"I am not! Look who's talking."

"Nah, I still don't do my homework until the last minute. Tell me Ron, when are you planning to do your essay for Trent?"

Ron's ears turned red and he mumbled something unintelligible.

"What was that? Didn't quite catch it." Harry needled him.

"I already did it, all right? That doesn't make me whipped, it makes me smart enough to take her help on homework when I can get it."

Harry laughed out loud, "Whatever you say, mate." He tossed the Quaffle at him with force and sped off in the opposite direction. Ron caught it and managed to hold his balance, quickly giving chase.

When Ron caught up to him, he hurled the Quaffle and Harry had to dodge the force of blow. Ron laughed, as Harry had to maneuver quickly to scoop up the Quaffle. "So, you and Ginny are getting on all right these days?" Ron ventured speculatively.

Harry's spine stiffened slightly, they had to get something straight, and now was as good a time as any. "Listen, Ron, I know that you're only trying to protect her. I am, too. I'm just not exactly clear on the best way to do that. No matter what happens, even though I'm not trying to hurt her, we _will_ have more rows. This is Ginny we're talking about. You're going to have to stay out of it, and let us work it out."

Ron sighed heavily. "I know that. It's just hard; she's my sister. She was hurt and you were acting like a git."

"I'm aware of that, Ron, but how would you like it if I threatened to bash your head in every time you and Hermione had a row and you acted like a git?"

Ron laughed, "Harry, you'd have to beat me up on practically an hourly basis! I hear what you're saying though, and I'll try to back off. But no more of this ditching us for our own protection stuff. We all know the risks, and think they're worth taking. Sometimes you act like you think we're going to be abducted right out of the castle or something."

Harry zoomed away without making any promises, although he was touched by Ron's words. He led his friend towards the supply shed. "We'd better head inside, I'm sure the girls are wondering what's keeping us." He tried to sound casual but knew Ron was looking at him suspiciously.

"Okay, Potter, spill it. What's going on with you lot?"

Harry blinked innocently, "What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean." Ron glared at Harry for a few moments but Harry remained mute, returning the stare.

"Are you trying to look in my head? You better not be using that Legilimency on me to see if I know about the surprise party, Harry."

"Give me a break, Ron. There isn't enough in your head to spy on. Besides, I wouldn't do that without your permission. That time before I didn't know I could do it."

Ron's expression softened, "I know, just please tell me Fred and George aren't coming."

Harry smiled. "Well, I can't promise anything. You know them, they just show up. I'm not sure George would be up for it yet though. Pretend to be surprised, okay? Hermione and Ginny worked hard on this. And whatever you do, don't tell them I gave it away."

Ron clapped him on the back. "I could really hold this one over on you, mate."

"But you won't," Harry replied confidently as the two friends made their way back to the Common Room.

It was dark as they walked in and the room appeared empty. Ron glanced around in confusion before his housemates yelled, "Surprise!" A huge cake appeared on the table decorated with a Keeper guarding three hoops.

"Happy Birthday, Ron," Hermione said, kissing him lightly on the lips.

Ron beamed, thoroughly enjoying the spotlight and being the center of attention. He pushed his hair back in a gesture that reminded Harry of his father in Snape's Pensieve. Neville led him over to where a huge stack of presents was piled in the corner.

The Gryffindors spent a grand Saturday afternoon celebrating Ron's birth with no visit from the twin's in sight.

As March pressed on and the weather brightened, Harry began taking his morning run around the lake. Despite all the practice on the Quidditch pitch, that first morning he thought he was going to keel over and die right on the grounds. He'd dragged his shaking limbs back inside and even Mr. Taylor took pity on him and went rather easy on him that day. Easy for Mr. Taylor, that was.

As the weeks went by, Harry's endurance and stamina improved and he found he actually enjoyed the running. It was a good way to burn off steam and it left him tired enough that he slept peacefully. He asked Ron if he wanted to join him some morning and Ron had looked at him like he had three heads. "Get up at five in the morning, to run all the way around the bloody lake? With no one chasing you?"

Harry hadn't asked him again. He'd noticed neither Ginny or Hermione had volunteered either.

Malfoy, on the other hand, had noticed his early morning runs and had taken to positioning himself somewhere each day so that Harry would be forced to run right by him. He was surprised, as he'd never pictured Malfoy as an early riser. As he ran past, he'd noticed the blonde's eyes narrow dangerously, as if in intent concentration.

It didn't take long to realize Malfoy was trying to project his thoughts towards Harry. He was testing to see if Harry could actually read his mind. The thoughts were usually about Ginny, sometimes about Sirius, or even Voldemort. Anything the Slytherin thought would get a reaction. Harry fought hard to control his emotions and not lash out, knowing that's what Malfoy wanted. He had made a mistake at the DA and revealed too much, now he had to cover. He couldn't confirm Malfoy's suspicions that he could perform Legilimency.

He desperately tried to conceal the twitch that Malfoy's thoughts always brought on as he ran past him with the most unconcerned face he could muster. He could see the frustration growing on Malfoy's face each day and that made it worthwhile for Harry. What he'd really like to do was jump on him and pummel those thoughts about Ginny right out of his ugly head. He practiced his deep breathing exercises to try and calm his hostile emotions.

The running really helped him burn a lot of that pent up aggression and he was grateful for it. Generally, he'd put in a huge burst of speed each time he went by Malfoy. It was also strengthening him physically, as he learned to his great surprise one afternoon while sparring with Mr. Taylor.

Harry felt he'd come a huge distance with his Fencing technique since that first day he'd practiced with Remus. He and Mr. Taylor had each worked up a good sweat as they parried back and forth. The match had gone on for some time. At first, Mr. Taylor shouted out directions like, "Keep your sword up higher," or "Lean slightly to the left," but soon they had lapsed into silence with the intensity of the fight.

Every once in a while, Mr. Taylor would drop a brief fact about himself, trying to interrupt Harry's concentration. Silly, useless things such as, "I never sleep past seven o'clock," or "I always use three sugars in my coffee. One should take advantage of anything that can make life less bitter." Harry had grown accustomed to this trick and was succeeding in ignoring him. Mr. Taylor had done this frequently from the beginning, particularly after realizing that any fact about Quidditch was sure to rouse Harry's attention. He'd told him he was a Chaser, and a right good one at that.

Harry lunged quickly and rolled on his back to escape Mr. Taylor's thrust. He quickly jumped to his feet and raised his sword, clanking it down hard on his opponent's weapon. Mr. Taylor fell to the ground, his sword falling uselessly beside him. Harry stood there looking stunned; it was the first time he'd ever won a round.

Mr. Taylor slowly got to his feet. "Congratulations, Mr. Potter. Well done. It's been a very long time since I was so deftly beaten."

"II'm sure it was a fluke," Harry began lamely.

"Never apologize for winning using your skill, Harry. You beat me fair and square, the praise is well earned. Accept it graciously."

"Thank you," he murmured.

"You've earned yourself a break. Lesson over for the day. Would you care for a cup of tea?"

Harry was both awestruck and elated. For the first time since Dumbledore had revealed the Prophecy to him, he felt that he actually had a chance of winning this fight. If he could beat Mr. Taylor, who certainly was more skilled and practiced with a sword than he was, even if it was just a fluke, then he also stood a chance against Voldemort. As they sat down for tea, he asked, "Any more thought on how you think Voldemort can be beaten?"

"Well, if you continue improving like this, I'd like to think you'd do it with Godric Gryffindor's sword!"

Harry laughed, "Like the Basilisk? I don't think so, Lucius Malfoy has already told him about that."

"Yes, I suppose you're right. We'll come up with something that isn't Dark."

Harry was silent for a few minutes, pondering. Taking a deep breath to steel his nerve, he admitted what had been plaguing him for months. "At the Ministryafter she killed SiriusI used the Cruciatus on Bellatrix Lestrange." He painfully swallowed the lump that had risen in his throat remembering that night.

Mr. Taylor remained silent for a long time until finally Harry raised his eyes to look at his instructor.

"Dumbledore told me," he stated simply, surprising Harry that Dumbledore knew. "Keep that to yourself, Harry. There is no need for that information to fall into the wrong hands. How did it make you feel?"

"Sorry?"

"Did it make you feel powerful? Did you get pleasure from causing her pain?"

Harry was confused. "I didn't get pleasure, it didn't even work."

"Exactly. The fact you didn't get pleasure even though she'd just killed the person closest to you, is very significant. It's how I know that you'd never be able to perform a killing curse either. It speaks volumes about your character, Harry. It isn't something to be proud of, but I don't think you are."

"No, sir. But I wanted to hurt her."

"Of course you did, that's normal. You wanted her to hurt the way you were hurting, but not to hurt her for the sake of hurting. There is a difference. What you really wanted was to change what happened, to bring Sirius back. There isn't a spell in existence that could do that, however."

They finished their tea in silence, considering what had happened, both in their conversation and during the duel. Afterwards, Harry made his way back to the Common Room to share his success with the others.

In addition to the heavy physical training Mr. Taylor was putting him through, Harry had Ron to contend with. Quidditch practices had resumed and Ron's intensity was as strong as ever. He'd scheduled practices at every opportunity and trained them all with vigor. His obsession sometimes had him up as early as Harry, although not running around the lake. Instead he'd sit in the Common Room and go over the Strategy Book while moving miniature Quidditch players on a board his brothers had given him for his birthday.

Ginny and Andrew Kirke, who were both preparing for their O.W.L.s, were growing more and more exasperated with Ron's practice schedule. Ginny finally told him to go ahead and practice, but she wouldn't be there. Ron settled down slightly, but not much. He did grant both Ginny and Andrew some extra slack. Katie, who was studying for her N.E.W.T.s, also told Ron she needed to have time to study in addition to Quidditch. He went around muttering something about, "Since when had everyone turned into miniature Hermiones?"

The day of the Slytherin match dawned colder than the preceding week had been, with heavy gray skies. Harry hoped it would be a quick game and that they could finish before the rain set in. He joined the team for breakfast in the Great Hall and tried to eat heartily, remembering the last game and how long he'd had to go without eating. He didn't have much of an appetite, however, and looking around the table at the team, no one else appeared to be eating much either.

The Slytherin match was always dirty, and this year Malfoy was acting as if he had something to prove. Tensions among the students had been running high all week. Madam Pomfrey was exasperated with the number of scrapes, scuffs, and fight injuries she had to tend to. Malfoy had been particularly smug inciting choruses of _Weasley is Our King,_ attempting to rattle Ron. For his part, Ron seemed to be handling it better than he had last year. A win and some confidence had gone a long way in improving his self-esteem.

Harry walked to the changing rooms, hand in hand with Ginny. Her face was pale with fatigue. He knew she'd been staying up late every night studying. Her gaze was steely, however, and he could detect the same thrill of the competition that he felt. "Stay alert up there, Gin, and watch out for those Bludgers," he warned.

"I'll be fine, Harry. Don't you be worrying about me, you just watch out for yourself. You're the one they'll most likely be aiming for. Don't go and try catching any Bludgers this time."

"Ha Ha, very funny."

Ginny tweaked his nose as she ran towards the girl's changing room yelling, "You're so cute!"

Harry blushed and headed towards the boy's door, a very contented grin splayed across his face. He changed into his scarlet Quidditch robes and joined the rest of the team. None of the Weasleys were in attendance this time, and Tonks was tending Remus, who was now finally back at Grimmauld Place and recovering nicely. He wasn't up to travelling to Hogwarts yet, however. He peered out into the stands and saw Mr. Taylor sitting with Professor Dumbledore. He was dressed in Gryffindor colors, which pleased Harry immensely. One of the little facts Mr. Taylor had told Harry during their duels was that he'd been in Ravenclaw. He was wearing red and gold today in support of Harry.

Ron gave his motivational speech and ended it by telling Harry to, "Catch the Snitch and _try_ not to get hurt this time."

Harry responded with a very rude gesture.

They all went onto the field as Luke Donovan's droll voice introduced them. Ron and Malfoy approached each other with loathing, each trying to break the other's hand as they shook. Harry thought it resembled a clash of the titans as the two rivals stood there glaring at one another. Finally, Madam Hooch broke them apart and the game was on.

As expected, Crabbe and Goyle went at it quickly, slamming the Bludgers toward Harry and the Chaser's with malice. Crabbe seemed to be focused on Harry while Goyle lobbed the heavy balls towards each of the Chasers. Harry held his breath as one narrowly missed hitting Ginny in the head. She whipped her head around, glaring at Goyle and giving Harry an impudent smirk in the span of a second. _She really was something_, Harry thought as he dodged yet another Bludger.

Katie Bell scored for Gryffindor first, with Ginny getting another one in rapid succession. This only further enraged the Slytherins and the game descended rapidly into a series of Penalty shots. Gryffindor managed to keep a slight lead, but just barely. Whoever caught the Snitch would win this game.

Harry scanned the pitch, willing the Snitch to appear with his mind. _Come on._ Big, fat raindrops began to fall, rapidly turning into icy pellets. Harry could see his breath through his fogged glasses and quickly performed an _Impervious_ charm. He heard a grunt as he was doing so and turned in alarm to see Holly Proctor falling from her broom.

Fortunately, she didn't fall from a great height and the ground was soft with mud. Still, she was out of commission as Madam Hooch sent her up to the Hospital Wing. There could be no substitutions once the game was in play. With Slytherin on a permanent power play, Gryffindor soon lost its lead and began to fall behind.

Harry could see the frustration on Ginny and Katie's faces as they struggled to get a hold of the Quaffle. The rain was really pelting down now and despite the wet, despite the threat of Bludgers, despite the fact they were losing, Harry couldn't help but appreciate the way the wet Robes clung to Ginny's petite frame. He was immensely glad Mrs. Weasley wasn't there to see him ogling her daughter, but he just couldn't seem to help himself. No matter how many times he dragged his eyes away, they always ended back on the diminutive red head.

It was during one of these times, when Harry found his eyes watching Ginny pass the Quaffle that he saw the Snitch. It was hovering on eye level just beyond where the Chasers were huddled stealing the Quaffle back and forth. Malfoy saw it a moment after Harry did, but it was too late. He was off like a shot, barreling between Ginny and Katie as he reached for the golden-winged ball. Malfoy was right on his tail and he tried to nudge Harry out of the way as they raced for the prize. Harry grabbed on to it and felt Malfoy's hand scratch his as he closed it over the ball. He held it up in triumph as Luke Donovan said in a monotone voice, "Gryffindor wins, 210 to 170."

Crabbe hurled one last Bludger in Harry's direction but Ginny yelled a warning and Harry easily maneuvered around it. The team gathered around him in glee, shouting, "Congratulations, we did it!" to one another.

Harry heard Ron's voice above the roar, "Hey Harry, will wonders never cease? We won a Quidditch match that didn't end up with you in the Hospital Wing."

A/N: Okay guys, I've done it. I actually typed the words The End' on a story. It's still only in first draft form, but it is complete! Woot! There will be 37 chapters in total. You guys have been so great and really inspired me to keep going. Thank you so much for all the replies and emails and positive feedback. I can't even tell you how much it means to me. I hope you liked the Quidditch game, I know a lot of you have been waiting for more!


	31. Easter Hols

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Thirty-one

Easter Hols

March gradually turned into April and the colors of Spring spread over the hillside. The grass slowly became greener and crocuses and daffodils began to bloom across the grounds. Although there was still a nip in the air, the sun was higher and hinting at warmer days to come.

Harry was outside one early morning after his customary run, practicing some Tai Chi exercises. Mr. Taylor had begun teaching him shortly after his arrival and Harry now practiced it willingly on his own. At first, he thought he looked ridiculous attempting the fluid, graceful movements Mr. Taylor demonstrated, but soon learned the relaxation and meditative qualities of Tai Chi helped enormously with his Occlumency.

His scar still twinged painfully at times, but he managed to successfully block any further visions. The only time Voldemort had broken through in the past several months was during the dream about Ginny. It was after that dream Mr. Taylor had begun focusing more intensely on the Tai Chi, and so far, it seemed to be working.

So intent was he in his meditation, he hadn't noticed the Headmaster approach and quietly sit down to observe his movements.

"You make that look very easy, Harry," he finally spoke.

Harry opened his eyes, surprised to find him there. "Good Morning, sir."

"Good Morning to you! I see Jonathan has converted you into a Tai Chi supporter. He has tried for years to instill it as part of the training for Aurors and Unspeakables."

Harry didn't know that. "It helps with the Occlumency."

"Ah, yes. That is just what I am here to speak with you about. I understand you have blocked him out here at Hogwarts. We need to see how successful you are at blocking him outside the wards."

"Are we going into Hogsmeade?" Harry asked curiously. He hadn't been back there since the Dementor attack in November.

"No. My concern is for your summer holidays and what will happen on an extended leave. I have arranged for you to return to Grimmauld Place over the Easter break so we can monitor your ability to hold the shield. I know you had some trouble at Christmas, but the circumstances were extenuating and you have come a long way since then. Remus is also very anxious to see you. I am hoping you will be able to manage to block Voldemort completely while you are there."

Harry nodded, feeling confident he'd be able to do it this time. The idea of seeing Remus after so long was a huge inspiration and Harry would go right now if Dumbledore offered. "I want to see Moony too. I've spoken with him a few times, but he still seems rather weak."

"I know you do, Harry. From what they tell me, his progress is right on target and nothing for you to worry about. What we do need to consider, however, is what will happen over the summer."

"The summer?"

"The wards at Privet Drive have been strengthened since Christmas. Bill Weasley has even added some new ones. Although the Death Eaters caused a hefty amount of damage, despite their best efforts, they never got through the wards."

"So I'll be returning to Privet Drive." Harry said glumly.

"You are aware of the need to stay with your Aunt, however that doesn't necessarily mean Privet Drive."

"What?" Harry was confused, certainly his aunt would never agree to leave Privet Drive for him.

"Harry, with everything that happened after the Burrow was attacked, we never really discussed the Dursleys visit. Molly Weasley has been very vocal with her opposition of sending you back there."

Harry's spine stiffened and all the relaxation he had been feeling suddenly dissolved instantaneously. This was not a conversation he wanted to have with his Headmaster. "Aunt Petunia will never agree to leave Privet Drive, not for me anyway."

Dumbledore's face bore a pained expression. "I am aware of that. Perhaps, she will concede if it is her own, or Dudley's safety she need consider. I believe you have been keeping quiet about more than even I suspected, Harry. Regardless, even if they will not consent to leaving Privet Drive for a few weeks this summer, there will be some changes made. I have always done my best not to interfere with their lives; however, there is a limit to what I will tolerate. If you are to return to Privet Drive, you will not be returning alone. An Order member will accompany you."

"They'll never agree to that."

"Let us cross that bridge when we come to it, shall we? First things first, and our first order of business is to test your Occlumency shield. Bring Ron, Hermione, and Ginny to my office after the Hogwart's Express departs and I'll have a Portkey waiting."

Harry nodded; immensely relieved Dumbledore was not going to press him further. "I'll do that, sir. Thank you."

"How is your training with Jonathan coming along? I can see you've mastered Tai Chi and if my understanding is correct, your Fencing skills have greatly improved as well."

Harry's cheeks tinged red as he thought of his dueling success. "It's going well, sir. I've learned a lot from him, more than I ever suspected I would when I first met him."

Dumbledore smiled a mysterious smile. "Ah, yes. Appearances can be deceiving, Harry. Best to never make sole judgements only upon what you see."

On that note, Professor Dumbledore strode back up to the castle leaving a very confused Harry staring after him. He picked up his towel and wrapped it around his neck and returned to the castle as well. Ron always told him the password to the Prefect's Bathroom so he could use it after his morning runs. He headed up that way now to take a shower before classes began.

He entered the Prefects bathroom and was pleased to find it empty. He stripped down and turned on the water in the shower, luxuriating in the hefty force of the hot water. He washed off the sweat and tension of the morning and scrubbed his hair clean. As he was getting his clothes on, he was startled by a voice behind him.

"You've certainly grown up a bit since the TriWizard Tournament."

Harry spun around to find Moaning Myrtle hovering above the sinks with a look in her eye that Harry definitely didn't like. "Myrtle! Still spying on the Prefects, huh?"

"It's not like I have much else to do," she said glumly.

Harry didn't know what to say to that. "Can I ask you something, Myrtle?"

"If you want. It's not like you pay much attention to me anymore, not since you started running around with that little red haired girl," she sighed morosely.

"You've seen me with Ginny?"

"Just because you don't notice me, doesn't mean I don't notice you," Myrtle wailed. Harry was dismayed to see her lower lip starting to tremble.

"Sorry."

"What is it you wanted to ask me?"

Harry licked his suddenly dry lips. "WhatWhat happens when you die?" he whispered.

"Well isn't that just so insensitive!" Myrtle howled. "You haven't come to visit me all year and when I do finally see you, you have to go and remind me that I'm dead!" She continued to wail as she disappeared into the drainpipe.

Harry stood there for a moment in stunned silence before shaking his head and heading for the Great Hall.

His first class that morning was Defense Against the Dark Arts and he walked with Ron and Hermione towards the classroom. They were outside in the hallway when they walked right into Draco Malfoy, who was headed in the other direction with Crabbe and Goyle. Harry groaned inwardly, _this wasn't shaping up to be his day!_

Malfoy's sneer was in place before he was even close enough to start speaking. "So, if it isn't the infamous trio. Tell me, is there anything you don't all do together?" The lewd insinuation in his voice causing Ron's muscles to tense and he leaned forward. Hermione, instinctively knowing what he was going to do, had already stepped in front of him.

"Excuse us, but this is our classroom," she stated, trying to push past him and into the room.

"Not so fast," Malfoy drawled, placing his arm across the doorway and blocking her entrance. "DADA huh, Potter? Not that it's going to help you."

"Still smarting after your stunning loss on the Quidditch pitch, Malfoy?" Harry asked sarcastically.

Both Crabbe and Goyle scowled at this and took a step closer in towards Harry. Malfoy moved to stand directly in front of him so they were nearly nose to nose. "Hope you enjoyed that game, Potter. More likely than not, it was the last one you'll ever play."

"What do you mean by that?" questioned the sharp voice of Professor Trent, who had entered the hallway, no doubt hearing the confrontation happening outside her doorway.

"Nothing, Professor," Malfoy stepped back and answered smoothly. "Just a Quidditch discussion.

"It didn't sound like a Quidditch discussion to me, Mr. Malfoy. It sounded like a threat and I won't have it. Ten points from Slytherin! The bell has already sounded and you're late for class, now move along!"

Harry enjoyed watching the slight pinkish color that stained Malfoy's cheeks as he stalked away.

"Is there anything I need to know about?" Professor Trent questioned with concern.

"No!" Harry interrupted Hermione before she could say anything. "Everything is fine, Professor."

Professor Trent studied them all closely, Hermione in particular, who looked like she was nearly ready to burst, but held her tongue at Harry's stern warning glare.

"Well come in then, we need to get class started," Professor Trent relented and they all entered the classroom.

That afternoon he was sitting in the Common Room with Ron and Hermione discussing the altercation in the hallway.

"Do you think he knows something?" Ron asked worriedly.

"I'm not sure," Hermione replied. "I mean, it's really not a new kind of threat coming from him, is it?"

"I suppose not," Ron said, slightly unwilling to let it go.

"Professor Trent handled it properly, although I still think you should have told her what Malfoy said, Harry."

Harry didn't respond, although he knew she was right. Trent did handle it well and took points from Malfoy. Snape would have taken them from _him!_

"Well, she may have taken points from the git, but she didn't try all that hard to find out what the threat was all about."

"She did try, Ron! We were the ones who wouldn't tell her anything! You are just so determined not to give her an ounce of credit, even when it's unmistakably due!"

Harry could see this rapidly descending into one of their endless arguments over their DADA professor and was happy to see Ginny entering through the Portrait Hole. Making her way over to them, she plopped down next to Harry and pecked him on the cheek.

"How are you? I saw you on the grounds this morning doing your sexy meditation exercises and talking to Professor Dumbledore. What did he have to say?" she asked, her eyes twinkling merrily.

Harry blushed and glanced apprehensively at Ron, who was smirking and looking expectantly back at Harry. He always expected Ron to be furious at Ginny's flirtatious behavior, but Ron usually seemed to get more enjoyment from Harry's panicked discomfort than anything Ginny said to him.

"He told me to let you know that we're all going back to Grimmauld Place over the holiday. Keep that quiet though, we'll take a Portkey after the Hogwarts Express departs."

"You'll get to see Remus!" Ginny exclaimed happily for him.

"I know. He's anxious to hear how we're doing."

Ginny took his hand and gave it a squeeze as Hermione said, "We don't usually go back over Easter? Is there a reason for it this time, or just to see Remus?"

Harry felt a little stung. It wasn't _just_ to see Moony, but that would be enough for him. "Well, Dumbledore wants to test my Occlumency shield while I'm out of the castle for a while, so he can see how things will work over the summer."

"Oh, are you going to be spending the summer at Grimmauld Place?" Hermione asked eagerly.

"I don't think so. It's still up in the air right now, depending on what Aunt Petunia will agree to."

"What do you mean," asked Ginny.

"I have to stay with Aunt Petunia, for a few weeks anyway. Dumbledore is going to try and convince her to go somewhere else, he didn't say where. She'll never agree to it though, so my guess is it'll be back to Privet Drive."

"You can't be serious!" Hermione nearly screeched.

Harry merely shrugged. "I'll be seventeen this summer. After that, Dumbledore can't tell me where to go anymore if I don't want to listen."

"Why do you have to stay with your Aunt Petunia?" Ron asked. "I know Mum gave Dumbledore an earful about sending you to stay with those Muggles. She's determined you're coming home with us this year."

"It has to do with the blood protection from my mother." Harry answered quietly, not looking at them. "Supposedly, Voldemort can't touch me while I'm there."

They were all silent for a minute, digesting this information.

"But, Harry," Ginny ventured. "I can't believe he's making you go back to those horrid people after—"

"Look," Harry interrupted quickly. "We're just going to see what happens over Easter before any decisions are made, all right?" He got up quickly and moved off the couch, wanting an immediate end to the conversation. He hated the silent look his three friends shared with each other. There were two more days of classes to get through before the break began and he hoped to get through them without any more rows.

The next morning, he had a session with Mr. Taylor. They had continued with their Fencing lessons after Harry's win, and he'd managed several more. Mr. Taylor still won the majority of the time, but the bouts were longer and longer and he needed to use more and more of his skills to do so. And he didn't always succeed.

Today's duel had gone on for a long time and both were tired and sweating profusely when inspiration struck Harry. He parried with his sword but used his wandless magic to perform a _Petrificus Totalis_. He was delighted when it worked!

"Congratulations, Harry. You've discovered my weakness. I can duel for as long as it takes, but add magic and a sword to the mix, and I can't concentrate on both. How did you know that?"

"I don't know," Harry replied in confusion. "It just occurred to me to use the magic at the same time."

"Hmm. Perhaps a bit of Legilimency going on as well? Nice work. We'll continue to work on that idea, perhaps Voldemort shares my weakness with multi-tasking."

"Fat Chance!" Harry scoffed. Voldemort didn't appear to have any weaknesses that Harry had yet seen. "Mr. Taylor, if you don't think I'd be able to perform a Killing Curse, is there any kind of opposite magic that would do the same thing? I mean, a Patronus gets rid of a Dementor and it's not Dark. Is there a kind of Light Magic that can destroy evil, without being evil itself?"

Mr. Taylor furrowed his brow in concentration and didn't answer for a long time. He paced back and forth and seemed to nod to himself on occasion, as if holding an internal conversation. Finally he spoke, but very distantly. "You're speaking of a very old kind of magic, Harry, but I think you may be on to something."

"Old Magic? Like the blood protection my mother gave me when she sacrificed herself?"

He again nodded carefully. "It's not blood magic, it's more based on emotion and strong feeling."

"That's what Voldemort doesn't understand!" Harry exclaimed. "When he tried to possess me at the Ministry, Dumbledore said he couldn't because he couldn't bear to be inside me when I was feeling so intensely about Sirius."

"I'm going to do some research while you're on break. We'll talk about this again when you return."

Harry felt the slightest thrill of excitement. Maybe they were finally on to a way to defeat him. If Harry could perform the Patronus, maybe there was something opposite to Dark Magic where his strength lay. Perhaps that was the Power the Prophecy mentioned? He was trying not to get his hopes up, but maybe there was a way to end this after all.

"Our library won't be of any use to us, I'll have to do some travelling for this. I'll let Albus know what we're looking for."

"Could a spell be altered?" Harry asked, now thoroughly warmed to his topic. "I mean the Patronus expels a Dementor, but could it be altered to somehow destroy one? And then adapt it after that to destroy Voldemort? You said he's not really human anymore?"

"Harry, I don't want you to get your hopes up. Let me look into this and see if we have a direction to go in, okay? It's more than we had yesterday, but not an end yet."

Harry nearly sprinted back to the Common Room to share the idea with Ginny, Ron, and Hermione. Hermione's eyes lit up with eager anticipation. She loved anything to do with research, and finally this was a way she could help!

"Oh Harry, maybe the library at Grimmauld Place will have some information if Mr. Taylor doesn't think there would be anything here!"

"I don't know. Sirius' family was into the Dark Arts, I'm not sure we'd find anything on Old Magic."

"Well, it can't hurt to look and we'll be there for a week. That should be enough time to at least narrow our search."

Harry saw Ron rolling his eyes in disgust, seeing his vacation plans going down the drain. He glared at Harry. "Thanks a lot, Potter. Hope you'll enjoy spending your hols in the Library. That'll be a nice change, huh?"

Harry grinned; nothing could dampen his mood at the moment.

They arrived at Grimmauld Place on Saturday morning, taking a Portkey from Dumbledore's office with their backpacks after the departure of the Hogwarts Express. It was raining in London when they arrived, and the pitter-patter sound of raindrops against the windows echoed throughout the house.

Harry barely even paused to drop his bag off in his room before racing to Remus' room and knocking on the door.

"Come in," he heard Remus respond through the closed door.

He pushed it open and found him sitting on the sofa in front of the fire reading, a handmade quilt thrown over his legs. He was very thin and his hair, always peppered, had gone completely gray. He appeared much older than his years and although Harry hadn't been expecting the picture of good health, the frailty of his condition was startling. He knew Remus was out of danger, but the fear of losing him once again pressed itself down upon Harry.

"How are you, Moony?" he asked slightly fearful.

Remus smiled warmly and put down the book. As if reading Harry's thoughts, he opened his arms wide and said, "I'm not going to break, Harry. Come over here and let me get a look at you."

Harry walked over tentatively, leaned down and gently hugged his friend and mentor. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too. You have no idea how much. I understand you've been learning a lot from Jonathan Taylor in my absence though? Going to give me a run for my money the next time we duel?"

Harry smiled shakily. Remus didn't look like he'd ever be in the condition to duel again. "Yeah," he whispered.

He could hear the rain pounding against the window; the wind seemed to be picking up. The weather suited the turmoil within Harry's heart. Remus patted a spot on the sofa next to him and Harry gently sat down on the edge, looking ready to flee at a moment's notice.

"I know I'm still not looking so good, Harry, but the doctors at St. Mungo's assure me I'll make a full recovery. By the time you start your summer break, I should be good as new," Remus offered consolingly.

"Are you in any pain?"

"No, none at all, just weak physically. They say it will take a while, but the Strengthening Potions are working."

Harry watched as Remus gingerly adjusted his position and knew he was lying about his discomfort. He suddenly felt the overwhelming desire to cry over the unfairness of it all and struggled desperately to hold it back. Thankfully, Tonks burst into the room at that moment, her hair a putrid green color and her effervescence was bubbling over.

"Harry!" she yelled, running over and grabbing him in a crushing hug. "I saw the others downstairs and they said you'd already come up! I wanted to surprise Remus here with you!" She pouted for a minute before getting over it and moving on. "So, tell us everything! We've been speculating about your training with Jonathan and want all the details! Isn't he amazing? He's a legend at the Ministry, you know!"

Harry could barely keep up with her she was talking so fast and felt his head moving all around just trying to follow her movement around the room. Tonks always moved when she talked. She tripped into the side of the sofa and landed on Harry's lap with an, "Ummfff."

He grinned as she blushed, but hugged him again anyway. "So, what's going on with you and Ginny? Not still pulling that bloody noble crap, are you?"

__

Leave it to Tonks not to pull her punches.

"No, we're okay. She said she'd kick my arse if I tried that again."

"Good for her! That's my girl."

Remus was laughing. "I think you might be in over your head with that girl, Harry. I wouldn't want to tick her off."

Harry smiled fondly. "No, she's something else when she gets riled."

"Molly's planning her big sixteenth birthday bash while you're here. What did you get her?"

"I haven't got her anything yet, I was hoping you could help me. I can't get to Hogsmeade any more."

"Sure," Tonks beamed happily. "I have to go into Diagon Ally later today anyway. What did you have in mind?"

Harry told her what he was looking for and spent the rest of the afternoon talking with the two of them. He enjoyed sharing his exploits with Mr. Taylor and was pleased to notice Remus' enjoyment of the stories. Although obviously still suffering physically, his mind was as sharp as ever and Harry enjoyed having him to confide in again. He stayed until Remus literally fell asleep while they were talking; he then quietly made his exit to find the others while Tonks headed out to do her errands.

Later that evening, while the rain pounded and flashes of lightening lit up the dimly lit house; Ginny Weasley made her way hurriedly along towards the library. Her face was bright red and she was trying to suppress giggles as she burst through the doors in search of Hermione. Her friend looked up from the huge stack of books she'd been reading since their arrival at Grimmauld Place this morning. She was determined to find some references to Old Magic that might help Harry. When Hermione set her mind to research, there wasn't much that could stand in her way.

A tremendous boom of thunder echoed through the room as Ginny plopped down across from Hermione and hid her face in her hands. Hermione looked up vaguely before returning her gaze to the immense tome in front of her. "What's so funny, Ginny?" she asked.

Ginny brushed the hair off her forehead and sighed dramatically. "You won't believe where I've just been."

Hermione looked up, mildly curious now. "Where?"

"Mum dragged me up to her bedroom, she said we needed to have a talk."

"A talk?"

"Yes. Mum decided it was time to discuss the birds and the bees."

Hermione giggled. "Yeah, my mum did the same thing to me last summer before I arrived here."

"Oh, that's not what I'm laughing about. Actually, Mum has always been fairly open with me. Being the youngest of seven, well, you hear things."

"So then, what's so funny?"

"Right now, Dad is having the same talk with Ronand Harry."

Hermione completely put the book down. "Harry?"

Ginny smiled. "I love my dad to pieces for doing it for him, but can you imagine? Getting that talkfrom your girlfriend's father? Harry will be mortified!"

Hermione started to giggle as well. "He'd have been mortified regardless who talked to him, but you're right. Getting it from your girlfriend's dad has got to be intimidating! Poor Harry!"

"I guess Mum approached Remus to do it but she said he looked so terrified at the idea she thought Dad might handle it better. I know Ron already had this talk when he started dating you, but they decided to do he and Ron together to make Harry more comfortable."

Hermione laughed. "I can see how Remus wouldn't know how to handle that. I suppose it should have been Sirius's job. Can you imagine the kind of talk Harry would have got then?"

Ginny's giggles became uncontrollable. "Oh, I wish we had a pair of Extendable Ears to hear what's going on."

"Ginny!"

"Oh, come on! Don't tell me you didn't think of it too!"

Hermione smirked and looked back at the table. "I've done all I'm going to do with this for tonight. Let me just put my notes back in the room and we can head to the kitchen and wait for the boys to be finished. I'm sure the kitchen is the first place Ron will head after a conversation like that."

"You know my brother well."

Hermione smiled, gathered her notes and a few books and left to bring them upstairs. Ginny was flipping absently through one of the larger volumes Hermione had out when Harry entered the Library. His eyes flew open wide at finding her there and a bright flush worked its way up his face.

Ginny tried to school her features and not let on she knew where he'd been. "Hi! I've barely seen you all day! I think we're going to have to go back to school so I can get some time alone with you."

"I was just going to see how Hermione was doing with the research," he replied shyly, not quite meeting her gaze.

Ginny watched him closely as he picked up the books and put them back on the shelves. She'd been planning on teasing him over the talk with her dad, but seeing his obvious discomfort, she decided to take pity. It suddenly struck her how alone in the world Harry was and she felt an intense wave of fury that Voldemort had even taken this from him. He shouldn't have had to have that talk with her dad; he should have had it with his own, or at least Sirius. _It just wasn't fair!_

As she continued to watch him put the books away, she was distracted by the nice view of his behind as he reached up to one of the higher shelves. "I like the effects your workouts with Mr. Taylor have had on your bum," she said bluntly.

Harry blushed and spun around. "What," he spluttered, craning his neck around trying to get a look at his own backside to see what she was talking about.

Ginny giggled at him. "It used to be so flat, your pants always just hung off you. Now you're filling them out quite nicely, even if the jeans are still too big."

Harry looked horrified. "Used to? Exactly how long have you been looking at my bum?"

"Everyone looks, Harry. You should hear some of the comments Lavender has made about you recently. She's been very appreciative of all your training, even though she doesn't how you're doing it."

Harry just stood there blinking, as if he was trying to decide if she were having him on or not. It was then that Hermione returned with Ron in tow. Sure enough, Ron was munching on the remains of a sandwich. Hermione was looking between Harry and Ginny. "What's going on?" she asked.

Harry shook his head, his eyes pleading with Ginny not to reveal their conversation. Ginny, being Ginny, couldn't resist torturing him. _It was good for him!_ "I was just telling Harry here how all the Gryffindor girls have been admiring the shapely way his backside has turned out."

Ron nearly choked on his sandwich but Hermione caught right on and joined in the teasing. "Yes, you have filled out nicely, Harry. Yours has always been rather nice, Ron, but Harry's used to be really flat."

Harry was now redder than Ginny's hair and looked ready to bolt from the room. Ron was looking at Hermione as if she were from another planet, although he briefly appeared smug over her compliment.

Hermione looked directly at him, "What? You boys have all done your share of checking out your classmates. You're not that discreet! Don't you think we've done the same? The next time you're being so nasty about poor Eloise Midgen, you might want to stop and think what _she_ might have to say about _you_!"

Ron was completely at a loss for words. Ginny stood up, wanting to break up this situation before they entered a full-fledged row. "It's getting late, we should probably get to bed."

As she walked past Harry on her way out the door, she couldn't resist and reached over and pinched his bum. He looked up stunned before a grin spread across his face. Draping his arm around her shoulders as they walked out the door he said, "I don't how I went so long without noticing you, Ginny."

"Well, you're a daft prat, but I'm pretty fond of you too, Potter," she smiled and they all went upstairs to bed.

They had a wonderful vacation, although not very productive. Even Hermione gave up on finding anything useful in the Library at Grimmauld Place, most of the books dealt with Dark Magic. Harry didn't have any visions or flares of emotions and was quite pleased with his Occlumency shield. His scar still seared fairly often and he'd have to clap his hand to it, but nothing entered his mind. Dumbledore thought he'd still feel the pain until the day the connection was broken.

They celebrated Ginny's sixteenth birthday with a wild Weasley party. Even Charlie came home for it. Mrs. Weasley again prepared a feast and most of the Order stayed for the festivities. The twins even managed to slip Tonks a Canary Cream.

Harry's present to Ginny was a gold necklace with a heart pendant that had a ruby set in the center. He liked the red stone because it reminded him of her, she liked it because she said it was his birthstone.

Ginny wore it constantly and could often be seen tugging on it out of habit. Harry thanked Tonks profusely for picking it up for him and helping with the selection. He spent as much time as possible with Moony and promised he'd see him again when school let out for the summer.

They returned to Hogwarts with Ginny stressing over her upcoming O.W.L.s and Harry anxious to begin working with Mr. Taylor on a possible Light Magic curse that could bring down Voldemort.

A/N: So, I gave Ginny a birthday, I'm sure JKR will contradict me at some point, but for now, I gave her an April birthday. My best guess is somewhere between April and June, we'll see how that plays out.


	32. Abduction

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Thirty-two

Abduction

After their return to the castle, Ginny became swamped with her O.W.L. revision so Harry barely saw her. A quick hello at Quidditch practice was all they had time for before she put her nose back in a book. As May arrived and the study schedules for the fifth and seventh years intensified, even holding a practice became difficult.

They still had the final match against Hufflepuff and Ron was frantic over his absentee players. Gryffindor needed a win, and a significant one at that, as Hufflepuff was leading them in points.

There was no sign of Mr. Taylor for the first several days' back and Professor Dumbledore informed Harry he'd been delayed. Both of them were hopeful that it meant he'd found something.

He arrived back at the castle late Thursday night and informed Harry they'd have a session on Friday. Harry barely slept at all that night anticipating what Mr. Taylor might have found. He arrived early for his lesson that morning and found Mr. Taylor already in the Room of Requirement. He had laid out a vast number of large and ancient looking books all along the floor.

"Good morning, Harry," he greeted. "Did you enjoy your holiday?"

"Yes, sir. It was very pleasant actually. It looks like you've had some luck."

"I hope so. These are some ancient reference manuals I managed to dig up. Most of them are no longer in print as this brand of magic is archaic and no longer practiced as it was written. Unfortunately, most of it is printed in Ancient Runes, so we've quite a task ahead of us. Did you study Ancient Runes, Harry?"

Harry was disappointed. "No, sir. Both Hermione and Ginny do, though, they might be able to help."

"I think I'll take them up on that, we've got a lot of information to get through. It'll take me a few weeks to get set up and get the Order moving before we bring them in. Both Albus and Minerva have offered to help, as well as some other members of the Order. There are several of them, led by Remus Lupin, who seem quite fond of you and eager to assist in any way possible.

Harry was pleased by the support, Remus would be happy to have something to do that would help him feel useful again. A research project was just the ticket. "They're good people. I'll tell Hermione and Ginny about it and that you'll be in touch when you're ready for them. Where did you get all this stuff anyway?"

"That, Harry, would mean revealing some of my sources and I'm not willing to do that," he grinned. "Besides, you're too young to know."

Harry raised his eyebrows in question. "Do you think there is something in here we can use?"

"I hope so. I tried to narrow the search to information specifically concerning spells that derive their power from emotion. As you can see, however, that covers a wide range."

Harry's shoulders slumped slightly looking at the enormous amount of research in front of him. Research he wouldn't even be able to help with if he couldn't read it.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves with worry, Harry. Tell me, have you been keeping up with your running?"

"I have since we returned to the castle, but not while on break. They wouldn't let me out atwhere I was staying over break." Harry was unsure if Mr. Taylor knew about Grimmauld Place or not, he had never seen him there. He'd never seen Professor Trent or any of the other new Order members there either and suspected Dumbledore was being even more cautious about revealing the location.

Mr. Taylor nodded. "I understand. Okay, take out your wand and we'll begin this morning with some spellwork. I've a few new ones to show you that I think you'll find interesting."

It was indeed an interesting morning for Harry. Mr. Taylor showed him several new jinxes and curses he was eager to demonstrate for the D.A. When they were finished, he sat down at the desk for their customary cup of tea.

"That was a great lesson, Mr. Taylor," he said earnestly. "I really liked that muting spell. I can think of someone I'd like to try that on!" Harry smirked as a vision of Malfoy swam in his head.

Mr. Taylor smiled indulgently. "I don't want to hear of any of your teachers finding themselves muted while lecturing, Harry."

Harry's eyes widened in surprise, he hadn't even thought of that! It would be a great spell to save for Snape. He couldn't wait to tell Ron and could already hear his response of, "Wicked."

Mr. Taylor poured the tea and sat down on the opposite side of the desk. "You've really come a long way so far, Harry. You should be proud of yourself."

Harry was embarrassed and looked away, studying his cup of tea intently. "Thanks," he murmured.

"Why does it embarrass you so if I pay you a compliment? I'm only speaking the truth."

He shrugged, not really knowing what to say. No one had ever praised him before coming to Hogwarts and it just made him feel awkward and unsure. Some part of him was always waiting for the "but" to finish the sentence.

Mr. Taylor let him off the hook. "When I first arrived here, we began a teacher/student relationship. Now it's progressed to more of a mentoring role and I think we should signify that with a change."

Harry looked at him questioningly. "What do you mean?"

"Harry, I'd like you to call me Jonathan, as my friends do."

He blinked in surprise; _he hadn't expected that_! "OkayJonathan," he tried it out tentatively.

Jonathan smiled fondly. "You'll get used to it. You know, Harry, when Dumbledore asked me to take this assignment, I wasn't sure what to expect of you. I'd heard of you, obviously, and had some of my own preconceived notions. You turned out to be nothing like any of my imaginings. I've been impressed with you from nearly the start and have grown to respect you for whom you are. The depth of feelings you inspire among your friends and acquaintances is admirable. They'd all do anything for you. If anyone can take down Voldemort, I don't have any trouble believing it will be you."

Harry sat back and put down his cup of tea, worrying over these words. Why would he be so confident Harry could do this? Harry wasn't that confident, surely. Besides, anything he could do, he could do because Mr. Taylor had showed him how. He didn't want his friends to risk anything for him!

"Harry, I can see those guilt wheels spinning in your head. Stop it right now, we've too much to do to get sidetracked by guilt. You've got more than enough of that for all of us already!"

Harry looked up in surprise, _was Jonathan actually joking with him_? He must have some confidence the answers they were seeking were hidden in these books somewhere.

Ron was sitting in the Common Room waiting for Hermione to return. He was staring at a Chocolate Frog card with Harry's picture on it. He'd first seen it back at Grimmauld Place at Christmastime but Hermione warned him Harry wasn't happy about it. They were everywhere now and most of the students were joking about it. Harry wouldn't be able to pretend they didn't exist anymore, Ron smirked.

He knew Harry always hated the attention, but stillhe thought it was cool to have your own Chocolate Frog card. Harry had just scowled at him when he said so. Ron had taken to collecting them and leaving them everywhere for Harry to find. Under his pillow, wrapped on his toothbrush, hanging in the shower, anywhere his friend wouldn't be expecting it. He'd caught the smile tugging at Harry's lips on occasion, as if against his will.

Their dorm mates had eagerly got in on the challenge and now the Common Room was literally covered in Harry's Chocolate Frog card. He was going to blow when he walked in here. Ron had noticed Ginny using one as a bookmark yesterday.

Ron looked up as the portrait hole swung open and Hermione entered the Common Room. She wore an eager expression and he could tell she was on a mission.

"Hi, Ron," she greeted him with a quick kiss. "I've just come from meeting with Mr. Taylor. He finally asked Ginny and I to help with the research on Old Magic. Harry and Ginny went for a walk afterwards but I want to get started." She said all this breathlessly as she heaved an enormous book onto the table, clearing off a bunch of chocolate frog cards without even noticing them.

Ron flipped through several of the pages but couldn't make out any of the symbols. "What does he have you looking for, exactly?" he asked.

"He thinks the great Power Harry has, the one the Prophecy refers to, comes from his emotions. Emotion is what a lot of the Old Magic spells were based on, so we're trying to find something that we might be able to adapt to take down Voldemort."

"It's fascinating, really. Not only the Old Magic, but also the idea of spell manipulation and creation. It's all very exciting! Who would have ever thought that Harry's saving people thing' might just be what saves _him_ in the end!"

Ron felt a flicker of annoyance at this statement. "Don't say that, Hermione! You know how upset it makes him."

Hermione wasn't really listening; she'd already sat down and begun reading, her parchment out and ready for notes. Ron knew she didn't mean to sound uncaring, it was just her way and she got caught up in the thrill of figuring something out. Still, he couldn't help that his ire was rising and she always seemed to know just what to say to set him off.

"Hermione! This isn't just an interesting research project here, we're talking about something that could save Harry's life!"

"I'm well aware of that, Ron. That's why I'm so excited about it. I don't want Harry to have to fight Voldemort any more than you do, but that doesn't change anything. If we can come up with a way to help him succeed, we've got to try!"

"Obviously! But bringing up that saving people thing' isn't going to help, only set him off!"

"But, Ron, face it, he does have a saving people thing'!"

"What did you do when your Dad went down at the Burrow?" Ron asked accusingly. "You stood right over him with your wand out against armed and trained Death Eaters. So, do you have a saving people thing' too?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Ron! What was I supposed to do? It was my father!"

"Yeah, and what was Sirius to Harry?"

Hermione just gaped at him, stunned. "I know perfectly well what Sirius meant to him. It wasn't just Sirius who Harry's tried to save though, he always tries to rescue anyone who is in trouble."

Ron's ears had turned red and he wasn't really even hearing her anymore. "It was no different than you protecting your dad, or when I went down into the Chamber with Harry to try and save Ginny. There just wasn't a choice. Harry would die to save any one of us without question. But he'd also do it to save anyone else. A teacher, a stranger, Gabrielle in the lake, even his bloody Aunt Petunia who's never shown him so much as an ounce of common decency. That's who he is, it's what makes him Harry and why the rest of us want to protect him so badly. Because he won't protect himself!"

"Ron, are you even listening to me? We're saying the same thing here! I know that, it's why I'm trying to find something in these books to help! Now stop interfering and let me get to work!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

Harry and Ginny walked hand in hand down by the lake, skimming some stones as they walked. Harry was thrilled to spend some time with her, he felt like he barely saw her at all anymore.

"Don't worry about the deciphering until after your exams, Gin. I have a feeling this project is going to go well into the summer." Harry told her reassuringly.

"No. I'll make time for this, Harry. It's more important than any O.W.L. exam ever will be."

"Don't say that! Your O.W.L.s are very important for _your_ future, don't let mine overshadow that!"

"Harry, first of all, your future and mine go hand in hand. Besides that, this spell isn't just for your future; it's about the future of all of us. It needs to come first."

Harry felt a warm glow of pride over her words about their futures being tied together. "I know, Ginny, but the rest of us can be looking while you revise for your O.W.L.s. The tests are only a couple weeks away, this research isn't gong anywhere. Didn't you see that stack of books Jonathan brought back? Hermione, Dumbledore, McGonagall and most of the Order are already working on it. Between Hermione and Dumbledore alone, I'd say it's in the bag!"

Ginny grinned. "Hermione couldn't wait to begin. I could almost see smoke coming from her shoes as she ran back to the Common Room."

Harry was grinning. "Ron is going to kill me, he'll never get her in a broom closet now!"

Ginny giggled, as they both remembered the night they had secretly caught Ron and Hermione emerging from the broom closet on the third floor.

"Is there anything wrong, Ginny? You seem like you've had something on your mind besides O.W.L.s lately?" Harry asked.

Ginny looked up at him apprehensively, seeming to weigh her options; it was making Harry nervous.

"What's going on," he pressed.

"Okay, do you promise not to get mad and lose your temper?" she asked, biting on her lower lip.

"Tell me what it is first," he replied warily.

"It's Malfoy, he's been acting very strange lately."

"Malfoy?" Harry blinked, that was not what he'd expected. "Strange how? He's always strange."

"No, he's been even stranger lately, I keep finding him watching me. He's everywhere I go. The hair on the back of my neck will stand up and sure enough, I'll find his eyes on me."

Harry's fury was mounting, thinking about some of the thoughts Malfoy had been directing at Harry while he ran in the mornings. He'd better give Ginny a wide berth from now on or Harry was going to have something to say about it!

"It's not just that," Ginny was saying. "It's strange comments, too. Like how it must be nice to have such faith in the side I've chosen', or how difficult it is to know whom to trust'. Things like that, almost like he's questioning which side he should be on."

"So, you think he might be wavering in his loyalty to Voldemort and his family?" Harry asked haltingly, this had to be a trick of some kind.

"No. I don't know. I know I don't trust him. Even when he's saying these things I get such an uneasy feeling from him. This arrived at lunch today." She handed him a crumpled up piece of parchment.

Harry opened it and read the unfamiliar scrawl:

__

Ginny,

Meet me in the third floor corridor by the statue of the one-eyed witch tonight at 8:00. I've got some news your side might find interesting. Come alone, or bring Potter if you need some protection, but keep this quiet.

D.M.

Harry read it three times. The spot he was talking about was right outside the entrance of the secret passage to Hogsmeade, but Ginny didn't know that. _Did Malfoy_? "It could be a trap, but maybe he does want to reveal something," Harry pondered out loud.

"Should I go or ignore it? What do you think?" she asked.

"There's no way I want you to go," Harry responded vehemently. "He did say you could bring me, but he also said it in a way you'd hate. It's no secret you don't like anyone acting like you need protection."

"So, it's a win-win for him. I either go alone, or bring you, which might be what he's after anyway?"

"In that dream I had, Voldemort wanted to use you to get to meI don't like this, Ginny. Promise me you won't meet him there tonight?"

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to meet him."

"What? Are you insane?"

"Ginny, we have to find out if he's serious, but we can't do it his way. He definitely wants you there, so you can't be. I'll go and take Ron, I want to try and use some Legilimency on him and see what I can find out. If he won't talk, we'll go and tell Dumbledore what's going on. I have no intention of leaving the castle with him. It's only Malfoy. Even if he brings his goons, and he probably will, Ron and I can handle them. Your not being there will throw him off, he's not used to not getting his way." Besides, Harry wanted a few words with Malfoy about his stalking of Ginny. He was going to put a stop to that.

"I don't like this, Harry."

"Ginny, please promise me you'll stay away? Please." Harry used his trump card. He knew if he begged her, and pleaded with his eyes that she couldn't deny him. After dating for several months, he'd learned her weak spots too.

Ginny nodded reluctantly, the look on her face stating she wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do or not.

When they returned to the Common Room, they found Ron and Hermione standing nose to nose, obviously in the middle of a blazing row. Harry moved his eyes back and forth between the two of them nervously.

"What's going on," Ginny asked.

"Nothing," Hermione spat, glaring at Ron. "I'm going to the library to begin on this research, Ginny. Want to come with me and help me get set up?"

Ginny glanced briefly at Harry, who nodded imperceptibly. "Okay, just let me get some of my books." That was good, it would give Harry a chance to talk to Ron alone. He grabbed Ginny's hand as she walked by with Hermione.

"You'll stay in the library with Hermione, right?" he whispered his plea quietly so only she could hear.

Ginny's eyes looked extremely worried, but she nodded nonetheless. "I'll stay in the library." She softly and quickly kissed him on the lips as the two girls left.

Harry turned back to Ron. "What are you two fighting over now?"

"Never mind. She drives me crazy sometimes!"

Harry chuckled. "She always has, mate."

Ron grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, I know."

"Listen, Ron, I've got something to tell you"

"What's that?"

"Malfoy sent Ginny a note today asking her to meet him in the third floor corridor, right outside the tunnel to Hogsmeade."

Ron's face had flushed at the mention of Malfoy's name. "What?" he spluttered. "Why is Malfoy asking to meet Ginny anyway?"

"I don't know. She said he's been watching her and commenting about switching sides. The note said for her to meet him, but she could bring me. I made her promise not to go, but I've got to check it out."

"How did you ever get Ginny to agree to that?"

"I begged, but I know I don't have a lot of time before she changes her mind."

"I don't trust Malfoy, Harry, no matter what he says! I'm going with you."

"I was hoping you'd say that."

Harry's eyes flickered around the room, taking in the abundance of Harry Potter cards strung on the walls like garland. Ron had been taking to placing these cards everywhere and Harry was determined not to let it show it was getting to him. It was getting rather comical; really, the room was nearly wallpapered with the things. Harry continued his ploy and pretended not to notice them, although he could see the wide grin on Ron's face and felt his own lips twitch at the absurdity. The two boys played chess in the Common Room until 8:00 rolled around when they began making their way down the stairs. "Do you think we should bring the Invisibility cloak?" Harry asked.

"What for? You want him to see you, right? Besides, do you really want him to know you have it?" Ron replied.

"I guess not. Something about this just isn't right, I have a bad feeling about it."

"Anything to do with Malfoy gives me a bad feeling."

When they turned into the corridor, all was quiet, eerily quiet and Malfoy wasn't anywhere in sight. Harry poked his head in several of the empty classrooms but there was no one around. The candles in the corridor were lit, but it seemed dim somehow, and rather foreboding.

Ron must have been feeling uneasy as well. "Wands out, d'you reckon?"

His words sent an icy dagger of fear directly into Harry's heart, bringing up all the unpleasant memories from that graveyard. A stunning spell couldn't have been more effective. "Get out of here, Ron! Now. Go!"

Ron was bewildered by Harry's outburst. "What? What are you on about, Harry?"

"Go back to the Common Room, just get far away from me before you become the spare!" Harry was nearly hysterical and he knew Ron didn't know what he was panicking over. "I'm leaving too. You go back the way we came, I'm going this way and I'll meet you back upstairs." _It's a trap. It's a trap. It's a trap_.

At that moment, Draco Malfoy emerged from around the corner, his wand out and held on the two of them. His trademark sneer was in place but it was obvious he was agitated. His gray eyes kept roaming up and down the corridor, as if looking for someone.

"She's not here and she's not coming, Malfoy" Harry spat with venom. "You stay the hell away from her."

"Well, that's just too bad. I was looking forward to her company to amuse myself with. I would have liked to take her down a peg or two. You'll just have to do," he sneered.

"What are you on about, Malfoy," Ron asked.

"Why am I continually finding you three arguing in the corridors?" Professor Trent's angry voice sounded behind them. She strode in between them, her angry gaze looking intently at each. "I'll take those, if you please," she said as she plucked all three wands from their owner's hands.

"We were just going back to our Common Room, Professor," Harry placated. "If we could just have our wands back, we'll be on our way."

"I don't think so, Mr. Potter. I want to know what is going on here."

None of them responded but instead exchanged glances apprehensively.

"Very well then," Professor Trent sighed, handing Malfoy back his wand. Harry reached out his hand for his but his eyes widened in surprise as Professor Trent raised her own wand in his direction. "Not feeling very talkative, are we, Mr. Potter? Perhaps you can be persuaded yet." She nodded her head towards Malfoy, "Draco."

Malfoy leaned over and tapped his wand to the one-eyed witch, "_Dissendium_."

Harry shut his eyes in dread. _This was bad_.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, please follow Mr. Malfoy into the tunnel," Professor Trent instructed.

Harry and Ron both set their jaws and slid down the stone slide at the entrance behind Malfoy. Before Harry was even back on his feet, Ron had lunged at Malfoy, knocking him back against the wall.

"_Stupefy_," Professor Trent's angry voice rang clear as Ron dropped to the ground.

Harry was furious at being caught by Malfoy. Ron was right all along; Professor Trent was a traitor! Now it was Ron who was slumped unconscious on the ground. Harry pulled his fist back and slammed Malfoy's face, catching him on his left eye and sending him sprawling. "That was for Ron and Ginny," he snarled as he felt Professor Trent's wand dig into his back between his shoulder blades.

She conjured ropes and quickly tied Harry's hands behind his back while he glared at her. "You can glare all you want, Mr. Potter, but kindly do so as you're walking. That way." She pointed her finger in the direction of Honeydukes. Harry's eyes momentarily wandered to Ron, still lying in a heap on the floor.

"Don't worry, I'll see to it that Mr. Weasley stays with us."

"Leave him here, we'll move faster without him," Harry tried.

She smirked at him. "I don't think so."

She levitated Ron's body and they began down the tunnel as Harry silently cursed. It would have been easier to try and escape without having to worry about Ron. He could have undone the ropes binding him without a wand, but he didn't think he'd have time to revive Ron and still make a run for it. There was no way to stun them both at the same time and he'd never tried a stunner with a wand. They continued on in silence until finally coming to rest at the end of the tunnel. Harry was sweating slightly with exertion while keeping his eyes warily on both wands.

"Sit down there," she hissed, shoving him to the ground. "Our contact will be meeting us here."

"The Weasley girl never showed," Malfoy whined almost apologetically.

"I know. I ran into her and Granger in the Library. Granger was eager to tell me what was happening so I even had an excuse to head this way. I couldn't bring Weasley without Granger too, and I didn't want that many witnesses."

"Your cover will be blown though."

"Doesn't matter. We have the ultimate prize the Dark Lord desires."

"Yeah," Harry spat. "You're such good lackeys."

Malfoy turned with a snarl and viciously kicked Harry in the ribs. He kicked again twice before Trent dragged him back, "That's enough, Draco! We need him mobile, you fool!"

"You think you're so special, Potter. You should have joined with us when we gave you the chance all those years ago. After the Dark Lord defeats Dumbledore and what's left of the Ministry, the power of the Wizarding world will belong to us! The days of mudblood loving fools running things are over! We'll see to it things are put right. Of course, you won't be around for any of that."

Harry wrapped his arm around his ribs, gasping for breath. He clenched his teeth, refusing to show how much that hurt although he was sure at least one rib was broken. He was having a hard time taking a deep breath and his whole side throbbed in agony.

"So what did he promise you to make you turn?" Harry asked Trent, trying to stall being asked to stand. He really didn't know if he could. "Were you even an Auror to begin with or have you always been a Death Eater?"

"Oh, Diana Trent is not a Death Eater, she never was. Of course, she's been dead for months. Your precious Dumbledore checks identities when he hires someone because of Barty Crouch, but not again after they've started. We simply took her out when the opportunity presented itself."

Harry looked at her questioningly. "Polyjuice then?"

"No," she smiled widely as her hair turned green. "Any other guesses?" Her hair color changed again, this time to a vivid pink.

"Tonks," Harry whispered in disbelief. This just couldn't be! He was missing something!

"Right family, wrong member," she replied as her hair became short and blonde, her eyes blue and she suddenly was a female replica of Malfoy.

"Allow me to introduce my mother, Potter, Narcissa Malfoy."

Narcissa's eyes glittered with malice as they looked over the bound Harry lying at her feet. "You think you're so clever with your smart mouth. My husband spent months in Azkaban because of you! You're going to pay for that."

"So you killed the real Diana Trent just to get close to me?"

"Don't flatter yourself, Potter. I took her place to get information for my Lord. I was also able to keep an eye on Draco and no one was ever the wiser. I assigned that essay back at Halloween to try and get some information for the Dark Lord but you gave us nothing! He's aware you know about the Prophecy, Potter. He wants that information. We're going to take you there so you can give it to him."

Before Harry could reply, the hatch to Honeydukes opened and Wormtail appeared in the tunnel. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw Harry. "Where's the girlfriend?"

"She's not here," Harry snapped, ignoring the pain in his side. "You failed!"

"On the contrary, we were going to use her to get you, you just saved us a step." He turned away from Harry and back towards Narcissa. "He's away for a few days, but he'll be very pleased. We'll hold him until then."

"What about his friend?"

Wormtail's eyes glanced coldly at Ron's unconscious body. "I'll deal with him." He turned to Harry and smiled frostily, raising his wand and pleasantly uttered, "_Stupefy_."

A/N: Okay, here we gothe beginning of the end. I saw PoA on Friday and loved it! I won't give anything away but my only criticism was I thought it was a little too much Hermione. She was great, but I felt she kind of overshadowed everyone else.


	33. Captivity

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Thirty-three

Captivity

When Harry returned to consciousness, he found himself shackled to the wall of a damp, dingy cell that smelled terribly musty. He was slumped on the floor; his arms raised high above him and splayed out wide, his back resting against the cold stone of the wall. He squinted his eyes for a few moments, adjusting himself to the dim light. It took him a minute to realize Wormtail was standing in front of him with his wand raised. Harry assumed he had cast an _Ennervate_ spell to revive him.

He shakily stood on his feet, easing some of the pain in his arms. His shoulders were tender from supporting his weight for so long. He jerked forward, and yelped in pain when the cuffs binding his wrists suddenly burned into his skin. It stopped when he ceased his struggling. Shaking his head and trying to clear it, he took a good look at what was holding him. They appeared to be thick, metal cuffs on a very short chain holding each arm out to one side.

The cuffs were charmed somehow, however. As soon as Harry would struggle or try to move, they would instantly burn his wrists. He could see the raw, red marks on his skin protruding from the edges of the cuffs and they stung painfully.

Even if he managed to get out of them, he had absolutely no idea where he was or if he was even still in Hogsmeade. Wormtail was still staring quietly; he almost seemed amused by Harry's struggles. He hadn't uttered a word since Harry had come around.

"Where's Ron?" Harry demanded.

"I wouldn't concern yourself with that right now, it's you who's in serious trouble."

"Where's Ron?" He repeated insistently.

"He wasn't necessary. You know how the Dark Lord feels about spares."

Harry felt an icy tendril of fear wrap itself around his heart. _No! No no no!_ Ron had to be okay. They wouldn't have brought him all the way through the tunnel if they'd just meant to kill him. When Cedric was killed, the plan was to use Harry's blood to restore Voldemort to his body, then kill Harry too. This time, Narcissa had mentioned knowing Harry was aware of the Prophecy. If Voldemort wanted that information from him, he would know the Imperius wouldn't work and he'd need some leverage. Ron would be the leverage. That would keep Ron safe, for now.

Despite his logical reasoning, his heart thumped painfully in his chest. He couldn't help the slight trembling over the thought of losing Ron and he fought not to show that weakness to Wormtail. His ribs ached painfully and he silently cursed Malfoy yet again.

"No, you wouldn't have killed him yet," he struggled to keep his voice calm. "Where is he? Where are we anyway?"

"So, you're now presuming to know what the Dark Lord has in mind? You've a lot to learn, young Harry. You believe anything you like if it makes you feel better. My master has been informed of your captivity and he'll be here in a few days. In the meantime, you are to enjoy some of ourspecial hospitality."

His words sent a chill down Harry's spine. Somehow, he didn't think hospitality was even remotely the right word for what he was in for. Voldemort would want him weakened by the time he arrived so he'd have an easier time either extracting the information from Harry's mind, or getting Harry to just tell him what he wanted to know. He made a silent vow that whatever happened, he was going to use this time to practice holding his Occlumency shield. He'd never give in to Voldemort! If he thought he was going to just easily get the information, he had another thing coming.

He glared at Wormtail as the man gave a mock bow and left him alone in the cell. There were no windows and the doorway was just a cut out opening. If he could get these cuffs off, he could at least get out the door. Then he'd have to find Ron, find a way out of here without being detected, and get back to Hogwarts. He assumed the prison, or house, or wherever it was he was being held would have anti-Appartion wards. It didn't really matter anyway since Ron couldn't Apparate. Even though he'd turned seventeen, he wasn't being tested until the summer. Ron, being Ron, hadn't even begun to study for the exam. Hermione was ready to flay him alive for it. Considering their present predicament, Harry had to agree with her.

He pulled on the chains binding him again and winced as they burned into his flesh. Even if he could tolerate the burning, he wasn't sure he'd manage to get his hands free anyway. The bonds were very tight.

He wondered what was happening back at Hogwarts by now? Surely Ginny and Hermione would have raised the alarm. Hermione would have realized that when Professor Trent' disappeared too, that something was wrong. She was probably feeling horrible over trusting the woman.

Harry's stomach growled weakly, he hadn't eaten much for dinner. He'd been too worried about Ginny and what she was going to do about Malfoy's note. Thank Merlin she hadn't insisted on coming with him too. Despite his dire straits, he still felt that warmth in his belly as he thought of Ginny. _She really was something_.

A slight crackle startled Harry and if his hands were free, he could have smacked himself in the head for his own stupidity. _Of course!_ He didn't need his wand; he could break these cuffs without it. No one knew about his wandless ability so they shouldn't have charmed the cuffs to be unbreakable. Concentrating on the cuff holding his left hand, he focused all his energy on unlocking it. It dropped to the ground with a clang. He quickly freed his other hand and sprinted across the room.

His ribs protested the movement but he ignored them, sending sharp waves of hot agony along his side. He wrapped one arm around his waist to hold them still. There was no one in the dimly lit hallway; he was in a stone dungeon of some sort. He could see a doorway immediately outside his cell, which was the direction Wormtail had departed from. He knew he should take the opportunity to escape and go get help, but he also knew Ron would be killed if he got away. He was sure they were keeping Ron alive to use as incentive for Harry to cooperate. If he got away, they'd retaliate by killing Ron. Harry couldn't leave him here; he had to find where they were holding him. There were more cells in the opposite direction. Again using his wandless magic, he created a light in the palm of his hand and began checking the cells.

When he reached the end of the corridor, the smell of rot and decay was overwhelming and he nearly retched. Ron was nowhere in sight_. They must be keeping him somewhere else,_ he thought frantically. Ron had to be alive. Harry felt panic rising within him and fought to push it down. He had to keep a clear head, or both of them were lost!

He turned back around and headed for the doorway near his cell. Opening it quietly, he found himself at the bottom of a long, narrow stairway. He climbed cautiously and slowly, both because of the need for silence and also because his ribs wouldn't allow him to speed up. They ached painfully and he was only able to take shallow breaths.

When he reached the top of the stairs, he found himself in an elegantly furnished room, the epitome of opposite to where he'd just come from. The windows were draped in heavy, green, velvet curtains and he cautiously made his way over to one and peered out. It was pitch black and he couldn't tell anything about his location.

He was in a Manor of some sort; probably the Headquarters for Voldemort's side much like Grimmauld Place was Headquarters to the Order. Looking at all the symbols of the Dark Arts in the room, Harry was struck by how much _like_ Grimmauld Place it actually looked! _There wasn't time to look around now!_

The window was sealed shut and he couldn't open it. Silently he made his way across the room. He could hear voices coming from another room further along the hallway. He recognized one as belonging to Wormtail, but couldn't place the other.

"Potter is confined. The Dark Lord said to inform him when he's been weakened enough and he'll arrive to finish the job. Our other guest is confined comfortably; he'll be used when it's time to get the information. I wish we could have gotten the girl."

Harry breathed a sigh of relief, so Ron _was_ still alive! Now he just had to find him. He glanced at the front door briefly; escape was tantalizing close. He'd never get back to Ron in time though. Even if he did get out and Apparate for help, he had no idea where he was or where to come back to. Creeping past the door silently and up a grand stairway, he found himself in a hallway lined with a number of doors. Harry tried to use Legilimency to reach out to Ron, but there had to be a lot of people in the house because the onslaught of malevolent feelings was overwhelming. He had to grab onto the wall for support.

He began listening intently at the doorways and cautiously peering inside each door. This corridor seemed to be a series of bedrooms. If Ron was being held comfortably', this might be the place. A loud boom from the floor below caused Harry's heart to pound even harder as it leaped into his throat. He tried to shrink back into the wall as he heard someone bellow, "Potter's missing!"

The commotion of voices and footsteps was deafening as the Death Eaters began searching for him. He wouldn't have much time now; they'd be going for Ron if they didn't find him. He began moving down the corridor and checking the rooms more quickly.

Ron slowly drifted back to awareness. He groggily looked around in confusion. He found himself lying on a single bed in a dimly lit room he didn't recognize. There was a nightstand next to the bed, but other than that, the room was void of furniture. He sat up slowly, trying to piece together what had happened.

It all came back to him slowly as he recalled Professor Trent holding a wand on them and forcing them to follow Malfoy into the tunnel that led to Honeydukes. He had attacked Malfoy, and that was all he could remember. He'd slammed Malfoy hard into the wall, he remembered that much, he thought with great satisfaction. Professor Trent had followed them down the tunnel; she must have stunned him. Judging from the splitting headache that was now pounding behind his eyes, no one had cast an _Ennervate_' spell and left him to regain consciousness on his own.

The question was, where was he? And where was Harry? Ron was starting to feel the first wave of panic. _Merlin, what had they done to Harry?_ Did they send him to Voldemort already? Ron ran a hand through his red hair and took a deep breath, trying to control his agitation.

__

Why was he still alive and what did they want him here for, Ron wondered? He had been in some tight scrapes before, but he'd always had Harry with him. Being alone was unsettling. _What had they done with Harry? _Ron wasn't stupid, he knew it was Harry they wanted, which meant that _he_ was some kind of bargaining tool. What worried Ron was that he knew Harry would give them whatever they wanted in order to keep Ron safe, and Voldemort would never hold up his end of the bargain.

He slid off the bed and made his way over to the door, it was locked. He peered out the window but it looked too high to jump without injuring himself. He tried the latch on the window and found it wouldn't open anyway. He began pacing. _What would Harry do? What would Hermione do?_

Hermione! Damn! His last words to her and been in anger over some stupid fight. He really wished he could take all that back right now. Her large, luminous brown eyes swam in his head, making him feel so ashamed for leaving things angry between them. Life was too unpredictable for that these days, as was all too painfully obvious. He hoped he'd have the chance to tell her he was sorry.

As far as he knew, Professor Trent still had his wand. How else could he get out of here? He wished he had paid more attention when Fred and George were learning how to pick a lock the Muggle way.

A loud noise from below caught his attention. He could hear a flurry of movement and several voices yelling at once, although they were too muffled to hear what they were saying. Something was going on, and Ron would bet his life it had something to do with Harry. Give em hell, Harry,' he thought viciously.

He strained his ear against the door for several more minutes before realizing with a start that the doorknob was slowly turning. He backed away from it warily, glancing around the room in a futile effort to find a place to hide. The room offered nothing. He held his breath and waited helplessly as the door opened.

He was stunned to see Harry peer in!_ That certainly wasn't what he'd been expecting! _His friend was extremely pale and walking slowly, as if each step was causing him pain. He had one arm wrapped around his midsection and was breathing heavily. Ron also could make out what looked like burns around both wrists.

"Harry!" he exclaimed loudly, without thinking.

"Shhhhh," Harry whispered furiously. "Do you want to get us both caught? Keep your voice down!"

"Sorry," Ron replied chagrinned. "Where are we?"

"Dunno," Harry shrugged his shoulders. "We've got to get out of here quickly though. Wormtail said Voldemort wouldn't be coming for a few days. They were supposed to wear me down first."

"Trent is a traitor! I told Hermione we couldn't trust her!"

"That wasn't Trent. Diana Trent is dead, that was Narcissa Malfoy. She's a Metamorphmagus like Tonks."

"Blimey!"

"Yeah," Harry agreed regretfully.

"Are you all right?"

"I think I've got some broken ribs, thanks to Malfoy." Harry spat the name as if there was a foul taste in his mouth.

"Malfoy! When I get my hands on that—"

"Later! There's no time now! They know I'm missing from my cell and they'll be up here for you quickly. We've got to move!"

"Let's go then."

"Not so fast," a sneering voice said from the hallway behind Harry.

Both boys turned with a start to see the smirking face of Draco Malfoy blocking the door. Peter Pettigrew, Narcissa Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange followed him into the room. _Damn!_

"I was sure we'd find you here, Potter. You'd never just run when you had the chance and leave your little sidekick behind," Malfoy spat in contempt.

Harry didn't respond, his face remaining impassive.

"How did you get loose from those bonds? I have your wand." Narcissa demanded.

"Obviously you didn't latch them right," Harry replied, looking at Wormtail.

"You idiot!" Narcissa screamed. "Can't you do anything right?"

"He's lying!" Wormtail looked panicked as he whined meekly, "He's just trying to cause trouble. Those bonds were latched, and _you_ said you had his wand!"

"I do! It's still tucked safely away," she hissed, patting the pocket of her robes.

"Stop it both of you!" Bellatrix snarled. "This isn't solving anything. It's time we bring the baby back to his cell and demonstrate our annoyance with his wanderings. He's going to have to learn to be a better houseguest." With an insane gleam in her eye, she raised her wand at Harry, smiled with glee, and snarled, "_Crucio."_

Harry immediately dropped to the floor, screaming and writhing in pain. His face looked like he was in total agony.

"Stop it!" Ron cried, rushing forward towards Lestrange. It was unbearable to watch Harry suffer like this.

Wormtail blocked his path. Ron was bigger and stronger than Wormtail physically, forcing the smaller man to use magic to get the upper hand. He conjured ropes and bound Ron to the foot of the bed. Ron struggled and pulled, but he couldn't break free. "Careful, Mr. Weasley. Your sole purpose here is to ensure Mr. Potter's cooperation. Don't overestimate your necessity"

Bellatrix had taken the curse off Harry by this point. Wormtail turned back to the boy lying panting on the floor and seemed to puff himself up with self-importance. "The Dark Lord values obedience. This is how we deal with guests who refuse to stay where they are told. _Crucio_!"

Harry was again hit with the curse as Ron pleaded with them to stop over Harry's screams. The ropes binding him cut into his wrists painfully from his desperate struggle to break free. When Wormtail pulled his wand up, Narcissa took his place.

"And I owe you some payback for Lucius," she sneered as she cursed Harry yet again. "You've been a thorn in all of our sides much too long, Potter. We've all received entirely too much of the Dark Lord's wrath because of you."

Draco Malfoy had been watching the whole thing with a smug expression that made Ron want to give him another black eye. He didn't know how the Slytherin got the shiner, but it looked painful and he hoped Harry had done it.

"Oh sure, you're all so powerful!" Ron screamed at them. "Four against one, and he doesn't even have a wand, you should feel real proud!"

"Shut up, Weasel," Malfoy hissed as he conjured a gag and roughly tied it around Ron's mouth. "I've heard more than I ever want to hear from a traitorous Mudblood lover like yourself!"

Ron issued a few choice phrases of his own, but the words were undecipherable through the cloth stuffed into his mouth.

"Draco, you've learned the use of the Unforgivables, it's time you had some first-hand practice."

Malfoy smiled as if he'd been waiting for this moment all his life. Rolling up the sleeves of his robes, he revealed the Dark Mark burned into his forearm with obvious pride. He sneered down at Harry, who was panting shakily on the floor and responded, "Your girlfriend must be feeling pretty bad by now, huh, Potter? I'm sure she feels like it's her fault you got caught. Serves her right for not showing. I had some amusing plans for her while she was here, now they'll have to wait a while. _Crucio!"_

Malfoy kept the curse on Harry for a long time before Narcissa finally intervened. "Enough Draco. The Dark Lord wants information from him, and the pleasure of killing him personally. He won't be pleased if you turn his brain to mush. Wormtail put him back in his cell and guard him this time. I'll arrange to have a Dementor sent down to act as a permanent guard shortly."

Malfoy smirked. "Potter will be thrilled. You get on so well with the Dementors, don't you, Potty?"

Harry was barely conscious and only his eyes registered Malfoy's words. Still, Ron could see the first trace of real fear in them. Harry still had such a hard time dealing with the Dementorsand he didn't even have a wand. Pettigrew hauled Harry roughly to his feet but he couldn't stand and his knees buckled. His lip was bleeding profusely from where he'd bitten through it. Ron watched with a sick feeling of dread as Harry was brutally dragged from the room_. They couldn't put a Dementor in with him! He'd never last._

The two women followed them out the door. Malfoy turned and glared at Ron. "Doesn't seem fair that Scarhead should get to have all the fun. Maybe you'd like a taste of what he's in for?"

Ron stared defiantly back at Malfoy; the gag muffled a string of curses his mother would berate him for.

Malfoy raised his wand and pointed it at Ron. "_Crucio_."

Ron had never experienced anything so painful in his entire life. Pain more intense than he'd ever imagined ripped through his body. He wished he would just die to make it stop, anything to make it stop. After what seemed like an eternity but was actually only a brief moment, Malfoy lifted the curse and left the room without another word.

After the door clicked shut, Ron struggled to control his shaking limbs. He couldn't even swipe at the tears that filled his eyes. The only things supporting him were the ropes binding him to the bed. He began furiously working on the ropes that bound his wrists to the bedpost. They'd already come slightly loose from his struggles while they were torturing Harry. Ron was determined to get untied and find a way out of here. It was his turn to save Harry!

Harry didn't know how long he'd been there. The days had blended together and time had no meaning. The presence of a Dementor outside his cell meant he'd spent the majority of time unconscious, trapped in the torturous hell of his past. He'd tried to use his wandless magic to summon a Patronus, but was unable to make the spell work. He didn't know if it was simply impossible or that he was just too drained from the Dementor to make it work.

The Death Eaters holding him seemed to take enormous pleasure in inflicting pain, as if Harry was somehow responsible for all their trouble. They appeared to be competing to see who could inflict the most pain without killing him. That pleasure was reserved for Voldemort himself. He'd lost count of the number of times he'd been under the Cruciatus. When they got bored of that, they'd resorted to their fists or any other number of painful curses they could come up with. He tried to pay attention to who entered the cell and keep track of names, but after a while it all blended together in his mind. To ensure there would be no chance of his escaping again, someone had aimed a _Reducto_ curse at his knees. He was sure they were broken for he could no longer stand up and walking would be impossible.

Pain was nothing new to Harry; he'd dealt with it many times before. He just tried to focus his mind on something else. He had noticed his body seemed to heal at a remarkably quick rate. Still, there were so many injuries now, he'd lost track of when and how he'd received them all.

He guessed he'd been here a week, with no food or water and not allowed any sleep unless unconscious. Harry found himself hoping Voldemort would hurry up and arrive because he didn't know how much more he could take. He hadn't seen or heard anything about Ron since the day he'd escaped. He just prayed they hadn't punished Ron for his flight.

He was in trouble and he knew it. He was so weak and physically exhausted, he wasn't sure how he'd hold any kind of Occlumency shield when he had to. He was currently huddled on the floor, shivering. The cell was freezing, even without the Dementor and there was no rug or blanket to lie on. His thoughts kept alternating between grim determination and bitter despair. Sometimes he'd come close to just giving up, then fight back with a fierce intensity that surprised even himself.

Every bone in his body ached and he'd begun to cough up some blood. He wasn't sure what that meant, but knew it couldn't be good. He was worried about Ginny, too. Malfoy was right, she must be frantic by now and he hated to think of her being upset. He used the image of her face to calm himself down when he began to panic and it really did help.

He was so happy they never got their hands on her! He wished he could feel her fingers running through his hair right now. He always loved when she did that. There was something so gentle and calming about it. She was his safe spot; she'd become his safety net. When he took that trip to the ocean he was going to bring Ginny with him, he laughed deliriously. He'd protect her, so help him; she'd never be touched by any of this again. Harry clung to these thoughts in his brief moments of lucidity. Whenever the Dementor was far enough away to give him a reprieve, he thought of Ginny. He remembered wondering over Christmas break what love was and how to know if you really loved someone.

If being trapped here had served any purpose at all, it had made one thing crystal clear in his mind. He loved Ginny Weasley with all his heart, and so help him, he wasn't going to die without telling her. She'd been his rock through grieving for Sirius, through his anxiety about Moony's health, through his worries over the Prophecy, even while he attempted to figure out his own raging hormones and what it all meant. She was always there, calm and strong, and supportive. And she loved him. He knew that now.

He'd never been any good at expressing his emotions, he just didn't know how. With Ginny, there was never a need tell her how he was feeling, she always just knew. There was a connection between them that was more than words could ever say. She'd done that for him and now she deserved to actually _hear_ it from him. So help him, he was going to get the chance to tell her.

For the first time in his life he was sure without a shadow of a doubt that someone loved him and was worrying about him. For the first time, he had wants of his own. He wanted to grow old. He wanted to get married, and maybe finally have that family he'd always longed for and been denied. He wanted a life with Ginny, and Voldemort was not going to take that away from him again! He wanted to live! He wanted to give her everything she so richly deserved.

No matter what happened here, no matter how it turned out, he wasn't going to give up. She would know that if he went down, he went down fighting. He had something worth living for, someone he wanted to live for, and he'd never give up

So lost in thoughts of Ginny, he was unaware at first of the coldness seeping into his veins. His body began to shiver uncontrollably as his mother's voice filled his head

__

"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"

"Stand aside, you silly girlstand aside, now"

"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead –"

"Not Harry! Pleasehave mercyhave mercy"

The screaming and Voldemort's shrill laughter became one and he knew no more.

__

Harry looked around in confusion, trying to place where he was. He was in a small room that seemed both strange and familiar at the same time. There was a warm fire blazing in the hearth and it gave him a safe, comfortable feeling. He sat on the couch and looked around when suddenly, he found Sirius sitting next to him. He was startled at first, but then felt as if he'd always known Sirius would be there.

"Sirius!" he yelped, wrapping his arms around his Godfather.

Sirius returned the hug and ruffled his hair with fondness. "I told you I'd always be here when you needed me, kiddo"

"I'm in big trouble, Sirius. I know Voldemort is coming, but I'm so tired. I don't know that I can fight him."

"You can and you will. No matter how weak they try to make you, it's you who have all the strength. Your strength comes from in here," Sirius said, pointing at Harry's chest.

"I don't understand."

"It's your heart, Harry. Your capacity to love and be loved in return. It's your emotions that are your greatest strength. You have a huge capacity to love, despite everything you've been through. You give that love freely, and it's given to you in return. Your friends, the Order, strangers even, would die for you, die to protect you. Voldemort can not understand that, and he never will. He leads with fear and intimidation. His followers may die on his orders, but they'd never willingly lay down their lives to save him. They left him formless for thirteen years. If it were you who were missing, Harry, your friends would search until their last breath to find you. They are looking for you now, and they'll be here soon. You just have to hang on. Help is coming."

"Sirius?"

Sirius was smirking at him knowingly, that mischievous twinkle shining in his eyes. "You've finally realized that you're in love with your Ginny. Tell her, Harry, she needs to hear it from you. Concentrate on that love for Ginny, for Moony, for Ron and Hermione and all the Weasleys. Voldemort can not beat that."

"Please stay with me," Harry whispered. "I'm scared, Sirius."

"I'm always here, Harry, and I always will be. Your parents are so proud of you, we all are. I have to go now, but remember. Concentrate on your feelings, on your love for your family. They are your family, Harry, in every sense of the word, and they are what will pull you through."

"What about Ron?"

"Ron's okay, he's just worried about you. Quite frankly, Harry, he's looking a whole lot better than you are at this point."

Harry smirked. "Gee, thanks."

"Any time, kiddo."

As the image of Sirius faded, Harry felt himself slowly drifting back to consciousness. His cell came into view and he realized there was another Death Eater standing in the door. He steeled himself for what he knew was coming; they were always so predictable. After a few moments of silence, he opened his eyes and looked again.

Standing in the doorway was his dreaded Potions Master, wearing full Death Eater garb minus the mask. The familiar sneer was on his face and his black eyes glittered dangerously. He looked at Harry in silence for a few moments before raising his wand and uttering loudly, "_Crucio_."

A/N: Hi everyone! Just relax! Update will be soon. I had a few reviewers asking about the Marauder's Map so I just thought I'd remind you that Harry doesn't have it. Remember, the twins asked to borrow it because they were working on creating something similar. When Harry last had it, Diana Trent was identified as Diana Trent; the switch took place after the twins borrowed the map. With all that happened to them over Christmas, their project just got delayed. I did try and cover my bases!


	34. Rescue

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Thirty-four

Rescue

Professor Snape lifted the curse almost immediately, glancing behind him tensely as he did so. The distant murmur of voices from above continued unchanged. Harry watched silently from his position on the floor, struggling to regain his composure as Snape cocked his head and listened cautiously to the silence from the stairway. He entered the room wordlessly and knelt by Harry's side, pulling several vials from the pocket of his robes.

Harry, still panting slightly from the pain of the curse, blinked at him repeatedly, but remained silent as well. His Potions Master's eyes glittered darkly, but Harry couldn't read the emotion behind them. Snape held out a Potion to him and Harry took it with a trembling hand.

"Drink that quickly," Snape commanded coldly. His voice was a mere whisper, his teeth gritted together as if he was loathe to be so close to Harry. Harry imagined he probably didn't smell so good and the grease in his hair could rival Snape's own.

"What is it?" Harry tired to question but his raw throat burned. He still wasn't about to trust anything Snape would give him without inquiry, there was no love lost between these two.

Snape sneered at his insolence, but as his eyes raked Harry's broken form, Harry could have sworn he saw a brief trace of something like compassion. That emotion was so foreign to everything he had ever known and experienced from Snape that he was sure he must have been mistaken.

"It's a Strengthening Potion. It's very mild so it should go undetected. Unfortunately, that also means it won't last for long. It should help get you through the next hour anyway. Hurry up! I've several more you need to take and I don't have a lot of time here! They expect me to be torturing you and will soon want to come down for the show," he barked. "Take this chocolate too."

Harry downed the contents of the vial quickly, grimacing at the bitter taste. He thought he detected a brief smirk from the corner of Snape's mouth and was sure the man had purposely done nothing to improve the taste of the Potion. He couldn't help the amusement that shone in his eyes at the idea Snape was giving him chocolate. He hoped the twins would find out about it. It did help ward off the lingering chill from the effects of the Dementor, however, so he gobbled it up greedily.

"Now this one," Snape said, handing Harry another vial. "It should at least help you to walk. Being as dim as you are, even without those head injuries, I need to make sure you understand that it would be better to keep the fact you can walk from your captors until you need to get away."

Harry ignored the barb. "Why now? What's going on?"

Snape watched as Harry drank the second Potion and answered, "I've informed the Order of your location. Our curse breaker is about to break through the wards. Help should be arriving shortly."

Harry couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped his lips and he briefly shut his eyes in thankfulness. He knew Snape was referring to Bill and his heart soared at the thought of seeing Ron's brother again. Despite his trepidation over anyone getting hurt to rescue him, he desperately wanted to get out of here.

"Don't get over confident, Potter. The Dark Lord is also expected today and it's down to a race to see who will arrive first."

Harry cringed, so this was it! "What about Ron?"

"Mr. Weasley has fared much better than you. They've gone to retrieve him and will be bringing him to your cell shortly before moving you both outside. The Dark Lord is planning a bit of a show. He wants an audience to see the destruction of the Boy-Who-Lived and the triumph of the Dark Lord. He wants to prove you didn't live after all, merely survived a few extra years." Snape answered with a twitch. Despite the seriousness of the situation, it occurred to Harry that this was the most civil conversation he'd ever had with the man.

"Here, take this last Potion, it should help to dull some of the pain. Voldemort would be able to detect if I gave you anything to help the effects of the Cruciatus and we can't risk that. All of these potions are temporary and the full weight of your injuries will come crashing back down upon you when they wear off. You need to get to an Order member before that happens because most likely you'll pass out. They all have Portkeys to transport you back to Hogwarts."

Harry drank the last of the Potions and coughed slightly. He opened his eyes to find Snape staring at him, his expression unfathomable. The Potions seemed to be doing their job because he was suddenly feeling stronger than he had in days. Even the ache in his knees was gone and he could breath easier despite his broken ribs. He pulled himself to a seated position.

"Why didn't you inform Dumbledore that Trent was really Narcissa Malfoy?"

Snape clenched his teeth as he hissed, "The Dark Lord doesn't happen to share your _noble_ ideals. The only one within his organization who knows everything that is going on is himself. You'd be wise to pay attention to that if you ever expect to beat him."

Harry held his breath, feeling the panic set in again. _How am I supposed to beat him? I can't even stand up!_

"PotterListen to me carefully and try to pay attention. The Dark Lord wants the Prophecy, he's aware you have that information. Give it to him."

Harry just blinked at Snape; positive he hadn't heard him properly. "What?"

"When he performs the Legilimency spell upon you, don't put up a big fight, just enough to be convincing, then let him have the information he wants."

"Are you crazy? I'm not giving him anything—"

"Listen to me, you arrogant little brat, and listen well. I'm not here risking my own neck over any great desire to see you survive! I'm doing it because Dumbledore asked me to help. He seems to feel you are necessary and that we must get you away at all costs. You are not in any condition to fight him and win, he'll get the information anyway and your mind will be left shattered."

"If you let him believe you are fighting him, but surrender the information he wants, it will give him pause. _You_ certainly needed time to digest the contents of the Prophecy, he will too. He'll not want to eliminate you as long as there is a slight risk it could go wrong for him. He likes to be in complete control. The _marking you as his equal'_ will distress him. It will remind him of what happened the last time and he won't risk that again without looking at his options carefully."

Harry started at Snape's words. _So he did know what the Prophecy said!_ What he was saying made sense, but Harry was unsure. Dumbledore had wanted this information kept from himWhat if Snape was working as a double agent? But if he were, he could have just given Voldemort the Prophecy at any time.

"Dumbledore would of course prefer he not get the information, but he knows your survival is more pressing. _He_ believes you will one day be a credible opponent, strong enough to defeat him, but you're not ready for this. If you take him on now, we'll all lose and I don't wish to spend the remainder of my days in service as a spy. You're too weakened after spending the week with a Dementor and he's going to get this information out of you anyway. I know you have some acting abilities, Potter. You've certainly pulled the wool over they eyes of most of the staff, use yourfor something useful!"

Harry studied the man in front of him for a moment, weighing his options. "Why are you doing this?" he asked.

Snape looked at him coldly for a long time, and Harry didn't think he was going to answer. He was surprised when Snape did begin to speak. "Despite the fact I despised your father to the day he died, I owe him a life debt. I take that responsibility seriously. I also feel I owe one to your mother."

Harry looked up sharply; Snape had never mentioned anything about Lily since that night Harry forced his way into Snape's memories. "My mother?"

"She was a Healer, and cared for me after I turned from the Dark, before I turned spy for Dumbledore. She was a compassionate person and we werefriendly once, for a brief time in school. She was Muggle born and my family forbade the friendship. Potter's family, despite being pureblood, obviously had no such qualms." Snape's voice was quiet, almost hypnotizing, as his eyes remained focused on the past.

"I was on duty the night your parents were killed. I didn't know what was happening and couldn't get help in time. I sent word after the Dark Lord entered your parent's cottage. I saw the brilliant flash that I assume was when he lost his body. I was still in the house when Hagrid arrived and brought you out."

Harry listened with a lump in his throat, deciphering the words behind what Snape was telling him. _Snape_ was the other man Moony told him his mother was involved with! Snape's family had put a stop to it and he went along with them, then became jealous of James for not having the same pressure from his family. This was too much for Harry to comprehend at the moment and he shoved it to the back of his mind. Getting he and Ron out of here was the priority at the moment; _I'll deal with this later_.

Suddenly, he became aware of other voices outside his cell. Snape stood up and moved quickly away, removing his wand and again holding it on Harry. Remembering what was supposed to be happening, Harry lay back down on the floor and resumed the position of someone who had just been cursed.

Two Death Eaters Harry recognized as Macnair and Nott shoved a disheveled looking Ron into the cell. Ron was arguing with them as they pushed him in and he could tell Ron was getting on their nerves. Harry had to cover his smirk_, good for you, mate!_

Ron looked thinner than he had when Harry had seen him last, paler and drawn, with dark circles beneath his eyes making the brilliant blue stand out vividly. Although slightly the worse for wear, he seemed healthy overall. Obviously the assessment was not mutual as Ron's face dropped in horror when he got a look at Harry.

"Bugger, Harry! You look like hell!"

"Did you get a chance to show the Potter brat what you thought of him?" He heard Macnair address Snape. The trio of Death Eaters moved into the hallway to discuss their plans while Ron knelt down at Harry's side and helped him to sit up. Harry couldn't risk telling Ron he was feeling all right, fearing one of the guards might overhear him.

"Bloody Hell, Harry. What have they done to you?"

Harry just blinked tiredly, trying to convey with his eyes that he was all right. Ron was incensed and Harry noticed the red coloring of his friend's face as he stood and whirled on Snape and the others. "Getting a real kick out of this, are you, Snape? None of you would stand a chance against him in a real fight."

"Sit down, Mr. Weasley," spat Snape. "Unless you want a dose of what we served to Mr. Potter, I suggest you hold your tongue. We could easily have that Dementor back in hear to quiet you down."

Harry couldn't help the shudder that ran through him at mention of the Dementor and he knew Ron was aware of his reaction. He paled slightly but his fury seemed to be overpowering that fear. He pulled his fist back and swung at Snape while Harry screamed, "Ron!"

Snape ducked and Ron's fist connected with Nott's jaw. Harry heard the crunch and saw the man flung back against the wall. Macnair raised his wand but Snape knocked his hand away, sending the jet of red light streaking harmlessly into the air.

"Don't stun him now, idiot! The Dark Lord wants him coherent. He wants Mr. Potter here to get the full effect of the pain he's about to inflict on Mr. Weasley. Let's move them to the location."

"How do you want to do this?" Macnair questioned before the three lowered their voices in discussion.

Ron knelt down next to Harry again. "Hang in there, mate."

Harry couldn't stand the fear he saw in Ron's eyes. He was also deeply touched by Ron's loyalty. "Ron, listen to me," he whispered. "When we get outside, keep your temper and stay down. The Order is on the way. Bill is bringing the wards down right now."

"How do you know?"

"Whatever happens," Harry continued, ignoring Ron's question, "just try not to draw attention to yourself and get to any member of the Order you can. They'll have Portkeys to get you out of here. If anything happensif Itell Ginnytell her"

"We're _both_ getting out of here, Harry!"

"That's the plan, but if anything goes wrongplease tell her"

"She knows, mate. She knows."

Harry nodded solemnly as the two were lifted up and hauled outside.

Harry was blinded by the bright sunlight when they first emerged from his dark dungeon. Somehow, being locked away with the Dementor had made him forget it was actually June. The sun was warm and the smell of wildflowers wafted fragrantly through the air. It reminded him of Ginny's hair and he smiled_, Merlin I want to see her so bad!_

The area they were brought to was set up for what looked like some kind of stage production. A circular stone was raised slightly above the ground and Harry was dumped unceremoniously in front of it. Ron was dragged upon the stone and made to stand to one side as he was tied to a metal pole. Snape knelt in front of Harry and strapped his wrist into a cuff secured to another black, metal stand. It was very similar to the cuffs he'd been placed in when they'd first arrived.

Snape muttered an incantation quietly and Harry opened his eyes wide in surprise. Although the cuff appeared to be secured tightly around his wrist, Harry could feel how loose it was. He could easily slip his hand out. Snape must have used some kind of concealing charm. He nodded slightly to the impassive Potions Master.

He screamed out in sudden pain as his scar seemed to rip open and his vision blurred with the intensity. Snape looked at him in alarm as he clasped both hands to his forehead. He could feel a warm, sticky substance there. Had the scar burst open? That had never happened before.

Harry knew what the blinding pain meant...Voldemort was near. A moment later, he saw him striding forth, his long cape billowing in the wind. Lucius Malfoy followed closely at his heels, his head bowed meekly in subservience.

Harry's heart began to beat madly but he stared defiantly into the red, pitiless eyes that had haunted all his nightmares. He wouldn't cave in to his fear now. He'd come too far for that, endured too much. There would be time for the fear later

"Potter," Voldemort hissed.

"Tom," Harry returned, remembering Dumbledore's use of the man's given name.

"That name means nothing to me," Voldemort nearly screeched, and Harry saw Ron pull back in horror from the creature in front of him. Ron had never seen Voldemort in person before. Harry couldn't blame him for his revulsion. Tom Riddle was now a grotesque cross between a man and a snake.

"Then you won't mind my using it," Harry replied, getting a surge of pleasure from Voldemort's obvious fury. He felt slightly reckless from the pleasure that tormenting Riddle gave him. The pain from his scar was blinding and he had to force himself to concentrate in order to block it out. _Where was the Order?_ They had better hurry, Harry didn't think he could hold him off for long.

As if answering his call, the air was suddenly filled with the popping sounds of Wizards and Witches Apparating on the grounds. Harry could see Remus, Tonks and most of the Weasleys. Even Dumbledore himself was there. The Death Eaters began to surge forward as the battle commenced. The air became littered with color as curses volleyed from each side, exploding in the air with great bangs as they met.

Voldemort took another step towards Harry, sending Snape, Macnair, and Nott off to battle while he extracted the Prophecy from Harry's mind. He seemed impervious to the sounds of the raging battle going on around them. Harry felt a thrill of fear course through him as the cold, red eyes locked on his determined green.

"You have some information I've waited a long time for," he said casually as Harry felt the intrusion within his mind. Instantly, he put his shield up, but it was more powerful than anything he'd ever dealt with, even holding off Snape. His entire body began to shake and he was glad he was already seated. The effort to hold his shield was intensified tenfold from the intense pain in his scar. It had never occurred to him how much a problem it would be.

He felt his Occlumency shield crumbling and allowed it to fall, the words of the Prophecy playing like a recording in his mind. He saw the snakelike eyes of his enemy fly open wide as he realized the full impact of the words.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Jonathan Taylor battling fiercely with Macnair. "Hang on, Harry," he yelled. "Concentrate on those you love!"

Voldemort hadn't abandoned the fight, like Snape suspected he would. He remained within Harry's mind, probing, searchingHarry was beginning to feel drained again and suspected the Potions were beginning to wear off. His mother's voice echoed in his mind. Still, he forced himself to focus on the Weasleys and how much they all meant to him. Everything he'd ever learned about real family was taught to him by the Weasleys, and he cared for them all very deeply.

Voldemort suddenly screamed in pain and took a staggered step back from Harry, his eyes filled with confusion, his hand clutching at his chest.

"That's right, Harry! Focus your thoughts on everyone who loves you," Jonathan instructed while still parrying Macnair's spells.

Harry's head was pounding from the struggle to keep Voldemort out, but it appeared to be working. He focused on more of the memories he cherished: Mrs. Weasley after she'd given him a hand on the family clock. _"Happy Christmas, Harry. I told you already that you'll always be a Weasley;"_

Moony after the battle at the Burrow, _"Your parents loved you. Sirius loved you. And I love you too, Harry. Whatever happens, don't give up;"_

Ron insisting families were allowed to vent on one another, _"When have you ever demanded an apology from us, Harry? We've all had our disagreements. It's over and I certainly don't need an apology from you;" _and

Hermione after he'd revealed the Prophecy to them_, "We love you, and we'd never let you go through this alone. We're going to help you any way we can."_

Voldemort was holding his own head in both hands, much the same way Harry was. His nose was bleeding slightly and he staggered as he moved. He turned his fury towards Jonathan who continued to yell encouragement to Harry.

He raised his wand and snarled, "_Avada Kedavra_!"

There was absolutely nothing Harry could do. He watched as the jet of green light hurtled towards his mentor in slow motion, striking him full in the chest. Jonathan's eyes opened wider slightly, before he crumpled dead in a heap on the ground.

"Nooooooo!" Harry screamed, his breath coming in short, painful gasps. He rose to his feet, for the first time since the encounter began and would have run towards his teacher, even though he knew it was already too late. His breathing was ragged, shock and horror threatening to take over. _No! Not now! I'll think about it later_

Voldemort steadied himself, seeming to gain strength from Harry's pain, and blocked his path. Harry again felt the invasion in his mind. This was it, Voldemort was going to kill him and the Prophecy would be fulfilled. The more Harry allowed the fear to overwhelm him, the stronger Voldemort's intrusion became. Harry could see Ron staring in horror and knew he'd be killed instantly after Harry fell. Steeling his resolve, Harry steadied his emotions and turned back toward the monster that had hunted him all his life.

This time, however, he knew what to do. He remembered how Ginny had told him it would infuriate Tom in the diary when her loyalty to Harry wouldn't be swayed. His thoughts turned to Ginny.

Her smile; her laughter; the sweet way she'd run her fingers through his hair to make him feel better; her face in the Common Room when they'd had their battle over Harry's pushing her away, _"I've loved you for as long as I can remember. It's my choice to wait for you, to fight for you, to stand by you! I'm always here and always will be. There is nothing you can do to change that!"_ She loved him! She truly loved him, and he knew he loved her. He loved her!

Harry was startled by the intensity of his own emotions as Voldemort was slammed backwards and crumpled to the ground. Blood was pouring freely from both nostrils and he appeared too weak to even raise his wand. His red eyes were mere slits, conveying his anger and intense confusion. The two opponents each lay on the ground, unable to move, and panted heavily.

"This isn't over," Voldemort finally said.

"Stay away from my family," Harry ground out.

Voldemort grabbed onto something from within the pocket of his robes, and disappeared instantly, leaving his Death Eaters to continue the battle. Obviously he'd had a Portkey; he was in no shape to Disapparate.

Harry was stunned; he'd hurt him! He had truly hurt him! His eyes raked the surrounding grounds; there was no way he could get up. Although the battle had obviously drained Voldemort of his power, it had taken Harry's too. He felt incapable of so much as a levitation charm at the moment. All the pains from the torture, the lack of food and sleep, and the Dementor crashed down upon him. Snape's Potions had worn off. The pain in his ribs made breathing difficult.

There were other battles still raging everywhere Harry looked. The Order was still fully engaged with the Death Eaters. He could see Tonks fighting with Lucius Malfoy while Moody was cursing Narcissa. His heart nearly stopped beating as he saw a still-worn looking Remus again facing off with Wormtail. Harry chewed on his lower lip as he tried to stand, the pain in his knees not allowing him to do so. He clutched at the ground, trying to pull himself closer and lend a hand. It turned out to be unnecessary as a moment later, Remus aimed his wand at Wormtail and spat, "_Corpus_ _Inflammare_!"

Harry watched in sickening fascination as Wormtail's body went up in flames. He screamed in agony and rolled on the ground, trying to douse it to no avail. Remus stood above him mutely, a stoic expression on his face, but made no mood to save him. The expression on Remus's face frightened Harry and he wanted to get over to him, touch him, and make sure he was actually real. Wormtail's screaming finally ceased and Remus slumped to the ground, staring at the pile of ash that had once been his childhood friend. The only visible remainder being a scorched silver hand.

Above him, on the circular, stone platform, a slight movement caught Harry's eye. He raised his head wearily to see Draco Malfoy stalking towards him, a murderous look on his face. Even in his exhaustion, Harry couldn't help but be baffled by Malfoy. After all, he'd just battled with the most feared Wizard of their time and he'd held his own. Did Malfoy honestly think he was going to quail under the heated stare of a glorified, tow-headed ferret?

Harry knew he didn't have the ability to raise even a weak shield, never mind to counter a curse, but Malfoy didn't know that. He'd have to bluff and hope to distract him until help arrived. The look on Malfoy's face showed he's seen the battle between Harry and Voldemort and it hadn't ended at all the way he'd expected to. The fact Harry was still alive seemed to be a great insult to Malfoy's integrity.

He strode angrily towards Harry, a glint in his eye and sneer on his lip. Harry met the gaze unflinchingly but was surprised as a shadow fell over him. Ron had freed himself from his bonds and moved to stand in front of Harry, blocking Malfoy's path. Malfoy nodded as if accepting a challenge.

Both boys wore expressions of grim determination as these lifelong enemies circled each other warily. Each felt justified in their loathing, and nothing and no one would stop this battle now. There was no Hermione to tug on Ron's robes, no teachers to intervene. They weren't students; it was a battle between a Death Eater and a member of the Order of the Phoenix.

They fired several curses back and forth, each managing to get their defensive shields up in time. They'd seen each other battle during the D.A. and knew each other's weaknesses. Still, for a time they seemed fairly evenly matched. Malfoy struck the first hit, aiming at Ron's wand hand, "_Ossis transit_!"

Harry heard the bones in Ron's hand as they were crushed and Ron screamed in pain, agony written all over his face. Ron gripped his wand in the other hand while Malfoy stood there gloating

Ron hissed, "_Expelliarmus_!"

The force of Ron's anger behind the disarming spell sent Malfoy hurtling backwards. His head struck the metal post that had been used to bind Ron with pounding force. The sickening sound as his head connected with the immovable post echoed in the stillness. Malfoy's eyes rolled up in his head and he crumpled to the ground, a trickle of blood coming from both his nose and his mouth. He was unmistakably dead.

Ron stood there in utter shock, unable to comprehend the suddenness of what had just happened. His mouth worked furiously, but no sound came out. All the color drained from his face as he sunk to his knees in horror over what he had done.

Harry wanted to go to him, to say something, to let him know it wasn't his fault. It was self-defense! He found he couldn't drag himself that far, his body hurt more than he'd ever remembered and his grip on consciousness was failing. Bile rose in his throat as he stared at Ron in pain. Harry was so terrified at the idea of having to murder, and now it was Ron who had to deal with that guilt. His vision dimmed as the scenery around him seemed to fade in and out of focus. He knew he was grievously wounded, but was sure Madam Pomfrey would be able to take care of it when he finally returned to Hogwarts.

An unearthly scream of fury rose through the air, echoing over the vast openness as Narcissa Malfoy stared at her son, lying in a heap on the raised platform. The sound seemed to vibrate and drown out all the other sounds of battle until Narcissa Disapparated with a "pop."

Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, with the intensity of animals defending their cubs, had dispensed a number of opponents as they made their way over to the two boys. Nothing was going to stop them from reaching Ron and Harry. Mr. Weasley bolted ahead as he ran to the top of the platform and knelt down beside Ron, who was obviously in shock. Harry could see tears in the man's eyes as he wrapped his arms around his son. Ron had silent tears of his own streaming down his face and he kept shaking his head in denial, staring at Malfoy's prone form. Mr. Weasley patted Ron gently on the back and whispered something in his ear. Ron never even acknowledged his father's presence as a Portkey took them away.

Mrs. Weasley went to Harry, her own eyes filling up at the sight of him. She went to touch his face then pulled her hand back, her eyes searching for some part of him that wasn't bruised. Harry struggled to hold his composure; the full weight of everything that had happened since Ginny received that note from Malfoy beginning to break through his calm exterior. Wrapping his arms around himself in a pitiful attempt at comfort, he looked away from Mrs. Weasley and fixed his vision firmly on a tree nearby, blinking furiously.

"Oh, Harry, dear. Everything will be all right now." She wrapped her arms around him tightly and held him as she'd done once before, after the Third Task, like a mother would. "You're safe now, Harry. You're safe and everything will be okay." She continued to whisper these gentle, soothing words and he wished she would stop. They were bringing him dangerously close to the edge.

He took deep breaths, blinking furiously and trying to hold it together. Jonathan's face appeared in his mind. _"Harry, I'd like you to call me Jonathan, as my friends do."_

He pressed his lips together, trying to stop his lower lip from trembling as she patted his back gently. Breathing through his nose, he fought to close them off as the images of his captivity and the battle raced for prominence in Harry's mind. _His parents screaming, Sirius falling through the Veil, Cedric in the graveyard, Death Eaters and their endless curses, Voldemort's angry red eyes as he probed Harry's mind, Ron in shock after killing Malfoy, Moony sitting on his knees staring at the old friend he'd just killed._ Don't think about it nowthink about it laterthink about it later

Without warning, he couldn't hold it back anymore as he felt his face scrunch up in misery. He buried his head in Mrs. Weasley's shoulder, finally allowing the sobs to wrack his bruised body. She just held him tightly and allowed him to cry. The memories the Dementor's had forced him to endure fought for prominence in his mind and he was helpless to shut them out. He cried for Sirius; for his parents and the home he'd never see; for Jonathan; and for Hestia; for Cedric; and the Burrow. He cried for Ron and the burden he'd now have to live with for the rest of his life; for Moony, forced to kill the last of his childhood friends; and for all the fear and terror he'd experienced facing Voldemort. He went over that silent list of names of all the victims in his mind as he finally allowed himself to grieve in Mrs. Weasley's safe embrace.

He was never aware of Professor Dumbledore approaching, or taking in the scene with sorrow and standing guard while Mrs. Weasley offered her comfort. He just finally allowed himself the one thing he'd always secretly longed for, to be held by a mother. This was a comfort even Ginny could never have given him. Somehow, within Mrs. Weasley's arms he could feel the presence of Lily Potter and knew from a deep, long buried part of himself that she would approve of this woman to act as her surrogate.

He didn't know how long it was she held him there, but eventually he felt the pull of the Portkey as the two of them were sped back to Hogwarts, back home.

A/N: So there you go! I know JKR has something planned for the debt Wormtail owes Harry, but I really wanted to let Remus get him. Shrugs, so I did! Samhaincat, I'm so sorry about Malfoy, (well, not really, but I know you like him!). This was all plotted out long before I "met" you. The scene here at the end with Mrs. Weasley was strictly for me. I'll never forgive Hermione for interrupting at the end of GoF and I've always wanted to redo that. So I did.

A special call out to GinnytheSilly on Fanfiction, you were my 1000th reviewer! I remember being terrified as I posted the first chapter and wondering if I'd get any response, lol!


	35. 35 Recovery

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Thirty-five

Recovery

Harry could hear voices coming from somewhere within the darkness. He was in a warm, safe place and he wanted to stay there, he didn't want to go near the voices. The voices hurt. He didn't want to feel anything anymore. He pulled back, trying to go deeper into the blackness. It was peaceful here, and he was so tired, he just needed to sleep

He alternated between deep sleep and a strange kind of awareness. At times, he could hear voices around him and pick out snatches of conversation, but he didn't completely recognize anyone. He felt as if he were floating in some altered universe.

__

"Please wake up, Harry. I need you. You have to be all right. I'm so sorry that I showed you that note."

"Come on, Ginny. It's time to go back to the Common Room. Madam Pomfrey will call us if there is any change."

"I don't want to leave him, Hermione. He needs to know I'm here."

"I don't think he knows anything right now, Ginny, and you need to study. You have your first exam tomorrow."

"He does know I'm here! I'm sure of it."

That voice sounded so desperate and sad, he wanted to help her and let her know everything was all right, but he was so tired

__

"Harry, dear, it's time to come back to us. We all miss you terribly. Ginny's been taking care of Hedwig for you and if you don't wake up soon, she just might pinch your owl for herself. Ron's doing much better, but he's worried about you. It's time to wake up, dear. Don't think I won't scold you just because you're in that hospital bed, Harry James. If you're going to be a Weasley, you're going to get yelled at like one. Wake up and come back to us, right now, young man."

Whoever that was wouldn't hurt him. That voice would always help him. He knew that, he tried to open his eyes, he wanted to go to that voice, but she seemed so far away. It was warm here; he'd just rest for a while

__

"Honestly, Harry, it's time to snap out of this. Ginny's doing miserably on her exams because she can't concentrate. She's so worried about you. We're all terribly worried about you. You have to be all right, Harry. You just have to. Ron needs you. He's not doing so well, Harry. It's not like him to bottle everything up, that's your style. Ron is supposed to explode and lash out. That I can handle, but this You're the only one I think who can help him right now. Think of all the schoolwork you're missing, Harry. You're going to have to make all that up, you know. You don't like summer work and you're just making more for yourself."

There was something he needed to do, but what? This voice sounded urgent, demanding, and he knew he was missing something. He didn't want any demands on him, though. He'd had enough and he was tired. He just wanted to sleep

__

"Hiya, mate. Ginny insists you can hear me and even Madam Pomfrey seems to _agree with her. It's time you stop being a lazy git and wake up, Harry. Do you know we lost the Quidditch cup? Our reserve Keeper sucks, from what I've heard. Ginny played Seeker and she was determined to catch the Snitch for you, but she's been so distracted she missed it entirely. She's devastated. I couldn't even yell at her she was already feeling so bad. Kind of takes the fun out of it, you know? I think she feels she let you down. You need to wake up and tell her it's all right._

"I'm really sorry, Harry. I tried to get out of that room, I really did! I knew they had a Dementor in there with you, but it was no use. There was nothing I could do. The lack of food was the worst, I never thought I'd survive. You look like hell, mate. You need to wake up, Harry. I need to tell you about Malfoy

Ron. He knew Ron. Ron was there somewhere, he could hear him, he just couldn't seem to find his way back to him. He struggled desperately to let Ron know he was there. He just couldn't find the strength. Keep talking, Ron. I'm coming

__

"Well, Harry, I think it is time you returned to us. We need some answers that only you can tell us, my boy. Professor Snape tells me he instructed you to give the Prophecy to Voldemort. I need to know how much he knows, and what happened during your battle. Professor Snape says it appeared you hurt him. I will inform you of more when you are awake, but we need some answers, Harry. I hope you will rejoin us soonand I hope that you can forgive me."

Professor Dumbledore sounded so sad. Forgive him for what? He tried to raise his hand to reach out to the Headmaster, but his arm felt so heavy, he couldn't lift it. He needed to wake up, to tell them he was okay. He didn't want everyone to worry so much about him. He was so tired though, he'd just take a little nap and then he'd tell them

__

"I want you back in your dormitory this instant, Ginevra Weasley! You need a good night's sleep. I'm telling you right now, if you make yourself sick just to get to stay in the Hospital wing with him, I'll have you back at Headquarters with me so fast your head will spin, young lady. You need to finish your exams and you need to sleep, I'll sit with Harry for a while."

"But, Mum–"

"No buts. Go to bed, right now."

"Yes, Mum. You'll call me if he wakes up?"

"Of course. Get some sleep, dear."

Oh oh, he got Ginny in trouble. She'd be furious with him now. Harry again tried to raise his arm and open his eyes, but he just couldn't do it. Where was he? What happened? Why couldn't he open his eyes? As he struggled to wake, he managed to move his fingers slightly but no one noticed. All his energy drained, he fell back into a deep sleep.

Ginny trudged wearily back to the Hospital wing before breakfast. Her body ached and her anxiety was making her heart beat too fast. Her mother had sent her back to her own bed last night and she had to admit, she had needed the sleep. She had two more exams today and the final one tomorrow. She really didn't know what the point was, however. She couldn't concentrate and wasn't doing anywhere near her best on the O.W.L.s.

She just wanted to sit with Harry and be by his side when he woke. He looked terrible; it tore at her heart to think of all he'd been through_. They'd locked him up with a Dementor! _His face was ashen and his skin just hung off his thin frame. All the muscle he'd built up over the year seemed to droop and cave in. He'd lost a lot of weight too quickly and had that sick look that went along with it. His limbs were limp and unresponsive; his body was battered and pale.

Madam Pomfrey said he'd been tortured mercilessly and it would take time for him to heal. Her wand couldn't even read the number of times he'd been put under the Cruciatus and the potions took time to work. He simply wasn't strong enough for anything more yet.

He'd been unconscious by the time her mother had got him back here from Malfoy Manor. Ginny and Hermione had been forced to wait in Dumbledore's office under Professor McGonagall's nose while the others went to rescue Harry and Ron. No one was taking any chances the girls wouldn't try to help. She had to admit, if there had been any way that she and Hermione could have helped, they'd have gone in an instant. Madam Pomfrey refused to even let Ginny see him until the next day, after he'd been stabilized. If the condition she'd found him in was what they called stable, she didn't even want to think about how bad it had been. They'd kept Ron overnight as well, but let him go the next day. Ron's injuries were on an emotional level, and only time would heal them.

Whatever had happened between Harry and Voldemort had completely drained Harry of his magical reserves. Without them, his body was having a hard time healing and the process was agonizingly slow. No matter what anyone said, sometimes she could sense his presence and knew he was there, that he was trying to come back. She wanted to encourage him in any way she could.

She was really worried about his reaction to Jonathan Taylor's death. She wasn't sure how he would take it. While nothing like the relationship he had with Sirius, or even Remus, Jonathan had become important to Harry, and he'd suffered so much loss already. She just hoped he wouldn't try to pull away from everyone again. Why was it that they were always sending him back to those horrible Muggles at his lowest points?

Pushing open the door to the Hospital wing, she strode in and moved to the curtains hiding Harry from view. She pushed them aside and took her familiar position in the chair beside his bed. His eyes were still shut and he looked extremely vulnerable and childlike in sleep. It was only when his eyes were open, eyes that had seen too much, that he seemed older than his years. When he slept, like now, he looked very young.

"Good morning, Harry. You're looking a little better today." It was a lie but she needed to keep things positive. Taking his cold hand in her own, she whispered, "I love you, you know."

Ginny didn't know if she imagined it because she wanted it so badly, or if it really happened. She thought she felt his fingers moving within her hand. She turned her palm up and watched his hand intently, holding her breath as she did so. Sure enough, his long fingers twitched slightly against the palm of her hand.

"Harry. Harry, can you hear me? Move your fingers again if you can."

They were still for a moment and Ginny thought she would cry when suddenly, they moved again, this time grasping her finger and squeezing lightly.

Tears of joy and relief began streaming down her face. _He was waking up!_

"That's right, Harry. You're doing it. Come on, luv; just open your eyes. Come back to me."

Harry squeezed her fingers again and his eyes slowly fluttered open. Those glorious long lashes parted and revealed his tired, but brilliant green eyes. He looked around the room slowly, slightly confused and she knew everything was blurry to him without his glasses. She leaned in close so he could see her without putting them on. Tenderly, she swiped the hair on his forehead back and winced at the scar that stood out vivid red.

"Welcome back, luv. There are a whole lot of people who have been waiting to see you," she smiled widely.

He nodded slightly, bewildered, and trying to put everything together in his head. She poured some water from the pitcher on his nightstand and held the glass while he gratefully took a sip.

"Thanks," he uttered hoarsely.

"I'm going to go get Madam Pomfrey, she'll want to know you're awake."

"No!" He grabbed her arm feebly, then whimpered from the movement. "Stay with me, please."

Ginny's heart melted at his plea. Climbing onto the bed next to him, she slipped her arm beneath his and rested his head on her shoulder. "Of course I'll stay with you, for as long as you want me to. Go to sleep, Harry. I know it hurts, but everything will be okay now."

He was asleep before she even finished speaking, but it was a real sleep this time, not unconsciousness and she knew he'd be okay. She'd sit here and wait for Madam Pomfrey to come by. Ginny burst into tears as she sat there with him, stroking his hair. She'd come so close to losing him, it was unbearable to think about and she knew she'd never survive if she lost him. She continued to sit there holding him long after she should have left for class. Nothing else mattered now; he was going to be okay.

When Harry woke up again, Ginny wasn't there with him, but Ron and Hermione were sitting in chairs on each side of his bed. Hermione was reading some of her notes while Ron held Harry's battered copy of _Quidditch Through the Ages_.

He just studied them quietly for a few minutes. Ron looked better than the last time he'd seen him. Still, Harry could detect some dark smudges beneath his eyes so he knew Ron wasn't sleeping all that well. Hermione also seemed tired, he guessed they'd probably been keeping a vigil here with him. He wondered how long he'd been out.

"How long–" he croaked, intending to ask them the question. His voice gave out before he could finish it, however. _Sweet Merlin, I hurt!_

Both Ron and Hermione jumped at the sound of his voice.

"Harry!" Hermione cried, leaping from her chair and knocking her notes all over the floor. It was a testament to how worried she'd been about Harry that she didn't even care that her meticulously scrawled notes were scattered everywhere. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged tightly. "Thank Merlin, you're finally awake."

Harry couldn't help the grunt of pain that escaped his lips. He tried to cover it to no avail; her firm embrace was killing him.

"Oh," she cried, startled. "I'm so sorry, Harry. Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to. I'm just so happy you're finally awake. Ginny told us you woke up this morning. She's taking one of her exams and will be back when she's done." Hermione's words gushed forth from her mouth so fast it made Harry's head spin.

"Let him breath, Hermione." Ron's voice was exasperated, but still filled with affection. "How are you doing, mate?"

Harry's pride wouldn't let him admit that Hermione's hug had hurt, so he tried to avoid the question by adjusting his weight up on his pillow. He was further dismayed to discover he didn't have the strength to pull himself up. What little color he had drained from his face with the effort.

Ron easily put his arm beneath Harry's and sat him up while Hermione adjusted the pillows to support him. He found it humiliating to be so dependent on anyone. Hermione must have noticed the distress on his face for she said, "Don't worry about feeling drained, Harry. Madam Pomfrey said it's going to take a while for your body to heal. You somehow managed to drain your magical reserves so it's going to take a bit longer than it normally would."

Harry's mind flashed back to Voldemort's red eyes and the intense pressure within his mind as they battled. He'd been so sure he was going to die. He shuddered violently and tried to block the images out, he didn't want to think about that yet.

Hermione placed a hand on his shoulder and gently rubbed his back as he got his composure back in control. He could see the concern in her eyes and the panic in Ron's. He didn't want this; he had to get his emotions in check. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, he asked, "Was anyone else hurt?"

Ron and Hermione exchanged worried glances above his head and he knew they were weighing how much they should tell him.

"Just give it to me straight," he snapped, although he could already feel his eyelids starting to droop. He needed to stay awake long enough to find out about the others. It was irritating him that they were treating him like he was fragile or something; he was embarrassed to realize they were coddling him.

It was Ron who finally answered his question. "Moody was hurt, he's at St. Mungo's. Narcissa Malfoy hit him with that same curse Hermione got hit with last year. He's on a load of Potions, but he'll pull through. She got away. Snape got our wands back though. He gave them both to me when he was securing' me." Ron waved Harry's wand in the air to show him, then replaced it on the nightstand. "I can't believe that git actually helped us. Tonks killed Lucius Malfoy."

Harry nodded slightly, remembering seeing them fighting at some point.

"Did you see what happened to Jonathan Taylor, Harry?" Hermione asked tentatively.

The memory of Jonathan being struck down by the flash of sickly green light played over and over in his mind. Jonathan had been trying to give him instructions on how to keep Voldemort out of his mind. One more person who gave his life so Harry could survive. Why did every adult in his life who actually gave a damn end up getting killed? _When would it ever end? _He shut his eyes tightly, fighting the memory as he felt nausea rise in his stomach. He didn't want to think about that yet.

"Yeah," he whispered, shuddering again.

He felt Ron grab his forearm. "There was nothing you could have done."

Another memory crystallized in his mind and he turned to them in alarm. "Moony?"

"He's doing better," Hermione soothed, her relief at steering the conversation away from Jonathan obvious. "They had him back in St. Mungo's for a few days. He really should never have been on that rescue mission in the first place, but no one could stop him."

"He killed Wormtail."

"Yes, we know." Hermione glanced warily at Ron, as if weighing her words carefully. "He seems to be coping with it okay, although I think it was harder on him than he wants to admit. I don't think he wants to even acknowledge that he ever felt friendship towards Peter Pettigrew. It must be easier to just think of him as what he became."

"Where is he?" Harry asked, fighting the sleep that was trying to claim him once again. He wanted to ask a few more questions.

"Back at Grimmauld Place. Tonks is staying there to keep an eye on him and she and Mrs. Weasley are competing to see who can mother him more. I think he likes that."

Harry grinned, knowing she was right. He shut his eyes for a minute when the fight between Ron and Malfoy arose in his mind. His eyes flew open wide, startled, as he looked intently over at his best mate. "All right, Ron?"

Ron didn't meet his gaze, but instead flexed his hand. "Good as new; Madam Pomfrey fixed it right up. You were right, though; that Skele-Gro stuff is disgusting."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know. I'm okay. Even though I wanted to kill him, I never meant to actually _kill_ him."

"I know. It was an accident and you did what you had to do. He attacked you first, and I think he would have killed you if given the chance. It was me he was coming at before you stood in his way. Thank you, I don't think I could have fought him just then."

"Not to mention it was his fault the two of you were taken in the first place, and he would have done the same to Ginny," Hermione added, rubbing Ron's back in support.

Harry watched as Ron twitched and pulled away from her hand_. That was strange. _ He searched Ron's eyes, trying to find a hidden answer.

"I'm all right. I have my good days and bad days. It's just a strange feeling to know I was responsible for that." Ron's voice was tight and Harry could understand from experience that he wanted to bring an end to the conversation.

Before anything else was said, the curtains around Harry's bed were pulled back and two identical grinning faces peered in.

"Harry, mate! Finally decided to grace us with your presence?" George asked. He looked good; no trace of his former injuries visible and for that, Harry was relieved.

"About time you stopped lazing about!" Fred chimed in.

Both twins moved to the side of the bed Ron was standing on and leaned in to plant a kiss on each one of his cheeks. Ron pulled back spluttering and wiping his face with disgust, "Urggghh! Sod off, you lot!"

Harry laughed feebly at their antics.

Mrs. Weasley peered around the curtains, beaming when she saw Harry sitting up. "All right, you two, settle down. How are you, dear?" she asked as she leaned in to kiss on the cheek.

"Hi, Mrs. Weasley," he smiled, surprised by the warmth he felt at having her there.

"Arthur wanted to join us, but things are so hectic at the Ministry, he couldn't get away. He'll stop by on his way home though, he's anxious to see you for himself. How are you feeling today, Ronald?"

"What's going on at the Ministry, Mum?" Ron asked, sidestepping her mothering concern.

"What isn't going on at the Ministry these days? The rumor about a vote of no confidence has been raised again and Fudge is in a panic. He's got everyone in a frenzy trying to settle things down and push the unpleasantness under the rug"

Harry listened to Mrs. Weasley explaining the situation at the Ministry. He knew the tremble in her voice meant Percy was somehow involved. He just thought he'd shut his eyes for a few minutes while he listened

The first thing Harry noticed the next time he opened his eyes was that it was evening. Candlelight flickered in the Hospital wing, giving off a soft glow. He could see the blurry shape of the moon from the window near his bed. He tried to sit up but didn't have the strength to do it. Firm but gentle hands lifted him to a more comfortable position and he found himself looking into the sparkling blue eyes of Professor Dumbledore. He handed him his glasses and Harry put them on, the room coming into sharp focus.

The nightstand next to his bed was overflowing with cards and gifts. A huge jar of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans from the Gryffindor Quidditch team towered above the cards. From the D.A., he could see a string of Harry Potter Chocolate Frog cards hung like garland above his bed. _Ron was such a prat_.

"Your friends and admirers have been busy, again, I see." Dumbledore smiled merrily. "I am beginning to agree with Madam Pomfrey's idea of your own private bed here, Harry."

Harry smiled grimly. He knew the reason the Headmaster was here. He wanted to talk about things Harry would prefer to forget.

"Professor Snape has told me everything he knows about how you were captured and what happened while you were there. He also tells me you did manage to escape at one point."

"Yeah, they don't know about the wandless magic so I could release the bonds, but they caught us again after I found Ron."

"How did you get your hands free if they were shackled?"

Harry was confused. "ErI told youI did it wandless."

Dumbledore ran his finger along his mouth. "But you couldn't move your hands either, I am assuming."

Harry paused; he hadn't given that much thought. Usually, wandless magic was done with a wave of the hand. "NoI guess I just thought about the spell."

"Very interesting, Harry." He was silent for a few moments and stared very intently. Harry's thoughts were in turmoil, he didn't want to think about this right now. It was already becoming more confusing.

"We need to talk about what happened with Voldemort, Harry." Dumbledore's words echoed Harry's thoughts.

"I know," Harry sighed. "How much do you know."

"I understand Severus advised you to give the Prophecy to him."

"Yes. I didn't trust him at first, but it didn't matter really. I couldn't hold him off. The pain in my scar was so intense, I couldn't keep my focus on the shield."

Dumbledore nodded, a pained expression briefly crossing his aged features. "What happened after he got the Prophecy?"

"Snape thought he'd back off, wanting to make certain he would come out ahead. He didn't stop, though; he stayed in my head. I don't what he was looking for, but I thought my head was going to explode."

"What memories where you envisioning?"

Harry thought about it carefully. "My parents, I think. The night they wereThe night he killed them. It was on my mind from the Dementor."

"I believe he may have been trying to discern what happened that night, to see if he could find a way around it. If he believed he could kill you easily, he would have done so."

Harry swallowed a lump in his throat painfully. "Jonathan kept yelling to me, telling me to concentrate on the people I loved. I started thinking about things that have happened with the Weasleys and Moony. Next thing I knew, he kind of stumbled back, like he was in pain."

Dumbledore leaned forward intently in his chair. "What things specifically were you thinking about?"

"Memories, really. Mrs. Weasley calling me a Weasley; Ron and Hermione saying they'd always stick by methings like that." Harry turned slightly pink at having to reveal these things.

Dumbledore ignored his discomfort and urged him to continue, "And then?"

"He got angry at Jonathan and used the Killing Curse," Harry whispered painfully.

Dumbledore lay a hand on Harry's arm. "I am sorry, Harry. I know he had grown very fond of you. He died in battle, fighting his greatest enemy. He died honorably, and that is how he would have preferred."

"His body was sent back to be buried alongside his family. He left us with his books and detailed notes. Both Bill Weasley and Emmeline Vance are very knowledgeable with Ancient Runes and they have taken up the search for a spell."

Harry was growing tired again, his throat hurt thinking about Jonathan and he had to blink several times to clear his vision. Dumbledore patiently looked through the cards on the nightstand until Harry was ready to continue.

"After hedid that to Jonathanhe got stronger again. It seemed like he wasn't in as much pain. I might be remembering that wrong I was so shocked by what just happened. Anyway, he got back in my head."

"Professor Snape said you did something that sent him flying through the air and that he had to use a Portkey to escape."

"Yeah. I concentrated again."

"Concentrated on what, Harry?"

"On Ginny." Harry felt the blush staining his cheeks and he looked intently at his folded hands on top of the crisp white of the bed sheets. The color of his skin was nearly the same stark white. He didn't want to face Dumbledore's eyes.

"On the fact that you love her?" Dumbledore prompted gently.

It was true, and he wasn't embarrassedmuch. It was his Headmaster he was talking about this love stuff to, after all. Still, there was no way it was going to be Dumbledore who heard it first. That was Ginny's right and he'd see to it that she was the first one he uttered those words out loud to.

Dumbledore stopped pushing and Harry had the distinct impression that his Professor had read his mind. He was too tired to be angry about it, and it got him out of sharing any more.

"Professor Snape has also told me that Voldemort is considerably weakened. His magic is also nearly at burnout and he needs some time to recuperate. It gives us some time to make our summer preparations."

Harry's head was drooping again and he allowed Dumbledore to readjust his pillows wordlessly.

"Harry, you are not only weakened magically, but physically and emotionally as well. You can not be sent back to the Dursleys alone in this condition."

Harry's breath caught in his throat, suddenly he felt much more awake. "I don't have to go back? Where am I going? To Grimmauld Place with the others?"

Dumbledore shook his head sadly. "No, Harry, you misunderstood me. You need to return to Privet Drive. You need the blood protection from your aunt now more than ever. But I won't send you back there alone. Dobby will be returning with you to care for you while you regain your strength."

The image of Dobby's large tennis ball eyes loomed in his mind as he remembered the fiasco with the pudding before second year. "I don't think that's such a good idea. The Dursleys won't agree to it."

"The Dursleys know nothing about it. One of the duties of a House-Elf is to remain out of sight. Dobby can handle that, and he's looking forward to the chance to play nursemaid to you."

Harry could just imagine and nearly groaned out loud at the thought. "Magic performed by a House Elf will go undetected by the Ministry, so you'll have a bit of protection there as well."

"That's not true, sir. Before my second year, I got a letter from the Ministry about a Levitation Charm that Dobby performed."

"It's undetected unless said House Elf wants the magic to be detected."

Comprehension dawned on Harry. "He was _trying_ to get me in trouble with the Ministry."

"He did the wrong thing for the right reason. And he wants to make it up to you."

Harry could tell that although Dumbledore's words made it seem perfectly logical, the Headmaster was getting immense amusement out of the situation.

"In addition, Bill Weasley will be staying with Mrs. Figg. He'll be spending the days with you researching the texts and continuing your training when you're feeling better. The Dursleys have already been informed of his presence there."

Harry's eyes opened wide. "What?"

"Harry, we tried to convince your Aunt Petunia of the necessity of relocating for a few weeks. We wanted to bring you, and all of them, to Grimmauld Place. Molly Weasley is quite adamant that is where you belong. However, your aunt would not agree. I cannot force her to move, but, we are working on convincing her."

"What d'you mean?" Harry asked cautiously.

"I told you when we discussed summer arrangements before that there are things I will not tolerate. The Dursleys behavior over Christmas leads me to believe I need to take a more active role in what is going on there. The presence of the Order will be much more prominent at Privet Drive, and Bill will be making himself quite comfortable."

Harry couldn't suppress the grin over how the Dursleys would react to a bunch of Wizards in plain sight on Privet Drive. "Just do things to make the neighbors notice," Harry volunteered. "That'll make her change her mind in a hurry."

Dumbledore was studying Harry carefully and it made him uncomfortable. "I am sorry I did not do this sooner, Harry. I am curious as to why you never mentioned what was going on there?"

Harry slumped down beneath the covers. "I'm tired now, sir."

"Harry–"

"I don't want to talk about this. What's done is done and it can't be changed. I'll be seventeen at the end of next month and can leave them for good. That'll be the end of it."

Professor Dumbledore's face was unbearably sad as he rose to his feet. "Very well, Harry. I hope to have you out of there well before your birthday. Get some sleep, now."

Harry watched him as he left the Hospital wing. He seemed to shuffle slowly, appearing old and frail and much less vibrant than he'd been at the beginning of their conversation. Harry's body ached and he just wanted to sleep. He was worried about how he'd cope on his own at the Dursleys if he felt this miserable. He hoped his strength would return soon. He had to be stronger before he ended up with them or they'd eat him alive. With these thoughts, he fell into a restless slumber.

A/N: Wow, I'm stunned and amazed by the response to the last chapter! I must admit, I was terrified that you were all going to be like, That was it? I've waited all this time for that?" Phew! Huge relief! Thank you all so much!

Special call out to Mrs. SakuraPotter. I was really touched by your review. I didn't even know about that new recommend feature and the fact that you searched for a place to give me one was really awesome. Thank you!


	36. The Leaving Feast

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Thirty-six

The Leaving Feast

Harry was released from the Hospital despite Madam Pomfrey's objections on the morning of the Leaving Feast. The Hogwarts Express would be returning them all to London the next day. He had spent the vast majority of the past week sleeping. He was incredibly frustrated with his exhaustion, despite Madam Pomfrey's assurances that it was a good thing. She said the only way for his magical energy to restore itself was through sleep and his body would demand it.

The most exertion he had managed was brief strolls across the room to use the loo. After that, he always needed a nap. The feeling that everyone was still keeping things from him annoyed him. Whenever he finally got someone to open up and talk, the exhaustion would always win out and he'd fall asleep before he got any real information.

He did learn that there had been another casualty within the Order. A young Auror named Simon Duffy had given his life in the battle to rescue Harry and Ron. Harry had never even met the man, but he added his name to the list in his head. Two more people whom had died so he could live. His guilt was compounded by the fact that when he first heard about it, he'd been relieved it was a stranger and not someone he knew.

He hadn't been well enough to attend the quiet Memorial Service the Order had held for either Simon or Jonathan. The loss of Jonathan hadn't fully hit him yet, but he knew over the summer, when he was looking over the notes on Old Magic that Jonathan had begun, he'd feel the sorrow in force. For now, he was feeling sort of numb.

His bruises had begun to fade, although the color was still vivid around his ribs. He was tempted to try a simple spell to test his magic and find out just how drained he was, but Madam Pomfrey's warnings that it would delay his full recovery held him back. He hated feeling so helpless!

After being released from the Hospital and painstakingly making his way back to Gryffindor Tower with the help of his friends, he was surprised to discover the rest of Gryffindor House waiting for him. An impromptu party commenced with Harry propped on the couch at the center of it all.

Ginny sat with him, holding his hand and soothing away his anxiety of being the center of attention yet again. He still hadn't had a moment alone with her since waking up and he desperately wanted to talk to her before they went home. She noticed when he began to tire and got Ron to help him up the stairs to the dormitory where he'd fallen asleep quickly.

Ron and Hermione left the Room of Requirement and headed back to Gryffindor Tower. They'd left the party in full swing after Harry went upstairs for a kip. Hermione wanted to gather a few more books on Old Magic to take home with her to study over the summer. Professor Dumbledore had told her she could use whatever she needed as long as she kept him informed of her progress.

She walked with Ron quietly by her side. Their relationship had been tense and strained since Ron's return from Malfoy Manor, where they'd been held. She had been going spare while they were missing. She just couldn't forgive herself for being so completely taken with Professor Trent. She'd believed in the woman! Now, in hindsight, she could see that it had more to do with being on the right side of an argument with Ron than with being logical. If she hadn't been so stubborn, this whole mess might have been prevented.

Professor Trent was Narcissa Malfoy all along! She should have noticed that. She should have seen the odd behavior between the two and the way Malfoy acted like such a petulant baby around her. Of course he did, she was his Mummy!

__

Malfoy. Se was having trouble accepting the fact Ron had killed him, never mind the toll it was taking on Ron. Although he tried to make everyone believe he was fine and handling it okay, she knew better. He was tense and volatile, easily set off and quick to lash out; even more than he normally was.

He was distant and evasive, reminding her oddly of Harry. She'd tried to get him to open up and talk about it, but it only made him angrier. He just wanted to brush it all under the rug and pretend it hadn't happened. She was really worried about him; this wasn't the Ron she was used to handling. She hoped being back with his family at Grimmauld Place would help; certainly Mrs. Weasley would notice the subtle changes. Hermione was planning on doing some travelling with her parents this summer. They wanted some time together and she couldn't deny them.

She was worried about Harry, too. She just couldn't understand Dumbledore's insistence that he be sent back to the Dursleys. Harry was in rough shape, he could barely stay awake for more than a few hours and the Dursleys certainly wouldn't help him at all. He was shaky on his feet and startled easily, she didn't think it was fair to poor Dobby to make him handle everything alone.

She was so lost in her thoughts, growing angrier by the minute, she didn't realize Ron was huffing to keep up with her angry stride.

"Hermione," he panted. "What's the hurry?"

"I'm sorry, Ron," she said as she slowed her pace. "I'm worried about Harry. He still doesn't look well, and I don't think putting him with the Dursleys is a good idea."

"I know; Mum's having a fit, too. I think she sent Professor Dumbledore a Howler. Ginny has been owling Bill on nearly an hourly basis with instructions on things to watch for."

"Well, I'm glad Bill will be keeping an eye on things. Did Ginny tell him to try and cause as much commotion in front of the neighbors as possible? That it might be the only way to convince Mrs. Dursley to go to Grimmauld Place?"

"Believe me, Ginny's told him."

"Every year we send Harry home with those people emotionally wounded. This year, his wounds are physical as well, and I don't think Dobby is enough against all of them."

"Hermione, Dobby can handle much more than Harry and the Dursleys. He'll make Harry take care of himself better than anyone else could because Harry won't have the heart or patience to argue with him. He can handle the Dursleys as well. He put up with the Malfoys for years." Ron said.

Hermione quickly glanced at Ron's face. It had gone dark and stormy, the blue of his eyes was nearly black with intensity. His pace picked up and it was now her turn to try and keep up with him. He barked the password to the Fat Lady and they entered the still crowded Common Room. She followed a silent Ron up the stairs to the sixth year boy's dormitory.

Ron pushed open the door to his room to find Ginny sitting on a chair next to Harry's bed, where he lay sleeping peacefully. She had a Quidditch magazine in her hands and was flipping through it absently. She looked up as they entered.

"Hello, you two," she greeted, disdainfully throwing the magazine aside. "He has absolutely nothing to read in here."

Hermione smiled in agreement and sympathy. "He's still asleep?"

Ginny nodded as Harry rolled over and sat up. "No, he's not. How can a bloke get any sleep around here with you lot constantly in and out?" he asked grumpily, although the mischievous twinkle in his eye gave him away.

He looked wan and battered. The bruising on his face showed up starkly against his pale skin. It made him appear extremely delicate, although she was wise enough not to say that to him.

"Get some sleep?" Ron asked indignantly. "Harry, all you've been doing for the past week is sleeping! Aren't you bored with it yet?"

Ginny scowled fiercely at her brother. "Ron! The only way his magic can restore itself is when he's sleeping. Leave him alone." She had stood up and marched right over to where Ron stood, stopping in front of him and snarling like a lioness.

Harry grinned in amusement. He fleetingly thought that his masculine pride should be ruffled by her protectiveness, but he had to admit he enjoyed it. No one had ever defended him quite like Ginny did. His mind was brought back to the time in Flourish and Blotts, before second year, when a pint sized Ginny had defended him to Draco Malfoy with all she was worth. It was the first time anyone had ever stood up for him like that.

Harry reckoned that his own masculinity couldn't be offended as he watched his best friend, who was at least a foot taller than his sister and easily outweighed her as well, cringing beneath her fury and backing away from her. He held his arms up to ward her off in his own defense.

"Take it easy, sis." Ron replied. "I'm just giving him a hard time. He doesn't expect anything less."

Harry was grinning at Ron. "Sod off, Weasley."

"Boys!" Hermione muttered under her breath. "How are you feeling, Harry?" she asked.

"Okay, I guess. I'm sorry I missed this past week and all the free time. I would have enjoyed spending some time down by the lake before I had to go back," he answered honestly.

"I wish you were coming straight to Grimmauld Place with us," Ginny said fretfully. Harry clasped her hand in his own.

"It won't be for long."

"Harry, I know Professor Dumbledore believes you need to be with your aunt for the protection it provides, but what about protection _from_ them?" Hermione brought up the subject that had been plaguing her since Christmas.

She watched as Harry's face closed off and he rested his head back on his pillows wearily. She knew he was going to try and avoid this, but she wasn't going to let it drop.

"Dobby can keep an eye on things," he replied evasively.

"Harry, let's drop the pretense. We all saw their behavior at Christmas. Your uncle was going to hit you, and I don't think it would have been the first time."

There, the elephant in the room had finally been acknowledged. There was a tense silence as they all held their breath and stared at one another with wide eyes, waiting to see who would speak first.

Harry's eyes flashed angrily for a moment, and then the fire seemed to go out of them entirely. He began studying the blanket on his bed as if it were the most interesting thing he'd ever seen, picking at a stray thread absently. "I don't want to talk about the Dursleys," he said quietly.

"I know you don't, Harry," she pressed. "But I think you need to talk about them. They don't deserve your protection."

Ginny sat down on the bed next to Harry and gently ran her fingers in his hair. He leaned his head toward her touch and closed his eyes, breathing deeply.

"I'm not protecting them," he sighed. "It is what it is, and I've survived for fifteen years. One more month isn't going to kill me. Dumbledore doesn't even believe we'll be there for a whole month."

"But Harry, you shouldn't have to survive it. It isn't right, and you should never have to go back to something like that every year!"

"Look, it's nothing. He gets angry sometimes, that's all. He hasn't really been physical in a very long time."

"Are you listening to yourself? It's not nothing'! Hasn't _really_ been physical? So how old were you when it started?" Hermione was really getting angry now. Ron's eyes were wide and panicked. She could tell he both wanted her to stop before setting Harry off, yet continue because it needed to be said. "You could get the Muggle authorities involved, there are laws against this sort of thing."

"No. Hermione, stop! I'm not getting into this with you. It's not a good situation; I'll give you that. They've never really wanted me there, but they took me and gave me shelter when I needed it. I'll be seventeen soon and none of it will matter any more."

"Oh, Harry," she cried. "Why won't you stand up for yourself when you're so quick to stand up for everyone else?"

"My _saving people thing'_, you mean?" he asked angrily.

"No, Harry, your humanity. Why don't you think the same common decency should apply to yourself?"

Harry closed his eyes again wearily, she could tell he just didn't have the strength to argue with her. "I need to go to the Owlry and clean out Hedwig's cage before we leave and I won't be able to use magic."

"I'll do it, mate," Ron volunteered. "I need to do Pig's as well."

"I'll go with you, Ron," Hermione said. "We're not done talking about this, Harry." She'd let him off for now, but she fully intended to bring it back up. She leaned over and kissed his head to lighten her words as she followed Ron from the room.

Harry and Ginny watched as the two left the dormitory. Harry breathed a huge sigh of relief and sunk back down into the comfort of his bed.

"She's only saying it because she cares so much, you know," Ginny offered. "We all do." As she leaned over, one strand of hair pulled loose from her ponytail and fell across her face. Harry absently brushed it back, rubbing it between his fingers and enjoying its softness. He'd thought he'd never get to do that again.

"I know it," he replied. "I just don't want to get into it with her. Do you know this is the first time I've been alone with you since I got back?" His hand was still playing with her lock of hair.

"Harry, really! We've been together in the Hospital wing all week."

"That's hardly alone. Everyone was in and out of there constantly and Madam Pomfrey never stopped pouring Potions down my throat."

Ginny giggled and climbed onto the bed next to him. She leaned in close to his ear making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end, and whispered huskily, "Exactly why did you need me alone, Mr. Potter?"

Harry's eyes widened in surprise as he became aroused_. At least that still works_, he thought wryly. He moved away from her slightly to cover his awkwardness and turned his head to face her. "I wanted to tell you something."

Ginny's eyes widened and her breath hitched. "What's that?"

He could read the apprehension on her features and wanted to ally her fears. He took her hand in his own and began quietly, hesitantly, "I needed to thank you."

Ginny looked confused. "Thank me. For what?"

"WhenWhen Voldemort was trying to destroy my mind, and I managed to drive him outit was with a specific thought. That thought not only saved my life, but it somehow hurt him as well."

Ginny was barely breathing as she prompted him to continue. "A specific thought?"

"Uh huh. Jonathan kept giving me instructions, telling me to think about the people I care about. It was hurting Voldemort somehow. After I realized that, I thought of you."

"Of me?"

Harry's heart was beating painfully in his chest, this was it. This was the moment he'd been waiting for since he'd been locked in that awful cell. Why was he suddenly so afraid to say it? He again reached his hand up to play with that stubborn lock of hair that had fallen back onto her face. _Merlin, why was this so hard?_

"The one thing Voldemort can 4''5]] ]]]]]]]]gccccccccc

c

not understand is love. That's why he couldn't possess me at the Ministry last year, because of my love for Sirius." Harry licked his lips; they were suddenly painfully dry. "This time, at Malfoy Manor, he couldn't destroy my mind because, erbecause I thought of my love for you. I love you, Ginny, more than I ever knew I could love anybody." His words, which had started out so strong, had ended in barely a whisper.

Tears had come unbidden to Ginny's eyes as she rested her forehead against his. Gently she caressed his cheek with the back of her hand. "Harry, you daft prat."

It took a minute for her words to register and when they did, he blinked in confusion. "Huh?"

She smiled, keeping her forehead pressed to his own. "Harry, I've loved you for so long now, I can never figure out how you don't see that. When you said you needed to talk, I thought we were about to get into another battle over your nobility complex. I was sure you were going to try and push me away again. Instead you tell me you love me," her voice broke on her last sentence. "You never cease to surprise me."

"I'm never going to push you away again, Ginny. It was because I love you so much that helped me stay alive. I need you, Ginny. I'm going to miss you so much this summer."

She smiled brightly. "Oh, I won't be too far. Bill is staying with Mrs. Figg and I've already seen to it that the Floo connection between her house and Grimmauld Place is open. I plan on spending some time in Little Whinging this summer."

Harry grinned broadly. "Seriously?"

"I wouldn't joke about something like that, luv. I don't trust that either my brother or Dobby will look after you properly so I'm just going to have to check on you myself," she said, reminding Harry vividly of her mother.

"I'll just have to suffer through it then," he joked and she slapped his arm.

"Prat! If you promise to keep telling me you love me, you won't be able to keep me away."

Harry's cheeks tinged a bright pink, showing up starkly against the paleness of his skin. He looked down as he whispered, "I do love you, Ginny Weasley."

"Then why are you so embarrassed to say it?" she teased.

He shrugged. "I don't know. It feels strange to say. I've never said that to anyone before."

Ginny's eyes flew open wide and all the color drained from her face so her pallor matched his. "Oh, Harry," she cried, flinging herself around his neck. "That makes it all the more special that you'd say it to me." She sniffled against him and he patted her back awkwardly.

"Ginny, I thought it was a good thing."

She kissed him soundly on the lips. "It is a good thing. I'm going to go take a shower and get ready for the Leaving Feast. Do you need any help to do the same?"

He raised one eyebrow and questioned, "Are you volunteering?"

She slapped his arm again but was grinning widely. "Prat! I could get Ron to go in and help you."

He grinned back. "Thanks, I'll pass. I can manage. Meet you in the Common Room."

Harry and Ron went down to the Common Room together, but had to wait a while for Ginny and Hermione to come down from their rooms.

"Are you all packed?" Hermione asked immediately upon joining them.

"All set and ready to go," replied Ron.

The four Gryffindors headed down the stairs and entered the Great Hall, which was already filled to capacity with students. The food was already on the tables. Harry immediately noticed that the wall behind the teacher's table was draped in black rather than the House colors.

His mind was brought back to his fourth year when the same thing had happened. Then it was in memory of Cedric Diggory. This time, it was for Draco Malfoy. He felt his stomach clench, not knowing what he was supposed to feel. Malfoy was a Death Eater. He'd tried to lure Ginny into a trap; one that probably would have got her killed. He succeeded in abducting both Ron and himself from the castle and turned them over to be tortured. Still, he didn't deserve to die. He could never wish that on anyone.

Harry glanced over at Ron. His friend had gone very pale and sat down heavily. Harry knew the kind of guilt that was eating away at Ron and wished there were something he could do. Ron had no choice. He'd been defending both himself and Harry, what happened was a tragic accident. He also knew it would take Ron a while to realize that.

The food was splendid, as always. Harry's appetite hadn't completely returned but he managed to put away quite a hefty helping. He couldn't help but notice that it was Ron this time who only played with his food. Hermione must have noticed as well.

"Ron, why aren't you eating?" she asked. "Don't you feel well?"

"I'm fine," Ron answered shortly.

"Well it isn't like you not to be wolfing down seconds or even thirds at this point and you've barely touched what's on your plate."

"I said I was fine, Hermione. Just eat your dinner and mind your own business," he snapped.

Hermione's eyes brimmed with tears and she quickly looked down at her plate.

"Ron!" Ginny scolded, glaring angrily at her brother. "She's simply concerned, there's no need to snap."

Ron viciously stabbed at a potato but didn't look up.

"Just leave it alone, Gin." Harry said, knowing from experience that the more everyone pushed, the angrier Ron would get. Harry usually responded the same way.

He'd hoped to get a moment alone with Ron before the term ended to see if he wanted to talk about what happened with Malfoy. Watching Ron now and seeing his frustration with Hermione, Harry knew he wasn't ready yet. If there was one thing about feelings that Harry wasn't clueless about, it was the need for space and time to clear things in your own head before you could talk about them.

He could wait for Ron; he'd want to talk about it eventually. Ron was always the one who gave Harry the time he needed, he never pushed him to talk, and didn't let anyone else push him either. It was Harry's turn to do the same for Ron. He just hoped Hermione would wait. She could always set Harry off with her need to push and logically analyze everything. She was used to yelling at Ron and having him yell back. He suspected they'd work it out, they always did, but it might get ugly for a while first.

Ginny scowled at Harry, but dropped it and returned to her own meal.

After a few minutes of silence, Ron reached over and squeezed Hermione's hand. "I didn't mean to snap. Let's just have a good final night, all right?"

Hermione looked up and smiled weakly, "Right, then."

Harry was enjoying himself more than he'd expected to, despite Ron's obvious gloom. He was glad to be back amongst friends and would sorely miss Hogwarts by this time tomorrow. He was growing tired and struggled to keep his eyes open. He had to catch himself several times as his head began to nod forward.

The food was sumptuous and when the plates were cleared, Professor Dumbledore rose to his feet and held his glass in the air.

"So, the end of yet another year is upon us. Alas, where does the time go? It does not seem all that long ago to me that I was a student here."

He allowed the chuckles to titter around the Hall before continuing.

"As I'm sure you have all noticed, we are mourning the loss of a fellow classmate. Draco Malfoy chose to side with Lord Voldemort." Gasps echoed through the hall at mention of the Dark Lord's name, but they quickly ceased and a pin dropping could easily be heard in the expectant stillness. "Still, Draco Malfoy was but seventeen and should have had a wonderful life ahead of him. The return of Lord Voldemort has curtailed many of our plans and made us feel we need to put our lives on hold."

"This war is about choosing sides, and standing up for what you believe in. It is about doing what feels right in your heart, over what you feel may be expected of you. Do not allow Voldemort to make those choices for you, or take any of them from you. You must live your lives, live them to the fullest and take whatever happiness you can find from that life. You never know what might happen tomorrow, then again, you never will. Live your dreams, plan your futures, and when the time comes where you may need to make a choice, choose what will allow you to continue to enjoy that life."

Professor Dumbledore raised his glass and saluted the students, who raised their own in return. Harry noticed many at the Slytherin table drinking and toasting as well. He saw Pansy Parkinson with tears streaming down her face and he was reminded of Cho. Maybe it was just a pipe dream, but maybe Malfoy's death had showed them all too painfully that there would be casualties on both sides.

Professor Dumbledore's speech was sobering, yet inspirational, and made Harry raise his glass in a toast to the future. After everyone sat down again, he nearly laid his head in the pudding in his exhaustion.

Ginny giggled at him and tugged on his arm. "Come on, Mr. Potter. It's time you went to bed before we have to levitate you up there."

He was too tired to argue with her. "Goodnight, Hermione. Night, Ron. I'll see you upstairs."

"Bet you won't," Ron called and Harry was pleased. It was the first joke Ron made all evening. He was right, too, Harry wasn't sure he could stay awake to even get into bed.

Before they had left the room, Harry looked up to find the looming presence of Professor Snape blocking the way. The man had appeared like a bat. He looked as unpleasant as ever, but there was something else there, as well; something hidden and elusive behind his eyes.

"Mr. Potter," he said silkily, but even that seemed to lack its usual venom. "Off to see if there are a few more rules you can break before the year is done?"

"He's not breaking any rules. We're tired and Madam Pomfrey told him not to overdo it," Ginny defended fiercely.

"It's okay, Gin."

"Yes, you are looking rather peaked. Be sure to head straight for your Common Room, I don't want to hear that you were found anywhere else."

"Yes, sirthank you," Harry said simply.

Professor Snape stiffened slightly, then nodded his head and stalked away.

Harry and Ginny made the long climb up to Gryffindor tower and through the Portrait Hole. She tugged his hand and led him up the stairs to the boy's dormitory. "I'll tuck you in. It's the last night and the feast is over, can't lose any points, right?"

"I'm not complaining."

He took his pajamas and changed in the bathroom while she pulled the covers back on his bed. He lied down and she tucked him in snugly, smoothing any stray wrinkles from the blankets. "Stay for a few minutes," he asked.

She climbed in next to him and kissed him on the head. "You look knackered."

"I am, but this is nice."

"I'll just stay until you fall asleep then, I don't think it will take very long."

"Oh, you don't, do you?" His eyes were drooping as he snuggled in closer to her.

"Harry?"

"Hmmmm?"

"Things will be better this summer. At Privet Drive, I mean. You won't be all alone this time. If things start to get to you, please talk to someone. Tell Bill, or Dobby, orsomeone."

He pulled her closer and hugged her tightly, wanting to reassure her that he'd be okay. "Don't worry, Ginny. I'm okay, and I know I've got you all to lean on if I need it. Besides, you said you'd be around a bit, right?"

"I will, as soon as I'm able; Ron, too. I know he'll want to come."

"I think this summer won't be so bad," he told her, closing his eyes again. He was startled to realize he meant it. Despite the fact that Voldemort knew the Prophecy and was determined to eliminate him as a threat, he was calmer, clearer and more focused than he'd ever been before. He had his own family now, he thought, glancing fondly at Ginny, and no one was going to take that away. He'd fight and win for the life he wanted to have, it was within his reach and he was more determined than ever that he was finally going to have everything he'd ever hoped for.

Harry fell asleep with these thoughts and was never aware of Ginny kissing his forehead and securing the blankets snugly around him.

"I love you, Harry," she whispered as she drew the curtains around his bed and quietly snuffed out the light before returning to her own room.

A/N: I have a funny story for you. Way back in the earlier chapters, can't even remember which one now, I went out one night and had a bit too much to drink. Now, I've got three kids, ages 2, 4, and 6, so I don't get out much. Anyway, I'd been having a bit of a block with the chapter I was working on but got inspired really late after we got home. I started writing and actually finished up the chapter. The next day, when I read back what I wrote, I'd done the ENTIRE chapter in the wrong tense! It was pretty funny and I still catch a mistake now and then from it. So, go ahead and write when tipsy (the chapter came out well), but always check your verbs after you do!

Special note to Thestral: Did you actually read this story? This is, has always been, and will always be, a H/G fic. I'm firmly planted on that ship, but if you don't like it, you can always stop reading.


	37. 37 Back Into Hell

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing, it all belongs to J.K.Rowling. I'm just borrowing the characters to play with for a while. This is for pleasure only, no profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

****

Chapter Thirty-seven

Back Into Hell

The Hogwarts Express was due to leave at ten o'clock in the morning. The four Gryffindors cleared out of their dorms, checking under the beds for any last-minute stray items, and left their trunks in the hallway for the House Elves to load onto the train.

Harry was feeling sad and rather discouraged about leaving, knowing he was in for a long, hot summer with the Dursleys. He hoped Bill could succeed in getting them to just leave him alone. Still, if Ginny and Ron were allowed to use the Floo to Mrs. Figg's house, this could turn out to be his best summer yet. He certainly had enough work to keep him occupied. It was bound to be interesting, at least, and he wondered what it would take to get Aunt Petunia to change her mind about going to Grimmauld Place. Knowing Aunt Petunia and Bill Weasley, neither was likely to back down.

He just wished he felt better physically. He was tired and pale, the excitement over leaving the hospital combined with last night's feast was catching up to him. He lagged slightly behind the others on the way down to the carriages that would transport them to the station in Hogsmeade.

The station was crowded and bustling with activity when they arrived. Harry allowed Ginny to pull him along as he precariously managed Hedwig's cage. His owl ruffled her feathers indignantly over being jostled about. "Come on, Harry, move along. We're never going to find an empty compartment otherwise," Ginny cried, tugging on his arm while gently stroking his hand with her thumb to soften her words.

"Hold up, you lot," a familiar, booming voice sounded from somewhere behind them causing them all to stop and turn around.

"Yeh weren't gonna leave without sayin' G'bye, now, were yeh?" Hagrid asked, with a touch of disappointment in his voice.

"Course not, Hagrid," Harry replied, flinging his arms around the half giant and giving him a squeeze. Hagrid was surprised, but seemed pleased by the affection.

"Yeh take good care of yerself, Harry. Do everythin' yer supposed ter and take all yer Potions. They'll have yeh feelin' better in no time. Lemme know if them relatives of yers give yeh any trouble. I haven't added a pig's tail ter anyone in a while." Hagrid smiled, fondly recalling the memory.

"Will do, Hagrid. You take care of yourself as well. I'll see you in September."

"Right. I know Professor Dumbledore is plannin' to have yeh out of that place as soon as he can. Great man, Dumbledore."

"I know. I'll be fine. Did you know Dobby is staying with me this year?"

"I heard that! Ne'er seen a House Elf so excited in me life."

Harry rolled his eyes and groaned, imagining Dobby's exuberance. This ought to be interesting. He had to admit the idea of seeing Aunt Petunia's face if she caught sight of the indomitable House Elf was rather amusing.

"Good-bye, Hagrid. Do be careful and take care of yourself," Hermione said, giving him a hug farewell.

"Take care, Hagrid. See you in the Fall. We'll be Seventh years then and ready to rule the school." Ron beamed and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Heh," Hagrid scoffed. "As if ye hadn't been doin' that since yer first year anyways."

"Don't worry, Hagrid, I'll take care of Harry." Ginny promised as she, too, hugged him goodbye. Her small frame nearly disappeared within his massive arms.

"I have no doubt about that, Ginny. You keep him on the straight an' narrow. I know he'd do anythin' for yeh."

Harry hugged him again and turned to follow the others. They boarded the train at last and did manage to find an empty compartment. As in the ride to school back in September, Neville and Luna joined them.

"Another year done," Hermione sighed as she sank down into a seat.

"Next year will be our last," Ron said, sounding slightly nostalgic already.

"Not for Luna and I, we still have another year after that," Ginny added.

"I wonder who will be Head Girl and Boy next year?" Hermione queried.

"No doubt about Head Girl, that would be you," Ron said, pointing at Hermione.

Hermione smiled tightly. "You don't know that, Ron."

He rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Of course I do, Hermione. You're the smartest witch in our year. You have been since first year and you got more O.W.L.s than anyone. Who else is even competition?"

Hermione smiled, obviously pleased with his high praise. "It's not how many O.W.L.s you get that decides who will be Head Girl," she insisted.

Ron patted her hand but ignored her. "It's more of a question who will get Head Boy. Ernie MacMillan has certainly been posturing for it, but I don't think he should get it. It's not even necessarily a Prefect who gets it. I think it will be you, mate."

Harry was startled to realize Ron was talking to him. "Me? No, I don't think so. I've broken way too many rules around here. Snape would have a fit. Maybe it will be you, Ron."

"I think we'll just have to wait and see," Ginny interrupted. "Let's enjoy some of our vacation before we start worrying about next year."

"Where's Dobby?" Ron asked, grinning. He found it highly amusing that the mental House Elf was going to be living with Harry and teased him about it unmercifully.

"He's going to Apparate and meet me there. House Elves can Apparate right through the wards so he can get into the house. That's how they do it at Hogwarts, too."

"Fred and George want to make a visit. I'm sure they plan on enlisting Dobby's help to leave some treats for Dudley." Ron was grinning evilly and Harry, too, began to smile at the thought. After Dudley's rudeness at Christmas, Ron was dying to get a chance for some payback.

"Couldn't happen to a nicer guy," Harry said sarcastically.

"Your relatives haven't even been told he's going to be there?" Hermione asked, a slight frown of disapproval on her face.

"Nope. Professor Dumbledore says one of the duties of a House Elf is to not be seen, so he feels Dobby will have no trouble hiding his presence from the Dursleys."

"That's reprehensible. By calling it a duty it reinforces the idea that they aren't even worthy of being acknowledged. I can't believe Dobby would agree to this! He knows better." Hermione was indignant and glaring at Harry as if it was his fault.

"Don't blame me, Hermione. If it were up to me, I wouldn't have him there at all. I don't need him, I could manage."

"You could not, Harry Potter," Ginny interrupted furiously. "You don't take care of yourself under the best of conditions, never mind being trapped with them. Dobby will make sure you eat, and sleep, and take your Potions. And he won't let your relatives treat you like slave labor or dole out any undue punishments. It's a good thing he's going to be there, and it's necessary." She exclaimed, turning her glare to Hermione as she finished her tirade.

Hermione had the sense to know when to shut up, even if she didn't like it. She pursed her lips and sat back in her seat with her arms folded across her chest. Harry noticed Ron grinning at his sister. He seemed quite pleased to see someone turn Hermione off the subject of House Elf rights.

Harry knew Hermione only gave up because she was actually more concerned about him than she was over even the House Elves plight, and it touched him deeply. He really had a lot of people in his corner watching out for him.

As the train rolled on, memories of his captivity and the battle at Malfoy Manor replayed in his mind. He finally allowed his thoughts and memories about Jonathan to filter through his mind. For days, he'd tried to block them out. Now, sitting here on this train with Jonathan's face looming large in his mind, he let himself remember.

He remembered how he'd thought of Percy when he first met him, and how different from Percy he'd actually turned out to be. He remembered all their duels, the ones with swords, or wands, or even just hand-to-hand. He smiled as he thought of his stunned exhilaration the first time he'd managed to beat him.

Jonathan had promised to help Harry defeat Voldemort. Defeat the creature that had stolen his family and the life he'd built. Now, he'd never get the chance to be there at the end to see if all his effort would pay off. He had helped him, though. He'd helped him a lot. Harry felt he never would have survived the last few weeks without Jonathan. Even at the end, it had been Jonathan yelling instructions to him on how to beat Voldemort.

The notes and books he'd found would be invaluable. Harry felt with a certainty in his heart that the answers were in there somewhere. He just had to find them. He had a lot of the Order, Hermione, and even Professor Dumbledore helping. Harry was sure the answer was within their grasp. And he had Jonathan to thank for that.

"Are you all right?" Ginny's quiet voice broke into his reverie. He'd been starting out the window and she must have noticed the pained expression on his face.

"I'm okay. I was just thinking about Jonathan."

"I'm sorry, Harry," she whispered, keeping her voice low so as not to be overheard by the others. "I know you two had grown friendly. But from everything you've told me about him, he died doing what he wanted to be doing."

"I know. He said if he had to go down, he'd want it to be fighting Voldemort. I just wish it hadn't been for me."

She pulled him towards her and kissed the top of his head. "Just hang in there, luv. There was nothing you could have done."

"Oi, Harry, interested in a game of chess?" Ron asked.

"Okay."

Neville and Luna had left to visit with Seamus and Dean while Ron set up his chessboard. Harry proceeded to lose spectacularly. He was just about to set the pieces up for a rematch when Hermione said, "Ron, we really should make rounds. We haven't done so at all yet."

Ron assumed a put upon expression and shrugged apologetically. Harry smirked in acknowledgement. "Come on, Ginny. Want to take Ron's spot while he plays the role of a good little Prefect?"

Ginny grinned while Ron glared and followed Hermione from the car. Harry began setting up his pieces but noticed Ginny wasn't positioning hers.

"Ginny," he asked. "Aren't you going to play?"

"Do you really want to?"

Harry shrugged. "I guess not."

Ginny smiled mischievously. "I can think of other things I'd rather do." She batted her eyes dramatically.

A slow grin spread over his face. "What did you have in mind?"

She jumped off her seat and plopped herself in his lap, capturing his lips with her own and giving him a long, tender kiss.

He smiled as she pulled away. "I remember thinking about doing that on the ride _to_ Hogwarts last September."

Surprise showed on Ginny's face. "You did?"

"Uh huh."

"I wished I'd known that then."

"Really? What would you have done about it?"

She leaned in and rested her lips right against his. "I'd have thought of something," she whispered.

He smiled against her mouth and resumed kissing her. He gently ran his tongue along her bottom lip, seeking entrance and she hungrily responded. The little moan she made in the back of her throat nearly drove him to distraction_. Merlin, it had been too long since they'd been able to do this!_

He tangled his hand in the softness of her long hair and trailed kisses along her neck and up towards her ear. Ginny sighed softly as he moved his mouth, making him want more of her. He pulled her tightly to his chest as she flung her head back and bared her throat to his exploring tongue.

Harry almost raised his hand to wandlessly lock the door before remembering he shouldn't. It was a simple spell and probably wouldn't drain much energy, but Madam Pomfrey requested he use as little as possible to help his reserves restore more quickly. Ginny sensed the tenseness in his shoulders and pulled back.

"All right, Harry?" she panted, slightly breathless.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Wishing for more privacy."

She giggled. "I'm in love with you, Harry, and I really don't care who knows it! We've got a little while before they all return, let's take advantage. It's going to be a while before we get to do this again."

He grinned and kissed her again, gently tugging on her bottom lip with his teeth. He still got a thrill every time she told him she loved him, and every time he replied in kind. It was as if the words held some strange, mystical strength that gave him an incredible surge of power. "So, is this what you hand in mind for how we could have spent the ride to school, then?"

Pulling his face close to her own, she spent the next half hour showing him exactly what she had in mind.

Everyone returned to the car when the lunch cart made it's way around. Harry bought lunch for everyone and they all began pondering their arrival at the station.

"Who do you think will be picking us up?" Ron asked.

"Probably both Mum and Dad, plus some members of the Order will be there to greet Harry and make sure he gets off with the Dursleys okay." Ginny replied.

"Mum is probably going to have kittens when you walk away with those Dursleys, mate. She's beside herself that you have to go at all. The poor dear' she keeps crying," Ron imitated his mother dramatically. "She'll probably squeeze the life out of you. She worries about you, being so delicate and all." Ron ducked as Harry threw some of the lunch wrappers at him.

"Delicate!" he huffed indignantly. "I am _not_ delicate."

Ron was grinning broadly. "She thinks you are."

"Tosser," Harry grumbled testily. He knew in his heart that Mrs. Weasley did coddle him, and although it drove him crazy at times, there was a small part of him that enjoyed the attention. He'd never admit that to anyone, least of all himself, and Ron certainly _wasn't_ allowed to call him on it.

"She needs someone to baby. I'm much too grown up and manly for her to do it to me anymore." Ron answered smugly.

Harry glared at him, deciding it was worth a little extra recovery time. He silently and wandlessly conjured a thread to hang down and tickle the side of Ron's face. "Watch out for the spider," he commented casually.

Ron jumped from his seat, wiping frantically at his face with a look of sheer horror. Ginny and Hermione were both giggling hysterically while Harry smirked. "Yeah, Ron, you're _so_ manly!"

"There is really no need to be afraid of spiders, Ronald." Luna commented airily. "They are actually only bits of magic sent out as guardians by the Steeple Horned Rishaks. Quite fascinating really, if you think about it."

"Yeah, right." Ron replied warily.

"Most people think they just bring rain."

"Don't try that again, you wanker." Ron hissed at Harry.

They were interrupted when the door slid open and Crabbe, Goyle and Blaise Zabini entered their car. They all stared at the newcomers warily. _Did Malfoy have a replacement already?_

"What do you lot want?" Ron asked aggressively.

"We know how Malfoy died," Zabini said, looking directly at Ron and Harry while ignoring the others.

"And?" Harry prompted.

"We just wanted you to know we knew the real story, not that rubbish Dumbledore was spouting. Mrs. Malfoy lost her son and her husband. She's not happy."

"And?"

"Word is, both you and the Dark Lord were hurt. So the question is, which one will heal the quickest? From the looks of it, Potter, I think you may be in trouble."

"Don't count me out yet."

"You, too, Weasley. Mrs. Malfoy has a personal vendetta with you. This is going to get ugly quickly. I just thought I'd let you know."

"Well, thank you for the warning." Hermione said waspishly. "Now if you could please just leave."

A tense silence fell upon them after the group departed. No one knew quite what to say to break the silence. Ron was brooding moodily and Hermione watched him, wringing her hands. Harry was growing sleepy and he had trouble keeping his eyes open. He wanted to stay awake to keep an eye on Ron, but his head kept nodding forward. Ginny and Neville took over the chessboard while Luna babbled to both of them about her planned summer adventure. After a while he rested his head on Ginny's shoulder and let the conversation around him lull him to sleep.

He didn't wake again until the train was pulling into the station at King's Cross. Ginny gently shook his shoulder as the others were leaving the compartment. "We're here, sleepyhead. How do you feel?"

He looked around, momentarily confused to find his head on Ginny's lap, the train at a standstill, and the compartment empty. "I'm fine," he answered automatically.

She scowled at him.

"Okay, okay. I ache all over, I'm still tired and I'm really worried about how I'm going to manage with the Dursleys like this. Better?" he asked in exasperation.

"Not better that you don't feel well, but at least you're being honest."

They began gathering their things. Before they could get out the door, however, Fred and George had bounded in. "Hello, family," they chorused.

"We thought we'd just help you with your trunks! I missed not taking the journey this year. Didn't miss the school year much, but I missed the train ride."

Fred levitated Harry's trunk while George got Ginny's and they climbed from the train. They chatted happily as they waited to cross the barrier. Once they were through, Harry found Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Bill, Remus, and Tonks awaiting them on the other side with Ron and Hermione. The muggy heat hit Harry full in the face as they entered the Muggle platform. This summer was already shaping up to be much warmer than last. He felt a drop of sweat roll down his back almost instantly.

"Ginny! Harry!" Mrs. Weasley shouted, wrapping them both in a bear hug and squeezing until Harry gasped at the pressure on his ribs. "Sorry, dear. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, Mrs. Weasley," Harry lied. He saw Ginny scowl at him again.

Shaking hands with Mr. Weasley and Bill, he turned to Remus while Tonks hugged Ginny. "How are you, Moony?"

"I'm well, Harry. And you?"

Harry shrugged, "I'm okay."

"We're going to get you to Grimmauld Place as soon as humanly possible," he promised. "Bill, here, is planning on making life plenty interesting for the Dursleys. They'll be begging to come before you know it."

Harry smiled at Bill, enjoying the thought of tormenting the Dursleys with Ron's brother. Bill smiled at him innocently, but Harry definitely detected a mischievous shine reminiscent of the twins twinkling in his eye. His dragon tooth earring glinted in the sun streaming in from a window.

"Wish we could go, too," Fred moaned.

"Yeah, we have a whole bunch of new products we could get that load of a cousin of yours to try," added George.

Harry glanced over at the Dursleys. The three were huddled together on the far side of the station, staring in revulsion at Harry's greeting party. Harry felt his stomach knot at the sight of them and he was sure he'd paled again when Ginny linked her arm with his.

Uncle Vernon was wearing his suit, which was never a good sign. He only wore it when he wanted to intimidate someone. Aunt Petunia had on a ridiculous straw hat with a silly pink ribbon and Harry knew she was using it to try and hide her face. Dudley cowered behind his parents, somehow managing to convey both his intimidation by the Wizards and his annoyance at having to pick Harry up at all. Harry almost wished he'd had them leave Dudley's memory about Christmas in tact so he'd remember sharing pudding with them all. Then he recalled how that had ended, and it reassured him that he'd made the right decision.

As they all walked over towards the Dursleys; Remus, Tonks and the Weasleys surrounded Harry like shield. His heart filled with gratefulness towards his family. That's just what they are, his _real_ family. The Dursleys may share his blood, but they'd never been family. He'd never even remotely felt the connection to them that he felt to these people walking with him through the train station, ready to defend and protect him at all costs.

Vernon and Petunia stiffened as they approached. He felt Uncle Vernon's glare upon him even before he raised his eyes.

Mrs. Weasley spoke first. Her tone was civil, but Harry could easily detect the coldness. "Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Dursley. I guess this is it. Harry has all his Potions with him and knows the schedule he needs to take them."

Harry smirked at Aunt Petunia's horrified expression when Mrs. Weasley had used the word Potions.' He knew she'd never know anything about how many Potions Harry still needed to take or how often, but he let Mrs. Weasley believe it if it made her feel better.

"He's really doing much better, although he tires easily. If he nods off, don't worry about it, it's good for him. Just make him comfortable and let him sleep," Mrs. Weasley continued. "I'm sure you're aware how independent he is, but one always enjoys a bit of smothering when sick."

Harry started to get annoyed that she was treating him like he was six, but the repulsed expression on Aunt Petunia's face made it worthwhile. She was aghast by the thought she would be expected to somehow act as Harry's caregiver. The most she'd ever done for him in his childhood was to slam a bucket on the floor and tell him not to make a mess on the rug or he'd be in big trouble.

He shared an amused grin with Ron, knowing his friend would understand the ludicrous situation. Aunt Petunia was spluttering, but couldn't seem to make her words form a coherent thought.

"Now see here," Uncle Vernon blustered.

Mrs. Weasley interrupted them. "I'm sure everything will go smoothly. I'd be _extremely_ upset if Harry ended up back in hospital."

Uncle Vernon's face paled at the veiled threat.

"Not to worry, Mum," Bill stepped into the conversation, beaming at the wary Dursleys. "I'll be around plenty to keep an eye on Harry. We're going to have a great summer." He gave the Dursleys a mischievous wink that had Dudley stepping back in alarm.

"Hem, hem," a voice sounded from behind the assembled group. Several heads turned in surprise to find Percy Weasley standing there. He looked uncomfortable and his eyes shifted nervously as he used a handkerchief to wipe the sweat from his brow. Harry had the distinct impression he wished he were anywhere else.

"Percy," Mr. Weasley said in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" Ron demanded angrily. Both twins wore the same furious expression as Ron and stood shoulder to shoulder with their brother, facing the fourth. The Dursleys had backed up in surprise; their faces clearly showing that they were unsure what was going on, but knowing they wanted no part of it.

"I am here on official Ministry business," Percy stated pompously. "I wondered if I might have a word with you, Harry."

Harry saw the distress in Mrs. Weasley's eyes as Percy so casually dismissed his family and an intense fury burned within him. The Weasleys were the best family anyone could ever possibly hope for, how could he just throw all that away? "What do you want, Percy?" he asked coldly, refusing to follow the older boy to a more private spot. Harry's friends gathered closely around him, plainly stating to Percy which side they were all on. He could see Remus's eyes scanning the station for any other signs of Ministry people.

"What do you want with Harry?" Ginny demanded with a cat-like hiss.

Percy puffed out his chest; indignant at being refused a private conversation. "Minister Fudge would like to arrange a meeting with you. I was wondering if I could set one up?"

"So why isn't he here then, if he wants to see me?" Harry asked.

"The Minister is an extremely important and busy man, he doesn't have the time to chase after people. He asked me to make the arrangements for a public meeting."

The pieces were beginning to fall into place for Harry. "So, let me get this straight. He wants to meet with me publicly. I'm guessing somewhere there will be plenty of reporters around so I can give the Minister my full support?"

Percy didn't detect the incredulous tone in Harry's voice. "Exactly," he gushed; obviously relieved this was going easier than he'd expected. "These are dark times and the public has faith in you. Minister Fudge thought a show of solidarity would bolster the public's confidence that this unpleasantness is being dealt with."

"Bloody Hell," Ron burst, no longer able to contain himself.

"Unpleasantness?" Harry was enraged. "UNPLEASANTNESS, PERCY? Is that what you're calling this now? There are people _dying_! Fudge's refusal to accept the truth delayed our defense and gave Voldemort time to plan and recruit unhindered. Fudge isn't worried about the public; he's still worried about nothing more than saving his own hide! I've heard about the vote of no confidence and I hope it happens! I can't think of a more fitting end to our illustrious Minister."

Percy's ears had turned red as he stepped closer to Harry, "Now listen here! I will not tolerate any disrespect towards the Minister from the likes of you. It's been proven you were right about You-Know-Who, but–"

"SAY VOLDEMORT!" Harry yelled and swayed slightly on his feet.

Ron and Hermione each grabbed on to him until the scenery stopped spinning.

"That's enough, Percy," Remsu interrupted standing in front of Harry. "Tell Fudge that he's not going to get any support from Harry, so he can bin that idea."

"We need to come together–" Percy gave one final attempt but was again interrupted, by the twins this time.

"Yeah, he was all over coming together last year while he tried to discredit Harry in the press. Now he needs his fame to boost his sagging career," George said in disgust.

"We all know what he's on about and it won't work." Fred added.

"If you can't stand with us, Percy, you're against us and we don't have time for you," Ron piped in, sounding remarkably mature.

Percy turned on his heel and walked away without a word, his head held high and shoulders stiff. Mrs. Weasley let out a cry and buried her face in her husband's shoulder. He patted her back gently and kissed her head.

"We need to be getting a move on. I don't like to drive after dark," Vernon spoke sternly.

Harry nodded and turned to face the group. Hermione threw her arms around him and hugged him fiercely. "Do take care of yourself, Harry, and get plenty of rest. I'll owl you from my travels and send loads of pictures."

Ron stepped up and awkwardly patted him on the back. "Take care of yourself, mate. I'll be seeing you soon," he said with a wink.

The twins each shook his hand while Bill promised to stop by in the morning. He told Dudley to make sure he carried Harry's trunk for him. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley both gave him hugs and promised to get him to Headquarters as soon as possible.

"Take care, son. Let any one of us know if you have any trouble, we'll be there faster than you can turn around."

"Thanks, Mr. Weasley."

Tonks bounded up next, slapping him on the back hard enough to make him stumble. He hadn't got his strength back entirely and was feeling tired enough to be shaky on his feet. She held him up after she realized he wasn't joking. "Oi, sorry about that, Harry. I forgot you just got out of the hospital. You hang in there, and let us know if they aren't feeding you properly. Remus and I are planning to make a visit one day and take you shopping in Muggle London. It's time we get you some clothes that fit!" She pulled on his dreadfully baggy T-shirt. It was normally too big for him. With his recent weight loss, it was just hanging off him again.

Remus moved up and gave Harry a brief, one-armed hug. "I'll be awaiting an owl telling me how your first night back went. The mirror will still work as well if you need some face time. Let me know how the research is going and I'll do the same."

"I will. Thanks, Moony."

"Take care of yourself, Harry."

"You, too."

Remus looked over at the Dursleys ferociously. For the first time, Harry thought he could detect a hint of the wolf within his personality. "I expect everyone to keep their hands to themselves at all times, if they don't want to deal with me," his words sounded like a low growl.

Uncle Vernon stepped back in alarm, clutching Aunt Petunia and Dudley too him tightly.

The rest of the group pulled back slightly and only Ginny was left standing there. She launched herself at Harry, throwing her arms around his neck and wrapping her legs around his waist. He nearly fell over from the force.

"Ginny," he laughed. "It won't be long."

"I know," she sighed, letting her body straighten on the ground. "I'm going to miss you, though. As soon as you and Bill get a routine set up, Ron and I will come by to see you."

"I can hardly wait."

"I love you, Harry."

"I love you, too, Ginny," he replied as he pulled her close to him and kissed her with enough intensity to last all summer long if it had to.

Ginny stepped back slightly dazed and Harry enjoyed the outraged expression on Aunt Petunia's face.

"All right, boy. It's time we move along," Uncle Vernon huffed. Dudley reluctantly began pulling Harry's trunk under the watchful eyes of the Weasleys.

Remembering Ron's words on the train about his mother, Harry ran over to Mrs. Weasley, wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her on the cheek. It was the first self-initiated embrace he'd ever given her. "Don't worry about me, Mrs. Weasley. I'll be fine and I'll see you soon."

With that, he ran back to the Dursleys and finally turned to face them. "I'm ready. My family was just trying to help."

"Family?" Uncle Vernon spluttered. "You don't have any family."

"Yes I do." Harry smiled confidently as he led the Dursleys out of the train station and into the warm summer sunshine.

****

The End.

A/N: Here it is, the last one! OMG, I actually finished something I started! Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! This has been my baby, my passion, and my obsession for so long now. I can't tell you how good it feels to have completed it. Kind of bittersweet though.

I owe huge thanks to all of you faithful readers who kept me going and inspired me when I got discouraged, and calmed me when I got neurotic. THANK YOU!!! To all of you who've written and told me you clicked on the Highly Recommended button, a great thanks as well since this one will no longer appear on the Recently Updated list. Sniff.

Will there be a sequel? Yeah, I'm gonna do it! My kids are out of school for the summer and I need to stop ignoring my family for a while, LOL! I'll begin in the fall but bear in mind that I need to do an outline, sketchy chapter layout, and write at least five chapters before I post anything, so, don't hold your breath! I hope the ending was everything you expected and I didn't let you down!

In the meantime, if you're interested, I've begun posting on FictionAlly at Snoogle. I've since had this story beta read and the beginning chapters have a lot added to them. I needed to up the word count as well as put in some things I'd wished I'd thought of earlier!

Melinda


End file.
